Repentance - Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33:

On Monday night at 10:36 p.m., Molly Claire Cullen entered the world. She weighed six pounds and eight ounces. She had a head full of chocolate brown hair and her daddy’s crooked smile. I picked Molly and Edward picked Claire, after his grandmother.

Shortly before midnight, on the same night, an evil man lost his life. James was murdered at his parents’ home in Seattle shortly after Molly was born.

Charlie waited to tell us until the day after we were home from the hospital. He waited until Edward’s parents returned to their hotel for the evening.

“Thanks for coming, Dad. We really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, you’ve been a big help,” Edward chimed in. Charlie helped keep Masen entertained while we tended to Molly’s needs.

Charlie turned away from the door. “I’m not going just yet. I needed to talk to you two about something.”

Edward and I looked at each other and then at Masen, who was avidly playing with a little fishing game that Charlie had bought for him.

Charlie gave us both a look that said whatever it was he wanted to talk about shouldn’t be around Masen.

Edward and Charlie convinced Masen it was his bedtime. Edward let Charlie read him his bedtime story.

I waited for Molly to finish her bottle before I changed her diaper again and put her down in the bassinet in our room. I carried her monitor with me. I couldn’t stand to not be in the same room with her.

Charlie emerged a few minutes later.

“Well, I’ve got some news that might shock you guys,” Charlie said, facing us as we sat down on the couch.

Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Bella, uh, shortly after Molly was born, James was murdered at his parent’s home here in Seattle. He’s dead.”

I gasped. “What?”

Edward stood quickly. “Who did it? Why?”

“They won’t tell me yet. I’m not sure they know. What I do know, is having Molly that night was the best possible thing you could’ve done.”

“Why?” We both asked in unison.

“Because you were their first suspect,” Charlie said, looking at Edward. “You’re the one with the most motive.”

I clutched on to Edward and he stood there speechless. “But, I’m not anymore, right? I mean, they know it couldn’t have been me.”

“Right. They came here to question you. They were surprised to find me and Masen here. I told them where you were and they confirmed it with the hospital. They know more than they’re letting on. I just don’t know all the answers yet.”

I didn’t know whether to celebrate or cry. As much I wanted to kill James for what he did to Edward and I, nobody deserved to die. “What happened?” I asked.

“He was shot, three times in the head at point blank range. He never had a chance.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m so confused. Who would want James dead? And what about the guy that took Masen? How does he fit into this?”

“I don’t know, Bella. I’m still looking into it. I’m not going back to Forks yet. I’m staying here a few more days, to get more answers. In the meantime though, I got you this.”

He pulled a small handgun from his bag.

“Dad, no. Absolutely not. I don’t want it.”

Edward stepped up and reached out for the gun. Charlie started showing him how to use it.

“Hello!” I screamed. They both acted like I wasn’t there. “I said no!”

“Bella, it’s for your own protection. You don’t know what these people are capable of.”

I was fuming. “I know that I don’t need to operate a gun and I don’t want a gun in my house. We have children!”

Edward and Charlie were looking at each other, trying to come up with a way around what I wanted.

“I said no,” I stated firmly. “Both of you disgust me. Masen is too young and too curious to have that in this house.”

“Bella, we can keep it somewhere safe, locked up even,” Edward added.

“Oh, yeah? A lot of good that does us when someone comes in here and puts a gun to our heads. Hey, Mr. Bad guy, can you hold on a minute while I go get my gun out of the safe? Yea. Fucking. Right.”

Edward’s eyes got big. He knows I’m serious if I’m cursing. “Bella, I would just feel so much better knowing you have this when you’re here alone.”

“Uh! Don’t you get it? I’m accident prone. I will shoot myself in the head and not even realize it! I don’t want that thing in my house! So help me God if you think you’re keeping that thing, you can go sleep somewhere else.”

“Bella...” Edward pleaded.

I turned my back on both of them, and then decided against it. I should make sure it leaves with my dad and that Edward just doesn’t hide it somewhere.

Edward caught on to what I was doing and reluctantly handed it back to my dad. I saw my Charlie out and nearly lost it when he was gone.

I didn’t know what to think or do. I didn’t know whether to be sad or angry or happy. James was still somebody’s son. Somebody cared about him and they lost him. Images of coming home and finding Edward nearly dead flashed behind my eyes. It scared me. Who would’ve killed James? I thought he was behind all this. Who was the guy that had Masen? So many unanswered questions and it really made me nervous now that James was gone.

I nearly jumped out of my shoes when I felt Edward touch me. I gasped.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Where did you go? You completely spaced out.”

I shook my head and took a deep breath. “I was just thinking.”

“I’m sorry about the gun. It’s gone, okay? Don’t be mad at me. It was your dad’s idea.”

I nudged him playfully, but I guess he was right. It just irritated me that he was all for it, without even considering my clumsiness and the fact that we have children in the house that would think it was a brand new toy.

I finally let down my guard and turned to him. Edward opened his arms and I went to him, nuzzling my face into his chest. “Edward, I’m scared.”

“Don’t be, Bella.” He soothingly rubbed my back. “Everything is fine. He had his chance with us. If he wanted to hurt us, he had Masen. He could’ve...he didn’t.”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

Edward kissed my forehead. “Let’s get some sleep before Molly gets hungry again.”

I made sure the door was locked, twice, before crawling into bed with Edward.

Between Molly and my imagination running wild, I didn’t close my eyes once.

~

Over the next few weeks we learned more about what was going on with James and the person who had been interfering with our lives lately. His name was Christopher Stallings. We had never met him before. He had a lengthy criminal record but mostly petty crimes and possession of drugs.

It took several days for the investigating officer to put all the pieces together. They had an informant working for them. It turns out Christopher Stallings had previously shared a jail cell with Laurent. Stallings was let out early on good behavior. Laurent had a bone to pick with James because James wouldn’t bail him out of jail. Laurent couldn’t put up the money himself. James was blaming Edward’s beating on Laurent. James was using Laurent as his defense in preparing for the trial.

Initially Laurent had given Stallings a few hundred bucks to try to scare us and make us and the police think that James was behind it. Laurent wanted James back behind bars. When the car accident didn’t work and James was still a free man, Laurent requested that Christopher take Masen and dispose of him. He wanted James to take the blame.

Fortunately for us, Christopher couldn’t go through with it. Christopher had a son when he was 16 that he never got see due to his criminal history. He may have been a bad man, but he couldn’t bring himself to harm a child. Laurent grew more and more frustrated as the trial grew closer and James was setting him up to be behind bars for the rest of his life. With Christopher out of the picture, Laurent hired someone to take out James, and in exchange, Laurent set up the hit man with his drug dealer who would supply him with drugs in exchange for the murder.

The murderer hadn’t been caught yet. Laurent wasn’t talking. Laurent told police he didn’t know the guy’s name, only that someone else in the prison set it up for him. Police were still looking into that and trying to track down James’ killer, but in the meantime, James was off the streets and Laurent’s motive for hurting us was gone.

Finally, we had the answers we had been searching for. James was gone, and he couldn’t hurt us anymore. There was no lengthy trial that we would have to sit through. Laurent accepted a plea bargain for the assault and attempted murder charges for what happened to Edward. The charges were dropped to aggravated assault only, and Laurent would spend a minimum of five years in prison. Laurent would also stand trial for the murder of James. He was facing life in prison for that crime. Eventually, his hit man sold him out in exchange for a reduced sentence.

For the first time in months, Edward and I could rest easy and enjoy our beautiful children.


***Author’s Note:

Hi all! Hope you enjoyed this chapter...because it is the last one. I know a lot happened and a lot of answers came out! Don’t worry, there’s an epilogue to follow - it will likely be posted on Christmas weekend. Thank you again for all the reviews!

Check out my newest story - Elusive Reality - it’s on my blog and FF.net.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com.

<3

**EPILOGUE - CLICK HERE**

Elusive Reality - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Maricopia County Mental Health Institute - 2006

One thousand twenty-four, one thousand twenty-five, one thousand twenty-six...

“Swan!”

Lunch was here. I took my tray and sat on my bed. On the menu today was a tuna sandwich, broccoli, and jello pudding. Tuna was always on Mondays...so today was Monday. That’s about all I knew. I couldn’t remember anything today. They must have increased the dosage of my medication. Today I had to look at my wrist band to even remember my own name, and even then it didn’t seem familiar. The “Swan” part seemed familiar, but that’s because that is what they call me here. Isabella meant nothing to me.

Today, all I know, is that I like to count because it helps me keep time. I took a bite of my tuna sandwich and wondered why I was here. I didn’t know any other place I should be, though. I did know that I got some crayons and paper and that was something new. I was going to explore with them after I ate.

The broccoli still seemed frozen today. It was really hard and cold. The jello was good though. It tasted like it actually had sugar in it instead of that artificial crap. It was watermelon flavor, my favorite!

I ate all my food and slid my tray through the little hole in the door and then I grabbed my crayons and paper. It was so exciting to feel like I actually owned something. The only physical thing in this room that I could move was my toothbrush, and it was made of rubber.

I quickly discovered that I liked to color. My hand moved of its own accord. I didn’t really have any conscious knowledge of the picture I was drawing, it just seemed like it drew itself. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t know why I drew it.

I drew a stick figure, a woman, with a big knife in her heart. There was blood everywhere. Her heart was bleeding. The woman seemed familiar, but today I couldn’t remember who she was. But, whoever it was, deserved the knife in her heart. That much I knew for sure. Maybe the woman was me. It certainly felt like I had a knife in my heart most days. I can’t remember why today, but it seems like I remember my heart hurting a lot. I felt like I was always on the brink of remembering something huge, something life changing, but I can never quite grasp it.

After I drew about ten disturbing pictures, all including the same stick woman, I took a nap. There wasn’t much else to do around here except for sleep. I have strange dreams when I take my medication. I had a dream about that pretty guy again. I know that I am supposed to know him, but I cannot remember him today. In my dream he was laughing and happy, and so was I. I cannot describe the feelings that erupt in me when I see that guy smiling in my dreams. He’s so beautiful. I feel safe and warm around him. If it wasn’t for wanting to know who he was and if those were really dreams or if they were actually memories, I’d probably never stop taking my medication. I didn’t want to remember the hurt I felt with respect to my father, but I desperately wanted to remember the happiness I felt with the copper haired man of my dreams.

