Never Think - Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

I finally pulled away. “Do you believe me now?” I asked, breathing heavily.

Robert didn't say anything for a minute. He just stared at me, with his mouth hanging open. "Rob?"

For a second my heart stopped beating, thinking maybe this was all a mistake. He had already moved on, he was no longer interested in me.

He finally spoke. "Um, I’m not sure if I believe you yet." He tried to say seriously.

I sighed in defeat. I wanted to run to the bathroom and slam the door and cry like a baby. Tears were stinging my eyes. I didn’t know what else to do to show him that I wanted him.

He sensed my uneasiness. “Kristen, um, I mean I think I need you to keep going, in order to really convince me.”

I caught my breath. He was playing with me. He wanted more. I smiled inside and my eyes met his.

He gently pushed me back down on the bed. His lips met mine in a heated kiss. There was something about him that just drove me crazy. I couldn't get enough; I couldn't get close enough to him. His hands started to wander all over my body. My hands were moving all over him. I had him undressed in record time, yet it still didn't seem fast enough. I wanted to feel his skin next to mine, I wanted all of him, I wanted to know that he was mine now, and nobody else's.

I had never been with anyone other than Michael, so I didn't have much to compare it to, but Robert put Michael to shame. I felt things happen inside my body that I had never felt before. Rob and I lay there, breathless next to each other. I didn't want him to speak. I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and let the night be perfect.

And then he ruined my moment. "Kris, I still have some questions."

"About what?" I said, trying to sound tired.

"What about Michael? Did you break up with him?"

"Not yet." I said. "But I fully intend to. I don't want to do it over the phone." My voice started shaking. I couldn't bare the thought of hurting Michael. I didn't want to talk about it. Not now.

"Why didn't you do it last week, I know you were with him."

"I don't know. I just couldn't. I wasn't sure of my decision then, but I am now. I didn’t have this planned. I mean, it’s been in the back of my mind for a while, and when I saw you with Sarah last week, it killed me. I want to be with you Rob. We can't pretend anymore. We’ve both known the direction our friendship was going."

"Well, speak for yourself, but I had no idea that by knocking on your door tonight, it would lead to this." He laughed.

"Are you disappointed?" I asked, teasingly.

Robert smiled. "Absolutely not. I am pleasantly surprised actually."

I couldn’t help but grin. "Me too."

Somehow his lips found their way to mine in the dark room. I could feel his grin against my lips and it made me smile. My entire body relaxed and the world seemed right. I felt at such peace when he was kissing me, like I had everything I ever wanted in life.

He used his lips to explore my neck and collar bones. His kisses were feather light and gentle. His delicate touches sent a shiver through my body, as if my body could sense what was about to happen, because at that very moment, it happened.

My cell phone rang. It was obnoxiously loud, but that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was that it was Michael calling. I knew it was Michael because of the ring tone – Shania Twain’s “You’re Still the One.” I felt blood rush to my checks. I was so embarrassed. I mean, that’s not the kind of song you would expect to hear coming from my cell phone. Rob froze.

You’re still the one I run to, the one that I belong to. You’re the one I want for life. You’re still the one that I love, the only one I dream of. You’re still the one I kiss goodnight…

It had only been ringing a few seconds, but hearing those words and knowing they were referring to Michael, it seemed like an eternity. Even if I told him, Rob would never believe me. I only assigned that ring tone to Michael as a way of trying to convince myself that he was “still the one”.

Rob finally broke the silence. “Um, do you need to get that?”

“Uh, yea, I probably should.”

Rob rolled off of me and grabbed my phone off the nightstand. He glanced at the caller id. “My Baby” was all it said. I could nearly see the bile rising to his throat.

“It’s Michael isn’t it?” He said, as he handed me the phone.

“Yea, I’m sorry, it will only take a minute.” I felt horrible about having to take the call, but Michael would know something was up if I didn’t answer. I pulled the sheet off the bed with me and wrapped it loosely around my bare body, not wanting to give Rob a full view of my backside while on the way to the bathroom. I closed the door for privacy and answered the phone.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Hey baby!” Michael responded. He sounded excited to talk to me. It only made my heart ache more.

“Hey Mike! What’s going on?” I asked, trying to sound excited to hear from him too.

“Oh nothing, just waiting for you to call. I thought you were going to call me when your flight landed?”

