Repentance - Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16:

It’s safe to say I avoided Edward for the next several days. I wasn’t ready yet. I couldn’t really talk about it yet without getting upset and I didn’t want to be upset anymore. I just wanted some time to myself without having to think about what Edward did to me.

I decided I wanted to get out of town for a little while to try to clear my head. As soon as I got Masen from daycare Friday night I went home, packed a bag, and left for Forks. With the extra money I was saving from Edward having paid all the rent, I was able to rent a car. I almost had enough saved up so that I could buy my own car. It wouldn’t be much, but at least it would be paid for.

I had never told Charlie about what was going on with Edward and I. I couldn’t. A part of me, although I wasn’t ready to admit it, hoped Edward and I could work through things in the long run. He was Masen’s father. He wasn’t a bad person. I never thought Masen would know his real father, much less ever have someone step up to be his father figure. I wanted that for him and it was obvious that he craved Edward’s attention. If I told Charlie the truth, he would make sure Masen and I never saw Edward again.

I told Charlie I was coming to visit because Edward was going out of town to see his family. I was glad Charlie had to work most of the weekend. I wanted to relax and be alone.

I was laying across the couch watching Cartoons with Masen on Saturday morning when there was a knock at the door.

As I was heading to the door, I saw Jake through the window. This was going to be awkward, I thought.

“Hey, Jake. Charlie isn’t here.”

“Bella? What are you doing here?”

“I just came to visit for a few days. Charlie is working.”

“Oh, I thought he was off today. I brought him some left overs. We had too much last night, dad wanted me to bring them by for him. We try to keep an eye on your old man, make sure he stays fed and all.”

I laughed. “Good idea, Jake. I’ll leave it for him.”

Jacob handed me the bag and just stared at me. There was an awkward moment of silence. I hadn’t spoken to him since we broke up my freshman year of college.

“Uh, Bella, I heard about what happened. I just wanted to say I’m sorry.”

“It was a long time ago, Jake. We’re doing better now,” I lied.

“We?” he asked. “You kept the baby?”

“Yes, I did. His name is Masen. He’s wonderful.”

“Oh, I thought I heard you were giving it up for adoption,” Jake said, confused.

“Well, that was the plan, but things changed.”

“Wow, that’s crazy, Bella. I just didn’t really picture you as a mom. How old is he now?”

“He’s almost two. He’s just inside if you want to meet him.”

Jacob hesitated for a moment. “Uh, sure.”

I moved out of the doorway and let Jacob inside. We walked through the kitchen and into the living room where Masen was sitting quietly on the couch, engrossed in his cartoon.

“Masen, I want you to meet an old friend of mine.”

Masen hardly looked up from his cartoon to acknowledge Jacob.

Jacob awkwardly tried to speak to him, but Masen wasn’t interested. Masen usually liked strangers, but he seemed more interested in the TV.

I turned to Jake. “Sorry, I guess he is really into Sesame Street right now.”

“He looks sort of like you,” Jacob said.

“Really?” I asked surprised. I didn’t think he looked like me at all, except for his fair skin and big brown eyes. I always thought his father’s features, even before I knew about Edward, over powered my own.

“Yea, he has your eyes. They are beautiful.”

Jake never really got over our break up. I broke up with him. We were good friends, but being intimate with him just didn’t feel right. It felt like a chore, I liked him as a friend, but the physical chemistry was never there for me.

“Thanks, Jake.” I began walking towards the door again. “Well, thanks for bringing some food by for Charlie. I’ll make sure he eats it when he gets home.”

Jacob nodded his head. “Have you got any plans today?”

“Um, not really. I was just going to hang around here.”

“Well, I was going to go surfing in La Push. It’s really nice out. You and Masen should come with me.”

My initial reaction was to say no. But, the sun was shining, which was rare in Forks, and I missed the beach. Jake and I spent a lot of time there when we were younger. I’d love to take Masen. He’s never been to a beach before.

“That’s a good idea, Jake! Why don’t I just meet you there? I need to get cleaned up a little bit and get Masen ready.”

“Okay, sounds good. I’ll see ya there, Bells.”

I waived as he left. I went inside and changed clothes and explained the beach to Masen. Masen didn’t quite believe me when I told him it would be more exciting than Big Bird.

I noticed my cell phone on my nightstand before I walked out of my room. I remembered that Edward had asked me to let him know when I arrived and I forgot to send him a message last night, possibly on purpose. This was supposed to be a break from him. I grabbed my phone and attempted to send him a text message, but became frustrated with the lack of signal. My cell phone rarely worked in Forks. I gave up and threw it on the bed.

I gathered Masen, my camera, a good book, and a few beach towels at the door before scribbling a note to Charlie and leaving it on the kitchen table.

Dad - we went to First Beach in La Push with Jake. There are left overs for you in the fridge. Don’t wait up. Love you - B.

***

**EPOV**

I was growing increasingly frustrated with Bella. I had a feeling she was getting out of town to get away from me, so I didn’t want to crowd her, but I was worried. She said she would let me know when she got there, and that was last night. I hadn’t heard from her yet and she wasn’t answering her phone or responding to her text messages.

By the time late afternoon rolled around on Saturday, I decided I’d just give Charlie a call and make sure she got there.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Mr. Swan, it’s Edward. I haven’t been able to reach Bella on her cell. Is she there?”

“Oh, hey Edward. She was here, but I just got in and there is a note here that says they went to the beach with Jacob. I’m not sure when she’ll be back, she told me not to wait up, so it may be late. You want me to have her call you?”

I stumbled for words for a moment. Jacob? Wasn’t that the name of Bella’s high school boyfriend? I felt myself growing angry, or jealous. I’m not sure which. “Um, no Mr. Swan. I just wanted to make sure they made it safely. I’ll try her tomorrow.”

“Alright then. Did you make it to Portland? How are your folks?”

I scrambled to make sense of what he was saying, to understand that he had no idea what was going on between Bella and I. I assumed she must have said I was elsewhere this weekend, which is why I didn’t accompany her to Forks. “Uh, yes. They’re just fine, thank you for asking. I will try to catch Bella tomorrow. Thank you.”

I hung up quickly. Bella was with Jacob? Masen was with Jacob? I didn’t know the guy, but he looked pretty buff in the photos I remembered from Bella’s childhood room. I was confused about how I was feeling. When she was with James, I knew she was doing it to spite me. I was never actually jealous of James because I couldn’t get past my concern for Bella’s safety and I knew James’ true character would eventually show itself.

I didn’t know anything about Jacob, other than what he looked like, and that he and Bella used to be good friends and date in high school and college. It wasn’t anger I was feeling, no, it was hurt.

I phone Alice. She answered immediately. “Hi, Edward.”

“Hi, Alice. I’m sorry to bother you, I have a question.”

“Sure, what’s up?”

“What do you know about Jake or Jacob?”

“Jake? Jake who?”

“I don’t know, whoever Bella dated in high school...”

“Oh, Jacob Black. What do I know about him? Wait, why are you asking?”

I took a deep breath. “Bella is with him.”

“What?? What do you mean with him? Like, right now?’

“Yes, she went home for the weekend. I called, Charlie told me she left a note that they went to the beach, and she told him not to wait up. Should I be worried?”

Alice stumbled for words, seemingly stunned. “Well, define worried? I mean, she is safe with him, if that is what you mean.”

“Uh, no. I mean...” I trailed off, not able to even put the thought into words. “Do you think she would ever go back to him?”

Alice sighed. “Oh, Edward. I don’t know anymore. I shouldn’t even be talking to you about this. This isn’t my place.”

“Please, Alice. Please. If you don’t tell me something, I’ll drive up there myself and find out.”

“Edward, don’t be irrational. I haven’t talked about Jacob with Bella in a long time. They were best friends when they were younger. Jacob has been in love with her since the day he was born. She finally gave him a chance in high school, but it never felt right to her. From what I understood, they never spoke again after she broke up with him her freshman year of college. That’s all I know. I’m sure she is just being friendly with him. They used to hang out at the beach all the time, that was there place, I mean...”

Alice tried to retract what she said. “I mean, not their place, they just went there a lot. I don’t think you have anything to worry about Edward, not with Bella anyway. I’m sure Jake is probably still head over heels for her. It’s sad, really.”

I was at a loss for words. I was hurt. “Alice, would this be Masen’s first time at the beach?”

She sighed deeply. “As far as I know. I’m sorry, Edward. She isn’t even thinking about things like that, you understand that, don’t you? She will give Masen every opportunity she can; she never had to consider you being there for his firsts before.”

I felt deflated. The woman I loved more than any other being, and my son, were taking their first trip together to the beach, without me. With her ex-boyfriend no less.

I didn’t have anything else to say. I needed a drink. “Thanks, Alice.”

***

**Bella POV**

I had the most relaxing and amazing time at the beach. Jake stayed in the water the majority of the time and Masen and I played in the sand, read books and sun bathed. I got some really cute photos of him.

I was exhausted and Masen and I both were a little pink from the sun by the time we arrived back to Forks later that evening.

Masen was asleep and I carried him inside. I could hear the TV on in the living room, but I could hear Charlie snoring over it. I sat my bag down, and noticed my note to Charlie was now on the counter, near the door. I picked it up, and scribbled on the bottom was, Edward called, told him you were at the beach with Jake. He said he would try you tomorrow. - Dad

Oh no! “Dad!! What the hell!” I screamed.

I heard Charlie shuffle on the couch. I went into the living room, Masen was awake now, and he crawled into Charlie’s lap.

“What is it, Bells?”

“Why did you tell Edward I was at the beach with Jake?!”

Charlie looked confused. “I don’t know, that’s what your note said, so that’s what I told him.”

“Ugh! Way to go, Dad. What else did you say? What did he say?”

Charlie rubbed his eyes. “That was about it, told him you didn’t know when you would be back, not to wait up, asked how his folks were, if he made it to Portland, that was it.”

