Never Think - Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19:

Over the next month, life was like a fairy tail. I was constantly sleep deprived, but it was worth it. Rob and I enjoyed watching Izzy so much. Every time she did something new, we were so excited. Rob could always make her crack a smile, and it was beautiful. I guess Rob and I were pretty naive to think things would remain so perfect.

It was almost a month later when the first signs of trouble began. It started with a call from our lawyer.

Michael had petitioned the court for an order requiring a paternity test for Izzy. I guess Michael decided Rob could kick his ass, so he hired a lawyer to do things the right way. Our attorney and Michael’s attorney submitted an agreed order. I had no problem with a paternity test because I knew Rob was her father.

Our attorneys mutually agreed on a doctor to do the test. We had it done almost two weeks later. The doctor said he would send us each a copy of the results by mail within the next week.

Needless to say, when Rob came in with the mail the following week, neither one of us jumped to open the envelope from the doctor.

I had just fed Izzy and Rob was in the nursery with her getting her ready for a nap. I was cleaning up the kitchen when I came across the stack of mail at the end of the breakfast bar. I opened a few miscellaneous bills before I came to the envelope from the doctor who did the paternity test. I sipped my diet coke as I opened it and began reading. I wasn’t sure I was reading it correctly. I read the same two sentences over and over.

The probability of Michael Angarano being biologically related to Isabella Jules Pattinson is greater than 99.9%. The probability of Robert Pattinson being biologically related to Isabella Jules Pattinson is 0%.

I dropped the glass I was holding. It shattered on the tile floor beneath me.

“Kris? Are you okay?” I heard Rob yell from the back of the house.

I didn’t answer him. I couldn’t speak. It felt like my world just caved in. Rob would be devastated. Izzy was his pride and joy. Tears poured uncontrollably over my cheeks and on to the floor. I knelt down to try to clean up my mess. Rob entered the room.

“What happened? Are you okay? Why are you crying?”

I stopped moving. I couldn’t look at him.

“Kristen?” His voice was shaking. He knew. He grabbed the now Coca-Cola stained paper from beside me and read it.

After he read it, he crumbled it up in his hand and threw it across the room. “That’s not true!” he yelled. “It’s not true!”

He stormed off back towards the nursery, closing the door.

A while later, I eventually picked myself up off the floor and called our attorney. Michael’s attorney had already requested temporary visitation rights until we could come to an agreement or go to trial.

“Can they not at least be supervised visits? He cannot be alone with her!” I begged.

“They won’t agree to that, and neither will the judge. He has no criminal record or documented history of a psychological condition.”

“But what about what he did to me? That doesn’t count for anything? There are records of me being in the hospital in Vancouver...”

He cut me off. “You refused to tell them who did it, there’s no report, nothing that will stand up in court. It’s your word against his.”

I cried. “How long do we have?”

“The judge will hear the motion tomorrow and grant an order with temporary visitation, unless we come to an agreement beforehand.”

“What is he asking for?”

“An equal share. 50/50. He’d have her Wednesday morning through Saturday afternoon and you and Rob would have her Saturday evening through Wednesday morning.”

I gasped. “There’s no way in hell I’d agree to that. She’s barely two months old! She needs me!”

“I’m sorry, Kristen. However, due to her age, the judge probably won’t grant him that much time. I’ll be in touch with you tomorrow after the hearing and let you know how it goes.”

I got off the phone and paced the floor back and forth wondering what to do. Rob and I had to be back in Vancouver in two months to start filming Eclipse. How would all of this work out?

I told Rob what the attorney said. He didn’t like it. “That is fucking bullshit. He’s not getting near her. That test isn’t right!” He was screaming at me.

“You don’t have to fucking yell at me!” I screamed back.

Izzy was in her swing nearby and she started crying.

