Repentance - Chapter 26

CHAPTER 26:

I went straight from home to work. It was a busy day. We would be working with the state prosecutor during the trial with James, but I did speak with one of the attorneys at work who was familiar with James’ father. He said he rarely looses. He always finds loopholes and that Edward and I likely have a big battle ahead of us.

It was discouraging news to say the least, but as long as Edward and our children were safe, I really didn’t care. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I wanted him behind bars for a very long time. I just wanted my family to be safe.

I barely remembered to call Edward on the way to class as I was consumed with making sure my mid-term paper was perfect. I called him as I walked across campus to the building. Our discussion ended just as I entered the classroom, and that’s when I nearly started screaming.

James was in his usual seat in the front row. He hadn’t been in class in nearly two months and now he’s just back like nothing happened? I looked from him to the professor, who didn’t seem to care, and back again. James definitely looked different. The attorney at work was right, this was going to be hard. James cut all his hair off and had a respectable shorter cut. He was dressed very nicely and looked like a typical college kid. Nobody would ever suspect him of what he did. I was frozen. I couldn’t move. I didn’t know whether I should run out the door I came in, or go to my seat.

When I finally determined that he couldn’t hurt me in front of all of our classmates, I took a seat in the back of the room, farthest from him.

I had to really try to pay attention in class and fortunately it let out a early since we really just had to turn in our mid-terms and then we were on Thanksgiving break.

I made sure I was the last one in the classroom and the door was closed. James left the room and didn’t even look in my direction. I rushed to the front of the room before the Professor left.

“Professor Arnold? Can I talk to you for just a second?”

The old man slowly looked my direction. “Sure, Bella. What can I help you with?”

“Well, I was just wondering...you know James hasn’t been in class for nearly two months, and now he can just come back and pick up where he left off?”

“Well, Ms. Swan, not that it is any of your business, but James had a family emergency that he told me about nearly two months ago. He’s been doing assignments via correspondence.”

I couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Are you serious? Do you even watch the news? He has had a warrant out for his arrest for the past two months. He’s only back because he got caught. He nearly raped me and he tried to kill my boyfriend!” I screamed at him.

The Professor looked at me like I was crazy. “I’m sorry to hear that Ms. Swan. It must be awfully troubling for you to be in the same class with him.”

I nodded my head.

“I’ll tell you what. I can’t very well kick him out of class. His father is a well respected alumni and one of the largest financial contributors. How about I allow you to complete the course via correspondence? We can meet twice a month in my office to go over any questions you might have and I’ll email you an audio of my lectures. Will that ease your nerves, Bella?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled it. How could this really be happening? “Yes, that will help me. Thank you.”

I turned around and left the room before I broke down into tears. I kept my eyes open and when I got to the exit of the building and saw that it was dark and rainy outside, a million emotions and memories flooded my mind. I had to call Edward.

“Hello?”

“Will you stay on the phone with me until I get to my car?” I said through my tears and uneasy breaths.

“Of course. Bella, what’s wrong? Why are you so upset?”

“He’s here,” I barely choked out. “James. He was in class tonight.”

“What?” Edward nearly screamed. “Are you kidding me? How was he not dropped? He hasn’t been there in two months!”

“I’ll explain later,”I said, concentrating on my footsteps and the faces around me.

“Did he bother you? Did he hurt you?”

“No. He didn’t do anything. He didn’t even wait for me to leave. He looks all cleaned up now.”

I could hear Edward crushing a soda, or beer, can in the palm of his hand and tossing it across the room. He was angry. “Damn it, Bella!” He yelled. I cannot deal with this shit! I cannot deal with being here and you being there. I can’t!”

I sighed and got safely into Edward’s car. I didn’t respond to his yelling. I started the car.

“Don’t go straight home. Drive around in circles, make sure nobody is following you. He can’t find out where we live.”

“Okay,” I choked out.

I stayed on the phone with Edward until I got back to our apartment and I assured him that after I spoke with Alice, I would call him back.

I had a nervous breakdown with Alice. I was so emotional lately. I was grateful Masen was already in bed and missed me being emotionally unstable.

Alice insisted on staying the night and then Jasper insisted on staying the night if Alice was staying the night.

I got them settled on the pull out sofa, checked on Masen, and called Edward again before going to bed. It seemed like he would rest easier knowing that Alice and Jasper were here. I knew I certainly would.

***

Wednesday evening finally arrived without incident and Masen and I were getting our things together to go see Edward. Masen was so excited to get to go see his Daddy. Masen’s favorite part of visiting Edward was drawing pictures on Edward’s cast. Masen always made sure to bring his markers.

As we headed out in a hurry, I nearly forgot the envelope, containing the sex of the baby, I had stuck on the fridge. I would’ve been so upset to have left it behind.

In just under three hours we were nearly to Portland, just outside of the secluded Cullen home. I didn’t particularly care for driving up the steep terrain to the house nestled on a few sprawling acres cleared out in the middle of the woods. Masen was sound asleep in the back seat. I was on the phone with Edward, talking about nothing specific, when it happened.

I was coming around a sharp curve in the road when I saw a blue car coming towards me. If I wasn’t so emotionally unstable, I would’ve sworn it was James driving the car. I even gasped when I saw him.

“Bella?” Edward asked, but I ignored him. It was like everything was happening in slow motion.

James was looking right at me and he was driving on my side of the road. I tried to steer to the left but he blocked me. I had no choice but to go right. I looked to my right quickly and saw the city hundreds of feet below the steep cliff we were on.

Edward was screaming at me and I couldn’t make words come out of my mouth. I was paralyzed in fear. I slammed on the brakes and prepared for the impact if James hit us, but I don’t think he did, instead, the car fish tailed and slid off the road to the right. As the car spun around and descended down the incline on the right side of the road, I saw James return to his lane of travel and never look back.

I screamed, fearing that the car would go all the way down the cliff and kill all of us. Just as I looked back at Masen, who was quiet, but with wide, terrified eyes, I felt the impact. It was hard and jolting. We weren’t moving anymore. We were still alive and I could see the road about 50 feet ahead of us. I looked through the back windshield. We hit a tree. Thank God. I took a deep a breath and Masen and I began crying at the same time.

I could hear Edward screaming through the phone, but I dropped it upon impact and couldn’t find it and was afraid to move because I wasn’t sure how stable we were.

“Edward! Stop yelling!” I finally screamed through my tears. “I can’t find the phone. I’m afraid to move. We had an accident. I think we’re on the side of a cliff. A tree stopped us.”

“Where are you?” he yelled.

“Maybe a mile from your house, at the big curve in the road. Someone ran me off the road. I swear it was James.”

“Are you okay? Is Masen okay?”

“I think we’re okay, just shaken up.”

Edward took a deep breath and exhaled it into the phone. “My parents and I are on our way. We’re calling the police. Don’t move until someone gets there and tells you it’s okay.”

“Okay,” I agreed. I stopped him before he hung up. “Edward? I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.”

Edward hung up the phone and I tried to get Masen to calm down without much luck. It seemed like hours, but it was likely only minutes before I heard sirens and rescue teams converged on the side of the cliff, trying to figure out a way to get us safely from the car.

I could see Edward and his family at the top of the cliff, near the road. Edward was doing better on his crutches.

I learned early on that I wasn’t going to have a problem getting out. The problem was getting Masen out.

They were afraid the car would move too much if I got out first and potentially send it falling down the cliff. I refused to get out first. I wanted Masen to go first. They didn’t know how to get him out. Someone would have to pry my door open and I would have to get out so they could get in the backseat. The passenger side door was smashed and partially against the tree. Masen could only get out through my door.

After what seemed like hours of debate, they finally decided they would try to get Masen through the busted back windshield, if they could coax him out of his car seat.

I tried to tell Masen how to undo his safety belt but his little fingers weren’t strong enough. Not to mention he was afraid to get out of his car seat.

That plan was scratched. The next plan was to secure the car in some way to prevent it from going down the cliff when we got out. The carefully pried the hood open and put a rope down through the hood and secured it tightly. Four firefighters held the other end of the rope. I wasn’t really sure that was going to work, but I was past ready to be out of that car. Not to mention I was starving and I really had to pee.

I struggled to reach back and undo Masen’s safety buckle. The car creaked a little bit, but didn’t seem like it moved. Once I had the safety buckle undone I had to convince Masen to climb into the front seat with me. He was scared and reluctant but when he heard Edward yelling words of encouragement from the top of the cliff, he obliged.