I shook my head. “Oh my God, Dad! Don’t ever talk to him, please! Just don’t answer the phone!”

Charlie looked at me like I had six heads. I took Masen from him and we headed upstairs. My previous text messages had finally come through from Edward, wondering if I had made it safely. I received nothing from him after 4:00 p.m. There was nothing about his phone call with Charlie, or the beach. I had a missed call from Alice about an hour ago.

I used the main line to call her back first. She was calling to tell me Edward had called her about Jake. She said he was upset that I was with Jake, but was more upset about the fact that he missed Masen’s first trip to the beach.

My heart broke. It never even crossed my mind. I didn’t think about it. I felt awful. There was nothing going on between Jake and I and I certainly didn’t want Edward thinking there was. I was so frustrated. I had a such a nice time at the beach, only to get home and have to deal with this crap.

I called Edward as soon as I got off the phone with Alice.

“Hello?” he answered softly.

“Hi, it’s me.”

“I assume you made it home; thanks for letting me know.”

I sighed. “Edward, stop brooding. I’m sorry, my phone doesn’t get very good service out here. I forgot to let you know last night and I couldn’t get my phone to work this morning.”

“Charlie has a land line, Bella.”

“I know, I didn’t think about it. I was in a hurry. I said I was sorry.”

“In a hurry to get to the beach with your ex-boyfriend and my son?”

I could tell he had been drinking, he was being an ass. “How much have you had to drink, Edward?”

Edward laughed. “So now you are turning things around on me??”

I had become extremely angry. Masen was asleep on my bed and I stepped outside my room and closed the door. “I’m not turning anything around on you, Edward. First of all, Masen is my son. I’m the one who busted my ass the first year of his life to keep a roof over his head and milk in his bottle and second, yes I was on my way to the beach with Jacob and Masen, as friends. We are only friends, but even if we weren’t it wouldn’t matter!” I was screaming and in tears. “You and I are not together anymore, Edward. I can do what I want. I came here to have some time away from you, can’t you just understand that? After what you did to me, I need room to breathe!”

Edward didn’t say anything for a moment. I think my outburst surprised him. I began to hear muffled sounds through the phone. Was he crying?

“Edward?”

He blew out a deep breath, into the phone. “Bella, I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to do! I’m so afraid to lose you. I can’t live like this. I feel like I can’t breathe when I don’t know where you are, when I can’t see your smile. I’m sorry if I over-reacted, but something has to change. Please, tell me, is there hope for us, or do I need to move on?”

I didn’t know what to say. I had no intentions of being with anyone else, I just couldn’t. I imagined that one day Edward and I would be able to work things out, but that day wasn’t now. I wasn’t ready. “Edward, I don’t know,” I cried. “There is nobody else, I’m just not ready. Do what you think is best for you.”

“You are best for me, Bella.”

I sighed. “Then let me work through my feelings, give me time. I’m not ready to forgive you. We can talk when I get home, okay?”

Charlie stepped around the corner at the bottom of the stairs and looked up at me. I could tell by the look on his face that he had heard everything. “Shit,” I said.

“What?” Edward asked, confused.

“Edward, I have to go.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes. I’ll be home tomorrow.” I hung up and starred back at Charlie blankly.

“Isabella Marie Swan, what did he do to you?”

“Nothing, Dad. It’s nothing. It’s not a big deal,” I said as I wiped the tears from my cheeks. “I’m fine.”

“Bella, tell me. Why did you lie to me about being together with him?”

I didn’t know what to do, or say. I wanted Alice, she would know exactly how to talk her way out of this.

“Dad, I can’t talk about it.” I turned and went back into my room, closing the door and locking it. I heard Charlie coming up the stairs. I began packing my bag, as well as Masen’s. I’m pretty sure it was time for me to go home.

Charlie began knocking on the door. “Bella, don’t make me call your mother.”

“She doesn’t know,” I yelled.

“I’ll call Alice.”

“She won’t tell you!”

Masen sat up in my bed and rubbed his eyes, starring at me blankly. He always looked at me with these big sad brown eyes when he knew I was upset.

I felt trapped. I was beginning to panic. I didn’t want Charlie to know because I didn’t want him to hate Edward. I didn’t want him to be disappointed in me. If he knew, what Edward did, and that I didn’t realize it until he told me, he would think I was an idiot. I was so confused. He would never understand.

“Did he cheat on you? Did he hurt you? Bella, open this damn door.” Charlie kept turning the door knob, as if it would suddenly open.

I heard the key drop to the floor from above the door frame. The door began to open, and I fell to the floor, on my knees, and cried.

Charlie came to me immediately, he sat next to me, and held me. “Bells, what happened?” he said softly. “It’s okay, you can tell me.”

I cried even harder, this is exactly what it felt like when I came home and told Charlie I had been raped. He held me, just like this, in the center of my room for hours. I had to tell him. I wouldn’t be able to hide it forever. I finally pushed Charlie back from me. “Take Masen to your room.”

Charlie immediately did as I asked. I heard his door shut, and Masen begin to cry. He would just have to cry. I don’t care how young he may be, I didn’t want him to see or hear this.

Charlie returned and I looked up at him from the floor, begging with my eyes for his understanding.

“Bella? It can’t be that bad. Guys cheat, especially guys your age. You just move on, there will be others, I promise.”

I shook my head. “He didn’t cheat on me, Dad.” I looked down and fidgeted with my shirt in my lap. I took a deep breath and blew it out. “Dad, Edward is Masen’s biological father.”

I could see Charlie attempting to make sense of what I said. “What do you mean? You’ve been dating him all this time? You weren’t really raped? You just got knocked up?”

My sobs grew louder. “No, Edward was the one who raped me.”

“So...you’ve just been screwing him ever since?”

“Ugh!” I picked up a shoe next to me and launched at it Charlie. “No!! Would you just shut up and let me finish!”

Charlie held up his hands in submission.

“I didn’t know it was him. He knew I was the girl all a long, from the day we met. He was sorry for what he did and wanted to make it up to me and Masen, but he ended up falling in love with me and I fell in love with him. He confessed a few months ago. We haven’t been together since.”

When Charlie didn’t say anything, I looked up. He looked extremely confused, angry and hurt. “Bella, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because Masen loves him. Edward loves Masen. I didn’t want you to hate him,” I cried.

Charlie took a deep breath. “Have you called the investigator who was handling your case?”

I shook my head. “No. I don’t think I want him to go to jail, Dad.”

“That’s where he belongs, Bella.”

“I know it isn’t an excuse, but I believe that he is truly sorry, and he is Masen’s father. They have formed a bond, I can’t take that away from Masen. I can’t explain it all to you right now, I told you that you wouldn’t understand!”

Charlie shook his head, he was angry. “My grandson is not going to be living with a rapist.”

“It’s not like that, Dad! I made him leave after he told me, we haven’t been living together.”

Charlie turned to leave my room and I gathered my things. I heard him going down the stairs and I opened Charlie’s bedroom door to retrieve Masen. Masen was standing just behind the door, crying loudly. I picked him, and our things, up and headed downstairs.

“Bella, you don’t have to leave,” Charlie said.

“Yes, I do,” I said as I opened the door to leave. I hated that Charlie was so disappointed in me, but he didn’t understand. He had never seen Masen and Edward together the way that I had. I was angry at Edward for what he did, but he was not a danger to Masen and I.

I closed the door behind me and never looked back.



***Author’s Note: Happy Memorial Day! I hope you all had a good long weekend! There won’t be an update next weekend, as I will be on a mini vacation, but possible mid-week next week will be the next one, depending on when I get back in town. Thanks for all the lovely reviews!

**CHAPTER 17 - CLICK HERE**

Repentance - Chapter 15

DISCLAIMER: This story contains sensitive subject matters that may not be appropriate for everyone. If you have a sensitivity to the topic of rape, you shouldn’t read this story. It is not meant to condone rape or offend anyone, it is a fictional story. Nobody is making you read it.

CHAPTER 15:

Edward, Emmett, Rose and I spoke briefly the following day. We couldn't really come to an agreement about what to do with respect to James. Of course, Emmett wanted to take him to jail himself, but Edward and I had our reservations. He would be free on bond practically the same day and I would still have to endure him through class, and I would have an even bigger target on my back until his court hearing. Edward went on and on about the secrecy amongst the fraternity brothers, all the money they and their families had, all the power. Edward wanted to wait, not forever, but long enough to keep an eye on the fraternity, and the news, long enough to gather several girls, and be believed. So many of the girls that were rapped on campus never even told the authorities. Edward estimated the numbers to be nearing 100 by now, and that was just since he was aware of it. It had been a tradition within the fraternity for years. Rumor was that one of the guys’ father’s was a crooked cop and helped them out of all the trouble they would get in.

Rose and I decided to make flyers to put around campus encouraging rape victims to report the crime. We also left an email address for people to get in contact with us. Rose and I went to campus at lunch that day and distributed the flyers to young women, as well as posting them on every bulletin board we could find. Edward was, of course, a little concerned. He said if the fraternity found out who was making the flyers, they would come after them. I knew that was a risk we had to take, but Edward and I were determined to stop them, and we thought it would be best to expose the fraternity and bring as many victims to light as we could. Edward insisted when we had power in numbers, and things were working in our favor, we would all go to the police together, Edward would turn himself in. We fought for hours and hours about that. I didn’t know what I wanted anymore. I just didn’t want him to be removed from Masen’s life, but Edward insisted they wouldn’t take us seriously any other way. We weren’t speaking when we went our separate ways that evening.

Needless to say I felt a little uneasy the next few days. Edward didn’t call. He didn’t text message me. He was giving me space. I wasn’t sure I liked it. I know that is what I said I wanted, but it just didn’t feel right. Nothing felt right without him.