Rob continued. “I’m pissed off because you’re taking this at face value! Don’t you get it, Kristen? This can’t be right. Look at her for god sakes!” He pointed at a red faced Izzy screaming at the top of her lungs in her swing. “She looks just like me,” he said more softly. “She’s mine. She has to be.”

I started crying too. I picked Izzy up and tried to calm her down. Rob was right, she did look just like him. But the test results say differently. I didn’t know what to do.

“Well, we will just have another test done. We’ll go to our own doctor. But, in the meantime, do you think I should sweet talk him? Maybe pretend that I believe the results and that he and I should be together for her sake. That way, when he has time with her, I could be with him. I can’t stand the thought of leaving him alone with her.”

“I’m not letting you do that. That’s disgusting, Kristen. Is that what you want?”

“No!” I cried. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her alone with him. If it means I have to kiss his ass and lie through my teeth, I will!”

Rob and I argued the remainder of the night about what to do. I slept in our bed. He never joined me. I found him the following morning in the guest room, asleep. Izzy was sleeping on his chest. I took her from him, and as soon as I lifted her from his chest, his eyes flew open.

“What are you doing?” he growled.

“I thought you were asleep. I was going to get her a bottle. I didn’t want you to roll over on her.”

I didn’t wait for his response. Izzy and I left the room. I fed and bathed Izzy that morning while Rob locked himself in the office. I didn’t know what he was doing; I didn’t care at the time.

I was in the living room later that day with Izzy when Rob came running through to the garage.

“I’m going out. I’ll be back in a minute.” The door slammed behind him.

I sighed and put Izzy in her swing and wandered off to the office to see if he left any evidence behind as to what he was doing. There was none. I went to our bedroom and nearly lost my lunch when I saw an open suitcase on the bed with his clothes in it. Tears immediately filled my eyes and I began to panic.

The phone rang. It was our attorney. An order had been granted. We were to meet Michael at a local grocery at 5:00 p.m. the next day. He would have two nights with Izzy before returning her, and he would get to see her again on the weekend.

I got off the phone and sat in the floor near my bed and cried. Rob was leaving me, and Michael was taking my baby. I almost felt sick. I heard Rob come in through the garage and I went to meet him.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. “Did you talk to the attorney? How long do we have?”

“Please don’t leave us,” I whispered.

“What the hell are you talking about?” he asked as he threw his keys down on the table.

“Your suitcase...”

“Oh, no.” He walked over to me and embraced me. “Baby, no. I’m not leaving you. I didn’t mean for it to look like that. I packed one for all of us, yours is in our closet.”

I shook my head. “I don’t understand.”

He sighed. “How long do we have?” he asked again.

“We have to turn her over to him tomorrow at 5:00 p.m.”

Rob cursed under his breath and left me, heading towards our bedroom. I followed after him.

“Would you please tell me what the fuck you’re up to?”

“I’m not letting him have her,” he said as he continued throwing things into his suitcase. “We’re leaving.”

“I don’t understand. Where are we going?”

“I don’t know. Anywhere but here. We’re not meeting him tomorrow. Nobody can know where we are. Leave your cell phone here.” He continued spitting out orders.

“Rob, we can’t do that. We’ll get in so much trouble.”

“I don’t care!” he screamed. “She’s my daughter. I don’t give a damn what that piece of paper says. He is up to something. He’s altered that test somehow. Who knows what he’d do to her in our absence. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if he hurt her, knowing I willingly handed her over to him.”

I was still crying. I was scared. I was down right terrified. I didn’t want Michael anywhere near Izzy. I wiped quickly at my tear stained sheets, trying to get myself together. “Okay. Let’s do this.”

Rob pulled me into hug. “Thank you.”

I nodded my head and we continued packing our bags. I packed a large bag for Izzy and enough formula and diapers for a week. I had no idea how long we would be gone. I’d run forever if it meant Michael could never hurt her.

Once everything was ready I walked into the kitchen with Izzy to see Rob sitting at the table counting large amounts of cash.

“Did you rob a bank while you were out?”