I felt a million times better once Masen had crawled safely into my lap. I held him tightly to me for a moment before people began yelling at us to get out of the car. The tree was the cracking sound I had heard. It was about to fall over and no longer play door stop to the car.

The firefighters pried the driver’s side door open and helped us out quickly. It was a steep and dangerous walk back to the top of the cliff. Masen went up with a firefighter and I was shortly behind him with the help of another firefighter.

I was crying by the time I made it to the top and saw Masen safe in Edward’s arms. Edward was leaning against a fire truck with his crutches near by and I practically fell into him.

“Are you okay?” he asked softly as he ran his hands through my hair and I buried my face in his chest.

I nodded my head. “I just want to go home.”

“You have to give a statement to the police about what happened, and then we can go.” He kissed the top of my head.

I gasped suddenly, realizing my purse, and my beloved envelope was still in the car. I turned around and headed back down the cliff. “Wait!” I screamed.

Edward was yelling after me and a firefighter stopped me from getting any further. “I have to get my purse.” I pleaded with him. I’ll be damned if I was going to wait any longer to find out the gender of our baby.

The firefighter wouldn’t let me go any farther, but one closer to the car was able to reach in through the window and get it and my phone. They secured the car and were going to move it back to the top of the cliff. There were homes along the mountain side below and they didn’t want it to do any further damage. I clung to my purse and went back to where the police officers were so I could give my statement. I gave them a description of the car and that I thought it was James driving.

~

Nearly an hour later we were in the safety of Mr. and Mrs. Cullen’s home.

Masen was asleep when we arrived and we put him down in the guest room next to the room Edward was staying in.

When we were finally alone, I broke down and clung to Edward. It felt so good to be in his arms again.

He rubbed my back and soothed me.

“I’m sorry about your car,” I cried.

Edward nearly laughed. “It doesn’t matter, Bella. You’re alive. That’s all I care about. Are you sure you feel okay? The baby is okay?”

I nodded my head. “I think so. I think I’m fine. I was just scared.” I collected myself a little bit. “Speaking of the baby; are you ready to find out?” I asked.

Edward smiled. “Yes, I’m ready.”

I grinned and found the now crumpled envelope in my purse. I slowly tore the seal open and handed it to Edward. “You read it.”

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded. “Go ahead!”

Edward slipped the yellow post it note from the envelope and his face lit up. “It’s a girl!” he exclaimed.

“Really?” I asked, excited, as I grabbed the paper from his hand to make sure it said that.

“Oh my gosh! We’re having a little girl!”

Edward laughed and pulled me into his chest, kissing the top of my head. “I can’t wait to meet her. I can’t wait to spoil her. She’s going to be beautiful. She’s going to be just like you.”

I leaned up and kissed his jawline because it’s all I could reach. “I love you, Edward.”

Edward grinned from ear to ear. “I love you.” He put his hand over my baby bump, “...and her.”

I smiled and leaned up, kissing him briefly before I begged for a nap. He obliged, and held me as I slept.



***Author’s Note: Sorry this chapter was a little short, but there’s more coming soon! Again, thank all for the numerous wonderful reviews. And a special thanks to those of you who are recommending the story a lot! Especially on the Twilight Fanfic Addicts Facebook page! Speaking of which, I have a FanFic Facebook page now, as I have to keep it separate from my personal one, but feel free to add me! Just search my email address which is AllOrNothingKR at g mail. <3


**CHAPTER 27 - CLICK HERE **

Repentance - Chapter 25

CHAPTER 25:

Life felt like a circus lately. Work, school, Masen, Edward, sleep. I wasn’t sure I even ate some days. Edward was so demanding. I felt horrible for him. He hated being in Portland. He hated being away from Masen and I. I didn’t particularly like it either, but I knew Esme could take better care of him than I could.

Edward had finally given in and taken some of his pain medication, which helped initially. Lately however, it, or the situation all together, had made him moody and angry a lot of the time. His physical condition wasn’t progressing as fast as he had hoped and it was really frustrating him. I was concerned he was pushing himself too hard too soon because he wanted to be back home.

He called and text messaged me frequently and I was finding it difficult to keep up with him, Masen and my school work. Edward wanted to talk for hours it seemed like every night and I did miss him and I wanted to talk to him too, but I also had homework and a child to bathe, feed and get to sleep.

I felt like an emotional basket case. If everything else I had to deal with wasn’t enough, Alice and Jasper kept randomly showing up at my apartment at various times in the evening.

I had been on the phone with Edward, listening to him complain and trying to make Masen dinner, when I heard a knock at the door. I knew it would be Alice and Jasper. It was then, that it hit me for the first time. Edward had done this. Edward was having them keep an eye on me.

“I’m sorry, Edward, I’ll have to call you back. My babysitters are here.” I hung up on him, infuriated.

I swung the front door open to see Alice and Jasper standing outside with smiles on their faces. I got theatrical. “I’m alive!” I said loudly. “I’ll still be here the next time you just drop by for the hell of it!”

Alice giggled and Jasper looked at her, worried.

“I know Edward has you both keeping an eye on me. I’m fine, really. We have consumed enough of your time. Please, live your own lives and stop worrying about me.”

Alice looked taken back and shocked as she gasped and held her hand over her chest. “Bella, Edward may have put us up to this, but he did so for good reason. He isn’t here and that creep has never resurfaced. Jasper and I would be concerned even if Edward wasn’t paying us.”

I felt the heat rush to the surface of my skin. “Paying you?” I screamed.

Alice ducked her head. “Oops.”

“I cannot believe him!” I turned around and went back inside the apartment as Alice and Jasper followed. Jasper hung behind Alice like a lost puppy, unsure of what to do.

“Bella, I mean, we tried to refuse him, to refuse the money, but he wouldn’t let us.”

I shook my head. “I’m capable of taking care of myself. James doesn’t know I live here. He is smarter than to ever show his face in this city again. He’s not just going to show up here! Even if he did, I have you, Edward, and 911 on speed dial and my cell phone is strapped to my hip.” I theatrically motioned to my cell phone that was clipped to the belt on my jeans.

“I’m sorry, Bella. We all just love you and worry about you.” Jasper chimed in.

“I appreciate it. I really do, but I’ve got enough on my plate without having you two stopping by all the time with lame excuses.”

Alice and Jasper apologized and I hugged Alice tightly before seeing them both out. “I love you, Alice. I’ll be okay.”

Alice and Jasper reluctantly left. I knew Edward had been calling while they were over. I felt my phone vibrate on my hip numerous times. I just couldn’t believe that he would pay our friends to keep an eye on me!

I got Masen situated at the table before calling Edward.

He answered the phone on the first ring. “What are you talking about babysitters?”

“Edward Cullen! I cannot believe you! What is wrong with you? You’ve been paying our friends to keep an eye on me behind my back? Do you think I’m completely helpless? Do you think I’m stupid?”

Edward was quiet for a moment before he responded. “No, Bella. I don’t think any of that. I think I know first hand how dangerous James is and I know if anything happened to you, I couldn’t live with myself. I just needed to know that you were okay.”

I sighed. “Is it not enough that we speak practically 24 hours a day, Edward?”

Edward sighed. “I’m sorry. I just want to be there so badly.”

“Oh, Edward. You’re so pitiful.” I sighed, feeling bad for him, but still upset at his antics. “Don’t get mad, but I don’t think Masen and I are going to come see you this weekend.”

“What? Why? Bella, I said I was sorry. It’s only because I love you so much. Why can’t you understand that?”

“It’s not because of that Edward. I have an ultrasound scheduled at 7:00 a.m. on Monday and I have a huge mid-term paper I have to get done this weekend. Besides, next week is Thanksgiving. We’ll drive down Wednesday night and stay through the weekend. I already took the time off work.”

Edward pouted. “I really wanted to see you both. I was looking forward to it so much.”

“I know, baby. It’s just a bad weekend.”

Edward sighed. “Ultrasound for what?” he asked suddenly.

I nearly laughed. “An ultrasound for our unborn baby!”

Edward scoffed. “I knew that, Bella. I meant, why, what is the purpose?”

“Just to make sure everything is okay, check the size, and determine the sex.”

“You’ll have to reschedule. I want to be there for that. I need to take you to that appointment.”

Here we go. Edward had serious issues with being away. He hated that he couldn’t do everything and fix everything. “I’m not rescheduling, Edward. I’ve put it off long enough. I won’t let them tell me the gender. I’ll have the technician just write it down and put it in an envelope and I won’t open it until we’re together, okay?”

