Elusive Reality - Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

London, England - 2004

Edward and I had seen each other every day since the day we met two weeks ago. Being around him was like getting high. Not that I was familiar with that, but I imagined it would be a similar experience. I had to have my daily Edward fix. I was starting to think it was becoming unhealthy, so I challenged myself not to speak to him for an entire day. I was getting used to campus and didn’t need his help as much.

I had a long day on campus and an even longer evening in the library studying. I have to admit I was a little disappointed to retrieve my cell phone from my bag and see that he hadn’t called or messaged me.

I had to refrain from calling him on my way back home, that was generally our routine. It’s funny how something can become routine in such a short amount of time.

I entered my building and headed to my flat. I stepped on it before I noticed it. A single pink rose at the foot of my door with a small card attached. I grinned wildly, knowing it had to be from him. I picked up the rose, thankfully having only stepped on the stem of it, and smelled it. I opened the little card after I went inside.

Bella,

I’m sorry I missed you. I had to go out of town with my father on business. I’ll be back Thursday evening. Please reserve Friday night for me. I’ll need my fix of you when I return. I’ll call you soon.

Edward

I smiled and then cursed myself for staying late at the library. He had been here and I missed him. Now I wasn’t going to see him for two more days. Damn me. I sighed and placed the perfect pink rose in a cup of water. I didn’t have a vase. I placed it on the end table/night stand next to my bed. It was pretty. It made my flat a little brighter.

~

The following evening I went out to a pub with one of my classmates. Her name was Angela. She was really nice. We studied together and we both felt like we aced our exam so we went out for drinks to celebrate. Angela was going on about our professor while I was trying to pay attention to my text message conversation with Edward.

“Bella, are you even listening to me? Who is blowing up your phone?”

I laughed. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m listening. I promise.”

“Are you talking to a guy?” Angela teased.

“Yes,” I replied.

“I didn’t know you were seeing somebody! You’ve only been here a few weeks! Who is it? What’s his name?”

“His name is Edward,” I said, as I was looking at my phone, distracted by typing a response to him.

“Edward?” she asked. “Not Edward Cullen, right?”

I looked up from my phone. “Uh, yes, actually. Why? Do you know him?” I internally prayed that he hadn’t slept with Angela.

“Do I know him? Doesn’t everyone? He’s only the biggest player in London. It was even worse when he was still at UW. Girls were all over him and he loved it. He’s never been a one woman kind of guy. Don’t you know? His dad is one of the wealthiest men in London. He has practically funded the International Business program and his company hosts the internships every year. Cullen Enterprises, you know?”

I just stared at her, slightly speechless, for a moment. “No, I didn’t know. I mean, I assumed he probably did okay, based on where he is living and some of the things he’s said, but I didn’t know he was that wealthy, or that promiscuous.”

Angela laughed. “Are you kidding? I heard he’s like a sex God. How is it? Seriously, give me details!”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what she was saying. I mean, sure, Edward has probably been around the block a few times. I suspected as much just from listening to his friends, but what I couldn’t understand is the fact that Edward hadn’t even attempted to get me in bed. I wonder if he didn’t want me that way. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to me? I was so confused.

“Come on, Bella, spill!” Angela continued.

I stuttered for a minute, searching for words. “We haven’t....”

“What? Yes you have! Don’t be shy!”

I shook my head. “No, we haven’t. Not at all. I mean, we’ve only kissed.”

Angela looked shocked. “What? How long have you been seeing him?”

“Just a couple of weeks.”

“That is so weird. Normally he would’ve already made you scream and left you.”

“Is that what he does?” I asked.

She nodded her head. “That’s what he did to Jessica and Lauren, and everyone else from the sounds of it.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t know. I mean, we’re just dating, I think. I mean, it’s nothing serious you know? We’re just having fun. He’s shown me around town and stuff, you know?”

Angela nodded. “Well, hey, you better play your cards right. He has serious pull at Cullen Enterprises. He could get you an amazing job at his father’s firm.”

I nodded my head and changed the subject. I stopped responding to Edward’s text messages. I needed to clear my head.

~

Six beers later I was stumbling into my dark apartment. I flipped on the light and fell onto my bed. I didn’t want to feel sad, but I did. I didn’t understand what was going on between Edward and I. If he was such a ladies man, why hadn’t he tried to seduce me? Lord knows I’d drop my panties for him in a heartbeat. Maybe he didn’t think I was attractive.

I sighed when I heard my phone beep for the tenth time.

Why aren’t you responding to me? Are you okay? - Edward

Because I’m confused. I don’t know what you want with me. I learned more about you tonight, from a classmate. - Bella

Before I had even set my phone down, it was ringing. It was Edward. I didn’t know if I even wanted to talk to him, but I had a lot of liquid courage and I figured it was better now than never.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Bella, what are you talking about? Who have you been talking to?”

“Just a girl from class. I mean, come on Edward, I know you’re not perfect. Just, please, just don’t play with me.”

Edward sighed. He cursed under his breath. “I’m not fucking playing with you, Bella! Are you kidding me?” he scoffed. “I’ve been nothing but gentlemanly to you.”

“I know, but apparently that isn’t your norm, and you haven’t even tried to touch me. So, I’m just confused. They all say all you want is sex, but you don’t seem to want that from me. Are you not attracted to me?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you even listening to yourself? How much have you had to drink?”

“How much I have had to drink is not relevant.”

Edward sighed. “Can we just talk about this when I get back? So I can actually see you when I speak to you?”

“No, we can’t.”

He sighed, a dejected sigh. “Bella, please.”

“We can talk about it now. I can’t function when you’re looking at me.”

He tried to hide his laugh.

“See, you know. You have me right where you want me.”

“Bella, stop. I’m not playing you. I’m not using you. I’m not playing mind games with you.”

“Then what are you doing?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know, Bella,” he said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. I felt tears sting my eyes. How could I like this boy so much in such a short amount of time?

He continued, “I just, I love being with you and of course I’m fucking attracted to you. Are you crazy? I have to constantly tell myself not to ravage you when you’re around. I admit, I’ve not been the best guy in the past, but you’re different. That’s why I haven’t touched you, as you say, because you’re different. Because you’re not one of them. You’re a lady. You’re not a whore or a slut or a one night stand, you’re so much more. I’m not worthy of you, Bella. I guess I’ve just been trying to convince myself that I was good enough, that a girl like you would want someone like me.”

I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly felt very sober. I mean, what do you say to that? “I...I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.

“I understand if you don’t want to see me again.”

“I do, though. I don’t know if I should, but I do.”

I could tell he was smiling. “I bet you look so fucking cute right now.”

I laughed. “Probably not.”

“Well listen, I’ve been completely honest with you tonight. I still want to take you out on Friday. I’m not playing any games with you. Will you agree to see me on Friday, please?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Well, I need to get some sleep, I have to get up soon. I’ll see you on Friday, okay?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I kept you up.”

“Don’t apologize. Goodnight, Bella.”

“Night, Edward.”

After I hung up I rolled over and grinned wildly at the pink rose in the glass of water next to my bed. He likes me. And he thinks I’m cute.


***Author’s Note: Hi! Sooooo sorry it took me forever to update. I’m swamped with work and w/ my fur babies. I’ll try to do better. Thanks for reading/reviewing. More to come soon. Promise.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR @ gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 6 - CLICK HERE***