It was Thursday afternoon and I was going to be getting off work in about an hour. I’d have to go straight to class. Alice was picking up Masen. I was starting to wonder if Edward remembered what he promised me when I heard my phone chirp. I pulled it out of it’s hiding place in my desk drawer.

I’ll pick you up at 5:00, if you still want me to. - Edward

I exhaled a deep breath I didn’t know I was holding. I was relieved. I really wanted to be in class tonight, to get my mid-term exam grade, if nothing else.

I do. I’ll see you then. Thank you. - B

I was completely unprepared for his next message.

Please choose your words more carefully. You’ve just said something I’ve only dreamt of hearing.

I wasn’t sure what he was talking about until I re-read my message to him. I do. I sighed loudly. I used to dream of marrying him. I felt a familiar lump forming in my throat as I began reminiscing, I forced the thoughts away. Why did he have to make things any more awkward than they already were?

Maybe if you would have chosen your actions more carefully, it wouldn’t have to be only a dream. - B

He responded almost instantly.

Point well taken, but it doesn’t stop me from dreaming. I’ll see you soon. I still love you. - Edward

I sighed and tossed my phone back into the drawer. How could it be possible that I still loved him? I didn’t love the person who did this to me. I hated that person, but I loved Edward. I was having such a hard time understanding how they were the same person. For so long, I had thought of the man who did this to me as a monster. A man who didn’t have one good bone in his body. A man who saw me as an object, not a person. Edward was none of those things.

Tears stung my eyes in frustration. I was so confused. I tried to busy myself with closing down the office. I checked my email, locked up, and headed outside to wait for Edward.

Edward was pulled up right out front, already waiting on me. I took a deep breath before getting into his car.

I slid into the seat and I couldn’t even bring myself to look at him. In a way, not only was I mad about what he did to me that night, but I was mad that he ruined my dream. My dream of marrying him and having a family for Masen.

Edward didn’t speak the entire way to campus. I just stared out the window. I think we were both lost in our own pitiful thoughts. He pulled into the roundabout in front of my building and placed the car in park.

“Thanks,” I muttered, before trying to get out of the car. The doors were locked.

“Bella?” He gently grabbed my wrist.

I turned to face him. I tried to avoid looking into his eyes, so I stared at his long fingers wrapped gently around my wrist.

“Look at me,” he begged.

I reluctantly glanced up at him. His green eyes pierced mine.

“I won’t be far. Call me if you need me. I’ll be here.” Edward sighed and ran his free hand through his hair nervously.

I knew that meant something was wrong. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

He hesitated for a moment, looking away from me. “I was just thinking about how proud I was of you, for doing this, for going back to class.” Edward let go of my wrist and fidgeted nervously with his jacket zipper, as he looked down. “I’m just suddenly nervous that I’m dropping you off directly in front of the line of fire. If he hurts you, it will be my fault.”

“Edward,”

He looked at me, our eyes met. “He can’t hurt me in class. I’ll be okay. It wouldn’t be your fault. I’m making this decision, you just encouraged it.”

Edward sighed. “Okay. Be careful. I’ll be back at 9:00, unless I hear from you otherwise.”

I nodded my head and squeezed his hand. “Thank you.”

***

The only good thing that happened in class was that I aced my mid-term. Everything else was excruciating. I sat in the back of the lecture hall. James was seated below me next to a large black guy with dreads whom I had seen him talk to many times before. It was obvious they were talking about me a lot. They would turn around and look at me while laughing or snickering about something. I tried to ignore them, but it was difficult. Other people in the class knew something was going on and I just prayed that the people seated around them couldn’t over hear their conversation.

I was the first one out of my seat when the professor dismissed us. I hurried down the steps of the lecture room and barged through the door. I didn’t want James to be able to catch up to me. I was walking so fast, I was nearly running. I turned a corner too sharply and ran into someone. I didn’t even have to look up to know it was Edward. It smelt like him, it felt like him.

I sighed, relieved. “I thought you would be outside,” I said, out of breath. I pulled on his shirt, dragging him forward with me.

“Why are you running? Are you okay?” Edward was running to catch up to me.

“Yes, let’s just go before he catches up.”

Edward and I hurried out of the building and once we were in the safety of the dark, we slowed our pace. I was nearly in tears, all of my frustration building up throughout the class. Edward walked next to me with his arm draped over my shoulders, pulling me into him. I wanted to push his arm away, but it made me feel safe, so I didn’t.

“It was awful, Edward!” I nearly screamed. “They just talked about me the entire time, made faces at me, and so on. It was like being in high school or something. I hate that he knows! I hate that the entire class probably knows now!”

Edward sighed. “I’m sorry, Bella. I guarantee you he wasn’t telling anybody what he attempted to do to you, or what I did. There’s a very tight secrecy amongst the fraternity brothers. Nobody speaks of it. Ever. Don’t let him get to you. You deserve to be there as much as he does. You just go in there and mind your own business, don’t even look in his direction. Once he realizes his immature behavior doesn’t get to you anymore, he’ll quit with the games.”

I thought Edward was right, and we walked in silence the remainder of the way to his car. Just before we reached his car, a light rain started to fall. Edward and I both looked at each other at the same time, an awkward moment passed between us. His eyes were full of sorrow and I decided to keep quite. He opened the passenger door for me and I quickly crawled inside.

When we arrived back to the apartment, Masen was already in bed. Alice greeted us briefly before heading home.

Edward and I stood uncomfortably in the entry way. It was like we were partaking in a staring contest or something. Neither one of us knew what to say. Neither one of us was willing to acknowledge that it was time for him to leave.

Edward finally broke the silence. “Are you sure you will be okay?”

I fidgeted nervously with the hem of my shirt. James knew where I lived, but surely he wouldn’t show up here. I wouldn’t allow myself to ask him to stay, so I said nothing. I let my body language speak for me.

Edward continued. “You don’t have to be alone, Bella. I’m not trying to rush you. I just want to make sure your safe. I would feel more comfortable if I stayed here. I will sleep on the couch and I promise I’ll stay out of your way.”

I knew I would rest easier knowing Edward was in the apartment with me. That made sense, and boggled my mind, all at the same time. Edward had hurt me in the past, but I knew that he would never hurt me now. If nothing else, I believed that.

“You don’t have to sleep on the couch. You can sleep in our room. I’ve been sleeping in Masen’s room.”

Edward looked down and exhaled a deep breath. “I cannot sleep in our bed, without you. I’ll stay on the couch.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I nodded my head and disappeared into Masen’s room. I was exhausted from the day and I feel asleep quickly.

I was in a park. It was a cloudy day, but it wasn’t raining. I kept feeling jolted, like someone was pushing me, but I couldn’t see them. I kept turning my head, looking for the cause. Eventually they were in front of me. James and the guy with the dreadlocks from my class. They were surrounding me. They were laughing and saying things to me, but I couldn’t understand them. I couldn’t hear. They each took turns pushing me, sometimes groping me and pulling at my clothes. I kept turning in circles, trying to find a way through them. That’s when I saw him. Edward. He was sitting on a park bench about 15 feet away. He was sitting with Masen. Masen was older, probably five or so. He was beautiful. He looked just like Edward. His hair had began to curl and I ached to touch it. I felt a strong pull at my waist and it broke me from gazing at Edward. James had removed my belt. He held it in both hands and popped it. They took turns hitting me. I continuously looked for Edward. He just sat on the bench. He looked so carefree. He nonchalantly covered Masen’s eyes from seeing what was happening to me. He made it out to be a game of peek-a-boo. “Help me!” I would scream at him, but it was as if he couldn’t hear me. I begged for James and his accomplice to stop. I took another strong hit, this one across my face. Everything went black.

I sat up in bed, gasping for air. When my eyes opened and I realized I had been dreaming, I relaxed a little bit, but still had to catch my breath. That dream, like most of my dreams, never made any sense to me. I didn’t want to be alone. Usually if I had a bad dream since Edward was gone, I would just get up and make a pot of coffee and stay awake the rest of the night. I remembered that Edward was asleep on the couch. I wondered if I was screaming in my dream.

I crawled off the bed and went to Masen. He was sleeping soundly. I suddenly regretted cutting his hair. I wondered if it would really curl the way it had in my dream. I swept the back of my hand gently across his cheek and I could’ve sworn a little smile crossed his face. I reached down and kissed his him before leaving the room.

Edward was sound asleep on the couch. He didn’t change clothes, he didn’t have a pillow or a blanket. His arms were folded across his chest. I went to our room and grabbed a pillow and blanket from the bed. I walked up to the couch, kneeling in front of him. I wanted to make him more comfortable, but I didn’t want to wake him. I was startled when his eyes suddenly opened.

“Bella? What are you doing? Are you alright?” he whispered.

I began to cry. I’m not sure why. I missed him. I missed us. I missed feeling carefree. I missed believing that my life was turning around, that everything was going to be okay.

“Bella?” Edward sat up on the couch as he reached for me. “What’s wrong, baby?”

My heart ached when he called me baby. I didn’t want him to know the real cause of my tears, so I played it off as being part of the dream.

“I just had a bad dream,” I said as I wiped the tears from my cheeks.

Edward noticed the pillow and blanket in my lap. “Did you want to lay with me?” he asked.

I shook my head. “No, I just thought you might be more comfortable with these.”

“Bella,” he reached for my hand. “I would be more comfortable with you.”

I took his hand, and joined him on the couch. He grabbed the pillow, placing it behind our heads, and he covered us with the blanket. I was pressed firmly against his chest, and I felt safe. I gripped his t-shirt tightly in my hand. “You wouldn’t help me in my dream,” I whispered into his chest. “You just watched me get hurt.”

He sighed. “Bella, why would you dream something like that? I would never stand by and watch someone hurt you.”

“I know. I don’t know why I dreamt it. Masen was with you. He was older. He was so beautiful. I wish you could have seen him. He looked just like you.” I looked up at Edward. “His hair was curly.”

Edward laughed softly. “He would be cute with curly hair.”