Edward sounded so distraught. “You shouldn’t have to go to that appointment by yourself. I should be with you.”

“It’s fine, Edward. Really. Alice is coming with me.”

Edward was really quiet. I knew this upset him. He wanted so badly to be a part of this, and so did I, because seeing your unborn child was something words couldn’t describe. It just wasn’t feasible in our current situation.

“Did she take you to all your appointments with Masen?” he asked somberly.

I took a deep breath, trying not to remember Alice and my father practically having to force me to go to my appointments. “Yes, Alice and my dad took me to most of them.”

Edward was quiet, and I knew he was trying to formulate some sort of plan. I made a mental note to call Esme and tell her not to let him talk her into anything crazy. I wanted Edward better, and I wanted him home. I didn’t want him worried with road trips and my appointments. Besides, he has physical therapy on Monday mornings and he didn’t need to miss it.

“Edward?” I asked, not sure if he was still there. We were both lost in our own thoughts. “Masen’s finished with his dinner. I need to get him in the bath. I’ll call you before bed, okay?”

“What about you? Have you eaten, Bella?”

Shit. “I had a snack,” I lied. “I’m going to make something as soon as I get Masen down. I didn’t have time to make anything for myself because I had to entertain my visitors you paid for!” I said sarcastically.

Edward laughed lightly momentarily. “Make sure you eat, and call me. I love you.”

I smiled. I couldn’t wait for normalcy and routine to return to our strained relationship. “I love you, too.”

I hung up and returned to my motherly duties.

***

I spent the weekend entertaining Masen and trying to finish my mid-term. It dawned on me on Saturday afternoon, when Edward called for the sixth time that day already, that I probably would’ve gotten more done on my paper if I had of just gone to Portland. At least then Masen and Edward could entertain each other and I could have some peace and quiet.

Edward and I’s relationship was very strained. We were both on edge. I won’t lie, I was scared about James. I was concerned he could find me. I thought about it every night before I went to sleep. I moved the end table in front of the door every single night after Masen went to sleep. I even went as far as to set two delicate wine glasses on the end table balanced on top of each other so I’d hear them break if someone tried to open the door. I just didn’t want Edward to worry about us. It didn’t help that I knew the pressure was on. The fraternity had been shut down on campus. They were questioning tons of people, and had 24 hour surveillance on Victoria. Apparently it was worse than we thought, and not only the rapes, they think a lot of the guys were involved in criminal activity, particularly selling drugs that help you stay awake to cram for exams. Not only was I concerned about James finding me, but I was concerned about any of the other fraternity brothers knowing my identity. I’d even thought about quitting school after this semester and giving it some time to let things cool off. I mean, I’d have to anyway with the baby coming.

The closer it got to Monday morning, the sadder I got. I didn’t realize how badly I wanted Edward there with me at my doctor’s appointment. I was really excited about finding out if it was a boy or girl though, and it killed me that I would have to wait until Wednesday to really find out.

I didn’t get much sleep Sunday night so I was up bright and early at 5:00 a.m. on Monday morning.

I had one missed call, which I assumed was Edward. However, I also had a voicemail, and Edward didn’t usually leave me a message. He knows that I’ll call when I see his missed call.

I ignored it for a moment and jumped in the shower so I could get out before Masen woke up and demanded all of my attention.

Once out of the shower, I put on some decaf coffee and sat down on the couch. I dialed my voicemail to listen to the message.

“Hey, Bella. It’s Investigator Lawrence with Seattle PD. I know we haven’t talked lately, but there wasn’t really much going on with the investigation until now. We found James. Victoria slipped up and met him outside town yesterday afternoon. We took him in for questioning and arrested him. We didn’t actually get to question him because he already has an attorney. The Judge set his bail extremely high, but Bella, he bailed out late last night. I don’t know where he got the money. The bail was set high because we knew he’d be a flight risk, but his father came through. Unfortunately there isn’t much we can do. Right now he’s looking at aggravated assault and attempted murder, but the charges are pending until trial. We didn’t have any physical evidence to hold him on rape charges. I’m sorry, Bella. Give me a call when you get this message. I’ve been in contact with your father. We’re going to try to get some protection for you.”

I sat on the couch shaking. I never even thought this would be a possibility. Laurent couldn’t afford his bail and that’s why he was sitting in jail all this time. I never dreamt that James had access to that kind of money. I called my dad first.

“Hello?”

“Daddy?” I cried.

Charlie sighed. “Bella, calm down. It’s alright.”

“What do you mean it’s alright? He could be anywhere! He’s going to come after me!”

“Calm down, Bella. Let me explain what is going on. They’re taking a bit of a different approach now.”

“What do you mean?”

“James is. Apparently his father is a bigwig attorney in Seattle. His mother is a doctor. They have more money than they know what to do with. It seems like James is back and with a more cleaned up appearance and demeanor. He may even get back into his classes. I can’t be sure, but Investigator Lawrence and I think he will blame everything on Laurent as his defense.”

“I think I’m going to be sick,” I said as I felt my stomach turn cartwheels.

“I really don’t think he would come after you at this point. He obviously thinks he has a decent chance at beating the charges so I don’t think he would jeopardize that. He’s in no less trouble if you were dead. It wouldn’t benefit him at this point. Just lay low for now and in the meantime Investigator Lawrence is trying to get someone to keep an eye on you.”

I sighed. “Great. Thanks, Dad. I need to call Edward; I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you, Bella. Don’t let this upset you. Let me know how your appointment goes.”

“Okay.” I hung up and sat starting at my phone. I didn’t want to call Edward. I didn’t want to tell him. He would freak out.

My phone rang again before I could finish my next thought. It was Edward.

“Hello?”

“Bella? Where are you? Are you alright?” he asked, frantic.

“I’m at home. I’m fine.”

“I just got a message from Investigator Lawrence...”

I cut him off before he could finish. “I know, I got one too.” I tried not to cry, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to deal with Edward right now. I wanted to stay locked in my apartment for the rest of the day.

Edward went on and on about my safety and that I needed to get Masen and come to Portland. He didn’t understand that I couldn’t just leave my job and my life behind in Seattle and wait around for James to be tried before a jury. I was scared. I was down right terrified, but I wasn’t giving up my life because of it. I worked too damn hard to get where I am to give it all up.

The only thing that finally appeased Edward to let me leave the house was that he would stay on the phone with me the entire time. I know it is ridiculous, but it’s the only thing that would calm him down.

I continued to get myself ready and Masen ready. Masen talked to Edward for a little bit while I did what I needed to. Masen was staying with Rose until Alice and I got finished with my appointment.

Alice arrived right on time and she was practically beaming from ear to ear. She could tell by the way I looked that it hadn’t been a good morning. My cell phone was laying on the coffee table on speaker phone.

“Bella, what’s wrong? No reason to be upset, it’s going to be a great day!”

I shook my head, trying to tell her not to ask but it didn’t work. Edward chimed in and went through all the morning’s events and reiterated why it was so important that Alice and Jasper keep an eye on me.

Alice looked nervous, but ensured Edward they would make certain I was okay.

“So, why don’t we leave all that mess behind,” Alice started. “I have a surprise for both of you!”

“You do?” I asked. “What is it?”

Alice smiled and pulled her MacBook from her messenger bag and held it up in the air.

“She’s holding her MacBook up,” I told Edward, who obviously couldn’t see what she was doing. “I don’t get it, Alice.”

Suddenly Edward chimed in. “Oh, Alice! That’s a great idea! Skype?” Edward asked.

Alice beamed. “Exactly!”

“Oh!” I said, finally cluing in. Alice brought her MacBook so we could Skype with Edward at the ultrasound. “So, Edward, does this mean we can find out the gender today?” I asked.

“No!” Edward pouted. “I want to be there.”

I sighed. I was so anxious to find out if I’d have another little Edward. “Fine,” I conceded and we headed out to the appointment.

The technician doing the ultrasound wasn’t all that thrilled about our Skype plans but she eventually agreed as long as she wasn’t in the shot. Alice set the computer up on this little cart that rolled and angled it just right so that me and the monitor were in view. I could look to my left and see Edward on the screen. It almost felt like he was really there. He looked a little rough although all of the swelling on his face had gone down. Almost all of his bruises were gone now, but he still looked tired and emotionally spent. Not to mention he was in dire need of a haircut. His hair was all over the place. It looked like a bird’s nest on his head.