He laughed. “No, but I did withdraw a lot of money. They won’t be able to trace us this way. Call your parents, tell them we’re going away for a while and you’ll explain later. You won’t be able to contact them.”

I sighed and did as he asked, wondering momentarily what the hell I was getting myself in to.

We gathered our things I went to open the door leading to the garage before Rob stopped me.

“The car is out front,” he said as a matter of fact.

“Oh.” I went and opened the front door. There was a large black Escalade in our circle drive. “Please tell me you didn’t buy that.”

“Not exactly. We couldn’t take our own cars. We can’t fly. I thought this would be more comfortable.”

“Right.” I said, stepping off the porch towards the vehicle, wondering if he had done this before.

***

We had been driving for hours. “Where are we going exactly?”

“I don’t know. We’ll find a hotel soon.”

I yawned and went back to sleep. About a half hour later he was waking me up. “I’m going to check in, stay here.”

I sat up and looked around. We were outside the Ritz-Carlton in Phoenix, Arizona. I stretched and checked on Izzy. She was getting fussy. I waited anxiously for Rob to return. He did so a few minutes later and he got our things and we headed up to our room.

As soon as we got settled in, I began making Izzy a bottle.

“I’m going to run some errands. I’ll be back.”

I turned around to see Rob wearing a dark colored hoodie and heading towards the door. I wanted to say goodbye, but he was gone before I got my mouth open.

He returned nearly an hour later with several bags from a local drug store.

“What is all that?” I asked.

“Stuff we may need.”

I watched as he dumped the bags of stuff onto the bed. Hair color, a hair trimmer, wigs, and various other miscellaneous things.

“Wow, you are really serious.”

“I don’t want to be recognized. I bought red for you.”

“I’m sorry, what?”

“Hair color. Red, for you.”

“Okay, number one, I’m not dying my hair from a box, and number two, I’m not dying it red.”

“Then why don’t you just go back to L.A.?” he said, turning to go into the bathroom.

I rolled my eyes and picked up the box of red hair coloring. I heard him turn on the hair trimmer in the bathroom and my heart stopped beating.

“Nooo!” I yelled as I got up and ran to the bathroom. It was too late. Rob’s beautiful bronze locks were already beginning to fall to the floor. He didn’t even acknowledge my disappointment. I pouted and went back to the bed.

I looked up when he re-entered the room. I opened my mouth to start complaining but no words came out. He looked fucking hot. We hadn’t had sex since before Izzy was born. I had the all clear from my doctor, but I just didn’t feel like myself yet. Not that Rob was begging for it or anything. We were both too tired to give a damn.

“What?” he asked.

I desperately tried to close my mouth. “Nothing.”

He shook his head at me and laid down on the bed, facing away from me.

“So...we’re just trapped in here?”

“Yes,” he responded.

I sighed and began flipping through a magazine. Rob was being such a prick.

I eventually threw the magazine at his back. He grumbled. “I’m bored,” I complained.

“Well, watch TV or something. Izzy should be up soon.” Izzy was sound asleep in her car seat near by.

I groaned. “Do you know how long it’s been since we’ve had sex?”

He took a deep breath and exhaled it. “A long time.”

“My doctor said I was good to go two weeks ago,” I said quietly.

“That’s good,” he mumbled.

I picked the magazine up from his back, rolled it up and hit him over the head with it. “What the hell is your problem? You’re being an ass. Do you not want me anymore?”

He propped himself up on his elbows and turned to look at me. “Oh for god sakes, Kristen. Of course I want you. Don’t be stupid. However, my mind is currently focused on other things besides my personal satisfaction, or yours.”

I blew out a deep breath I was holding and told myself I wasn’t going to cry. I laid down and rolled over, facing away from Rob. Silence fell between us for quite some time. He finally sighed and I heard him turn to face me, but I didn’t turn around to look at him.

“I’m sorry,” he started. “You just don’t know what it’s like,” he said quietly.