I didn’t take my medication for the following two nights. I wanted to remember him. Edward. I remembered his name. Unfortunately, that was about all I remembered. That night I dreamt something terrible. I mean, I’ve dreamt of things much worse, but for some reason this dream stuck with me and it made my heart ache. It made my heart feel like it weighed a hundred pounds on its own. It was so heavy, so difficult to carry the weight around with me. It was hard to breath. What if the dream was true? The look on his face. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he gave up, when he concluded that I was never coming back.


I’m there, in the room with him, but he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t know I’m there. I’m hovering. Watching. Invisible. He looks lost and desperate and horribly depressed. He’s in my flat. He came through the door and sighed. He looked around aimlessly before closing the door behind him. He watered my little potted plant near the window. He swept the hardwood floors. He opened the curtains to let the morning sun in. He laid down on my unmade bed. He caressed the sheets and closed his eyes as he inhaled a deep breath. “Bella,” he whispered my name, “I miss you.” He tossed and turned on my bed, eyes closing and opening, memories flooding his mind, the pain evident on his face.

Day turned to night. He stayed. Night turned day. More watering, sweeping, cleaning, caring, smelling, tossing and turning. Day turned night. Nightmares. He had nightmares. Night turned to day. More watering, sweeping, cleaning, caring, smelling, tossing and turning. Day turned to night. Night turned to day. Day turned to night. Night turned to day.

Emmett arrived. “Edward, you have to quit to this. You have to get out of here. She’s not coming back.”

Edward didn’t want to believe him. He continued with his routine.

Emmett pulled the broom from Edward’s hands. “Dude! Quit! You can’t continue on like this. We’re leaving. She’s not here. She’s not coming back.” Emmett put his hand on Edward’s shoulder apologetically. “You only knew her six months man, maybe she wasn’t who you thought she was...”

I screamed from my invisible silent location. Nothing audible left my lips. I couldn’t hear myself. They couldn’t hear me. I wanted to scream that I was there, that I wanted to come back, that I was who he thought I was. They couldn’t hear me.

Edward’s shoulders fell. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” His eyes looked down, and then around the room. He looked deflated. Hurt. Done. They both turned and left. The door slammed.

It slammed so loud it woke me from my sleep. I replayed the dream in my mind over and over that day. I hated it. I think Edward was real. I think he loved me. I think I left London and never returned, without a word. I think I broke his heart. He’s never going to come find me.

I cried the remainder of the day. I felt helpless and trapped. I tried to only focus on Edward so I wouldn’t think about my dad. I decided then that I needed to do something to help myself. I couldn’t wait for someone to rescue me. That night, I started writing things down that I remembered, whether I thought they were real or not. I just needed something to look back to when I was confused. I needed to start putting pieces together.

I used my crayons and paper to keep up with my memories or imagination, however you wanted to look at it. I kept the log inside my pillow case. At least I’d have something to refer to, something concrete when I knew my mind was in the right place.


***Author’s Note:

Sorry for the delay in getting this posted...I have a new fur baby and he’s keeping me awfully busy! Thanks for reading and reviewing....the next several chapters take place in London, this is the last we see of Bella for a little while.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR @ gmail(dot) com

***CHAPTER 5 - CLICK HERE***

Repentance - Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32:

Nearly two weeks passed without even a minor disturbance in our lives. Everything was quiet.

The police insisted they had a lot of new information, but couldn’t provide any of it to us. It drove Edward mad, especially because we learned the girl at the flower shop positively identified the guy that took Masen as the same person. They found out who purchased the car from an auto auction a few weeks before the weekend Masen was taken from the playground. That was all they would really tell us. They just kept saying the investigation was still pending and keeping their resources safe and secure was important. They couldn’t give us anymore information for risk of jeopardizing their investigation. They insisted we were not in any immediate danger and they would alert us if they learned differently.

Edward even tried to get Charlie involved. Edward wouldn’t willingly call my dad as often as he had. It seemed as if they finally found some common ground, they both wanted Masen and I safe. Edward and Charlie worked together to see if they could find out any more information, but even Charlie was kept out of the loop. He tried to call in some favors, but everything was very hush hush. Charlie suspected they knew who the guy was and were just waiting to catch him in the act, or do some sort of sting operation, set him up. Charlie couldn’t understand why else everything was kept so quiet.

Edward didn’t like that.

“Catch him in the act? Catch him in the act of what? Taking our fucking children again? Or running Bella off the road? That’s bullshit! If they know who he is, why isn’t he behind bars?”

Charlie was on speaker phone. Masen was in is room playing, at my request. I silently rubbed Edward’s arm, trying to calm him.

“It’s just a thought, a theory, Edward. I don’t know for sure. I just know that normally when they’re quiet like this, there is something else going on that we don’t know about. They seem fairly confident in what they’re doing. The lead investigator assured me that Bella was in no danger, and neither is Masen.”

“That’s it? That’s all we get?” Edward asked.

“I’m afraid so,” Charlie responded.

I sighed, uneasy.

“Charlie, do you trust him? Do you believe Bella’s safe?”

I turned away from Edward and grinned. I loved that he called my dad Charlie now instead of “Officer Sawn, or Mr. Sawn, or Sir.”

“I do trust him, Edward. I went to the academy with his younger brother. They’re good people. They just need to keep whatever they’re doing quiet right now. It will all come out in due time. As soon as I find anything else out, you all will be the first to know.”

Edward inhaled a deep breath and blew it out. “Okay.”

“Now, how’s my girl doing?”

I smiled. “You’re on speaker phone, Dad. I’m good.”

“You eating your vegetables and watching your caffeine intake?”

“Yes sir!” I teased. “Edward keeps me on track.”

“Now, when is she coming again? I need to make sure I can get off work.”

I laughed. “Approximately two weeks. But you never know. Masen was a little late. I hope she’s not late. But, I mean, as soon as I think something’s up, I’ll call you. I can’t really just plan it though.”

Edward and Charlie laughed. “I know, Bella. Is your mom coming up?”

Edward and I looked to each other. I knew my dad was hoping to see her. “I don’t think so, Dad.”

“What? Why not? She was there for Masen.”

“I know, but it’s different now. I want this to be an experience for Edward, Masen and I, not Mom, Alice and me.”

Charlie was quiet for a moment.

“I mean, you know, she would just worry me to death and always be in my space and stay entirely too long.”

Charlie and Edward laughed again. “I guess you’re right, Bells. You’re going to let her come see the kid aren’t you?”

“Of course, Dad. I just want to get adjusted first, and besides, Edward’s parents are coming up and staying a few days too, so between them and you, I’m sure we’ll be fine. I just know if mom were here, she’d want to be in the room when she’s born and she’d make a big fuss and want to hold her all the time and it’s different this time. I’m not a scared little girl having a baby for the first time against my will. We created her, and we want to bring into the world and be the first ones to enjoy her. I’m sorry if that’s selfish.”

“No, I understand, this is different, Bella. You’re becoming such a smart young woman.”

I smiled. “Thanks, Dad.”

Edward and I said our goodbyes to my father. We were both smiling after we hung up the phone. Edward moved closer to me. His fingertips lingered gently on my cheek, as if he was contemplating something.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked.

I smiled. “Edward, you don’t have to ask me.” Our lips met before I finished my sentence. I enjoyed our kiss more than I thought I would. We were both smiling when we finally separated. “I love you.” We said it at the same time and we both laughed. Edward kissed my forehead and my belly before going to retrieve Masen for dinner.


***

The following week I was completely miserable. My back hurt, my head hurt, I ached all over. I walked around our apartment endlessly until Edward finally took a break from studying to watch Masen so I could go for a walk outside. I waddled down the street while on the phone with Edward, it’s the only way he would let me go by myself. If I walked enough, maybe she would come a little early.

I finally turned around to head back to the apartment. It was a nice 70 degrees outside, but I was starting to get warm.

“I didn’t realize how far I had walked,” I said, out of breath, after I turned around to head back.

“You want me to come pick you up?” Edward asked.

“No, no. I need to walk. You could run me a warm bath though.”

“Okay, I can do that.”

By the time I made it back to the apartment, I was completely uncomfortable and crabby. Edward had my bath ready to go and he was working on dinner. He was going to be one hell of a husband one day.

Edward helped me into the bath and left me alone to tend to dinner.

I guess I fell asleep. I was exhausted. A sharp pain in my side, shot around my stomach and went low around my waist. That pain felt familiar to me. I smiled to myself, hoping it was a contraction and I eagerly waited for the next one.

Edward popped his head in, I didn’t even notice. “Dinner’s almost ready.”

I glanced up at him. “Okay, help me?”

Edward entered the bathroom and grabbed a big towel. “What were you smiling about when I came in here?”

“What?” I asked, as he helped me out of the tub.

“You had this big grin on your face before you knew I was here.”

I laughed. “No, I didn’t.” I didn’t want to tell him, or alarm him, or get him excited. It could’ve been nothing and until I was discerning a pattern, I wasn’t going to worry him with it.

He knew I was lying.

“Liar,” he said to me as he wrapped the towel around me.

“She had the hiccups. It made me smile.”

“You can feel her hiccup?”

“Of course. She’s stopped now though,” I said, as I placed a hand on my belly. In fact she had been fairly active earlier on in the day and I hadn’t really felt her that much lately. I prayed she was settling down like a good little girl, getting ready to make her grand appearance.

Edward left me to get dressed.

At dinner, I took the first bite of Edward’s homemade lasagna and I gasped audibly.

“Is it that bad?” he asked.

My face contorted in pain. I shook my head and exhaled a deep breath. “I just had a cramp in my back. The lasagna is good.”

“Is it a contraction?”

“I don’t think so,” I said as I checked the clock on the wall behind him.

He dropped it and we continued eating, mostly in silence. I didn’t feel well. I wasn’t really that hungry but I didn’t want to tell Edward that. His lasagna was good, so I forced myself to eat everything on my plate and I regretted it afterwards.

I had one or two more contractions before we went to bed that night, but there was really no pattern emerging and I fell asleep that night to Edward massaging my back. I don’t think I’d been that relaxed in weeks.