It startled me when Edward started speaking at the same time the technician squirted cold goo all over my lower stomach. “Bella, you’ve grown a lot. I feel like I haven’t seen you in so long.”

“This is nothing compared to what I will be like in a few more months,” I told him. I looked over to see him completely enthralled and sitting there staring intently with his mouth hanging open.

We heard the heart beat first. I had heard it faintly before but Edward hadn’t. The technician turned the volume up loudly so Edward could hear it clearly.

“Wow, that’s crazy. It’s beating so fast.”

“It’s beating at a normal rate. He or she has a strong heart beat; it sounds perfect.”

The technician switched instruments and turned on the ultrasound monitor. The baby still seemed so tiny. Edward, Alice and I were all mesmerized and stared at the screen in silence as the technician took some measurements and made some notes. I could see it’s little fingers and toes. They looked perfect. I never remembered being this excited with Masen. Every time I saw him during an ultrasound I completely panicked and looked away.

The technician jotted something down on a post-it note and put it in an envelope. She sealed it tightly and handed it to me.

“So, you can tell if it is a boy or girl?” I asked.

The technician nodded. “Yes, it’s very clear. I got a very good picture.”

I looked at Edward and he was absolutely beaming. “Are you sure we can’t find out now?” I begged him.

“No! I want to be with you. It’s only a few more days.”

I sighed and agreed. Alice found out a few weeks ago that she was having a little boy. She had spent a fortune on him ever since. I was so jealous. I wanted to know. I wanted to start planning and thinking of names and all of that fun stuff that I took for granted with Masen.

The technician printed off a couple of photos before my doctor came in to follow up. He was careful not to give anything away as to the gender of the baby. He did say it was a little smaller than it should be, and that I hadn’t gained enough weight. I wanted to hit him upside the head for saying that in front of Edward.

Edward gave me a nasty look. He didn’t even have to say anything. “I’ve been eating everything in sight!” I said in my defense, and I did eat a lot, when I had time.

The doctor told me everything else looked perfect and to just put on a little more weight before my next visit. Saying goodbye to Edward on Skype was harder than I thought it would be. It had been well over a week since I’d seen him and I missed him.

“I’ve got to go to work and then I have class tonight. I’ll try to call you in between.”

Edward nodded his head. “Okay, I love you. Please be careful and be aware of your surroundings.”

“I will. I love you too.”

Alice snapped the computer shut and we headed home and I headed back to the busy schedule that I loathed.

**CHAPTER 26 - CLICK HERE **

Repentance - Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

***

A few weeks passed and Edward was slowly improving and my baby bump was increasing in size. I swear I was eating everything in site. It wasn’t like this with Masen.

Edward insisted I couldn’t stay in the apartment anymore since James’ whereabouts were still unknown. The police did catch Laurent last week. They actually pulled him over for speeding and then realized there was a warrant for him. He claims he doesn’t know where James is and is denying any involvement in what happened to Edward.

From his hospital bed, Edward arranged for us to move. I talked him into a three bedroom apartment, saying that we needed more space. There wasn’t a three bedroom available in our building so we moved into the same building as Alice and Jasper. Edward hired movers and I practically didn’t lift a finger.

Alice had been on my case about telling Edward I was pregnant. I was definitely beginning to show. Alice had made her big announcement and I didn’t want to steal the spotlight from her.

I knew I needed to tell Edward. I was just hoping it wouldn’t be while he was in a hospital bed. We had big decisions to make where Edward was concerned. His parents and I weren’t exactly seeing eye to eye.

Edward would need a lot of physical therapy. He had lost some of his motor skills and while everything seemed to slowly be coming back together he was still having a lot of problems using his right hand and arm. His leg would be in a full cast for another four weeks and after that, he would need weeks of physical therapy to learn how to use his leg again.

He could hardly do anything for himself and he still had to be careful not to lift anything or do anything strenuous due to his incision from his surgery. He was just beginning to eat solid food again.

The problem was, Edward needed round the clock care. I worked and had class and I wasn’t even strong enough to help him that much. But at the same time, I was selfish and I wanted him home.

Esme and Carlisle insisted Edward go back to Portland with them and let Esme care for him until he recovers. I knew that was what is best for Edward, but what about Masen and I?

We only had one more day to decide. Edward was being released from the hospital tomorrow morning.

Edward of course insisted on going home and thinks he can take care of himself.

Esme and Carlisle had stepped out to get something to eat and I was alone with Edward in his room. He wasn’t happy, because he knew what he had to do.

“I’m sorry, Edward. I want you home more than anything, but I won’t be there enough to take proper care of you.”

Edward sighed. “I know. Promise me you will come see me every weekend and bring Masen?”

“I promise.” My eyes filled with tears at the thought of only seeing him on the weekends.

“Don’t cry, Bella,” he said as he brushed the back of my hand with his fingertips. “As soon as I get this cast off, I’ll be home.”

I wiped at my damp eyes as Esme and Carlisle entered the room. I stood quickly, ready to put my plan into action.

“Can I have a moment with both of you, outside.”

Edward looked confused and Esme and Carlisle left the room with me. I talked them into letting me have one night with Edward before he went to Portland. They reluctantly agreed, which meant they would be spending an extra night in Seattle before returning home with Edward.

Edward was so excited when he found out. He hadn’t even seen our new apartment and he had only seen Masen two times since this whole nightmare started.

Carlisle had to help me get Edward to our apartment. He was still in a lot of pain and we transported him in a wheelchair. He had a walker and crutches, but his incision was still really tender and he was sore all over. He had pain medication, but he refused to take it.

It was quite the production, but we finally got Edward settled on the couch. As soon as he had everything he needed within arms reach, I went and fetched Masen from Alice and Jasper.

Masen was so excited that he was going to get to see his daddy. I set Masen down as soon as we entered the apartment and he ran to Edward, climbing up on the couch and into Edward’s lap. Masen’s little arms swung around Edward’s neck and I saw Edward flinch in pain.

I immediately went to get Masen. “Masen, you have to be careful, daddy’s sick, okay?” I pulled Masen back a little bit, but Edward held on to him tightly with his good arm.

“It’s okay, Bella. He’s fine.”

I took a deep breath and let them get settled on the couch. I had a feeling Masen wasn’t going to move for the rest of the night.

I made lunch in the kitchen while Edward read Masen a book on the couch. We all ate on the couch, and Masen made a big mess, but neither of us could complain. It felt good to be together again.

Approximately three minutes after I finished lunch, I got sick. Some smell set me off. I think it may have been the cheese on Masen’s sandwich.

“I’ll be right back,” I said as I got up and ran for the nearest bathroom. I lost all my lunch, but felt infinitely better afterwards.

I returned to the living room after rinsing my mouth out and brushing my teeth.

Edward was looking at me like I wasn’t human. “Are you alright?” he asked.

I nodded my head. “Oh, I’m fine. I think I just picked up a little stomach bug from the hospital or something.” I tried to play it off, but I wasn’t sure Edward was buying it.

Edward, Masen and I spent the entire day watching movies and being lazy. Masen passed out on the couch early and I carried him to bed before returning to the couch with Edward.

“So, how do you like the apartment?” I asked.

Edward looked around. “It’s nice, what I can see of it from here,” he joked.

“It’s much roomier. Masen really likes his room. I got him a big boy bed!”

“Really? No more crib?”

I shook my head. “Nope! He was out growing it, and the new bed still has side rails, so he can’t fall out, but he can get in and out on his own.”

Edward suddenly looked slightly distant. I ran my fingers through is mess of hair. “Are you okay?” I asked.

Edward nodded his head. “Yea, it’s just everything seems so different.”

I nodded my head. “Well, it’s a new place. You’ll get used to it.”

“I want to see the rest of it and then can we go to bed?” he asked. I could tell he was exhausted. He was used to sleeping most of the day.

“Of course, Edward.” I got up to get his walker. His arm and hand weren’t strong enough yet to support himself on crutches.

Edward bitched and moaned about having to use a walker.

“It’s only for a little while, Edward. Come on...” I helped him up from the couch and he gasped in pain again. I froze. “Are you okay?”

He exhaled a deep breath and nodded his head, but I didn’t believe him. I helped him around the corner to see the kitchen, and then down the hall where we peeked into Masen’s room.

“He’s really getting big. He’s growing up so fast,” Edward said.

I agreed with him and we glanced into our room on the right before reaching the end of the hallway where the third and final bedroom was. I slowly and nervously opened the bedroom door and switched on the light.