I turned and looked at him over my shoulder. “What do you mean?”

“To think that Izzy isn’t mine, you don’t know what that’s like. She’ll always be yours.”

I sat up and stared at him. “She’ll always be yours too,” I said sternly.

“But what if she isn’t? What if the test is right.”

“You said you would love her, even if she wasn’t yours, because she was a part of me,” I said softly, not looking at him.

“I didn’t say I wouldn’t love her, Kristen. I love her more than anything in the world, but I thought she was a beautiful and innocent miniature version of myself, but the thought of sharing her with him, it makes me sick.”

I looked over at Izzy. She was so peaceful as she slept, so care free, so immune to our problems. She belonged to Rob, there was no doubt about it when you looked at her.

“She’s yours,” I said. “Look at her. She’s a perfect blend of you and me.” I turned to look at him and grabbed his hand. “That’s why we’re here. We’re not sharing her with him.”

He nodded his head. “I was just trying to get you to understand where I was coming from.”

“I know.” I teared up and looked away from him. “If I wasn’t such an idiot back then, I wouldn’t be putting any of us through this.”

“What do you mean?” Rob asked, sitting up next to me.

“If I wasn’t screwing around with both of you,” I barely whispered.

“You can’t blame yourself for this. It’s all his fault.”

I sighed. “How long do we do this? How long do we run away? We have to be in Vancouver in two months. What about our careers?”

“Fuck my career, I don’t care. But, it won’t come to that. It will work out. Tomorrow we’ll work on finding another doctor to do another paternity test.”

I nodded my head and curled up next to him. We napped while Izzy was still sleeping.


Rob was up early with Izzy the following morning. I was trying to sleep in but he seemed to be making a fair bit of noise. He was flipping through pages of a phone book and making phone calls. I groaned. “Do we have to do it, like, right now?” I asked.

“Well we have to make sure we can get it done this afternoon, before they realize we’re not showing up at 5:00 p.m. and start looking for us.”

I sighed. “Okay.” I rolled out of bed and played with Izzy for a few minutes before heading to the bathroom to shower. I noticed the red hair coloring on the vanity. I read the directions and decided it couldn’t be that difficult. I could always change it later. I mixed the coloring and stood in front of the mirror to apply it. I wasn’t graceful. It was all over me. Those stupid plastic gloves were too big for my small hands and I was just making a mess. I anxiously waited the 13-17 minutes it suggested. I got pretty antsy around minute 13. I mean, how are you supposed to know when it’s done? Thirteen minutes and 17 minutes is a pretty big stretch. My hair still looked brown to me, with a bunch of orange goo on top. I decided I’d let it go for 15 minutes. When time was up, I got in the shower. It was so weird to see all the coloring come out of my hair and make the water orange. It took forever to get it all out and off of my skin.

I didn’t really see a big difference until I dried my hair. I examined myself in the mirror for quite some time before deciding that I liked the way it looked. It certainly wasn’t the color on the box, but I was okay with that. It was a reddish-brown color, with a little more red tones than brown. It was enough to be different, but not so drastic that it didn’t blend with my skin tone.

My hair was getting kind of choppy and uneven so I took a pair of scissors to it, shortening it by a couple inches and giving it a straighter finish. I was unusually satisfied with the results.

I emerged from the bathroom after getting dressed. Rob was sitting at the desk feeding Izzy a bottle, his back to me. “Were you in there long enough?” he joked. “I ordered us breakfast. Yours is getting cold.”

“Turn around,” I demanded softly.

He turned around in his chair and looked up at me. His eyes grew large. “Wow. Did you do that all by yourself?”

I twirled around in a circle so he could see the shorter length in the back. “Yup! What do you think?”

“I actually really like it! I can’t believe you did that on your own.”

I smiled. “Me either. I like it too!” I sat down at the nearby table and dug into my breakfast.