I woke up early the next morning. Edward was shaving in the bathroom. He had to work.

I laid in bed, listening to him humming some song while he was shaving. It was cute.

I started to fell achy, like a contraction was coming on. It got stronger and sharper until I couldn’t stifle my cry.

Edward came out of the bathroom, half of his face still covered in shaving cream. “What’s wrong?” he asked.

I wasn’t able to speak yet. I tried to focus on my breathing until it passed. When the intensity started to lessen, I took a deep breath and blew it out. I couldn’t hide it anymore. “That was definitely a contraction,” I breathed.

Edward disappeared quickly back into the bathroom. I heard the water running and a moment later he reappeared, his face whipped clean, only the left side freshly shaven. I laughed at him. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing? What are you doing? Don’t we need to go to the hospital?”

He was so funny. “Well, probably, eventually. I need to see how far apart they are. There’s no sense in me sitting at the hospital waiting when I could be here. Labor can last a long time Edward. I was in labor with Masen for nearly 14 hours.

“That is a long time. But shouldn’t you be hooked up to a machine or something? I would just feel better if we were at the hospital.”

“Well, we’re not going anywhere until you shave the other side of your face.”

“Oh, right,” he said as he ran the palm of his hand along his face.

“And while you’re doing that, will you run a bath for me and shave my legs?” I asked sweetly.

He laughed. “Are you sure we have time for all that?”

“I’m pretty sure. And you should call the office and tell them you won’t be there, and call your parents, give them a heads up.”

“Oh, right. The office, that’s a good idea.”

I watched Edward shuffle around me nervously. While he started my bath, I made a few phone calls and made sure I had everything I needed packed in my overnight bag. I made my way to the baby’s room and went through everything meticulously, making sure it was perfect for her. I moved the little bassinet we had been keeping in her room into our room so it was one less thing I had to worry about when she was home.

I felt another contraction coming on, so I laid down on the bed momentarily to ride it out.

“Your bath is getting cold,” Edward warned as he stepped into the bedroom from the bathroom. I raised a finger to him, telling him I’d be there in a minute. He could see the pain on my face.

“Are you okay? Do we need to go?”

I waited a moment to compose myself and looked at the clock. “No, stop pestering me. They’re still 45 minutes apart. When they’re closer to ten minutes apart, we’ll go. It could be a while. Chill out.”

“Oh, okay.” Edward went back to the bathroom and helped me in the tub. When I was finished I sat on the edge, partially covered with a towel, while he shaved my legs. It’s only the second time I’d convinced him to do it, more out of necessity than laziness. This time he even put lotion on for me.

“Thank you, baby. You’re so good at that.”

Edward laughed and I kissed his cheek.


Edward let me relax while he made Masen and I breakfast. I woke Masen up early and we had some mommy/son time before breakfast. I was sort of sad that he wasn’t going to be my baby anymore, but I was excited to meet his sister, too.

Edward took Masen to daycare and we arranged for Rosalie to pick him up. She was keeping him while we were at the hospital. Edward made her swear she wouldn’t lose him or misplace him or let anyone take him. I nudged him when he said that, I know he was trying to be funny, but I’m sure she felt guilty enough as it was.

Edward and I did a few things around the house while we kept an eye on my contractions. Finally, at about 3:00 that afternoon, they were nearly fifteen minutes apart and I was getting to the point that the pain was unbearable so we went ahead to the hospital.

I got checked in and changed into my lovely hospital gown. We got settled in the room and I got hooked up to the monitor. The baby’s heart beat was strong and steady. They confirmed she was in position and examined me. I was nearly seven centimeters dilated. I got my epidural almost immediately. I thought Edward was going to pass out. When I looked up at him, after the epidural was administered, his face was ghostly white.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

He hesitated for a moment. “Yea, I’m okay.”

I sighed. “You better be. It hasn’t even started yet. You have to be conscious through the entire thing!”

Edward laughed. “I will be.”

He seemed to relax then and I tried to get some rest while my epidural kicked in.

I woke a few hours later, extremely uncomfortable. There was so much pressure and need to push. I wanted her out.

When I groaned audibly in pain, Edward turned to look at me from his spot in the chair next to me. He was engrossed in some television program.

“It hurts,” I whined. “I want to push. Will you get the nurse?”

“She was just in checking on you a few minutes ago. She said your contractions were really close together. She just went to call the doctor. I was just going to let you sleep. You looked peaceful.”

I was clammy and sweaty and I ached all over. “I’m hot,” I complained.

Edward went and got me a cold cloth he smoothed along the skin of my forehead, cheeks, and neck. It felt good.

The doctor came in a few minutes later. Without asking he just lifted up my sheet and examined me. Edward looked slightly alarmed and it almost made me laugh. “Well, the nurse was right. You’re ready to go.” The doctor rambled off some orders to the nurse and she hurried out of the room.

“Are you serious? I can start pushing?”

“In just a few minutes,” he responded.

I smiled, excited. I can’t believe I slept through the boring part. I must have been really tired.

Two more nurses and the doctor returned a moment later. The doctor was wearing scrubs and gloves now. A nurse readied the area where the baby would be taken to be checked out and cleaned up.

Edward held one knee back while I pushed and a nurse held the other.

After pushing several times, I was completely exhausted and in a world of pain.

“Just a little more, Bella. I can see her head. Reach down and feel.”

Before I could even let go of Edward to lower my hand, Edward’s head dipped between my legs. “Whoa,” he said, “Look, Bella.”

I reached my hand down and sat up to look in the mirror that was placed behind the doctor. Her head was crowing. Thank God. It would be over soon. I rested for just a moment before I started pushing again.

Thirty minutes later, I felt a huge weight lifted off of me and I heard the contents of my insides spilling out onto the floor.

I was so relieved I instantly started crying, and then I heard her crying and I cried even more.

I opened my eyes as the doctor put her on my stomach for a moment while the nurses attempted to clean her and Edward cut the cord. He looked so proud and happy. I was so grateful he got to be a part of this.

I didn’t even get a good look at her through my tears, before the nurse swept her away. I couldn’t even recall what she looked like and it made me frantic. Her cry was muffled and not as strong as I thought it should be.

Edward was at my side telling me how amazing I was and I urged him to go check on her.

I was so exhausted I couldn’t even keep my eyes open long enough to allow them to follow him across the room.

I vaguely remember hearing them cleaning out her airway and hearing her cry louder.

The next thing I remembered was Edward saying my name.

“Bella. Bella...look at her. She’s perfect.”

Edward was holding our little girl, swaddled in white, with a little hat on her head. I instantly pulled it off, to see her hair. It was dark, but full and wild.

We both laughed, and I cried. She looked like Edward, but with my hair. She had his lips and his animated eyes. I took her from him and she looked at me in wonder.

I talked to her until I didn’t feel safe holding her anymore. I felt sick to my stomach and tired. Edward accompanied her to the nursery for all her little tests and I fell asleep.

**CHAPTER 33 - CLICK HERE**

Elusive Reality - Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

London, England - 2004

Edward Cullen was too good to be true. We had spent a lot of time together and we had only met a few days ago. Edward showed me around campus on Sunday and took me to brunch. It was so nice. He was so much fun to be around and he always had me laughing.

Monday was the first day of classes and I was taking a pretty heavy course load. I was exhausted by the end of the day and it was dark on campus by the time I started to try to find my way home. I wasn’t that great with directions to begin with, but it seemed like every road in London just went in a big circle. I tried for over an hour to find my way before I finally gave up and called Edward. He laughed at me for quite some time before telling me to stay put.

Edward snuck up behind me on campus and nearly gave me a heart attack. I smacked him playfully. “That is not funny! You scared me!” I said seriously. He pulled me down the steps and led me across campus.

It was a beautiful night. Stars sprinkled the night sky and the nearly full moon lit our way. Edward and I were walking close together and out of nowhere he grabbed my hand and held it. It made me gasp involuntarily. I had a hard time believing this perfect beautiful man could be interested in me.

“Is this okay?” he asked.

“It’s more than okay.” The words came out of my mouth before I even thought about them and I wanted to kick myself for saying something so cheesy. Edward smiled down at me and I realized we had stopped walking. His hand left mine and it cradled my face. I stopped breathing. His lips were dangerously close to my own.

“You’re freezing, Bella.”

I nodded my head. It was a little chilly and I had been outside for a while by that point. His breath against my lips was the most intoxicating thing. I suddenly felt drunk. He did things to me that I had never felt before. I felt sensations in my stomach that had never been there before. If he didn’t kiss me, I would surely pass out at any moment from lack of oxygen.

And then he kissed me. I breathed in his breath. His lips were warm, soft and inviting. The kiss was just supposed to be a small peck, I could tell. Neither one of us pulled away. I had been dying to kiss him, and now that I finally was, I didn’t want it to stop.

When Edward finally pulled away, it felt like he took all the oxygen in the atmosphere with him and I stood there dumbfounded.

“Was that okay?” he whispered.

I finally gained my composure. “It was wonderful,” I smiled.

He gave me the most beautiful grin as he grabbed my hand again and continued to lead the way. I couldn’t help but look up at him and his green eyes sparkling in the moonlight. Maybe that is why I hadn’t found my way around campus yet, even though he had shown me. I was always too busy looking at him.

“I’d like to take you to dinner. Have you eaten?”

I shook my head and did and internal happy dance at the opportunity to spend more time with him.

Edward took us to a small little family owned restaurant. It was quiet and cute. Edward and I sat side by side in a little booth in the corner. We drank wine and tasted each other’s food.

“Tell me about your life before you came here. I bet your boyfriend was devastated to find out you were leaving.”

I nearly choked. I hadn’t thought about Jake in a long time. I apologized for nearly spitting my food out.

“Damn, so you do have a boyfriend? That would make my prior behavior entirely inappropriate.”

I laughed lightheartedly. “Well, I don’t have a boyfriend anymore. And your behavior earlier was welcomed.”

Edward raised a brow at me and I grinned. “Please, continue,” he encouraged.

“Well, I lived in Phoenix with my parents. My dad, Charlie, is a police officer. He wasn’t really happy that I was coming here. In fact, he threatened to disown me. We sort of had a rather large falling out before I left.”