“Why did you put his crib in here?” Edward asked. “I thought you wanted an extra bedroom for an office?”

I looked up at Edward, trying to tell him without words. He wasn’t comprehending.

“Edward, I’m pregnant.”

His face was a mirage of emotion, from one extreme to the next. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

“Are you sure?” he finally asked.

I nodded my head and took his good hand, rubbing it gently over my little baby bump.

Edward gasped. “You’ve known this all along and you’re just now telling me?”

He sounded mad. “Well...I...” I struggled for words. “We were never alone. I wanted to tell you when you got home, not in a hospital room.”

Edward pushed the door back quickly, banging it loudly against the wall in a fit of anger as he attempted to storm down the hall at a snails pace. If I wasn’t so concerned about his reaction, it would’ve almost been humorous.

“Edward?” I asked cautiously. “I’m sorry, I just thought...”

He didn’t let me finish. He yelled as he entered our bedroom. “I’m so fucking pissed off!” He screamed as he pushed our door back against the wall as well.

I’d never seen Edward like that. I was almost scared. I didn’t understand. I thought he would be happy.

I heard Edward collapse on the bed and yell out in pain. I rushed into our bedroom to see him gripping his side near his incision.

“Edward, calm down. Please! You’re going to hurt yourself.”

Edward laid back on the bed and kicked his walker out of the way with his free leg. I walked up to him and lifted his casted leg on to the bed and helped him scoot up so his head could rest on the pillow. I tried to stop them, but the warm tears slid down my cheeks anyway.

Edward sighed and looked emotionally tormented. After a few minutes he seemed to calm down and relax.

“Bella, I’m sorry.”

I just continued to cry. “I didn’t know you’d be so upset. I mean, I didn’t just make this baby on my own.”

Edward glanced up at me quickly. “No, Bella. That’s not what I meant!” He pulled at my arm and I sat down on the edge of the bed next to him. “I’m not mad at you, baby. I’m pissed off at the situation. I’m pissed off because I finally have the opportunity to be there for you while you’re pregnant and to see our child be born, and I’m fucking immobile and I’ll be 200 miles away! I never would’ve agreed to go to Portland if I had known this. How far along are you? Wait, we only even had sex once...”

I nodded my head. “San Diego.”

“That means your like, four and a half months along?”

I nodded my head.

“Do you know if it is a boy or girl?”

“No, not yet. I have an appointment in a couple weeks.” I could tell by the look on his face that he was scheming some sort of plan.

“My mom will just have to get over it. I’m not going to Portland.”

“Edward, it may not be such a bad idea. You need someone that will be around more. You can’t take care of Masen like this. You can’t even get up on your own and I don’t need to be trying to lift you. Masen and I will be okay and we will come visit every weekend. You won’t miss anything.”

Edward sighed. I could tell he was frustrated. He finally gave in when I told him I didn’t need the stress of taking care of him and Masen and keeping up with school and work while I was pregnant. It wouldn’t be good for the baby, my sanity, or our relationship.

I eventually helped Edward to the bathroom where we got him ready for bed and changed the bandage where his incision was. I was exhausted by the time we got back in bed. Taking care of Edward in his current condition was definitely a full time job; a full time job that I didn’t have time for. I loved Edward and I wanted to take care of him, but it just wasn’t feasible in our current situation.

I was lost in my own thoughts when Edward’s voice traveled across the pillow in the dark room.

“Bella? Are you awake?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” I responded. I opened my eyes and his head was turned in my direction. He looked sad.

“I’m sorry about the way I acted earlier. I shouldn’t have gotten so upset. I just had no idea and I just don’t really feel like myself yet. I never should have raised my voice at you. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I leaned over closer to him and grazed his cheek with the palm of my hand. “It’s okay, Edward. You’ve been through a lot. I understand. I’m just glad your still here.”

Edward scoffed. “I’ve been through a lot?” he asked. “Bella, what I’ve been through is nothing compared to what I’ve put you through...”

He attempted to go on, but I cut him off. “Stop, Edward. If I have chosen to forgive you, and I have, then you have to learn to forgive yourself. I’ll never forget it. I will never forget the way it made me feel, the way you made me feel, but I don’t want to remember it everyday. You were a different person then. I love who you are now. I’ve chosen to live in the present. I love you, and I love our son and I wouldn’t trade either of you for the world. It was a long, hard and painful road that brought us to this point, but I’m glad we made it, and I’m glad we’re together.”

Edward reached up and cradled my face in his hand. “You’re so incredible, you know?”

I smiled shyly and gently brushed his lips with mine.

“I love you, Bella. I love you so much that it is still hard for me to cope with what I did, to know that I hurt someone so badly that I love so much.”

I sighed. “Edward, you didn’t love me then. You didn’t know me. I mean, that doesn’t make it okay, I’m just ready to move on.”

“It doesn’t matter that I didn’t know you. You were still you. You were still beautiful, vibrant, innocent and full of life and I took that away from you and I took that away from the people that loved you.”

“And I’m trying to get it back, Edward. I’m trying to move on. Let me, please. Being pregnant again has brought back a huge array of emotions. The entire time I was carrying Masen, I felt like I was carrying a monster. I hated being pregnant and I was scared to death. I want it to be different with this baby. Regardless of everything we’ve been through, this baby was conceived in love and I want to love it. I want to enjoy being pregnant and I want to be present for it from here on out. I admit, I was concerned early on, not knowing if you would live or die. I couldn’t do this by myself again. But you’re here now and the baby is healthy and moving right along and it is a part of each of us. I refused to feel so many things when I was pregnant with Masen. I want to feel everything with this baby and I don’t want to be reminded how we got to this point. We are here, and we love each other, and this baby, and that’s all that matters, okay?”

Edward nodded his head and grinned before kissing me. I melted under his kiss. God, how I missed his touch, his lips, his sweet breath.

“I’m going to marry you one day, Bella,” he said between kisses.

I gasped, and my heart started racing. I couldn’t wait to be his wife; one day.

“Of course, that won’t be until I can walk myself down the damn aisle without a freaking walker!” he joked.

I giggled and continued to kiss him. “Marrying you would make me so happy. I love you, Edward.”

***

Neither of us really slept much that night. We laughed, kissed, touched, and talked about our future. We talked about where we would get married, what kind of ring I would want and how our children would be involved in the ceremony. We talked about baby names and how we would decorate his or her room.

In retrospect, that night was perfect. I wish we could get back to that place. Life was hard and punishing in the weeks to follow.


***Author’s Note: Hi everyone! Sorry for the delay in posting this chapter! Don’t worry yourselves too much w/ that last sentence in the chapter! There have been a lot of new readers *waves* - welcome to the bandwagon and thank you all again for the reviews! They’re great!

**Also, if you’re reading this on the Blog, you’re lucky! FF.net banned me from updating/posting to their website until 8-17-2010. So this chapter won’t be on there until then. You can thank some unruly bitches for that.

Follow me on Twitter for the latest updates: @ AllOrNothingKR

**CHAPTER 25 - CLICK HERE **

Repentance - Chapter 23

CHAPTER 23:

I went to work and was a complete and utter mess the entire time. I hated that my co-workers constantly asked me questions about Edward. If they really gave a damn, they would let me be there with him, and not in the office.

The day was unbelievably slow. As soon as the clock said 4:59 p.m. I was out of there. I rushed to the hospital and naturally went back to the ICU waiting room. Nobody was there. I called Esme and she informed me where they were.

I took the elevator three floors up to the recovery unit, where they had moved Edward earlier in the day. Esme and Carlisle were the only ones in the room. Edward looked a little better, but he was still out of it.

Carlisle said Edward was still breathing on his own and the swelling in his brain had gone down a little bit. He was beginning to bruise all over, but the swelling around his eyes had gone down.

Emse and I agreed to start taking shifts. She would stay with him during the day while I worked and I would spend the night with him. Carlisle convinced the hospital to bring in an additional bed, so I wouldn’t have to sleep on a cot or lumpy chair.

It felt strange being alone with Edward after Carlisle and Esme left. I felt the need to do something, to help him, to comfort him in some way, but I didn’t know what to do.

I eventually grew tired of staring at him and trying to get him to talk. I called Alice and spoke to her and Masen for a few minutes before deciding to go to bed. It was still a little early, but I was several days behind on sleep.