I agreed, and eventually fell asleep to the rhythmic beating of Edward’s heart.

***
I woke the following morning to the sounds of Masen attempting to sing. I jumped up quickly and rushed into the kitchen to check the time on the stove. I had thirty minutes to get to work.

“Crap!” I yelled. “Get up, Edward! We overslept!” I went into Masen’s room to see him standing in his crib, laughing and smiling. His smile made me take a step back, slow down, and smile.

He reached his arms out for me. “Mamma!”

I picked him up and held him tightly for a moment before putting him down. “Masen, go see who is on the couch,” I whispered.

Masen’s eyes grew large before he ran out into the living room. I followed him.

Edward was awake, but still laying on the couch. “Daddy!!!” Masen screamed loudly. Edward picked Masen up and they laid on the couch together, Masen’s arms secure around Edward’s neck. Edward pulled the blanket over them.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “We are running so late. We don’t have time for this.”

Masen giggled, ignoring me.

“Bella, go ahead and get ready. I don’t have to be in class until 10:00 a.m., I can take him to daycare.”

I sighed. I wanted to refuse. I wanted to do everything on my own. I had to prove to myself that I didn’t need Edward. It was becoming increasingly difficult. Edward and Masen stared back at me with their priceless, hopeful grins, and I couldn’t refuse them.

“Okay,” I agreed. I retreated down the hall to get in the shower. I heard Edward ask Masen, “What do you want for breakfast big guy? I’ll take you anywhere you want!” I smiled as I closed our bedroom door to get ready.

***

Later that afternoon when I had arrived back to the office after grabbing a bite to eat, I realized I had received an email from Edward on my work email. It’s been a long time since he had sent something to my work address. I clicked on the email to read it.

Bella,

I’m sorry to bother you at work, I just wanted to ask you something. Can we please arrange a time, without Masen, to sit down and talk about all the things we haven’t been talking about? I think it might help you, and me. Bella, I cannot live without you. I cannot stand seeing you unhappy. I want you to smile again. I want you to be happy. Please, let me help you. I know I’ve hurt you. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it better. I’ll answer any questions you may have. I’ll be completely honest with you. I just need you to talk to me.

I love you,
Edward

I sighed and quickly hit reply.


I don’t know what will help me, Edward. You hurt me. You broke me. I’m not sure how to get past that. At the same time, I miss you. I miss us. I miss what I thought we were before. I don’t know what is real anymore.

We can talk soon. I promise. - B

**CHAPTER 16 - CLICK HERE**

Never Think - Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20:

I awoke from my nap a few hours later and looked around, we were in the middle of nowhere.

“Where are we?” I asked.

“Somewhere between Arizona and New Mexico.” Rob rubbed his eyes.

“Are you tired? I can drive.”

He looked over at me. His eyes were red, like he’d been upset. My heart ached for him. At least I knew Izzy was mine, she came from me. I carried her inside me. Rob didn’t have that comfort.

He nodded his head in response to my question.

“Pull over.”

He did as I asked. The sun was just beginning to set in the dessert. It was beautiful, and there was no one in sight for miles. Rob and I got out of the Escalade and he almost walked past me as we met behind it. I grabbed his arm. “Hey.” He turned around to face me. “Are you okay?”

He nodded his head, but I didn’t believe him.

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck. “It will be okay.” I felt relieved when I felt his arms wrap around my waist, pulling me to him. I missed being close to him like this. He smelled so good, and I love his short hair, even though I missed my fingers tangled in his long locks. I pulled back so I could see his face. I traced his jaw line with my finger tips before kissing him. “I love you.”

He almost smiled. We saw a car coming in the distance and got back in the car.

“Just follow the GPS,” Rob said, as I adjusted my seat.

“I can do that,” I said.

Rob fell asleep quickly and I had to force myself to look at the road, rather than him. He didn’t even look peaceful when he slept. He looked tormented.

He woke a few hours later. We were nearing civilization and he began messing with the GPS system. He programed an Albuquerque hotel into it.

We arrived at Hotel Andaluz nearly an hour later. We were both exhausted and Izzy was very fussy. We got a large suite and I was looking forward to relaxing for a little while. We changed into pajamas and got Izzy a bottle while we ordered room service. Rob was still eating when I finished.

“Do you think it would be okay if I called my mom?” I asked.

“Yea, it should be fine.”

I walked into the master bedroom and called my parents.

“Hey, Mom, it’s me.”

“Oh, Kristen! Where are you? Are you okay? How’s Izzy?”

“We’re all fine. How are things there?”

“Fine, we’ve just been worried about you. We’ve been in contact with your attorney. He told me he spoke to you earlier.”

“Yea, how did that hearing go?” I asked.

“As he suspected.”

I sighed. “I don’t know what else to do, Mom. I can’t let him have her.”

“I know, baby. How is Rob?”

“Eh, he’s hanging in there I guess. He’s not really taking things well.”

“Well, you know as well as I do, that Izzy is his.”

“I know, Mom. He’s just worried.”

“Well, I thought he might be. I got something for you both, but I’ll need to know where you are, so I can get it to you.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s a DNA testing kit. You can do it yourselves and send the specimens to a lab and they will mail or email you the results in three to five days.”

“Really?? We wouldn’t have to go to a doctor?”

“Well, not exactly. This will not hold up in court, but it will give him peace of mind until you can get to a doctor.”

I gave my mom the address to the hotel and the alias names we were using. She was going to overnight the DNA testing kit to us. I told Rob, and he was excited, but nervous at the same time.

The DNA test arrived early the next morning. We read the directions a few times before finally completing the test. Izzy wasn’t happy with us sticking a cotton swab in her mouth. We put our swabs in the designated tubes and sealed up the package. We were having the results sent to my mom’s address via regular mail and email.

Rob and I decided to hide out in Albuquerque for a few more days until we got the results of the test. We weren’t going to try to make another doctor’s appointment until we knew the results. We felt like we would feel more confident about being seen out in public, knowing she was Rob’s and knowing that we had nothing to hide.

The next three days we were on pins and needles. I knew in my heart that Izzy belonged to Rob, but there was always that tiny doubt in the back of my mind. Rob and I had kept our distance over the past few days. We were both on edge and it was just better if we kept to ourselves.

We both nearly jumped off the bed when the hotel phone rang on the nightstand.

“Hello?” I answered. It was my mom.

“Kristen, I’ve got the results.”

“Wait! Let me put you on speaker phone.” I pushed the speaker phone button and hung up the receiver. “Okay.”

“Are you sure you are both ready to hear this?” she asked.

Rob and I looked at each other and nodded our heads. “Yes, stop stalling. Tell us!” I demanded.

“Rob, you are, without a doubt, Izzy’s father.”

Rob and I both exhaled a deep breath we didn’t know we were holding at the same time. I screamed loudly in excitement and Rob just looked relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Thank you, Mom! I love you!”

“Thank you, Ms. Stewart,” Rob said.

“You’re welcome, go celebrate and come home soon!”

I hung up the phone and jumped into Rob’s lap, straddling him on the edge of the bed. Our lips were dangerously close. “I told you she was yours,” I whispered.

He smiled. “I’m so glad.”

“I love you.”

His lips pressed to mine, and he kissed me like he meant it. I had missed carefree Rob so much. We finally pulled away from each other.

“Let’s go home,” he said, as we stood from the bed.

I nodded my head enthusiastically as I began packing up our things. Rob and I argued for nearly an hour about whether or not we should drive or fly back to L.A. There was no way I was sitting in a car with him and Izzy for 13 hours if I didn’t have to. I didn’t care if we were seen in public now that we knew the truth. Rob was concerned about the cameras and Izzy. He finally gave in, and we booked our flight before heading to the airport. We shipped our luggage back to L.A. with the exception of Izzy’s diaper bag.

We made it out of Albuquerque with no problems. There were a few whispers on the plane from people who must have recognized us, but it wasn’t a big deal.

We landed in Los Angeles and I was so glad to be home. I couldn’t wait to sleep in my own bed! Rob had arranged for a car to pick us up. As we neared the exit of the airport, the paparazzi began to swarm us. I held Izzy close to my chest with a blanket covering her face. Rob and I didn’t have guards with us and the paps were fierce.

At one point, one of the guys lunged towards me, pulling the blanket from me that I was using to shield Izzy. She started screaming at the top of her lungs, she hated the flashes of the cameras. I pulled the blanket back from the guy who took it, as we partook in a tug of war. Rob came over and lunged at the camera guy, nearly pushing him to the floor. An all out riot nearly began.

“Rob! Quit! Let’s go!” I pulled on the back of his shirt, begging him to stop fighting with the paparazzi. Airport security arrived and escorted us the rest of the way out. We finally made it safely inside the car.

“That is why we should have driven!” he yelled at me.

I sighed and didn’t respond to him. We didn’t even go home. We went straight to the doctor’s office. We had three more paternity tests done that we could submit to the court. Our attorney was filing a lawsuit against Michael and the doctor who performed the first test.

Since the first photos of Izzy had been captured and released now, the press was in a frenzy. Nobody believed Michael fathered Izzy. She was a mini replica of Rob, and it was obvious to everyone. For once, we didn’t mind hearing about ourselves on TV and we didn’t mind the way everyone labeled Michael a scum bag.

Three days later, Michael was sitting in jail. Izzy was sleeping peacefully, and Rob and I were celebrating at home.

We had a nice quiet dinner and I had fallen asleep on the couch next to Rob while we watched a movie. I felt him climb over me and leave the room, but I was too out of it to get up and follow him. I don’t know how long he was gone. I felt him stroking my cheek with the back of his fingers some time later.

I opened my eyes and smiled at him. “Sorry I feel asleep on you,” I mumbled.

He smiled and kissed my cheek. “I have a surprise for you. Come with me.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me from the couch.

I followed him anxiously, wondering what he was up to. We stopped in the hallway.