“Why, what’s the big deal? It’s a great opportunity, most dads would be happy for their daughter.”

I looked away. “Well, Charlie seemed convinced that I wouldn’t come back and he didn’t like the idea of his little girl in a big city like this all by herself.”

“Oh, I see. Do you ever think about not going back?”

“I don’t know. I just got here. But it feels more like home here than Phoenix ever did. I’ve just always wanted to live in London since I was little. I can’t explain it.”

“What about your mom?”

I shrugged my shoulders. “She didn’t really care, as long as she didn’t have to pay for it. I think it affected my dad more because he feels like he’s losing both of us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, well...” I hesitated. I’d never really talked to anyone about this before. “I’m pretty sure my mom is fooling around on my dad. I think he knows too, we just never talk about it. He doesn’t want to be alone.”

“I’m sorry. That’s terrible.”

“Yeah, I mean, Renee, my mom, would be happier if she just left. I’m sick of watching her pretend that we are what she wants. But, Charlie, he’s still so in love with her. He still thinks she’s the most amazing thing in the world and he will be as ignorant as he has to be to keep her around.”

“That’s sad,” Edward said.

“It is. It’s really sad. I worry what will happen between them now that I’m gone.”

Edward didn’t say anything for a minute, as if he didn’t know what to say.

“So, what about your boyfriend?” he finally asked.

“He’s not my boyfriend anymore.”

“Well, what about your ex-boyfriend?” he laughed.

“His name is Jacob. We grew up together and were always best friends and as time went on we grew up, we just naturally became boyfriend and girlfriend.”

“Oh, so when or how did he become your ex?”

“When I found out I was coming London. I loved Jake, I still do, but it just didn’t always feel right. I always wondered what else was out there. He was always way more into me. He just always seemed like a brother to me. I don’t know. It’s tough, I guess. He knows me better than anyone, but at the same time I don’t feel like he knows me at all. I just thought it would be best for us to take a break while I was gone. I didn’t think it was fair to him to wait around on me, although I knew he would. I wanted to find myself here and discover who I was and what I wanted out of life. I just wanted to live and be independent for a change instead of always having him there to rely on.”

“You can’t even find your way around campus, you might allow yourself to lean on someone every now and then,” he teased.

I laughed and nudged him in the side. “Shut up.”

Edward continued, “So, was he really upset when you broke up with him?”

“That would be an understatement. He didn’t want to at all. He swore up and down he would wait for me, that there was nobody else. He still calls...” I trailed off. I didn’t want to talk about Jake. It made me sad. I did care about him, but I needed to be my own person now.

“I’m sorry.”

I shook my head. “No, this is what I want. There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“I kind of feel bad for the guy. I imagine anybody that had the opportunity to love you, would never want to stop.”

I had my glass nearly raised to my lips when I froze at his words. I looked over at him, expecting to see a sheepish grin, but he was absolutely serious. I didn’t know how to respond, and wanted to lighten the mood, so I said, “Are you hitting on me?”

Edward laughed loudly. “Only since the day I laid eyes on you. It’s not every day I let some random girl spend the night at my flat.”

“Your friends made it sound like a common occurrence,” I teased.

Edward pretended to be shocked and we both laughed. We were quiet for a moment as I sipped my wine.

I felt Edward’s hand graze mine at our sides. “You’re different, Bella.”

All the air left my lungs and I wanted to throw myself at him, but I contained myself, smiled genuinely and returned to my glass of wine.

I’m fairly certain it’s safe to say that Edward and I had a bit too much to drink that night. After dinner Edward and I returned to my flat and we started to watch a movie but I quickly fell asleep. It had been a long day for me and I didn’t realize how exhausted I was, and the wine didn’t help.

I woke up some time later to Edward’s hand ghosting across my cheek and whispers fell from his lips. “Bella, wake up sweet girl...”

I heard him, but I didn’t open my eyes. Hearing him speak to me like that was something I wanted to hear more of. His voice just intoxicated me.

“Bella...” he continued. “Why don’t you get up and get ready for bed and I’ll tuck you in before I leave.”

Damn it. He was leaving. I wanted to sit straight up and beg him not to leave, but instead I groggily sat up and crawled of my bed/couch and went to the bathroom to change and get ready for bed.

I purposely changed into a little pair of shorts and a small spaghetti strap tank top. I padded bare foot across the floor and crawled into my bed. Edward was staring at me, open mouthed.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re beautiful.”

I smiled. “Are you going to kiss me goodnight, or just stare at me?”

Edward laughed and leaned in to kiss me. His soft lips covered mine and I couldn’t help but smile against his lips. He smelled delicious and I was tempted to try to deepen our kiss and convince him to stay, but I knew I shouldn’t. I hadn’t been with anyone other than Jake, and I didn’t want Edward to just be some quick fling, but damn he was good kisser.

He finally pulled away and I pouted. He gave me that crooked sexy grin and kissed my cheek. “Goodnight, Bella. I’ll see you soon.”

“I hope so.”

“If your directional challenges are any indication of when I’ll see you again, I’ll probably see you in the morning.”

I laughed and lunged a pillow at him. He caught it and threw it back at me before heading to the door, turning off the light, and seeing himself out.

I laid in bed that night, the moonlight shining in from outside, and couldn’t help but replay all of Edward and I’s “firsts” that happened that night. I hadn’t intended on coming to London and being swept off my feet by the sexiest man alive, but I sure as hell was enjoying every minute of it. I smiled to myself, pulled my covers up over me, smelled his scent on them, and closed my eyes. Coming to London was definitely proving to be a good thing.

**CHAPTER 4 - CLICK HERE**

Repentance - Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31:

More than a week passed before the police actually shared anything concrete with us. When we questioned them previously they told us they couldn’t release any more information or it could jeopardize their investigation.

They initially showed us a photograph of the abandoned car. It was really old, and gold in color. It meant nothing to Edward or I. We had never seen it before. The police said there were no tags on it. They believed it may have been purchased from a junk yard or auto auction, but they were still checking into that.

That same week, the police had us come in to the station to review some surveillance video. There was video of the person dropping Masen off at Pike Place. The guy just pulled up to the curb, got out with Masen, led him into the toy store and then ran out and took off. The video quality was grainy at best, but I had no idea who the guy was. He was tall and appeared to have dark hair, although he was wearing a baseball cap.

I shook my head. “I don’t know who that is.”

“I’ve never seen him before,” Edward chimed in.

“Are you sure? Look closer.” The officer zoomed in on the gentleman’s face but it still meant nothing to us.

We both shook our heads.

“What about friends, family, co-workers? You’ve never seen this guy before?”

Edward and I both said no.

“You know what? You should call that girl at the florist and have her look at this,” Edward said.

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” I offered.

“What girl at the florist?” the officer asked.

“Some guy, described as attractive, tall, and having dark hair, anonymously sent Bella flowers to her office a couple of weeks ago. One of the girls there, I think her name is Tina, she saw the guy. I wonder if it is the same person.”

“That would be really weird,” I said.

Edward gave the investigating officer the name, address and phone number of the florist and he said he would follow up with the girl and get back to us. In the meantime, they were still going to be trying to find out where the car came from and if the buyer could be tracked down.

Edward was insistent that I should know the guy from somewhere, otherwise, how would he recognize me, or know where I worked or lived? It just didn’t add up. He was driving me crazy about it.

Masen was screaming at the top of his lungs because I took his little guitar away because he needed to finish his dinner. Edward was on my case, and I was about to lose it.

“Edward, I don’t know! I’ve never seen him!”

“What about in any of your classes? Think back, do you remember anyone that looked like him in any of your classes? Has he ever come into your office?”

I dropped the dish I was washing loudly in the sink. “Edward! I told you! I don’t know who he is! I have never seen him before. Quit interrogating me! I’m so sick of this!” I stormed out of the kitchen and went to our bedroom and slammed the door. Masen instantly stopped crying and said, “Momma mad!” and then he laughed like it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen.

I sat on the edge of the bed and let the tears flow. I was so uncomfortable. I was huge and hot and I always felt disgusting. I was so beyond ready to have this baby out of me. I was angry that I didn’t even feel like I had really gotten to enjoy being pregnant with her because there was always something going on. I just wanted one relaxing evening where I didn’t have to feel the pressure of screwing up or keeping myself and my children safe.

Edward knocked on the door a few minutes later.

“Go away!” I yelled back to him.

He slowly opened the door and I looked around for the nearest object I could launch at him, but didn’t find anything, and even if I did I wouldn’t be able to bend over my enormous stomach to pick it up.

“Bella, I’m sorry. I didn’t meant to upset you. Can I come in?” he asked as he stepped through the door.

“You’re already in,” I responded.

He sighed. “Bella, I really didn’t mean to upset you. Why are you crying?”

He sat down next to me on the bed and started rubbing circles on my back. It felt good. “I’m just frustrated. If I knew who the hell was doing this, I would tell you. I’m just so tired of always being on edge and I’m exhausted. I just want it all to stop,” I cried, “and our baby still doesn’t have a freaking name!”

Edward tried to hide his laugh. He pulled me close to himself and hugged me. “I’m sorry I questioned you too much, it’s frustrating to me too. You don’t know what it’s like to have to walk out of here every morning not knowing if you’ll be here when I get back.”

I sniffled but didn’t really respond.

“And we can talk about the baby’s name tonight, I promise. We really do need to get started on it, we only have a few weeks left.”

“Thank God,” I mumbled. I was so ready to have her out, and I really wanted to see what she would look like.

“Why don’t you lay down for a bit. I’ll make sure Masen finishes his dinner, okay?”

I nodded my head and crawled back up on the bed. As soon as my head hit the pillow, it felt like heaven. Edward pulled a blanket over me and kissed my cheek.

Later that night after I woke up from my much needed nap, Edward had cleaned the entire apartment, did two loads of laundry, and bathed Masen. He looked exhausted.

“I really appreciate you doing all this. It takes a load off my shoulders,” I said as I sat down on the couch.

“That was my intention, Bella.”

“You poor thing, you look exhausted, though,” I teased.

He scoffed. “That’s hard work. Our child is a hand full, plus trying to keep him out of danger and doing all the housework. I thought law school was tough.”