I climbed into the hospital bed, wishing I was strong enough to push it closer to Edward. I laid on my side, facing him and eventually drifted off to sleep to the rhythmic sound of some nearby beeping machine. I imagined it was Edward’s heart.

I woke some time later to the sound of Edward gasping for air and screaming. I climbed out of the bed quickly, losing my footing and falling on my right knee.

“Ouch!” I yelped and struggled to my feet. “Edward? It’s okay.”

Edward glanced at me quickly, he looked fearful and confused. “Where am I?”

“You’re in the hospital. You’re safe.”

His swollen eyes darted quickly around the room and he brought his hands to his head as if it hurt, and closed his eyes tightly.

I stood close to him and ran my hands through his messy hair. “How do you feel?”

He lowered his hands and looked up at me. “Am I alive?”

“Yes, of course you are.”

“I thought you were dead,” he said factually.

I shook my head. “No, I’m fine, Edward.”

“He said you were dead. He got to you before they came for me. I wanted to die.”

“Edward, stop. You’re not making any sense. I’m fine; Masen is fine. You’re the only one we’re worried about.”

“Masen? Where is he? Where is James?”

“Masen is with Alice. I don’t know where James is.”

“I have to find him.” Edward threw the blankets off of his lower extremities and attempted to get out of the bed, quickly learning he couldn’t move. He had a cast from the top of his right leg to just above his calf.

He looked at his leg. “What is this? I need to go.”

“Edward, lay down. Your leg is broken. You are not going anywhere.”

Edward suddenly screeched loudly and began gripping his right side. He looked down and held his hand up, it was covered in blood.

I gasped. “Edward, stop. Just lay down and relax. Stop moving!” I went to push the button to call the nurse.

“What happened to me?”

I ignored him and went to the door to meet the nurse.

“He’s bleeding from the right side; I don’t know where it is coming from.”

Two nurses rushed past me, one nearly slipping in the small pool of blood that had formed next to Edward’s bed.

Edward became combative, demanding to know what was going on. The nurses pulled up his gown and revealed a large gash in his side, it looked like a few of his stitches had pulled out from his surgery.

Edward started swinging his arms. “What the hell is this? Don’t touch me!” he screamed.

I rushed over to him, on the opposite side from the nurses who were dodging his failing arms. I brushed my fingers across his face. “Edward, please, calm down. They’re only trying to help you. Please! You’re going to hurt yourself even more.”

He suddenly relaxed and just stared at me blankly. “You’re really pretty.” He reached up and touched my cheek. “Who are you?”

Tears immediately pooled in my eyes. Edward was all over the place. He wasn’t making any sense. I glanced up at the nurses.

“It happens sometimes with a brain injury. He’ll be okay in a few days, don’t worry. We have to get him back to the operating room.” The two ladies unplugged a few things and began rolling Edward away. He started screaming at me.

“Bella? Bella! Don’t leave me!”

“I’ll be right here, Edward.” I choked out, before he disappeared through doorway.

I broke down once he was gone. He was completely all over the place. He knew me one minute and not the next. After I collected myself, I called Esme and Carlisle and let them know what happened. Carlisle assured me Edward would come through. He was just confused. Once the swelling subsided completely he would be back to his normal self. Esme was on her way before I got off the phone with Carlisle.

I sat and watched as someone came in to clean and disinfect Edward’s room. It seemed like Edward had been gone a long time. Esme arrived and Edward still hadn’t returned. She demanded answers from the nurses station, but nobody would tell us anything, only that he was still in surgery. They assured us it was nothing serious, that they just had to re-stitch his incision and clean it out.

Esme and I waited and waited. It was shortly before 2:00 a.m. when they rolled Edward back into the room. He was awake. The doctor said they only used a local anesthetic. He advised it would take some time for Edward to remember everything, but he would come around. The doctor and nurses finally left.

Esme went to Edward’s side immediately. “How are you feeling?”

Edward sighed. “Disoriented, confused, and in a world of pain. Where is Bella?”

Esme looked up at me. “She’s right here, Edward. On your left.”

I moved closer to him. His left eye was more swollen than the right, so I assumed I wasn’t in his peripheral vision. I set my hand on his bruised arm. “I’m here, Edward.”

“Are you okay?” he asked.

I nodded my head.

“Have they caught him?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. Everything is out now, the whole truth. I told them everything.”

“Good.”

“They said I didn’t have to press charges, but they want to speak with you. They want more details about the fraternity. They took my computer as evidence. They are in the process of contacting all the girls as well.”

“Where are you staying? Where is Masen?”

“I’ve either been here or with Alice. Masen is with Alice and Jasper. Alice and Rose cleaned up the apartment, so I’ll probably be going back there soon.”

Edward’s eyes grew large and he gripped my hand tightly. “No!”

“Edward, I can’t keep depending on Jasper and Alice. They have their own issues to deal with.”

“You are not going back there until James and Laurent are behind bars.”

“Who is Laurent?”

“The one you call Dreadlocks.”

“Oh. We can talk about it later. You should rest.”

Edward sighed. He looked to his mother. “When can I get out of here? Where is Dad? What’s my prognosis?”

Esme hesitated. “I don’t know when, Edward. Your right leg is broken. You were stabbed four times; you had major surgery. I imagine you will be here for a while. Even then, it will take some time. You will need a lot of physical therapy.”

Edward rolled his eyes. “I’m starving.”

“You cannot have anything yet, just some ice chips,” Esme said.

I reached over to the side table and pulled a few ice chips from the cup and put them against Edward’s dry and cracked lips. His tongue slipped out from between his lips, lightly brushing my finger tips and the ice chips were gone.

Esme stepped out to call Carlisle.

I fed Edward some more ice chips. When they were all gone I leaned down and whispered in his ear. “I love you, Edward. I was so worried. I’m sorry I didn’t believe you.”

I felt Edward’s arm come around me and his hand tangle in my hair. He breathed deeply. “Bella, I love you. How long have I been out? I feel like I haven’t seen you or touched you in a long time.”

“Just a few days.” I leaned back and hesitated. “Um, Edward? Do you remember me being there before the ambulance arrived?”

Edward’s eyes moved back and forth, as if he were searching his memory. “Vaguely, I think.”

“Do you remember anything you told me? Or anything I told you?”

Edward hesitated for a moment before looking up at me. “No, I don’t. Should I?”

I shrugged. “No, I was just curious.”

I knew I should tell him that I was pregnant, but he seemed too fragile. I wanted to wait until he was more stable.

“Will you bring Masen tomorrow?” he asked.

“Edward, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I don’t want him to see you like this, it might scare him. I don’t want him to worry. He has no idea what happened.”

“Oh,” Edward said, disappointed. “Okay. Will you tell him I miss him?”

“Of course, Edward.”

I was holding the left side of his face in the palm of my hand and he turned his head into my hand, nuzzling it.

“I’m sorry, Bella. I’m so tired.” He kissed my palm and closed his eyes. I noticed his skin felt warm, almost feverish.

“It’s okay, Edward. Go to sleep. I’ll be right here.” I kissed his forehead and when I was sure he was asleep, I went to find Esme.

Esme and I spoke briefly. She went back to her hotel and I went back to Edward’s room. He was awake when I came in.

“Where were you?” he asked.

“I just stepped out for a minute. Go back to sleep.” I climbed back into the bed next to his.

“Will you lay with me?” he asked, his voice laced with desperation.

I sighed. “Edward, I don’t think that’s a good idea. That’s a small bed. I don’t think the nurses would like that very much.”

“Please, Bella. I need you.”

My heart sank. I couldn’t say no to him. I got out of the bed I was in and climbed into Edward’s bed. It was higher than mine and fairly difficult to get in and out of. He tried to scoot over for me, but he couldn’t really move due to the cast on his leg. I laid on my side next to him, practically half on top of him.

“Are you uncomfortable?” he asked.

I was, but I wouldn’t tell him so. “No, I’m fine.” I looked up and kissed his lips briefly. “Go back to sleep, baby.”

Edward smiled and it made me feel better. I’d give anything to keep that smile on his face.

I snuggled in closer to him and fell asleep, listening to the sound of his heart beating again, finally.

I was woken up early the next morning by Carlisle.

“Bella, don’t you need to get to work?”

I rubbed my eyes and sat up. “Yea, what time is it?”

“Shortly after 7:00 a.m.”

“Where is Esme?” I asked.

“She was going to sleep a little late, so I came down to relieve you.”