“Wait here for a second,” he said as he headed to the left to check on Izzy. He came back a few minutes later. “She’s sound asleep. Come on.” He took my hand again as he led me to our bedroom.

I couldn’t believe my eyes as we stepped through the doorway. The lights were off, only the ambient glow of candles lit the room. There were deep red rose petals on the floor, leading into the bathroom.

I couldn’t help but grin. I knew what was going happen and I was so excited about it! I felt the heat pooling in my center almost immediately. I grinned up at Rob, “You didn’t have to do all this just to get me in bed, you know? I would’ve come willingly,” I teased.

Rob laughed, “This is my attempt to make up for being an ass the past several days, and to show you how much I love you.”

I didn’t used to be the romantic type, but I was eating up every second of this. I missed being intimate with Rob so much, I could hardly stand it.

Rob continued his hold on my hand and we followed the rose petals into the bathroom. There was a warm bubble bath waiting on us, with rose pedals. The pedals in the tub were pink and red and they smelled amazing. I was suddenly very awake.

Rob moved behind me and slipped his hands under the hem of my t-shirt, eventually lifting it over my head. I turned to face him. “You’re getting in with me, right?” I asked as I began to remove his shirt.

“Of course I am.”

I smiled and we both pulled off our pajama bottoms and slipped into the oversized bathtub. It felt like heaven. I leaned back against Rob and I could’ve fallen asleep right there, if it wasn’t for his ever present erection in my back.

I giggled. “I haven’t felt that in a long time.”

I felt him smile against my shoulder as he trailed kisses along it and up neck, behind my ear. I couldn’t wait to take him, but not in the bath. We relaxed and leisurely kissed each other, enjoying one another for quite some time.

The water eventually turned cold and we were both getting wrinkled. Rob got out first, then helped me out, and wrapped a fluffy white towel around me. He went to the bedroom to get dressed and I stayed in the bathroom for a little while dowsing myself in lotion. I put on a little black nightgown before heading back to the bedroom. It was comfortable, and not too revealing, although it was rather short, and had a deep v-neck line.

I stepped into the bedroom from the bathroom and Rob was standing at our dresser, looking at something. He was just wearing a pair of boxers and he looked delicious. He quickly concealed whatever he was looking at when he heard me come up behind him. I ran my hands up his back, and eventually wrapped my arms around his waist. “I’ve missed you so much.”

He turned to face me. “You look beautiful.” He caressed my cheek with the palm of his hand before placing a gentle kiss on my lips and leading me to the bed.

I sat on the edge of the bed as Rob stood between my legs. He leaned down and kissed me and I nearly melted. His slow pace was agonizing. I wanted to pull him back on the bed with me and take him right away, but he wasn’t letting me. His tongue traced little patterns over my lips, and made figure eights around my ear lobe.

“Rob...” I moaned. I felt him smile against my neck. “Stop playing with me...”

Rob giggled. “This is all part of the seduction, Kristen.”

I scoffed. “I’ve been seduced since I walked in this room!” We both laughed and laid back against the bed together. I don’t know what Rob’s deal was, but he was doing everything at a snail’s pace and it was making me so hot I thought I was going to explode.

I continuously tried to gain the upper hand. If I could just reach his throbbing cock, he would fall victim to me. Rob wasn’t having it. He held my hands in his, firmly above my head as he showered every square inch of me in delicate kisses.

“Kristen...”

He said my name occasionally when he wasn’t exploring me with his tongue.

“I love you...”

I couldn’t help but grin. We had come a long away. “I love you too...” I felt his lips leave my body and I opened my eyes, to see him hovering over me, his eyes starring daggers into my own, our fingers still entwined above my head. It looked as if he wanted to say something, but he was hesitating.

“What is it?” I asked. “Let me go, I want to touch you...”

He didn’t allow our hands to separate. “Kristen, I want to spend every night, for the rest of my life, right here, like this, just loving you. You’ve given me something I never thought I would have. I love you and Izzy more than anything. I’m sorry I’ve been a jerk the past few weeks, but I’ll do better, I promise. If we can get through this, and I believe we have, we can get through anything, as long as we’re together.”

I didn’t realize I was holding my breath until I felt light headed. I exhaled and felt the tears begin to sting my eyes. I couldn’t possibly express how much I loved him.

Just I was about to speak, he kissed me. He pulled away a moment later and I tried to speak again.

“Wait...” he whispered against my lips.

And that is when I felt it, something cold and hard sliding down my finger. My ring finger.

I gasped and looked up into his heart stopping green eyes. I knew the answer before he asked. I wasn’t scared, I wasn’t worried. This felt right, like it was meant to be. It felt like it was a long time coming.

“Baby, will you make me the happiest man alive, and marry me?”

I nearly squealed. I broke my hands free from his and threw my arms around his neck, pulling him to me. I caught a glimpse of my ring as I held him to me. It was more than I could have ever imagined. It was perfect. It wasn’t too much, or too little. It was platinum and diamonds as far as you could see. There was a thin platinum band, with little round diamonds inset all around it. The setting was somewhat elevated and in the center was a beautiful round diamond that absolutely sparkled. All around the diamond, was a circular band of smaller diamonds, like the rings of Saturn, little diamonds orbiting the larger diamond in the center. It left me speechless.

“You didn’t answer me, Kristen.”

I giggled. “I was too busy admiring my ring! Of course I’ll marry you! I love you, Rob. Thank you, for everything.”

Rob kissed me and grinned from ear to ear. “You’re going to be my wifey.”

I laughed. “Can we elope? I can’t deal with planning a wedding right now.”

Rob looked up at me. “I don’t care what we do, as long as you’re Kristen Pattinson when it is all said and done.”

“I really like the way that sounds.” I took his face in my hands, pulling him too me. I kissed him over and over again, never wanting the night to end. For the first time, I had everything I had ever dreamed of, and more.


THE END.




***Author’s Note: *Tear* I’m as sad as you are that it is over, but I felt it was time. I hope you enjoyed it. I’ll still be doing other Robsten stuff...I’m just not sure what yet. Thank you all for hanging in there w/ this story!

Repentance - Chapter 14

DISCLAIMER: This story contains sensitive subject matters that may not be appropriate for everyone. If you have a sensitivity to the topic of rape, you shouldn’t read this story. It is not meant to condone rape or offend anyone, it is a fictional story. Nobody is making you read it.

CHAPTER 14:

A couple weeks had passed and while Edward and I were on more cordial terms, I wasn’t ready to let him back into my life. Rose, and I assumed Edward, kept Masen one evening when I went out with James. There was a local band playing at a bar nearby and he insisted I had to check it out with him. The band was great, but he and I both had too much to drink and we took a cab back to my place. I told him I could get home on my own, but he insisted on making sure I arrived safely. It was dark and raining, so I obliged.

We were standing outside my door. “Well, thank you for everything tonight. I had fun.”

“Me too, the night doesn’t have to end. Your kid isn’t here, right?”

Even though I was more than tipsy, little red flags went off in my head. “No, he’s not here, but I need to go get him.” I cursed myself for saying those words as soon as they left my mouth. I should’ve said something different. I had already put my key in the door and James turned the handle, letting himself in.

I walked in behind him and set my purse down near the couch. “Do you want me to call you a cab?” I asked, hinting for him to leave.

He sat down on the couch and yawned. “I’m pretty tired. I might crash on your couch.”

I laughed uneasily as he pulled me down next to him and began kissing me. He smelt like smoke and liquor. I pushed him away. “James, stop. You need to go. We’re just friends.”

James laughed. “I thought we were more than friends, Bella,” he said as one of his fingers traced my jaw, down my neck, and between the opening of my button up shirt.

I could see where this was going and I began to panic. “James, no. You need to leave.” James didn’t even flinch at my words. I took a deep breath, trying not to check out of the situation, and began to think of the best way out of it. He laid me down on the couch, his nasty hands moved all over me. I let him do what he wanted for a moment so he was distracted while I desperately dumped my purse out on the floor next to the couch. I reached around frantically for my phone. I sent Edward a text.

Help me. James is here. Hurry. - B Right as I went to hit send James knocked the phone from my hand and I nearly burst into tears because I wasn’t sure if I pushed the button or not. He grabbed both my wrists and held my hands above my head. He held both of my wrists in one hand above me. I could feel him bruising the delicate skin around my wrists.

His mouth was all over me and his free hand went up my shirt. I squirmed beneath him, but I was no match for him. “James, stop. Please.” I thought I should try some reverse psychology on him. “James, stop. Let’s go to my bed, where it is more comfortable.” That got his attention. He let go of my wrists and he began to get up from the couch. As soon as I was able, I ran for the door. I opened it, but before I could exit, he threw me back onto the couch and slammed the door shut.

I felt so stupid for not listening to Edward.

James immediately climbed back on top of me as I screamed. “Shhhh, Bella. You’ll like this, I promise. You must have enjoyed it when Edward did it. Did he do it like this?”

He pulled at the button on my jeans and struggled to pull them over my hips with one hand. I pressed myself firmly into the couch, making it even harder for him. I was not going to let this happen to me again. I couldn’t. What did he mean about Edward? How did he know? Was he there? I felt sick to my stomach as I struggled with him.

Suddenly, James looked up at me and backhanded me across the face. It stung like nothing I had ever felt before.

“Stop fighting me,” he said through gritted teeth. “I’ll make this really shitty for you if you don’t stop.”

I sobbed loudly, and gave into the realization that maybe I wasn’t going to find a way out of this. As soon as I had the thought, I pushed it away, refusing to give in. I tried to free one of my legs to knee him in the nuts long enough to get away from him, but his weight on top of me was too much.

There was blood dripping into my eye, blurring my vision. James had a football ring on that must have hit my brow bone.

He forced his hand inside my jeans and I cursed myself again for being so stupid and not listening to Edward. I realized he wasn’t trying to hurt me or control my life.