I giggled. “Yea, try doing it all like that every day, with a full time job, and an unwanted 40 pounds on your stomach.”

Edward looked at me seriously. “I really don’t know how you do it. And what do you mean by unwanted 40 pounds? She’s wanted...” he said as he rubbed my overgrown stomach.

“Of course she’s wanted. I didn’t account for her 6 pounds. Those are in addition to the 40 I’ve gained that are unwanted.”

“Oh, please! Bella you have not gained 40 pounds.” Edward said as he pulled me closer to him on the couch and kissed my cheek. I swatted him away. I didn’t like to be touched lately.

“I have easily gained 40 pounds,” I said seriously.

“No way,” he countered. “Unless most of them are there,” he said pointing at my chest.

I laughed. “I wish!”

Edward tried to kiss me again. I pushed him away.

“What’s wrong with you? Are you still mad at me?” he asked.

I shook my head. “Edward, I‘m not mad at you. I just need space. I’m horribly pregnant and feeling very unattractive and I just don’t want to be touched.”

The hurt look on his face made my insides ache. “I’m sorry,” I said.

He looked away for a moment, his mouth hanging open, as if choosing his words, then he looked back. His eyes were burning holes into mine. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you.”

I sighed. I didn’t want to ask how he saw me. I didn’t care. Nothing he said would change how gross I felt and how ready I was to meet our daughter and have her on the outside of my body. Truth be told, I was anxious about her birth. I felt safer knowing if someone were after me I could out run them, or hide or something. But, with my belly as large as it was, there was no hiding me. There was no out running the person after me or Masen. I just wanted her here. I wanted her tangible and safe in my arms. I just wanted to know she was real and healthy. I wanted to smell that new baby smell, and count all her little toes and fingers and see whose smile she had. Hopefully, Edward’s. I was lost in my thoughts when he spoke again.

“You’re so beautiful. Even your additional 46 pounds you insist you have hidden somewhere.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes at him.

“Bella, I get that you don’t feel like you normally do, but don’t be such a downer. I love seeing you pregnant. It fascinates me.”

I cocked my eyebrow up at him, in question.

“I never got to see you before, with Masen. I always wondered what you looked like while you were pregnant. There were so many things I missed out on. I’m just enjoying the experience I never thought I’d have, of seeing my child grow inside the woman that takes my breath away every single day. So, yes, it hurts me when you don’t want me to touch you, or kiss you. You’re beautiful. You’re breathtaking. Yes, your body is rapidly changing, but only to accommodate our baby girl. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”

He words touched me. “I’m sorry. I’m selfish. I should’ve known what it meant to you.”

He leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I love you, always.”

I cracked a small smile and pulled him to me. “Want to name our baby girl now?” I asked and pulled back to look at him.

His perfect crooked smile I loved so much danced across his face and his eyes lit up. He reminded me of Masen getting excited about something. He jumped to his feet and went to our bedroom and returned with a baby name book.

We sat closely together on the couch, sifting through the book until nearly midnight, before we decided. I was so glad she finally had a name.


***Author’s Note: Sorry this chapter was a shorty. There are at least 2 to 3 more chapters and then the epilogue. Thanks for all the reviews! I promise a longer chapter next weekend! <3 Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

**CHAPTER 32 - CLICK HERE**

Elusive Reality - Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

Maricopia County Mental Health Institute - 2006

I felt trapped. I was stuck between these four small walls and all I wanted to do was scream and get out. I couldn’t remember the last time I heard my own voice. I wasn’t sure it even worked anymore. I tested it out, speaking to no one but myself.

“Hello?”

It came out a strangled whisper. I cleared my throat and tried again. It was normal. At least I could still speak.

I often went back and forth with my decision to either take my medication or not take it. I liked remembering Edward, but when I remembered him, I also remembered other things. Other things, like waking up to my mother screaming at me, asking me what I did, and seeing my dead father next to me in a pool of blood. I shuttered at the thought and felt the warm tears pool in my eyes. Today I would take my medication, because today I wanted to forget.

They told me I killed him and that is why I was here. I wouldn’t have. I couldn’t have. I missed my dad as much as I missed Edward. It hurt more to think about my dad though, because according to a jury of 12, I killed him with my bare hands.

When I had vivid memories of my father, I almost wanted to request the padding be put on my walls. I wanted to hurt myself for what I did. Why would I hurt my own father? I loved him more than anything, especially my mother. Sure, we had our moments, especially before I left for London, but what family doesn’t have their problems?

Whoever the hell was serving dinner tonight was late accordingly to my constant counting. I needed my fucking medication.

If I counted correctly, today was the second Saturday of the month. My mother would visit me at 6:00 p.m., after dinner. We would stare at each other for twenty minutes and she would leave, but only after I asked her about Edward and she insisted he was a figment of my imagination.

I sighed and paced the floor, waiting on dinner. The floor was cold. It was concrete and boring. They didn’t let me have socks. I was always cold. I had to wear these generic one size fits all clothes, which were really just thin sheets of cotton. The shirt was far too big for me, but at least the pants had a drawstring. Don’t worry, I had already thought about pulling it out and hanging myself, but it broke. It’s like a paper towel. These fucking people think of everything.

I didn’t want to die. I wanted to find Edward. I wanted to find out what happened. I wanted the truth. The longer I was here, the more hopeless I felt. The more I felt like I would never leave and that Edward would never come for me.

“Swan!”

Dinner was here! I turned to face the steel door and accepted my tray while staring at the overweight androgynous woman on the other side of the glass. I took the little plastic cup with the two blue pills and popped them in my mouth immediately. I took a sip of water and swallowed them anxiously before passing the cup back to the beast and showing her the underside of my tongue. She was satisfied and moved on to the next cell.

I ate my dinner quickly. I was hungry and eager to see my mom before the medication really started to effect me.

At first I thought the food was disgusting. It felt like chewing on rubber, no matter what it was. But now, I was getting used to it. The rubber carrots were comforting now and so was the plastic salisbury steak served every Saturday. The food schedule also helped me keep up with the days of the week. This place did everything on a schedule.

Forty minutes latter when the woman came back for my tray, she unlocked my cell. The sound of that lock clicking was the most wonderful thing I ever got to hear. I often fantasized about running as fast as I could as soon as it was unlocked but there were doors everywhere. Large, steel, locked doors. Her attendant entered my cell and placed the cuffs and chains around my ankles and then my wrists. I wasn’t allowed out unless I was bound at the wrists and ankles. The attendant led me through two sets of doors before I was in the visiting area, which consisted of a cold concrete room with interior windows, none to the outside world. My mom sat at a small picnic like table inside. They opened the door for me and told me, “Twenty minutes, no gifts.”

I never knew if I should be excited or terrified of seeing my mom once a month. I was glad at least one person on the planet came to see me, but I also had this nagging feeling that she had something to do with my being here.

“Hey, mom.” My voice still worked.

“Hi, Bella.” She smiled, it appeared genuine. She reached for my hand as a I sat and she held it. “How are you?”

Why does she even ask that question? I shrugged my shoulders. How the hell does she think I am?

“Are you staying on your medication? It really helps you.”

“Yeah, yeah. I take it every night.”

She nodded her head. “Good.”

“How long is my sentence?” I asked. I think I ask her every time, but I forget.

She took a deep breath, as usual. “Twenty years.”

I couldn’t grasp how long that was. It was far too long. I wondered what Edward would look like 20 years from now. “Have you heard from Edward?” I asked.

“Bella, honey, we’ve talked about this. Are you sure you’re still taking your medication?”

I nodded my head. “I promise. Why?”

“Bella, Edward isn’t real. He doesn’t exist. He’s only in your mind.”

I shook my head. “He’s not only in my mind. I met him in London. We were happy together.”

“Then why hasn’t he come to see you? Has he written to you?”

“I don’t know. He probably doesn’t know where I am. Can I get mail here? Why can’t I write to anyone?”

“You can get mail. They don’t feel you’re stable enough to use a pen or pencil yet. I’ve spoken with the doctor and we might start you out with crayons soon if you continue to do well.”

“Crayons? What am I? A fucking five year old?”

“Bella, watch your language.”

“Tell me again why I killed Dad?” I knew this conversation always pissed her off.

“Do we really need to go over this again, Bella? We have the same conversation every time I’m here.”

“Yeah, I want to know.”

“Well, I don’t know exactly why. I wasn’t there. I just know you two had an argument before you left for London and you hadn’t spoke much while you were gone and when you came home from Christmas, you got in an argument and the next thing I knew, I came home and he was gone and you were next to him with the knife in your hand.”

Every time she told me the story I couldn’t remember any argument. I couldn’t remember anything but waking up with the knife in my hand. “What was the argument about?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Bella.”

I began to tear up. Something wasn’t right. “Why would I kill my Dad?” I asked her. “I love him. I miss him so much. If anyone had a problem with him, it was you.”

“Bella, stop it. Right now. We are not having this conversation again.”

I sat there and cried. “Can I have a picture of him?”

“I don’t have a picture with me, Bella, and besides, you’re not allowed any gifts or personal belongings.”

“Will you look for Edward? His name is Edward Cullen. He works for Cullen Enterprises in London. Please, mom?” With that she stood quickly, pushing the chair out behind her.

“You need to up the dosage on your medication. It’s obviously not working. This Edward person isn’t real, Bella! I’m going to speak with your doctor right away.”

She turned and left. She never looked back at me. The attendant guided me back to my cell, removed my cuffs and chains and left me alone in my sorrow. I fell asleep crying.

I awoke a couple of hours later. It was dark. The medicated haze had taken over and it took me a few minutes to realize where I was.

The sounds you heard in this place at night were terrifying. People talking to themselves, slamming themselves against the concrete walls, telling nobody in particular that they were going to kill them. I guess that is to be expected in a mental institute.

I paced the cold concrete floor trying to remember the conversation I had previously with my mother. I couldn’t remember much. Something about crayons not being real. I shook my head. That wasn’t right.

I wonder if I could stop up the sink with something and leave the water running until I drowned. Somebody would probably see the water leaving my room and stop it before it got me. I sighed and continued pacing. It was too fucking cold to sleep.