“Oh, thank you.” After glancing at Edward and seeing that he was still sound asleep I crawled out of the bed. I gathered a few of my things and went back to Edward’s side before leaving.

“I have to go to work, Edward. I’ll be back this evening.” I kissed his forehead, expecting him to wake up, but he didn’t. “I love you.” I sighed and turned to leave when he didn’t respond.

I went to work and was actually semi-productive. I wasn’t as worried about Edward as I had been previously. I was glad he was coming to and doing better, or so it seemed.

I picked up Masen from daycare and took him to Alice and Jasper’s place. I filled them in on Edward’s condition and that I thought he was doing better. Masen had a huge temper tantrum before I left because he couldn’t go see Edward with me. I felt terrible, but I just didn’t want him to see Edward in that condition and I didn’t want Masen exposed to all the germs and illness in the hospital. I didn’t need two sick boys.

I returned to the hospital and made my way to the recovery floor. Sometimes the place was like a maze. I accidentally went into the wrong room at first, but nobody was in there.

I made my way back to the nurses station and went across to the opposite wing and entered the second room on the left. There was an elderly lady in the bed who sounded like she was hacking up a lung. I shuddered and went back the in the direction I came. I had gotten so turned around. I stood in the middle of the nurses station, near the elevators and retraced my steps. I went back down the right wing and into the second room on the left. I was sure this was Edward’s room. The room was empty. I suddenly began to panic. Where was he? Why hadn’t anyone called me?

I returned to the nurses station and inquired about him.

“He’s back in ICU,” the old overweight lady said without even acknowledging my presence.

“Why? What happened?” I asked.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to ask them.” She turned away from me suddenly and went about doing something else on a nearby computer.

I scoffed and headed back to the elevators. My heart was racing. He was doing better I thought. I hurried down to ICU and of course I couldn’t see him. I made my way to the general waiting room area where I saw Esme and Carlisle.

“What is going on?” I asked. “Why didn’t someone call me!” I nearly screamed.

Esme had been crying. Her eyes were red and puffy. Carlisle stood quickly and came to me, trying to get me to be quiet.

“He took a turn for the worse, Bella.” Carlisle said as he put his arm around me.

I shrugged out of his embrace. “What do you mean? He was fine when I left this morning.”

“He began to run a very a high fever. They believe he has some sort of infection. They’re trying to control it with antibiotics.”

I sat down in a nearby chair and crossed my arms. I was furious. I couldn’t comprehend what I was hearing. “Why didn’t you call me?” I asked through tear filled eyes. “You don’t know what it was like going into his room and realizing he wasn’t there!”

“I’m sorry, Bella. We weren’t thinking.”

I sighed and turned away from them, anxiously watching the clock on the wall. Thirty more minutes until visiting time.

I went to see Edward first while Esme and Carlisle waited. He looked about the same, but definitely feverish. He skin was flushed and his hair was damp. Maybe he was sweating and his fever was breaking. I grabbed a notepad nearby and began to fan him with it.

He was groggy but eventually opened his eyes. “Where am I?” he asked.

“You’re back in ICU. How do you feel?”

He just groaned, he didn’t really respond.

I kissed his cheek. “I’m sorry you’re in so much pain.”

His eyes opened and he looked straight at me. “I just want to go home, Bella.”

My heart broke. “I know you do, baby. You have to get better first.”

Edward nodded his head and drifted back to sleep.

I left so Carlisle and Esme could have a few minutes with him.

After they returned to the waiting room, I apologized for getting upset with them earlier and I went to class since there was nothing else I could do.

Over the next week I visited Edward as much as I could. They finally got his temperature under control and moved him back to a recovery room. Things seemed like they were finally starting to progress, albeit slowly, for Edward.

**CHAPTER 24 - CLICK HERE**

Repentance - Chapter 22

CHAPTER 22:

When Emmett and I made it back to the hospital, all the same people were still there. Nothing had changed, except we would be allowed to see Edward, only for ten minutes, and only one at a time.

Everyone graciously let me go first.

I wasn’t prepared for what I saw. He was lifeless. He was bruised from head to toe. He had a breathing tube down his throat and a million more wires and tubes coming from all over.

I tried not to cry, I really did. I took a deep breath and approached him. I leaned down and gently caressed his cheek. “Hey, baby.” I kissed his opposite cheek. “I can’t stay long, everyone wants to see you.”

I squeezed his hand, and looked at his face, hoping to see any sign that he could hear me. There was nothing. He felt cold. I pulled the blanket over him and tucked it in at his sides.

I leaned down and whispered in his ear. “Edward, I have to go. I love you. Please don’t leave me.” I kissed his cheek again and reluctantly left the room so the next person could come in.

I fell apart shortly thereafter. He looked terrible, like he was in so much pain. I got the feeling, after leaving his room, that nothing would ever be the same. It didn’t matter if he survived, things would never be the same.

Nanna Cullen offered me her time with him, but I declined.

“No, you go ahead. He would want to see you, to know that you’re here.”

She finally agreed.

Everyone was pretty torn up after seeing him. We wouldn’t be allowed to see him again until the following day.

Mr. and Mrs. Cullen, along with Nanna Cullen, got a hotel room near the hospital. Mr. and Mrs. Cullen offered to get me a room as well, but I assured them I could stay with Alice.

Emmett took me back to our building. I told him I could walk to Alice’s. He initially refused, but I told him I needed time to think straight, and he eventually agreed. I waited around the corner for about half an hour. When I was sure he would be inside his own apartment, I went back to mine.

I had spoken with an investigator. They completed their investigation and took everything they needed. I could clean up now.

I slowly entered the apartment. It looked different from the last time I was here. All the little evidence markers and the baseball bat were gone. It looked like someone even initially wiped the floor clean, but the stains were still there.

I spent hours scrubbing the floor with water and vinegar. It mostly came clean with the exception of some of the blood that was between the hardwood. The walls were another story. They were splattered with blood. Initially, nothing I did seemed to help. I eventually resorted to my magic eraser and it took the blood off, but also a good layer of paint. I could re-paint.

I was cleaning up in the kitchen when I heard someone come in the door.

“Isabella Marie Swan!”

Alice. Shit.

I stepped out of the kitchen to face her. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be at my place. Emmett called to make sure you got there okay. I thought I might find you here.”

“I’m sorry. I had to clean up. I can’t stay with you forever.”

“Bella, when is the last time you slept?”

I looked down. I really didn’t know. “I’m not sure exactly.”

Alice stomped over to me and took the sponge from my hand. She tossed it in the sink. “I’ll take care of everything here. You don’t worry about it. I’m taking you to my place and you’re sleeping the entire night. Do you understand?”

I sighed and nodded my head in understanding. I was exhausted.

I had hoped to sleep. I think I did, at least for a couple of hours. Masen slept in the bed with me. I couldn’t stop staring at him, watching him sleep. He was so peaceful and oblivious to what was going on around him. I envied him. He looked so much like his father. I told him about Edward and that he would have a new brother or sister soon. He was asleep, of course, and didn’t hear a word I said.

I woke up shortly after 5:00 a.m. after a bad nightmare. I woke Masen too.

Masen sat up at looked at me.

“I’m sorry, honey. Go back to sleep.”

“Everything be okay, momma. I know.” He kissed my cheek and hugged my neck and it took everything inside me not to fall apart. “Daddy be okay.”

I looked at him, confused. How did he know? Did Alice tell him? “What’s wrong with Daddy, Masen?”

Masen sighed. “I dunno, Mamma. He said he be okay.” Masen rolled over and went back to sleep. He wasn’t making any sense.

I got up and made a pot of coffee, waiting for Alice to get up. She eventually did and she assured me that neither she nor Jasper had even mentioned Edward’s name.

I suddenly panicked that something had happened to Edward in the middle of the night. What if he passed?

“I’ve got to get to the hospital.”

“Bella, you’re over reacting. Maybe Masen just had a weird dream, I’m sure that’s hereditary.”

I blew her off and dressed quickly. I made my way to the door.

“Bella?”

I turned around to see Alice holding a set of keys in her hand. “Rose left these for you. Edward’s car is in the garage.”

“Thank you.” I hugged her briefly before heading out.

Edward’s car was fast. I liked it. I got to the hospital rather quickly. I wasn’t allowed in ICU because it wasn’t regular visiting hours. I looked in the private waiting room we were all in the day before. Esme was sitting against the wall, asleep. There was nobody else there. She hadn’t changed clothes.

I shook her lightly. “Esme?”