James forcefully pushed his palm between my panties and my jeans, grabbing at me. I screamed loudly, not knowing what else to do, and hoping that someone would hear me. He told me to shut up again before he began sucking on my neck, biting me, hard.

I bit my lip to keep myself from screaming. At that moment, I heard the front door burst open. Edward and Emmett. I couldn’t help but feel relieved. I was saved. I was so glad Edward didn’t come alone. He and James would’ve surely killed each other.

James growled at the disruption and Edward pulled him off me, throwing him into the adjacent wall. Emmett took care of James while Edward came to me.

He pulled me into his arms immediately and I clung to him.

“Bella, I told you...” he began.

“I know, Edward,” I cried. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

He didn’t continue, he just held me.

Emmett got rid of James, threatening to kill him if he ever so much as looked in my direction again. Emmett said he and Rose would keep Masen tonight and give Edward and I some privacy. I thanked him before he left.

Edward finally had to peel me off of him. “Bella, let me look at you. Are you okay?”

I pulled back and couldn’t see him very well for my eye. He caressed my opposite cheek. “God, Bella. He could’ve really hurt you.” His fingers traced my jaw, and down my neck. “He bit you,” Edward growled. He stood and went to the linen closet down the hall to get a wash cloth. He cleaned the blood from my eye and just above it. I had a small cut just under my right eyebrow. Edward bandaged it up and cleaned the bite on my neck with alcohol. It stung, but I was glad it was cleaning James’ disgusting germs from me.

“I want to take a shower,” I said quietly.

“Of course, Bella. I’ll get one started for you.” Edward stood from the couch.

“Edward?”

He turned to look at me. “Yes?”

“Was he there?”

Edward sighed and sat back down next to me on the couch, pulling me to him. “Bella, I’m sorry. I tried to tell you. I wanted to tell you, I just didn’t want to upset you. I didn’t think you would believe me...”

“I probably wouldn’t have,” I cried.

Edward kissed my cheek and disappeared into our bedroom and returned a few moments later. He helped me to the bathroom before leaving me alone.

**EPOV**

Hours had passed and Bella still hadn’t come out of the shower. I finally went to check on her. I knocked on the bathroom door twice. She didn’t answer.

“Bella? I’m coming in.”

When she didn’t respond, I went inside. I opened the glass door to the stand up shower and she was sitting in a little ball on the floor, the water hitting her. The water was cold and her lips were blue.

“Bella, what are you doing?” I turned the water off, as it had obviously ran cold.

I grabbed a towel and wrapped her in it, pulling her from the shower. “Bella? Your skin is like ice.”

“I don’t want to feel anything anymore,” she mumbled.

“Bella, don’t say that.” I put her down on our bed and grabbed a long sleeve t-shirt from her dresser and a pair of sweat pants and put them on her. I let her crawl under the covers and pulled them over her, tucking them in at her sides.

“Will you stay?” she whispered.

“Of course, Bella. I’m not going to leave you now.”

A weak smile displayed on her lips and she closed her eyes. I kissed her cheek gently. I changed clothes and crawled in bed next to her, wrapping my arms around her. “Is this okay?” I asked.

She nodded her head and I held her tighter, grateful that she was okay. Seeing her lying in the shower, covered in water, and cold, it reminded me of how I left her that night after I had done the unthinkable. I would never forgive myself for what I did to her. Ever. I was grateful that I was a different man today, than I was then, but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with. I had always found what I did incredibly difficult to deal with, but it was a million times more difficult to know the girl I did it to. To know that she was beautiful, innocent, and perfect in every way. To know that she gave birth to my child, and loved it and cared for it, despite believing he was the spawn of a monstrous man. It takes an incredible kind of woman to be able to do and accomplish what Bella has done. She deserved none of this and it was all my fault. She deserved to have a normal college experience, to graduate, and fall in love with a respectable man. She deserved to have children when she wanted to, not for them to be forced into her life. Bella speaking startled me from my thoughts.

“Edward?”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you. I’m sorry I doubted you.”

“It’s okay, Bella. You should never apologize to me. I am the one who is forever in debt to you. I’ll always be here for you, no matter what.”

She entwined her still cold fingers with mine and squeezed my hand before falling asleep.

***

Whatever transpired between us the night before, was long gone when Bella woke the following morning.

I woke to the sound of her gasping and releasing my hand from hers. I opened my eyes to see her staring back at me, almost frightened.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

She looked around the room momentarily, as if all the events of last night were coming back to her.

She quickly stammered out of bed. “I’m sorry, Edward.” She shook her head, looking back at me. “I didn’t mean to...we’re not...” she stumbled for words. She took a deep breath. “Thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming to my rescue last night, but it doesn’t change things between us.”

All the air left my lungs at once. All my hopes just hit a concrete wall. “Bella, you’re being irrational. Can’t we just talk about everything?”

“You don’t understand, Edward,” she said quietly.

I sat up in bed, leaning towards her. She was standing at the side of the bed. “Bella, make me understand,” I begged.

She shook her head and looked away from me, trying to fight back her tears. “I’m not ready, Edward.”

I felt crushed. I couldn’t push her anymore, not after everything that happened last night. I pulled back the sheets and climbed out of bed. “I guess I’ll head back to Rose and Emmett’s. Let me know when you’re ready for Masen.”

I didn’t wait for her response. I grabbed a few of my belongings and left the room. I could hear the soft sounds of her bare feet on the hardwood floor, she was following me. I turned to face her when I got to the door. There was nothing but confusion in her eyes. I was surprised when she threw her arms around my neck, and pulled me down to her. My arms instinctively wrapped around her small waist. I inhaled her scent and recalled how much I had missed it, how much I had missed her.

“Thank you for last night, Edward,” she whispered. I could tell she was on the verge of tears. “I don’t know how you manage to make me feel so safe and so terrified all at the same time.”

I let go of her and she pulled away from me. “You’re terrified of me?” I asked quietly.

She couldn’t keep her tears back any longer. “I’m terrified of everything, Edward. I’m terrified of what I feel for you, despite what you did to me. I’m terrified that you’re not the person I thought you were. I’m terrified to lose you. I’m terrified that every time from now on when I look into you’re green eyes, or smell alcohol on your breath, that I’ll think of that night, and remember that you were the one.”

It killed me when she said things like that. The guilt I felt was almost too much to bear. It made me physically ill. I never knew what to say to her. Sorry was not enough. There were no words for my repentance.

She wiped her eyes and took a deep breath, obviously regretting her out pouring. “We’ll talk soon, okay? I’ll try not to keep you so far away anymore, but I need time, Edward.”

I nodded my head.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like some time to myself. I’ll call you later for Masen.”

“Take all the time you need.” I leaned down and kissed her forehead. “I love you.”

She looked up at me with sad eyes and I had to turn away from her. I left our apartment with a heavy heart, wondering if I’d ever feel like I could breathe again.

**Bella POV**

I spent the entire day curled up in a ball on our bed. Our bed. It smelled like him. I felt guilty for enjoying his scent.

I eventually pulled myself up, showered, and made myself presentable. I went to retrieve Masen and was disappointed to learn that Rose and Edward had taken him for ice cream. Emmett offered to entertain me until they returned, but I declined. I decided I would meet up with Alice for an early dinner.

It was nice to spend time with Alice without Masen around. I told her about everything that happened the night before. Of course, she said she understood how I felt, but thought perhaps I should take it easier on Edward, but I wasn’t ready. I was still so hurt.

I was taking a cab home when I received a text from Edward.

Emmett told me you came for Masen. We’re home now. Do you want me to bring him up? - Edward

I responded immediately. I’m not home. I’ll be there soon. You can bring him at 7:00 p.m. -B

I arrived home a few minutes later and started some laundry while I waited on Edward and Masen to arrive. I felt like I had been in a fog the past two months and I wanted out of it so badly, but I didn’t know how to get out. The doorbell interrupted my thoughts.

I let Edward in and Masen was asleep on his shoulder. “He had a big day,” said Edward. Edward carried Masen back to his room and placed him in his crib.

I was standing in the living room waiting on him when he returned. I was torn. I was so lonely. I wanted so badly to tell him to stay, but I couldn’t.

“Can we talk?” he asked.

I nodded my head and sat down on the couch. “About what?”

Edward sat next to me. “What are you going to do?”

I assumed he was referring to James. I had given this a little bit of thought. I took a deep breath. “I’m quitting the job at the restaurant. I do need to spend more time with Masen. And, I guess I’ll just have to drop the class I have with him. At this rate, I’ll never graduate.”

“So does that mean you’ll let me help you? Financially?”

“You have already helped. You paid the rent. That’s more than enough. I don’t want anything else.”

“Fine, but you’re not dropping another class. Not because of me, this is all my fault.”

“I don’t have a choice, Edward.” I began to feel my tears sting my eyes and my throat constrict as I tried to fight them back. “I cannot sit in a classroom with him, knowing that he was there, that he saw everything and what he tried to do last night...I can’t,” I cried.

Edward sighed. “Bella, I’m so sorry, about everything. You don’t deserve any of this. Please, don’t let him win.”

“It’s not about winning, Edward. I wouldn’t feel safe. What if he followed me? I would be a nervous wreck. I don’t want to live like that anymore!” I cried.

Edward pulled me too him and held me firmly. I inhaled his scent and it relaxed me, but I wasn’t sure why. I was still mad at him.

“Let me help,” he whispered, pleadingly.

“How?” I asked.

“You only have the class with him on Thursday nights, right?”

I nodded my head.

“I’ll let the library know that I’m not available that day. I’ll take you to class and I’ll pick you up. I’ll meet you outside your classroom so you don’t ever have to walk alone.”

“You would do that?” I asked. I really didn’t want to drop that class. I needed it, and I felt like I did pretty good on the mid-term. I’d hate for it all to go to waste.

“Of course, Bella. It’s the least I could do.”

I sighed and swallowed my pride, agreeing to his offer.