The only appointment Rob could get us for a paternity test was the following day. We used fake names to schedule the appointment, but we’d have to use our real ones once we arrived. The press was going nuts for a picture of Izzy. They knew as well as anyone else that the timing of everything was questionable. They didn’t know if the baby was Rob’s or Michael’s either. They finally came to the conclusion that Michael and I were no longer together and Rob and I were.

The following day we headed to our appointment. We made our way inside without being noticed. Fortunately, there was only one other person in the waiting room and she had to be pushing 80 years old. She probably couldn’t even see us. Rob was sitting with Izzy when I went up to the reception window to return the clipboard with our information on it. The receptionist was turned away in her chair on her cell phone.

“You are not going to believe this. I’m like, 90% sure Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are here, with the baby. They’re getting a paternity test!” she tried to whisper.

I cleared my throat and she turned around quickly. I reached over the counter and pulled the phone from her ear, launching it across the room. It hit the adjacent wall and fell to pieces. The girl looked at me with big eyes. I took the piece of paper from the clipboard and folded it, putting it in my pocket.

“We won’t be keeping our appointment.” I pushed the clipboard towards her and turned around to see Rob had watched the entire thing play out.

“Let’s go,” I demanded.

We headed back outside and got in the car.

“Kristen, you have to be more careful. You can’t just go throwing people’s phones.”

“Fuck her! She doesn’t need to be telling our business. This will never work if we have to interact with stupid people like that!”

Rob sighed. “I know, we’ve got to find something more exclusive, somewhere we can disappear.”

“We need to get out of Phoenix. It’s only a matter of time now...” I trailed off.

Rob grabbed my hand and kissed it. “We’ll get our stuff and leave right away. Everything will be fine.”

We packed our stuff up as soon as we got back to the hotel and headed out. When we were outside of Phoenix a little ways we stopped and I used a pay phone for the first time ever. I didn’t think they even made those anymore. I called our attorney to see what was going on.

He was furious that we ran. I didn’t tell him where we were. He said we were in contempt of court for disregarding the Order and there was a hearing later this afternoon. There would likely be warrants for our arrest by the end of the day. I told him the paternity test had to be wrong, that Michael had to of messed with it somehow. I asked him if we would still be in trouble if we had a paternity test showing otherwise. He said we’d deal with that, if and when we had proof. As of now, we look guilty, because we ran.

I was a complete mess when I got back in the car. Rob was in the backseat changing Izzy’s diaper.

“We are fucked!” I screamed.

“Why?” Rob asked, nonchalantly.

I scoffed and proceeded to tell him everything our attorney told me. “This is not good, Rob.” I started to panic. “What if she is his...and he tries to get full custody of her, saying that we are not fit, that we’re criminals!”

“Kristen! Calm down. You’re over reacting!” Rob got Izzy dressed and put her back in her car seat. She sucked on her pacifier, without a care in the world. Rob got back in the car and we started driving.

“It’s not a big deal. We just have to remain unseen until we can get the paternity test.”

“I think I’m going to be sick. What have we done?” I asked, looking at him warily.

“We’re protecting our daughter. We’ve done nothing wrong.”

I sighed and reclined my seat. I curled up on my side and fell asleep, too exhausted to stay awake and over analyze everything.


***Author’s Note: *ducks head* sorry this took so long to get posted. I *think* there is only going to be one more chapter after this one, and then the story will end. I’d be interested in doing another R/K fic, but everything seems to have already been done and over done in some cases, so I’m having a difficult time coming up w/ something. Suggestions? Send them to AllOrNothingKR@gmail.com

Repentance is still hanging in there...and I have a new AH/AU Bella/Edward fic in the works that is rather ... promiscuous? And x-rated. It is called What Wicked Games We Play and the 1st chapter will be out sometime this summer (I don’t like commitment). It has very adult themes, deals with sex, addiction, friendships lost, life, death, after death...and yes, I will be pushing the envelope. :)

**CHAPTER 20 - CLICK HERE**