“Oh, uh…” Crap! I completely forgot. “...well I ran into Nikki as soon as I got to the hotel and we were just catching up. It slipped my mind, but I’m here, the flight wasn’t bad at all.” I wasn’t a good liar, I hoped he couldn’t tell.

“Oh okay, well I was just starting to worry about you.” He said sincerely.

I sighed. I didn’t know what to say. I felt like the worst person on the planet. Here I am shacking up with the man of my dreams and my loving boyfriend is at home waiting for my call. “So, how was your day?” It was all I could come up with.

“It sucked, you weren’t here.”

God, is he trying to make me feel guilty! I am an actress; I can do this! I was trying to pump myself up and get finished with the phone call. “Aw, baby I know, I missed you today too.”

“Yea, the next few months are going to blow. But hey, I’ve got some time next month, I was thinking maybe I could come up to Vancouver to see you.”

Oh no! “Uh, yea, I mean, there won’t be much to do. I think I’m scheduled like 12 to 14 hours a day, but we should be able to work something out.” I lied.

“Well, even if it’s only sleeping in the same bed, it’s better than not seeing you at all.”

Tears stung my eyes. I was a horrible girlfriend. This was going to be harder than I thought. “Yea, you’re right Mike, I’ll miss you as my body pillow.” I laughed. “But hey uh, listen, Nikki is waiting on me, so I need to get going. I call you later okay?” I had to get off the phone before I completely lost it, and made this whole thing even harder on myself.

“Okay, I love you Kris. I miss you.”

Damn it! I thought. There was no way around it though. I prayed Rob couldn’t hear me. “I love you too baby, I’ll talk to you later.”

We hung up. I grabbed my sheet which I had let fall to the floor as soon as the door was closed. I walked back towards the bed when I saw Rob and stopped dead in my tracks. He was almost completely dressed, and was putting on his shoes, standing to leave. He heard me.

“Where are you going?” I asked frantically. “Don’t leave.”

“I don’t think I can do this Kristen. It’s not right, and quite frankly, I’m appalled by your ability to pretend to be in love with two guys at the same time.”

I nearly choked. Ouch. I thought. Tears welled up in my eyes, and this time there was no stopping them from pouring over. “Rob…” I said his name, but I had no idea what else to say. I mean, what do you say to that? I did love Michael, but I’m not in love with him.

His expression softened, probably due to the amount of tears pouring down my checks. “Look Kristen, you say you want to be with me, but you’re telling him you love him. I’m completely confused and it’s a bit of a mind fuck. I don’t know what’s going on and I don’t want to get hurt.”

I was still speechless. It felt like everything was falling apart around me. I had never given much thought of how this must look to Rob. I never thought of myself as a cheater, but I guess that is exactly what I was.

Rob broke eye contact with me and walked to the door. He put his hand on the door knob and stopped. He turned around, but didn’t look me in the eyes, instead he kept his head down. “If you’re so quick to cheat on Michael, why should I believe you wouldn’t do the same to me?” He didn’t wait for a response. He opened the door, and was gone.

I literally fell apart, into pieces, right there in the middle of my room. I wrapped myself up in my sheet and got in bed. I cried so hard I thought I would be sick. He thinks horribly of me now. What am I going to do? How will I get through tomorrow?

After I had calmed down I tried to call Rob, but he wouldn’t answer his phone. I would’ve gone to his room, but it was too risky. I was afraid he wouldn’t answer the door and I would be left there in the hallway looking pathetic.

I was thankful that I wasn’t filming any scenes with Rob tomorrow. I don’t think I could get through it. I finally fell asleep, with nothing resolved.

The next day when my alarm went off, far too early, I was glad I didn’t have to do anything to make myself look presentable. For once, I was grateful for hair and make-up.

I knew Rob probably had to be on set at the same time I did, and I was praying I wouldn’t run into him in the hotel. I peaked out of my door to make sure the hallway was clear. I headed to the elevator, I heard it ding, so I picked up my pace, trying to catch it. I rounded the corner to see the doors closing, and Rob standing there inside the elevator, looking right at me. He didn’t even attempt to stop the doors from closing.

I nearly burst into tears right then.

“Good Morning!” I heard a cheerful voice behind me.

It was Ashley. I turned to face her. “Hey,” I said, trying to keep my eyes down.