Edward stood and made his way to the door and I followed him. I wished I had I the nerve to ask him to stay, but I couldn’t. I shouldn’t.

I was following too closely when he stopped and turned around suddenly, almost knocking me over.

He ignored our near mishap and caressed my cheek in the palm of his hand. My breath hitched at his intimate touch, which used to be so familiar.

“Bella, can we really not work this out? I regret what I did to you more than you’ll ever know, but at the same time, I don’t regret the outcome. I don’t regret falling in love with you. I don’t regret Masen. When I see him, I’m so grateful. He’s so beautiful, innocent and full of life. He has so much of your goodness inside him.”

“He is so much like you, though,” I whispered.

“He is both of us. He is perfect. I couldn’t imagine my son having a better mother. Please don’t keep him from me.”

“I won’t, Edward. I won’t anymore. I’m sorry. He needs you.”

He kissed my forehead. “Thank you. I’ll see you Thursday.”

I nodded my head and watched him walk out the door, feeling like he was taking a part of me with him.

**CHAPTER 15 - CLICK HERE**

Never Think - Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19:

Over the next month, life was like a fairy tail. I was constantly sleep deprived, but it was worth it. Rob and I enjoyed watching Izzy so much. Every time she did something new, we were so excited. Rob could always make her crack a smile, and it was beautiful. I guess Rob and I were pretty naive to think things would remain so perfect.

It was almost a month later when the first signs of trouble began. It started with a call from our lawyer.

Michael had petitioned the court for an order requiring a paternity test for Izzy. I guess Michael decided Rob could kick his ass, so he hired a lawyer to do things the right way. Our attorney and Michael’s attorney submitted an agreed order. I had no problem with a paternity test because I knew Rob was her father.

Our attorneys mutually agreed on a doctor to do the test. We had it done almost two weeks later. The doctor said he would send us each a copy of the results by mail within the next week.

Needless to say, when Rob came in with the mail the following week, neither one of us jumped to open the envelope from the doctor.

I had just fed Izzy and Rob was in the nursery with her getting her ready for a nap. I was cleaning up the kitchen when I came across the stack of mail at the end of the breakfast bar. I opened a few miscellaneous bills before I came to the envelope from the doctor who did the paternity test. I sipped my diet coke as I opened it and began reading. I wasn’t sure I was reading it correctly. I read the same two sentences over and over.

The probability of Michael Angarano being biologically related to Isabella Jules Pattinson is greater than 99.9%. The probability of Robert Pattinson being biologically related to Isabella Jules Pattinson is 0%.

I dropped the glass I was holding. It shattered on the tile floor beneath me.

“Kris? Are you okay?” I heard Rob yell from the back of the house.

I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t speak. It felt like my world just caved in. Rob would be devastated. Izzy was his pride and joy. Tears poured uncontrollably over my cheeks and on to the floor. I knelt down to try to clean up my mess. Rob entered the room.

“What happened? Are you okay? Why are you crying?”

I stopped moving. I couldn’t look at him.

“Kristen?” His voice was shaking. He knew. He grabbed the now Coca-Cola stained paper from beside me and read it.

After he read it, he crumbled it up in his hand and threw it across the room. “That’s not true!” he yelled. “It’s not true!”

He stormed off back towards the nursery, closing the door.

A while later, I eventually picked myself up off the floor and called our attorney. Michael’s attorney had already requested temporary visitation rights until we could come to an agreement or go to trial.

“Can they not at least be supervised visits? He cannot be alone with her!” I begged.

“They won’t agree to that, and neither will the judge. He has no criminal record or documented history of a psychological condition.”

“But what about what he did to me? That doesn’t count for anything? There are records of me being in the hospital in Vancouver...”

He cut me off. “You refused to tell them who did it, there’s no report, nothing that will stand up in court. It’s your word against his.”

I cried. “How long do we have?”

“The judge will hear the motion tomorrow and grant an order with temporary visitation, unless we come to an agreement beforehand.”

“What is he asking for?”

“An equal share. 50/50. He’d have her Wednesday morning through Saturday afternoon and you and Rob would have her Saturday evening through Wednesday morning.”

I gasped. “There’s no way in hell I’d agree to that. She’s barely two months old! She needs me!”

“I’m sorry, Kristen. However, due to her age, the judge probably won’t grant him that much time. I’ll be in touch with you tomorrow after the hearing and let you know how it goes.”

I got off the phone and paced the floor back and forth wondering what to do. Rob and I had to be back in Vancouver in two months to start filming Eclipse. How would all of this work out?

I told Rob what the attorney said. He didn’t like it. “That is fucking bullshit. He’s not getting near her. That test isn’t right!” He was screaming at me.

“You don’t have to fucking yell at me!” I screamed back.

Izzy was in her swing nearby and she started crying.

Rob continued. “I’m pissed off because you’re taking this at face value! Don’t you get it, Kristen? This can’t be right. Look at her for god sakes!” He pointed at a red faced Izzy screaming at the top of her lungs in her swing. “She looks just like me,” he said more softly. “She’s mine. She has to be.”

I started crying too. I picked Izzy up and tried to calm her down. Rob was right, she did look just like him. But the test results say differently. I didn’t know what to do.

“Well, we will just have another test done. We’ll go to our own doctor. But, in the meantime, do you think I should sweet talk him? Maybe pretend that I believe the results and that he and I should be together for her sake. That way, when he has time with her, I could be with him. I can’t stand the thought of leaving him alone with her.”

“I’m not letting you do that. That’s disgusting, Kristen. Is that what you want?”

“No!” I cried. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her alone with him. If it means I have to kiss his ass and lie through my teeth, I will!”

Rob and I argued the remainder of the night about what to do. I slept in our bed. He never joined me. I found him the following morning in the guest room, asleep. Izzy was sleeping on his chest. I took her from him, and as soon as I lifted her from his chest, his eyes flew open.

“What are you doing?” he growled.

“I thought you were asleep. I was going to get her a bottle. I didn’t want you to roll over on her.”

I didn’t wait for his response. Izzy and I left the room. I fed and bathed Izzy that morning while Rob locked himself in the office. I didn’t know what he was doing; I didn’t care at the time.

I was in the living room later that day with Izzy when Rob came running through to the garage.

“I’m going out. I’ll be back in a minute.” The door slammed behind him.

I sighed and put Izzy in her swing and wandered off to the office to see if he left any evidence behind as to what he was doing. There was none. I went to our bedroom and nearly lost my lunch when I saw an open suitcase on the bed with his clothes in it. Tears immediately filled my eyes and I began to panic.

The phone rang. It was our attorney. An order had been granted. We were to meet Michael at a local grocery at 5:00 p.m. the next day. He would have two nights with Izzy before returning her, and he would get to see her again on the weekend.

I got off the phone and sat in the floor near my bed and cried. Rob was leaving me, and Michael was taking my baby. I almost felt sick. I heard Rob come in through the garage and I went to meet him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did you talk to the attorney? How long do we have?”

“Please don’t leave us,” I whispered.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked as he threw his keys down on the table.

“Your suitcase...”

“Oh, no.” He walked over to me and embraced me. “Baby, no. I’m not leaving you. I didn’t mean for it to look like that. I packed one for all of us, yours is in our closet.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

He sighed. “How long do we have?” he asked again.

“We have to turn her over to him tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.”

Rob cursed under his breath and left me, heading towards our bedroom. I followed after him.

“Would you please tell me what the fuck you’re up to?”

“I’m not letting him have her,” he said as he continued throwing things into his suitcase. “We’re leaving.”

“I don’t understand. Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere but here. We’re not meeting him tomorrow. Nobody can know where we are. Leave your cell phone here.” He continued spitting out orders.

“Rob, we can’t do that. We’ll get in so much trouble.”

“I don’t care!” he screamed. “She’s my daughter. I don’t give a damn what that piece of paper says. He is up to something. He’s altered that test somehow. Who knows what he’d do to her in our absence. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he hurt her, knowing I willingly handed her over to him.”

I was still crying. I was scared. I was down right terrified. I didn’t want Michael anywhere near Izzy. I wiped quickly at my tear stained sheets, trying to get myself together. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Rob pulled me into hug. “Thank you.”

I nodded my head and we continued packing our bags. I packed a large bag for Izzy and enough formula and diapers for a week. I had no idea how long we would be gone. I’d run forever if it meant Michael could never hurt her.

Once everything was ready I walked into the kitchen with Izzy to see Rob sitting at the table counting large amounts of cash.

“Did you rob a bank while you were out?”

He laughed. “No, but I did withdraw a lot of money. They won’t be able to trace us this way. Call your parents, tell them we’re going away for a while and you’ll explain later. You won’t be able to contact them.”

I sighed and did as he asked, wondering momentarily what the hell I was getting myself in to.

We gathered our things I went to open the door leading to the garage before Rob stopped me.

“The car is out front,” he said as a matter of fact.

“Oh.” I went and opened the front door. There was a large black Escalade in our circle drive. “Please tell me you didn’t buy that.”

“Not exactly. We couldn’t take our own cars. We can’t fly. I thought this would be more comfortable.”

“Right.” I said, stepping off the porch towards the vehicle, wondering if he had done this before.

***

We had been driving for hours. “Where are we going exactly?”

“I don’t know. We’ll find a hotel soon.”

I yawned and went back to sleep. About a half hour later he was waking me up. “I’m going to check in, stay here.”

I sat up and looked around. We were outside the Ritz-Carlton in Phoenix, Arizona. I stretched and checked on Izzy. She was getting fussy. I waited anxiously for Rob to return. He did so a few minutes later and he got our things and we headed up to our room.

As soon as we got settled in, I began making Izzy a bottle.

“I’m going to run some errands. I’ll be back.”

I turned around to see Rob wearing a dark colored hoodie and heading towards the door. I wanted to say goodbye, but he was gone before I got my mouth open.

