Never Think - Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

I knew from the moment I heard him speak at the audition that I was going to get in trouble. Now, almost two years later, I believe it more than ever.

I love Michael, but I cannot deny whatever it is that is going on between Rob and I. We clicked from day one. We have spent an insurmountable amount of time together since the audition. There is no denying his good looks and quirky charm. When he smiles at me, a fire starts in my heart, and I have to catch my breath. I love the way his mouth moves, the way you can read his face and tell he is deep in thought. He thinks about everything he says before he says it. I find myself hanging on his every word.

He has been aggressively pursuing me for the past two years, but until recently I had never let my guard down. I had been true to Michael. I do love him. I really do care about him. However, there is a part of me that yearns for Rob, and that part of me is getting stronger and stronger and I'm not sure if I can control it anymore.

I saw him and his new co-star from another movie he just filmed, flirting at a live music venue. A lot of us had gone there to see Rob’s friend’s band playing. I mean, girls are always all over Rob, but this one was different. He was paying attention to her. He was paying her a lot of attention in my opinion. It was like I wasn’t even there. It hurt, a lot. But what could I do? He’s single and I’m in a relationship.

I hardly spoke to him for a week following that night. I tried to really focus on spending time with Michael, but when I was kissing Michael, all I could think about was what it would be like if Rob kissed me – off the set. I think Michael is really starting to wonder what is going on. I am not myself around him anymore. I am consumed with wondering what Rob is doing and who he is with.

Rob knew I was mad at him, but he didn’t know why. He had been blowing up my phone with calls and text messages, but I let them go unanswered.

Our short break was over and the filming of New Moon was set to resume in Vancouver tomorrow morning, so I will have to face him soon.

We somehow managed to be on separate flights, but we arrived at our hotel at the same time. The sun was just setting in Vancouver and the rest of the night we were free to do what we wanted, as long as we were on set by 7:00 a.m.

Rob was ahead of me in a black Lincoln Town Car, just like mine, that the production company provided for us to get to and from the airport. I chose to wait behind the dark tinted windows of my car, while his driver unloaded his bags. I didn’t want Rob to know I was there yet.

When he disappeared inside the hotel, I left the safety of the backseat of my town car. I retrieved my bags from the driver and headed inside. I didn’t have to check-in, we still had the same rooms we had the last week we were here. I stepped off the elevator on the 10th floor and went to the right, towards my room, not even looking in the other direction.

“Hello.” I heard him say hesitantly.

I turned around to see Rob and his bags outside his hotel room door; he was just about to go inside.

Crap! I thought. He caught me. “Uh…Hey.” I said. I didn’t know what else to say. He makes me speechless.

“I know you are mad at me about something, but I am not sure what it is.”

I didn’t speak. I didn’t want to have it out with him right here in the hallway.

He broke the silence. “Um…I was hoping after you got settled in that maybe we could talk.”

I shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly. “Uh…yea, sure, whatever. Just stop by my room later.”

“Okay, I will do that.” He disappeared behind his door.

I rushed into my room and threw my bags down. I grabbed my make-up bag and ran into the bathroom to attempt to make myself look somewhat attractive.

Only moments later I heard a knock at the door. It was his knock. It was our knock. Two light taps and a pound with your fist. We were both sort of loners and often times we would ignore people knocking at our doors if we wanted to be left alone. We created our knock so we could discern the difference between each other and our other cast mates or hotel staff.

What the hell?? I thought. It’s been like two minutes! I look awful! I only have eye liner on one eye! I turned on the water and quickly tried to wash away the evidence of the eye liner. Ugh! Now my eyes are red; I look like I’ve been crying! Damn it!

He knocked again. My heart skips a beat every time I hear that knock. “Just a minute!” I yelled. I dried my face with a hand towel and ran to the door, swinging it open. “I thought you were going to give me time to get settled?” I asked.

“Um… yea." He looked down, avoiding my eyes, and bit his lip nervously. "Well, I guess I was anxious.”

I just stared at him not knowing what to say.

“May I come in?” He asked.

“Oh! Yes, sorry, come in.” I stood back and held the door open for him to enter. I felt stupid for just standing there blocking the doorway.

We both went and sat down on the edge of the bed. We didn’t speak for a while. I didn’t know how to start the conversation. I wasn’t even sure of what to say to him, or what I even wanted out of this.

“So, what did I do Kristen?” He finally said.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Well, you were awfully friendly with Sarah last week at the concert.” I said it accusingly, but I didn't mean for it to come out that way.

“So? Sarah and I are friends, we have worked together, you know this.” Robert looked at me as if he was confused.

“Well,” I crossed my arms and looked away from him. “It looked like you were being more than friends to me.”

Robert laughed. “Is that what this is about??” His tone turned more serious. “This is about me being too flirty with the ladies?” He asked. “I’m single Kristen. I only asked you a million times to change that, but you refused. I have to at least attempt to move on! I cannot keep hoping that one day you will change your mind and give me a chance.”

I turned to look him in the eyes. “What if I did change my mind?” I said seriously.

He looked down. “I don’t know if I would believe you. We have been through this before. You always go back to Michael.” Rob said, defeated.

My heart sank when he said his name. Michael. It would kill me to hurt him. He had been so incredibly good to me over the last few years. He didn’t deserve this, but I did want to be with Rob, I had to be. I had to know what it was like. I took a deep breath. It was now or never. I leaned over and didn’t hesitate. I pressed my lips firmly to his. His lips parted and before I knew it, he was kissing me back. I kissed him harder; I had wanted this for so long. I wanted to remember it. I wanted to remember how his lips felt, how he smelled, how he tasted, and how his arms instinctively wrapped around me. His lips were incredibly soft and gentle. I loved the way his stubble felt against the delicate skin around my lips. I slipped my tongue into his mouth, desperately seeking his own. We had kissed many times on set, but never like this. His tongue found mine immediately. It was cold, wet and slick. Our tongues momentarily danced a delicate dance until I pulled his bottom lip between mine, sucking on it gently before finally pulling away from him, breathless.

I gently grazed my thumb across my bottom lip, wiping away the moisture. I looked him straight in the eyes and asked, "Do you believe me now?"

**CHAPTER 2 - CLICK HERE**