“Were you planning on standing here all day, or were you going to push the down button?” Ashley laughed as she reached around me to push the button that summoned the elevator. As she leaned back up it was obvious she caught a glimpse of my flushed face and red eyes. “Oh, I’m sorry Kristen. What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yea, um, I’m fine.” I rubbed my eyes. “It’s just allergies I think.” I was on the verge of a complete meltdown. The elevator dinged and the doors opened. Ashley got on first and I hesitated. “Uh, you know, I’m just going to go back to my room for a minute and grab some tissue. I’ll see you downstairs okay?” I didn’t wait for her reply. I turned and practically ran to my room. Once behind the safety of the door I fell apart. Again. My back leaned against the door and I slid down it, cradling my head in my hands. There was no way I was going to make it through the day if I had to see Rob, even it was from a distance.

Ashley saw Rob outside waiting for the limo to take everyone over to the set.

“Hey.” Ashley said walking up next to him.

“Hey Ashley.”

“Do you know what’s wrong with Kristen this morning?”

Rob hesitated. “Um, no I don’t. I haven’t seen her this morning.”

“Oh.” Ashley thought it was strange that Rob wouldn’t know what was going on with Kristen. The two were practically glued at the hip during filming. “Well, I just ran into her upstairs, she looked a mess, like she had been crying. She said it was allergies, but I don’t believe her.”

Rob felt awful. He didn’t mean to upset her so badly, he was just hurt and confused. “Where is she now?” Rob asked.

“She went back to her room, she said to get tissue.”

The limo arrived and everyone piled in. The cast members that were going to the set were supposed to be there for the limo to take them over at exactly 6:30 a.m. It was now a quarter till 7:00 and everyone was inside the limo, waiting on Kristen.

“God what is she doing?” Nikki barked.

“Yea, Rob, where is she?” Taylor asked.

“Why does everyone think I should know where she is? I don’t know where she is. I haven’t seen her.” Rob said, annoyed.

Taylor thought that was very off. It wasn’t like Rob to not know what was going on with Kristen, everyone knew he hung on her every word.

“Well, I better go check on her.” Taylor said as he climbed over Jackson and Nikki to get out of the car.

I hadn’t moved an inch when I heard the knock on the door. It wasn’t our knock. I reached up and turned the handle to unlock the door and I just sat there, whoever it was could push me out of the way if they really wanted in. That’s exactly what they did.

“Kris? It’s me, Taylor. Can I come in?” He said through the crack in the door.

“Yea.” I sniffed.

He pushed firmly on the door, scooting me along with it. The door closed and he bent down to my level.

Taylor and I were pretty close. He was like my little brother. He knew a fair bit of what was going on between Rob, Michael and me and I could talk to him about it more so than anyone else. I trusted him.

“Kristen, what’s wrong?”

I started crying even more. I was glad he was there. I needed someone. “Rob.” Is all I could manage to get out.

“I figured that much, but what happened?”

“He hates me. I’m the worst person in the world.” I cried. “It happened last night, like IT finally happened.” I said through my tears and runny nose.

“You two hooked up?” Taylor said, surprised.

“Yea, I guess. I mean, I told him how I really felt, everything was perfect, until Michael called. My stupid ass answered the phone. He heard all of it, he got mad, practically called me a cheater and liar.”

“Ouch.” Taylor said, at a loss for words.

“Yea, and then I saw him this morning on the way down and I just lost it.”

Taylor checked his watch. It was 7:00 a.m. “Kris, we have to go. The limo is waiting, everyone is waiting on us, we are already late.”

“I can’t.” I cried. “I can’t look at him, I can’t be in the same car with him.”

Taylor panicked. He was always on time. He stood up and pulled out his phone. He text messaged Rob.

Get your ass up here and apologize to her. I’ve never seen her like this. Just do what you have to do to get her on the set and deal with the rest later. We’re all going to be dead meat if we’re late.

“Kris, I’m going back downstairs. I told Rob to come up and talk to you. I’ll send the limo back for you guys after it drops us off. I’ll cover for you, I’ll come up with something.”

Kristen jumped to her feet. “No! Why did you do that! I don’t want him to come up here and see me like this!”

“Kris, you’ve got to work it out. There’s no way you can work like this, we have big scenes to film today.” Taylor hugged me. “I’ll see you there.”

I just stood there, frozen, waiting for the knock. It seemed like forever, but it eventually came.

Two taps and a pound on the door.

I took a deep breath and opened the door.

**CHAPTER 3 - CLICK HERE**