He returned nearly an hour later with several bags from a local drug store.

“What is all that?” I asked.

“Stuff we may need.”

I watched as he dumped the bags of stuff onto the bed. Hair color, a hair trimmer, wigs, and various other miscellaneous things.

“Wow, you are really serious.”

“I don’t want to be recognized. I bought red for you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Hair color. Red, for you.”

“Okay, number one, I’m not dying my hair from a box, and number two, I’m not dying it red.”

“Then why don’t you just go back to L.A.?” he said, turning to go into the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the box of red hair coloring. I heard him turn on the hair trimmer in the bathroom and my heart stopped beating.

“Nooo!” I yelled as I got up and ran to the bathroom. It was too late. Rob’s beautiful bronze locks were already beginning to fall to the floor. He didn’t even acknowledge my disappointment. I pouted and went back to the bed.

I looked up when he re-entered the room. I opened my mouth to start complaining but no words came out. He looked fucking hot. We hadn’t had sex since before Izzy was born. I had the all clear from my doctor, but I just didn’t feel like myself yet. Not that Rob was begging for it or anything. We were both too tired to give a damn.

“What?” he asked.

I desperately tried to close my mouth. “Nothing.”

He shook his head at me and laid down on the bed, facing away from me.

“So...we’re just trapped in here?”

“Yes,” he responded.

I sighed and began flipping through a magazine. Rob was being such a prick.

I eventually threw the magazine at his back. He grumbled. “I’m bored,” I complained.

“Well, watch TV or something. Izzy should be up soon.” Izzy was sound asleep in her car seat near by.

I groaned. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had sex?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled it. “A long time.”

“My doctor said I was good to go two weeks ago,” I said quietly.

“That’s good,” he mumbled.

I picked the magazine up from his back, rolled it up and hit him over the head with it. “What the hell is your problem? You’re being an ass. Do you not want me anymore?”

He propped himself up on his elbows and turned to look at me. “Oh for god sakes, Kristen. Of course I want you. Don’t be stupid. However, my mind is currently focused on other things besides my personal satisfaction, or yours.”

I blew out a deep breath I was holding and told myself I wasn’t going to cry. I laid down and rolled over, facing away from Rob. Silence fell between us for quite some time. He finally sighed and I heard him turn to face me, but I didn’t turn around to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “You just don’t know what it’s like,” he said quietly.

I turned and looked at him over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“To think that Izzy isn’t mine, you don’t know what that’s like. She’ll always be yours.”

I sat up and stared at him. “She’ll always be yours too,” I said sternly.

“But what if she isn’t? What if the test is right.”

“You said you would love her, even if she wasn’t yours, because she was a part of me,” I said softly, not looking at him.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t love her, Kristen. I love her more than anything in the world, but I thought she was a beautiful and innocent miniature version of myself, but the thought of sharing her with him, it makes me sick.”

I looked over at Izzy. She was so peaceful as she slept, so care free, so immune to our problems. She belonged to Rob, there was no doubt about it when you looked at her.

“She’s yours,” I said. “Look at her. She’s a perfect blend of you and me.” I turned to look at him and grabbed his hand. “That’s why we’re here. We’re not sharing her with him.”

He nodded his head. “I was just trying to get you to understand where I was coming from.”

“I know.” I teared up and looked away from him. “If I wasn’t such an idiot back then, I wouldn’t be putting any of us through this.”

“What do you mean?” Rob asked, sitting up next to me.

“If I wasn’t screwing around with both of you,” I barely whispered.

“You can’t blame yourself for this. It’s all his fault.”

I sighed. “How long do we do this? How long do we run away? We have to be in Vancouver in two months. What about our careers?”

“Fuck my career, I don’t care. But, it won’t come to that. It will work out. Tomorrow we’ll work on finding another doctor to do another paternity test.”

I nodded my head and curled up next to him. We napped while Izzy was still sleeping.


Rob was up early with Izzy the following morning. I was trying to sleep in but he seemed to be making a fair bit of noise. He was flipping through pages of a phone book and making phone calls. I groaned. “Do we have to do it, like, right now?” I asked.

“Well we have to make sure we can get it done this afternoon, before they realize we’re not showing up at 5:00 p.m. and start looking for us.”

I sighed. “Okay.” I rolled out of bed and played with Izzy for a few minutes before heading to the bathroom to shower. I noticed the red hair coloring on the vanity. I read the directions and decided it couldn’t be that difficult. I could always change it later. I mixed the coloring and stood in front of the mirror to apply it. I wasn’t graceful. It was all over me. Those stupid plastic gloves were too big for my small hands and I was just making a mess. I anxiously waited the 13-17 minutes it suggested. I got pretty antsy around minute 13. I mean, how are you supposed to know when it’s done? Thirteen minutes and 17 minutes is a pretty big stretch. My hair still looked brown to me, with a bunch of orange goo on top. I decided I’d let it go for 15 minutes. When time was up, I got in the shower. It was so weird to see all the coloring come out of my hair and make the water orange. It took forever to get it all out and off of my skin.

I didn’t really see a big difference until I dried my hair. I examined myself in the mirror for quite some time before deciding that I liked the way it looked. It certainly wasn’t the color on the box, but I was okay with that. It was a reddish-brown color, with a little more red tones than brown. It was enough to be different, but not so drastic that it didn’t blend with my skin tone.

My hair was getting kind of choppy and uneven so I took a pair of scissors to it, shortening it by a couple inches and giving it a straighter finish. I was unusually satisfied with the results.

I emerged from the bathroom after getting dressed. Rob was sitting at the desk feeding Izzy a bottle, his back to me. “Were you in there long enough?” he joked. “I ordered us breakfast. Yours is getting cold.”

“Turn around,” I demanded softly.

He turned around in his chair and looked up at me. His eyes grew large. “Wow. Did you do that all by yourself?”

I twirled around in a circle so he could see the shorter length in the back. “Yup! What do you think?”

“I actually really like it! I can’t believe you did that on your own.”

I smiled. “Me either. I like it too!” I sat down at the nearby table and dug into my breakfast.

The only appointment Rob could get us for a paternity test was the following day. We used fake names to schedule the appointment, but we’d have to use our real ones once we arrived. The press was going nuts for a picture of Izzy. They knew as well as anyone else that the timing of everything was questionable. They didn’t know if the baby was Rob’s or Michael’s either. They finally came to the conclusion that Michael and I were no longer together and Rob and I were.

The following day we headed to our appointment. We made our way inside without being noticed. Fortunately, there was only one other person in the waiting room and she had to be pushing 80 years old. She probably couldn’t even see us. Rob was sitting with Izzy when I went up to the reception window to return the clipboard with our information on it. The receptionist was turned away in her chair on her cell phone.

“You are not going to believe this. I’m like, 90% sure Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are here, with the baby. They’re getting a paternity test!” she tried to whisper.

I cleared my throat and she turned around quickly. I reached over the counter and pulled the phone from her ear, launching it across the room. It hit the adjacent wall and fell to pieces. The girl looked at me with big eyes. I took the piece of paper from the clipboard and folded it, putting it in my pocket.

“We won’t be keeping our appointment.” I pushed the clipboard towards her and turned around to see Rob had watched the entire thing play out.

“Let’s go,” I demanded.

We headed back outside and got in the car.

“Kristen, you have to be more careful. You can’t just go throwing people’s phones.”

“Fuck her! She doesn’t need to be telling our business. This will never work if we have to interact with stupid people like that!”

Rob sighed. “I know, we’ve got to find something more exclusive, somewhere we can disappear.”

“We need to get out of Phoenix. It’s only a matter of time now...” I trailed off.

Rob grabbed my hand and kissed it. “We’ll get our stuff and leave right away. Everything will be fine.”

We packed our stuff up as soon as we got back to the hotel and headed out. When we were outside of Phoenix a little ways we stopped and I used a pay phone for the first time ever. I didn’t think they even made those anymore. I called our attorney to see what was going on.

He was furious that we ran. I didn’t tell him where we were. He said we were in contempt of court for disregarding the Order and there was a hearing later this afternoon. There would likely be warrants for our arrest by the end of the day. I told him the paternity test had to be wrong, that Michael had to of messed with it somehow. I asked him if we would still be in trouble if we had a paternity test showing otherwise. He said we’d deal with that, if and when we had proof. As of now, we look guilty, because we ran.

I was a complete mess when I got back in the car. Rob was in the backseat changing Izzy’s diaper.

“We are fucked!” I screamed.

“Why?” Rob asked, nonchalantly.

I scoffed and proceeded to tell him everything our attorney told me. “This is not good, Rob.” I started to panic. “What if she is his...and he tries to get full custody of her, saying that we are not fit, that we’re criminals!”

“Kristen! Calm down. You’re over reacting!” Rob got Izzy dressed and put her back in her car seat. She sucked on her pacifier, without a care in the world. Rob got back in the car and we started driving.

“It’s not a big deal. We just have to remain unseen until we can get the paternity test.”

“I think I’m going to be sick. What have we done?” I asked, looking at him warily.

“We’re protecting our daughter. We’ve done nothing wrong.”

I sighed and reclined my seat. I curled up on my side and fell asleep, too exhausted to stay awake and over analyze everything.


***Author’s Note: *ducks head* sorry this took so long to get posted. I *think* there is only going to be one more chapter after this one, and then the story will end. I’d be interested in doing another R/K fic, but everything seems to have already been done and over done in some cases, so I’m having a difficult time coming up w/ something. Suggestions? Send them to AllOrNothingKR@gmail.com

Repentance is still hanging in there...and I have a new AH/AU Bella/Edward fic in the works that is rather ... promiscuous? And x-rated. It is called What Wicked Games We Play and the 1st chapter will be out sometime this summer (I don’t like commitment). It has very adult themes, deals with sex, addiction, friendships lost, life, death, after death...and yes, I will be pushing the envelope. :)

**CHAPTER 20 - CLICK HERE**