I looked out the tiny window and could see the moon. It was so beautiful. I ached to be outdoors again. To feel the breeze against my skin and the warmth of the sun. The moon triggered a memory. I remember looking at the moon one night on campus with Edward. I think it was the first time he kissed me. He said the moon and stars were almost as beautiful as I was.

I sighed. There was nothing beautiful about me anymore. Maybe my mom was right. Maybe he wasn’t real. I didn’t know I could get mail. I had never gotten any before. I’m sure if some innocent, smart, young girl killed her police officer father, it would make the news. Surely Edward would have seen the news and tried to find me or heard about the trial. Maybe he didn’t want anything to do with a crazy girl in a mental institute. Maybe that’s why he had never tried to find me. Or maybe he wasn’t real. Maybe I really am crazy.



***Author’s Note: Sorry for the delay w/ this update, it’s been a hectic few weeks! Thank you all for the reviews! Happy Halloween <3 Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR Facebook: Allornothingkr @ gmail (dot) com

****CLICK HERE TO GO TO CHAPTER 3****

Repentance - Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30:

Edward kept his promises, both of them. He made sure to make time for Masen and I at least two nights a week and he also called every florist in town trying to find out who sent me the flowers.

I had a sinking feeling that James sent the flowers. I have no idea why he would do that or if he was keeping an eye on me, or what. I have no idea, I just cannot imagine who else could have sent them.

Edward tracked down the flower shop that delivered the flowers but all they could tell him was that the person asked to remain anonymous. Edward made a personal trip to the florist across town to question the lady that took the order. Edward sweet talked the young girl into giving him a description of the guy that purchased the flowers, but all she remembered was that he was tall, attractive and had dark brown hair.

Edward kept up with my every move ever since. I couldn’t help the creepy feeling sometimes that James was keeping an eye on us. I was just grateful that he hadn’t bothered us anymore. Edward drove me nuts about the guy who sent the flowers. He didn’t fit the description of James, but I’m sure James must have put someone up to it. Edward sounded jealous, and I couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Seriously, Edward? Are we really having this conversation? I am the size of a hot air balloon and you think I have a secret admirer?”

“You are not and I would secretly admire you if I weren’t already publicly admiring you.”

I laughed. “Oh, Edward. You’re so hopeless. I’m sure this is exactly what he wanted to happen. He’s just trying to piss us off. Stop falling for his tricks.”

Edward sighed. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t stand living in the same city as him, knowing that he is out there somewhere.”

“I know, I feel the same way. I really don’t think he will try anything before the trial. He would just be too stupid to get in trouble right now.”

“Yea, but he’s smart enough to get someone to cause trouble in his place. That is what I’m concerned about, like the guy that ran you off the road.”

I took a deep breath. I didn’t like the memories his comment conjured up. “I swear it was him, Edward. I know they said it wasn’t, but I swear it was, unless I’m just completely crazy.”

“I believe you.” Edward leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. “I’ve got to get going. Please let me know if you decide to go somewhere. I worry about you two,” he said as he placed a hand on my stomach.

I sat up from my position on the couch and kissed him again. “I think we may go to the park, but I promise I’ll text you and let you know. Try to get some studying done, don’t worry about us.” Edward was going to the library to work on a paper for class and Masen and I were probably going to go to the park when he got up from his nap. So far, it had been a lazy Saturday morning and I was dying to get out of the apartment.

Edward told me he loved me before he disappeared out the door, books in tow.

I got Masen up from his nap. He threw a small tempter tantrum when he realized Edward was gone. The fact that I told him we were going to the park and playground made up for it though. Rosalie and Emmalie came with us as well. I was glad she agreed to come with us because I didn’t feel like I could keep up with Masen on the playground. I could walk for about ten minutes and feel exhausted.

Rose ran a few laps around the track at the park, as she still felt like she had baby weight on her, but she looked thinner than she did before she was pregnant. While Rose ran, I pushed Masen on the swings as Emmalie slept in her stroller next to me.

By the time Rose came back, I was beat, and Masen was ready to move on to the slides and seesaws.

I decided to keep an eye on Emmalie while I took a break on a nearby bench, while Rose ran around with Masen. I brought a book with me, so I started reading it while the sun washed over me. The sun felt so good on my skin. The weather was perfect. It would’ve been chilly without the warmth of the sun.

I don’t know how long I had been lost in my book. Emmalie started crying at exactly the same time Rose started yelling my name from across the playground.

“Bella!!”

I stood up from the bench so I could see her better. I knew almost instantly something was wrong. She looked panicked. I didn’t see Masen anywhere. I grabbed Emmalie and went over to Rose, she met us half way, out of breath.

“I can’t find him anywhere, Bella!” she breathed. “I’ve looked everywhere, it’s like he just vanished.”

I felt my heart drop into the pit of my stomach and I had to put Emmalie back in her stroller before I dropped her.

Rose kept rambling on about Masen being in line to go down the slide, but he never came down it and she couldn’t find him. I tuned her out. I couldn’t hear anything but the humming noise of children laughing and playing, none of them matching the sound of my sweet boy’s laughter.

The playground was huge, and parts were like a maze. He could be anywhere. Rose was starting to freak out.

“Calm down. Maybe you just over looked him, or he’s hiding,” I tried to reassure her, and myself.

Rose was bent over, her hands resting on her knees, trying to catch her breath. “I’ve looked everywhere, Bella.”

“Well, look again!” I screamed.

I stomped off in the direction of the slide she said he was last at. I looked everywhere. I crawled through every little tunnel, nearly getting myself stuck. I looked inside every tire swing, underneath ever slide or bridge, everywhere. We yelled his name for nearly an hour. We asked every adult on that playground if they had seen him. Finally, we ran into a lady on the other side of the playground that remembered seeing a little boy in a red t-shirt.

“Well he was playing with this little black puppy and the man, I assumed it was his father, took them both back to the car. They got in a gold car, right over there.” She pointed to a nearby parking lot.

“Are you sure it was him? He’s about two and a half years old, he has copper colored hair, and big brown eyes.”

“I’m fairly certain. You don’t see that kind of hair very often, he has beautiful hair, and such a unique color.”

I felt my knees begin to shake, as if she could read my mind, Rose came up behind me to help support me. We sat down on a nearby bench and I completely lost it. I felt like my insides had been ripped out. I could hear Rose on the phone with the police but I just couldn’t comprehend what was happening. All I could think about was the fact that I had to tell Edward I had lost our son.

“Bella, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. The police are on their way. I’m going to catch that lady before she leaves so she can describe the car to the police.”

I nodded my head, not really listening to her. I pulled out my cell phone and called Edward.

He answered quietly on the third ring. “Hi, baby.”

“Edward...” I cried.

I could hear the chair scoot out from under him when he heard my shaking voice.

“What’s wrong? Where are you?”

I couldn’t even speak. I couldn’t make the words come out of my mouth. I cried hysterically. I could hear the sounds of him gathering his things into his bag as he was trying to get out of the library so he could talk.

“Bella, what happened? Where are you?”

“At...at the...at the park,” I said between sobs.

“Bella, calm down, take a deep breath. I’m on my way, what happened? Where is Rose?”

I just continued to cry. I couldn’t get horrible images out of my mind. I couldn’t help but imagine where Masen was and who he was with and what they were doing to him. I heard police sirens in the distance. Edward must have heard them too.

“Bella, what the fuck is going on!” he yelled.

“Masen is gone!” I finally screamed. “Somebody took him! We can’t find him...”

There was silence on the other end of the phone. My sobs grew louder. “I’m sorry,” I cried.

“I’ll be there in ten minutes,” he said solemnly before the line went dead.

Before Edward arrived at the park, the police and Emmett arrived. Emmett took Emmalie to his mother’s house. Rose was beside herself with guilt, but ultimately it was my fault. He was my son. I should’ve been watching him. The lady that saw him leave in the gold car was a big help. She described everything she saw to the police.

Edward, being as smart as he was, arrived about 15 minutes later. He stopped by the apartment to get a recent photo of Masen to provide to the police. I couldn’t even look at Edward when he arrived. I felt sick to my stomach.

He spoke to Rose instead of me.

“Edward, I’m so sorry. He was there one minute and just gone the next. I was supposed to be watching him, it’s not Bella’s fault.”

Edward dismissed her apology. “Why don’t you take her home, she looks exhausted,” he said, referring to me.

I looked up at them both. “I’m not leaving.”

Edward dismissed us both, knowing he couldn’t win with me, not about this. He went to talk to the officers. They had an amber alert out for Masen and had passed along the description of the vehicle to every officer on duty. They felt certain they would at least be able to locate the vehicle in a couple of hours since they had a good description of it and they got it quickly. They alerted the Washington State Patrol as well, incase they were attempting to leave the state.

“Bella, let’s go home. There’s nothing else we can do here.” Edward said, as he knelt down in front of me, trying to see my face.

I continued to hide from him, unable to look him in the eye. I shook my head no. “I’m not going home without him.”

Edward sighed. “They’re doing everything they can. Whoever took him isn’t just going to bring him back to the park, Bella. He’s not here. He’s not coming back here. Your feet and hands are swollen,” he said as he pulled my hands away from my face and looked at my palms. “You’re dirty, too. When is the last time you ate or had something to drink?”

I glanced down at my hands. I was covered in dirt from running all over the playground looking for Masen. “I had breakfast.”

“It’s almost 5:00 o’ clock, Bella. I know you’re upset, I am too. I’m sick about it, but you can’t neglect one child because you’re worrying about another...”

I burst in to tears when he said that. I just wanted my little boy back. I didn’t care about anything else in the world except seeing his smiling face again, but I was starving. I knew I was. My stomach had been growling loudly for hours now and the baby was kicking up a storm. I didn’t deserve to be a mother. I was obviously terrible at it. Edward pulled me towards him and I buried my face in the crook of his neck and just cried.

I don’t know how long we stayed like that. It felt like a while, until my stomach betrayed me again, growling so loudly even Edward could hear.

“Please, let me take you home. The lead investigating officer has both of our phone numbers and I have his.”

“Okay,” I reluctantly agreed.

Every time my phone would ring, I’d jump and expect it to be an officer calling to tell us something or give us some news, but apparently the word was out about Masen and anyone that ever knew Edward or I was blowing up our phones wanting to know what was going on. It was completely nerve wracking. If I wasn’t pregnant, I would’ve been well through a bottle of wine by now.

Edward got me something to eat on the way back to the apartment. I picked at it in the car as he drove us back across town, but I just felt too sick to eat. I forced a few bites of my sandwich down, more for the baby than for me.

I threw the remains of my sandwich back into the bag. “I just can’t eat right now.”

Edward sighed, but didn’t push me further about it.

We got home and the sun had nearly disappeared from the sky. “I should’ve put a jacket on him this morning, it’s going to be cold tonight.”

Edward helped me out of the car and we rode in silence in the elevator. We stepped out on to our floor and Edward opened the door and went in. I stood in the hallway.

“I can’t,” I said.

“Come on, Bella,” Edward held out his hand to me, so I would come inside.

“I just can’t admit to myself that I’m coming home without him. He’s out there somewhere, he needs us.”

Edward took a deep breath. “Bella, come inside. Whether you are out in the hallway or in here is not going to change the fact that he needs us.”

I sighed and took his hand to go inside. It was quiet in the apartment without him. It just felt empty without him there and not knowing where he was. Edward excused himself to the bathroom and I sat down on the couch to start going through all the missed calls on my phone. My dad had called, as well as Alice and Edward’s parents.

I called my dad back first. I told him everything, but he already seemed aware of most of the details. He was swearing he would kill anyone that laid a hand on Masen when I thought I heard strange sounds from the bathroom.

I pulled the phone away from ear and confirmed my thoughts. It sounded like Edward was throwing up. “Dad, I have to go. I’ll call you back in a minute.”

I dropped the phone and went through our bedroom to the bathroom. Sure enough, Edward was hugging the toilet like it was his best friend.

“Edward?”

Edward flushed the toilet and looked up at me. He looked flushed and pale all at the same time.

“Are you okay?”

Edward began to stand up. “Yea, I’m okay. It’s just my nerves I think.”

Edward rinsed his mouth out at the sink.

“Don’t make yourself sick, trying to be strong for me or nice to me. Yell at me, scream at me...let it out! I lost our son! It’s okay to be mad at me.”

Edward leaned on the bathroom counter for support and hung his head. When he looked back up at me his eyes were red with tears just waiting to pour over the edge and my heart broke for him.

“I’m not mad at you, Bella. It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. This isn’t some random act. Somebody wanted him, was looking for him. If it wasn’t today, it would’ve been the next day. James is connected to this somehow, he’s trying to get back at us. I just can’t handle the thoughts of what he might do to him. It just makes me sick.”

I pulled Edward to me. “I know,” I tried to fight back the tears that were stinging my eyes. “Edward, I can’t do this. If he doesn’t come home, if I can never see that little face again, I quit. I give up. I can’t live without him. I can’t overcome any more obstacles. I’m not strong enough,” I cried.

“Yes you are. You’re the strongest woman I know.”

I started to disagree with him when we both heard his phone ringing in the living room. Edward was first out of the bathroom to get it and I followed behind him.

He picked his phone up from the coffee table. “Edward Cullen,” he answered. My heart started to race. He only answers the phone like that if he doesn’t recognize the number.

“Yes.” Edward pulled the phone from his ear and put it on speaker phone so I could hear.

“We have him. He’s safe. No word yet on the suspect. We’re still looking for him. We found the car, abandoned, in an industrial park outside of town.”

I felt like I could breathe for the first time in hours.

“Is he okay?” Edward asked.

“He doesn’t have a scratch on him. He was found at Pike’s Place Market, watching the guys throw fish. There is a female officer escorting him to a nearby deli for a snack. She will meet you guys down there. I’ll give you guys some time to catch up and I’ll be back in touch tomorrow with some more details. We are following a couple of strong leads, but it’s a lot to go into right now, so let us do our job and we’ll be in touch.”

“Okay, thank you.”

Edward hung up and I nearly tackled him. “Thank God,” he said. “I don’t understand it, but I don’t care. Let’s go!”

I grabbed Edward’s hand and followed him out of the apartment. He drove like a crazy man and we made it to the market in about ten minutes.

Masen and a few police officers were sitting just outside the deli. Masen looked surprised to see us.

“Mamma! Daddy!” Masen slipped off the bench and ran towards us. I planted myself on the sidewalk and squeezed him until he told me I was hurting him. I ran my hands through his mess of copper hair and kissed him until he told me to stop.

Edward attempted to get more details from the officer but she was pretty tight lipped. She stated he was dropped off at a toy store down the street and that he wandered down to see the fish throwers. One of the employees there called the police since they couldn’t find his parents when they were ready to close.

News crews began to arrive to Pike Place and Edward and I took Masen home. We didn’t want to be on the news. We wanted to remain as low key as possible.

Masen talked about the fish the entire way home. We couldn’t get him to shut up about them.

“Who did you leave the park with?”

“I was helping find puppy dog.”

“You were helping him find his dog? What did you do after that?”

“Went and got happy meal and den we saw the fish! They throw dem really far!”

Edward and I looked at each other. This didn’t make any sense. Who kidnaps a child, takes him to McDonald’s and drops him off at a fish market? Edward and I didn’t get it, but we knew that Masen had quite the adventure and he seemed perfectly happy and unaffected, and for that, we were grateful.


***Author’s Note: Sorry for the delay w/ this update...real life has been crazy hectic! It may seem like the story is sort of going in circles here, but answers are on the way...and they may not be the ones you were expecting. :) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! If you haven’t already, also check out my newest story - Elusive Reality!

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: Allornothingkr at gmail (dot) com

**CHAPTER 31 - CLICK HERE**

Elusive Reality - Chapter 1

***Author’s Note: Please note the date/location in this chapter versus the Prologue so you don’t get confused. The story will go back and forth between past and present a little bit.



CHAPTER 1

London, England - 2004

I walked through the automatic glass doors at London Heathrow Airport and took in a large breath of fresh air. I thought I’d never make it here.

It was my Senior year of college and I was spending it abroad. I couldn’t be happier to study international business on the other side of the world. I had always had a small fascination with London anyway, so when I was accepted for the study abroad program through the University of Westminster, I was elated.

I rented a tiny flat near the university. My grandmother’s inheritance covered my tuition and the entire year’s worth of rent. I wouldn’t even have to work.

As soon as my belongings were unpacked, I hit the streets to familiarize myself with the area and find a good local pub. I ended up at some hole in the wall place that had beer specials and live music. The music wasn’t that great initially. I’m not sure it was even music. It was just a bunch of college kids laughing and having a good time. That is, until, I heard his voice. He eventually began strumming his guitar in a rhythm and lifted his mouth to the mic. What came out of him was unlike anything I’d ever heard before. It made me freeze. I just sat there, beer in hand, gaping at him. He was so childish and full of laughter a moment ago, and now the words he sang and the emotion behind them were ripping me apart inside.

There’s a soft sweet space on the back of your neck
Smells like rain
There’s a way you look at me baby
Heals my pain
I’ve studied every inch of your body
Baby, what’s on your mind
The touch of your skin just pulls me in
Every single time

When he finished the song, he looked up momentarily and our eyes met. We held our gaze for a second before he broke away and began laughing again with his buddies. I went back to nursing my beer.

The guys on stage grabbed their guitars and allowed the next group to come up. The three of them were walking past me and one of them pushed the handsome one in front, with the voice, urging him on.

“Just talk to her, you pussy!” They pushed him forward even more and he almost fell into the empty chair across from me. His beautiful cheeks flushed red as he stood to look at me.

“Um, Hi,” he started. “Sorry about that; they get a little rowdy when they drink too much.”

His accent nearly had me melting into my chair. I felt my cheeks color immediately. This man was entirely too beautiful to want to speak to me. I shook my head, “No, it’s okay.”

We exchanged an awkward moment of silence.

“Is anyone sitting here?” he finally asked, motioning to the chair in front of him at my table.

“No, I’m alone.”

A large smile spread across his perfect face. “Do you mind if I join you?”

I smiled and shook my head.

“So, what is a beautiful American girl doing in London at a place like this all by herself?”

“Well, I just arrived actually. London is going to be my home for the next year while I attend UW. I don’t know anybody yet, so, hence why I’m alone.”

His glassy green eye grew larger in surprise. “Really? I just graduated from UW.”

“You did?” I asked. I wanted to beg him to show me around campus, but I hesitated. Perhaps he only wanted a roll in the sheets. I’d be okay with that, based on the way he looked alone. He was tall, toned, and fucking beautiful. He had a mess of wild copper hair atop his head, green eyes, and a smile that could make your knees turn to mush.

“Yea, I studied business there and now I’m doing some small business transactions in my spare time for my father’s company, but I’m really just taking a break from everything before I really have to dive into the working world.”

“ How did you like the program? I’m studying international business.”

“Oh, it’s really good. There are some really great professors there...”

He was about to go on when his two lanky and slightly awkward friends popped up behind him. “Hey man, we’re heading out, you coming or staying?”

The yet to be named handsome figure of a man before me, looked to me and then back to his friends. “I’m going to stay here a bit. I’ll catch up with you guys.”

His friends laughed and made inappropriate jokes as they left us to our conversation.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry,” he laughed. “I’m Edward. Edward Cullen. And you are?”

“Bella Swan.”

“Bella? That’s a beautiful name. It’s very fitting of you.”

I smiled shyly as I felt my cheeks tint crimson again.

Before we knew it, we were being kicked out of the pub. Edward started to question the bartender, asking what the problem was, and why he was making us leave, when the bartender informed us they closed half an hour ago.

We must have sat there talking for hours and not even realized the time passing. Edward laughed at himself and escorted me out of the pub. It was raining, which made it feel a bit chilly. I pulled my coat tightly around me as I scanned the area around the bar.

“Should I call you cab?” Edward suddenly asked as he held his guitar case over his head.

I laughed at the sight of him. “No, that’s okay. I walked, I think I’m just around the corner over there.” I pointed a couple blocks ahead of us and then turned and looked the other direction. “Or over there...” I was lost. I couldn’t remember which direction I came from.

Edward laughed at me. “What’s your address? I’ll walk you home.”

I rattled off my address. “Oh, that’s right by me! We’re practically neighbors.” He smiled and ushered us along the sidewalk.

By the time we arrived to my flat, we were soaking wet and freezing cold. He walked me all the way inside and up to my door. I stood in the doorway, watching him shiver like a little lost puppy.

“Would you like to come inside for a minute and warm up?”

He stood there, dripping wet, with his mouth hanging open for a moment before he agreed and stepped inside.

My flat was tiny. It was just a small studio, but it was cozy and quaint and I loved it. It consisted of one large room, which was my bedroom, living room and kitchen, with a tiny bathroom and laundry area off the entry way.

“Sorry, it isn’t much.”

Edward looked around briefly. “You don’t have any furniture.”

“Not yet, I just got here yesterday. I just need to get a bed.”

Edward looked appalled. “Where have you been sleeping?”

I pointed to the corner of the room where my sleeping bag and pillow wear neatly folded.

“Are you serious?” he asked.

“Yea, it’s not a big deal, really. I was going to get a bed or pull out couch tonight, but I ended up talking to some random guy at a bar all night.”

Edward laughed. “What an ass hole that guy is.”

I laughed too.

“Well, I can’t very well let you stay here.”

My brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“I feel responsible that I delayed your shopping trip. You can stay at my place tonight. I have a spare bedroom and I will see to it that you get a proper bed tomorrow.”

“Oh, that’s really not necessary. I’ll be okay here.” Was he asking me to spend the night?

“I insist.”

Ok! “Well, if you insist.”

He smiled this killer crooked smile that I will never tire of seeing. “Just grab an umbrella and we’ll be on our way.”

I packed a small bag, grabbed an umbrella and headed out with Edward.

His place was a block down the street in a really nice building. He failed to mention prior to my arrival that he had the penthouse suite.

“How do you afford this?” I asked, as I stepped inside and was astounded with the beauty of the place.

“Oh, it’s not much. My dad owns it. He owns a lot of places.”

Not much? I’m pretty sure I looked at a couple places in this building and it was three times my current rent. It was a moderately sized two bedroom flat. It was gorgeous and disgusting all at the same time. The living room was rather grand with a beautiful bay window overlooking the city. It had a really cute bench seat that was littered with papers. To the left of the window was a baby grand piano and across the room was a sofa and love seat with matching end tables. There were beer cans and trash scattered about, but the bones of the flat were beautiful. The hardwood floors were in excellent shape. I walked further in, inspecting the kitchen, which didn’t look safe to enter.

“You’re an immaculate housekeeper,” I teased.

He laughed and his cheeks colored in embarrassment. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t expecting guests.”

He apologized but made no move to attempt to clean anything up. It was nearly 4:00 a.m. and I was exhausted and still jet lagged.

I yawned. “So, where will I be staying?” I asked.

“Oh, yes, of course. Follow me.” We walked down the small hallway. There was a room to the left and right, and a bathroom directly in front of us. We entered the room on the right. It was obviously his bedroom, but at least it was better kept than the kitchen. “You can stay in here, I’ll stay in the study.”

“I thought you had a guest room. I don’t want to put you out.”

“Oh, no, it’s nothing. I have a pull out sofa in my study.” He motioned me across the hall where we entered a small library of sorts. It was complete with walls of books, a writing desk, a computer desk, and a small sofa.

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I really don’t mind the sofa at all.”

“I’m positive, please, take my bed.”

I nodded my head in agreement and went across the hall to his room. We went our separate ways and I got ready for bed, changing into my pajamas. I would normally just wear a t-shirt to bed, but I actually made a conscious decision to grab pajama pants and a matching tank. I was just pulling the tank top over my head when I heard a knock on the bedroom door.

I walked to the door and opened it quietly. I wasn’t prepared for what I saw.

Edward, standing before me, bare chested, with only a pair of jersey cotton pajama pants on. He looked like sex on legs. I knew my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn’t make it shut. I couldn’t breathe. He was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen and I wanted to reach out and touch him so badly.

That’s when I noticed the little cup and saucer in his hand.

“I made some hot tea. Would you like a cup?” he offered, attempting to hand the cup and saucer over to me.

I smiled and reached out and took it. “Yes, thank you. That sounds wonderful.”

“Let me know if I can get you anything else. Please, make yourself at home.”

I smiled shyly. “Thank you; you’ve been more than hospitable.”

He flashed me that damn crooked grin and said goodnight. I watched him turn to enter the study. Even his ass looked delicious. I sighed and returned to his room and sipped my hot tea before turning into bed.

His bed actually smelled quite enticing. It smelled like him, a little bit of smoke and spice. It smelled good. I had been laying in bed, tossing and turning a bit, when I heard it. The piano playing softly. It was beautiful. At first I didn’t believe it was him. It sounded too perfect. I quietly crawled out of bed and attempted to come up with an excuse to leave his room and see if it was him playing. I grabbed my now empty tea cup and saucer and decided I needed to return them to the kitchen.

I opened his bedroom door very quietly, so he couldn’t hear me and I tiptoed out to the end of the hall and peeked into the living room towards the large bay window. There he was, in his bare chested glory, playing the piano and bathed in moonlight. The sight literally took my breath away. He was so talented and the song he played sounded so emotional and he looked emotional.

I didn’t move until the song he played came to an end and then I cleared my throat to make him aware of my presence. He looked over at me quickly and smiled. “I’m sorry. Did I wake you?” he asked.

“Oh, no. I was just returning my dishes to the kitchen. That was really beautiful though. You’re incredible.”

“It’s nothing. I’ve played my entire life. It helps me sleep sometimes. I’m sorry if it was keeping you up.”

“No, it was beautiful. Please, don’t stop on my account.”

He continued to play and I dropped my dishes quietly in the sink before returning to the living room. I laid on the couch and listened to him play. It lulled me quickly to sleep.

The next thing I remembered was waking, in his arms, the early morning sun drifting in through the bay window. He was carrying me to bed, his bed. I pretended to remain asleep as he carefully carried me through his flat and into his room. He laid me gently down on his bed and pulled the covers over me. I could feel him linger in the room momentarily before he left quietly.

I woke a few hours later and it was unusually quiet. I assumed he was still asleep. I cleaned myself up a bit and made my way out to the living room. The piano was easily the most beautiful thing in the room. I sat in front of it, gently tracing the keys he touched so effortlessly the night before, careful not to actually sound the keys.

I wandered aimlessly and quietly around his flat until I became bored. I didn’t want to leave before he woke. I knew I should. I should have returned to my flat and probably never spoken to him again, but I couldn’t. I just had this terrible desire to be near him.

I eventually grew too impatient and needed something to do to occupy my time until he woke. I began cleaning his apartment. It was quite the task. By the time I finished, I had gathered two bags of trash that sat near the door. I hoped he wouldn’t mind. His apartment sparkled now, especially his kitchen. I thought about making him breakfast, to thank him for his hospitality, but the place was devoid of food.

As I thought about running out to grab us something for breakfast, I heard him rustling about the room. He stumbled aimlessly out of the room and into the bathroom, never looking my direction. I heard the water run momentarily and the toilet flush before he exited and saw me sitting on his couch.

He smiled his unbelievably gorgeous smile at me and said, “Good morning, Bella.”

I was rendered speechless, so all I could do was smile and nod in return. Edward went to his room, and returned a few minutes later, completely dressed. He came into the living room and stopped suddenly, looking around.

“Holy shit this place is clean. Did you do this?” he asked.

“I, uh, well, yeah. I hope you don’t mind. It’s just so beautiful without the trash.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind, but you really shouldn’t have. I’m a terrible house keeper.”

“I figured it was the least I could do since you offered me your bed last night.”

He smiled at me. “I assume you realized there was nothing decent to eat in there, right?” he said, motioning towards the kitchen.

I nodded my head.

“Well, come on then. I owe you breakfast and a bed.”

I smiled and jumped to my feet.

Edward and I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast at a little cafe between our flats and then we went on the hunt for the perfect bed. We found it, or rather, it found us. We were strolling through a department store when a herd of little children came running down the aisle towards us, knocking us backwards on to a display bed. We both laughed, but we were so comfortable, neither of us made a move to get up. The bed was big, the type of bed I would possibly need a step stool to get into. Edward insisted we could still get the mattress and box springs, the comfortable part, and buy a smaller frame that would be more appropriate for my studio flat.

Edward enlisted the help of Emmett, one of the guys he was playing with the night I met him, and his enormous pickup truck to deliver my bed so I wouldn’t have to pay for delivery. They got it safely to my flat and all set up for me. Edward even helped me make the bed. It took up most of the room, but I didn’t care, because sleeping on it felt like sleeping on clouds.

I excused myself to the bathroom, and due to the small size of my flat, I could hear Emmett and Edward talking.

“What’s going on with you two?” Emmett asked Edward.

“I don’t know. What do you mean?”

“Dude, she’s fucking hot, and you let her spend the night at your flat and you slept in separate rooms? What the fuck? That is so unlike you.”

I heard Edward laugh lightly. “She’s not like that, Emmett. I don’t want to use her.”

I did a silent celebratory dance in the bathroom.

“Whoa, that sounds serious man,” Emmett said. “What are you going to do with her if you’re not going to fuck her?”

Edward laughed again. “I don’t know. I just like being around her.”

“Okay man, whatever floats your boat.”

I exited the bathroom as I wasn’t comfortable listening to anything more. I thanked them both for helping me and Emmett left before Edward did.

Edward and I stood in front of my door looking at each other stupidly, wondering what to do next.

“Thank you again for helping me today. You’ve been so kind.”

Edward smiled. “It was nothing. Thank you for cleaning my flat.”

I smiled. “It wasn’t a big deal.”

“So, what are you doing tomorrow?” Edward asked.

“I don’t have any plans,” I said honestly.

“Well, I was thinking maybe I could show you around campus and we could grab brunch or something.”

“Oh! That would be wonderful! I’m going to be so lost on Monday!”

Edward laughed. “I’ll meet you here at 11:00 a.m. I’ve had a really great time with you. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I nodded my head and saw him out, grinning like a little school girl.



***Author’s Note: Thanks for the reviews <3 Mental Health Institute Bella is back in the next chapter w/ some answers for you! Follow me on Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKr Or Facebook: Allornothingkr at gmail (dot) com


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