Esme startled and sat up straight. “What? Is he okay?” she asked.

“I don’t know, I was going to ask you the same thing. I just got here. I thought you were going home.”

Her eyes instantly became damp. “I couldn’t leave, Bella.”

I nodded my head. “Has anything changed?”

Esme shook her head. “They are supposed to be removing the breathing tube this afternoon to see how he does on his own.”

I sighed. I guess that was a good thing. “When can we see him again?”

“We can have ten minutes, beginning at 9:00 a.m.”

“They are really stingy with time around here.”

Esme almost laughed. “They don’t want the patients to get excited. If he does okay without the breathing tube, after he wakes up, they may move him out of ICU and to a recovery room.”

“Oh, that would be great. We’d never have to leave!”

Esme smiled. “My thoughts exactly.”

I smiled weakly at her. “Esme, I’ll be here. Why don’t you at least go back to the hotel and shower and change. That way you can be back by 9:00 a.m.”

Esme looked torn. “I don’t know, Bella. I just can’t leave him. Imagine if it were Masen, would you be able to leave?”

That was the end of that. “No,” I answered honestly.

For some reason, I felt uncomfortable in the room with Esme. I felt like I was keeping something from her. I should tell the Cullens about my pregnancy, but I wasn’t ready. I wanted Edward to know first, and actually acknowledge it. I wasn’t even sure if he would remember that I told him.

“I’m going to grab some coffee, would you like some?” I asked.

“Oh, that would be wonderful, Bella. Thank you.”

I took my time getting the coffee. I ate a blueberry muffin while I sipped my coffee inside the little coffee shop at the hospital. When I finished my muffin, I was still starving. I bought two more and headed back to ICU.

“I brought us some breakfast,” I said, as I handed Esme a muffin and coffee. I tore into my muffin immediately. She would surely know something was up if I had eaten two in front of her, they were pretty big.

Esme and I didn’t speak much as we ate our breakfast. Nine o’ clock was quickly approaching and I sat wondering if anyone else would show up. I secretly hoped they didn’t. Esme and I could each have five whole minutes with him.

The clock finally struck 9:00 a.m. I urged Esme to go first, and she agreed. I paced the room nervously.

Esme returned only three minutes later, with tears in her eyes. I hugged her when she came back into the room.

“He just looks like he’s in so much pain, Bella.”

I suddenly felt terrible. If it wasn’t for me, Edward wouldn’t be in this position. If I had of listened to him from the beginning about James. I sighed and apologized to Esme before stepping out of the room to go see Edward.

He looked worse than he did the day before. The nurse promised me he was doing better though. His face was more swollen and bruised than I remembered. His left eye was practically swollen shut.

I held his hand and leaned over him. I ghosted my fingers over the only unbruised part of his face. I kissed his cheek. “I’m so sorry, Edward.”

I thought I faintly felt his hand move in mine.

I leaned down to him again, whispering in his ear, “Can you hear me, baby?”

His index finger twitched in my hand, and I smiled. I stood straight up to alert the nurse, but realized she was no longer in the room. I wasn’t going to find her. I wanted my remaining four minutes.

I continued to hold Edward’s hand and I told him that they would only let us see him for a few minutes, twice a day. Otherwise, I never would’ve left his side. I told him his mom and dad were here, and Nanna Cullen, too. I told him we were all doing okay, including Masen, and that Emmett was keeping a close eye on me. He didn’t have anything to worry about. I told him I loved him, and I tried to get him to move his hand again, but he never did. Maybe I imagined it to begin with. I left his room feeling slightly depressed, but hopeful.

I left the hospital after that, knowing I couldn’t see him again until 5:00 p.m. I went by Alice’s to see Masen. I urged them to go out to lunch together, or something, anything. I felt horrible that they were having to keep Masen. They would have a child of their own soon, and never have alone time. Alice and Jasper went to lunch, while I stayed behind in Alice’s apartment and made lunch for Masen.

I was trying to ignore him.

He just kept repeating, “I want to play wit Daddy. Where’s daddy?” from the living room as I stood in the nearby kitchen.

He must have said the same thing four or five times before I lost it. “He’s not here, Masen!” I screamed at him.

I peeked around the corner to see big tears swelling up in his eyes. I tried to apologize, but when I saw his lip quiver and and his nose crinkle up, I knew my attempts were useless. He cried out at the top of his lungs. He rarely cried like that unless he was in trouble. His sobs were deafening and his face was bright red. I went to him quickly, where he was sitting in the floor, innocently playing before I yelled at him.

I scooped him up and rocked him like a baby, feeling my tears coming on. “I’m sorry, Masen. I didn’t mean to yell at you. Shhh, calm down. You’re going to make yourself sick.”

Nothing seemed to soothe him, and we both sat in the middle of Alice’s living room crying our eyes out for entirely too long.

I cried because I yelled at him and he didn’t do anything wrong. I cried because his father was in a hospital on his death bed, and it was my fault. I cried because I wasn’t sure I even wanted the baby inside of me, I just wanted the one currently in my arms to live a perfect and pain free life. I couldn’t possibly love anything more than I loved Masen. I cried because I didn’t know how to live without Edward and I didn’t know how I would ever be able to tell Masen he was gone, permanently, if it ever came down to it.

Masen eventually cried himself to sleep in my arms. I tried to carry him to the couch so he could take a nap, but my hair was fisted in his tiny fingers and no matter how gently I tried to remove them, he wasn’t budging.

“Stay, Momma.” he finally whimpered; and so I did. I sat on the couch while he napped in my lap.

I was too exhausted to continue reliving the nightmare of the past couple of days, so I laid my head back against the couch and fell asleep.

We were awoken some time later when Alice and Jasper came through the door laughing.

They got quiet when they realized they had woken us.

“Oh, sorry, Bella.”

I shook my head. “I don’t know how long I’ve been out. I need to get up. I need to get back.”

Jasper removed a still groggy Masen from my lap. I stood, and kissed Masen’s cheek. “I love you, sweet boy.”

Masen clung to Jasper’s neck, his head and disheveled hair against Jasper’s shoulder. Masen looked at me with the saddest eyes I’d ever seen and said, “Miss you, Mama.”

I had to turn away from him so I didn’t completely lose it. Sometimes, he looked like a spitting image of Edward. What had I done to deserve this? To be living my dream one minute, and shattered and pregnant the next, and then back to a dream and a beautiful life, to this. To feeling like I was on the edge of losing everything.

Alice hugged me, as Jasper carried Masen back down the hallway toward the spare room.

“I’m losing it, Alice,” I cried.

Alice soothed me. “It’s perfectly okay, Bella. It’s okay to lose it.”

I sniffled and stood back from her. “Please keep this,” I lightly placed my hand over my stomach, “between us.”

Alice nodded her head. “Of course, Bella. Don’t worry about a thing. Take all the time you need. Having Masen here has been fun for both of us. It’s like a test run!”

I nearly laughed, grateful I had such an amazing friend in her. I told her I loved her before heading back to the hospital.

Once I arrived, so had several others. Esme was still there. Now, Carlisle, Nanna Cullen, and Rose had all joined.

“How is he?” I asked.

Carlisle was first to answer. “They removed the breathing tube. He’s stable.”

I knew Carlisle knew more than he was letting on, he was a doctor for goodness sakes.

“Carlisle, please,” I begged. “I need to know the truth.” Big tears blurred my vision and I fought desperately to keep them from pouring over. “I can’t look at Masen and tell him his daddy will be home soon, if he’s never coming home.”

Carlisle looked down and away from me. “I don’t know, Bella. I just don’t know. It’s too early to tell. He’s still non-responsive, but the fact that he’s breathing on his own is a good sign.”

I sighed and collapsed on a chair nearby.

I only got to see him for two minutes that evening. Everyone else wanted to see him too. He didn’t look that different. I wanted him to wake up so bad. I just wanted to see his green eyes.

I knew I needed to go home that evening. If I wanted to keep my job, I had to be at work the next day.

Emmett insisted on following me. He was out of his car and to my driver’s side window before I even got my car in park inside the apartment garage. I rolled down my window.

“What are you doing here? You’re not staying here.”

“Why not?” I asked. “Rose and Alice cleaned the apartment.”

Emmett looked at me like I had four heads. “Bella, he knows where you live. You’re not staying here.”

Tears stung my eyes and a giant lump formed in my throat. I know it was sort of sick and selfish, but I wanted nothing more than to curl up in our bed, that smelled of Edward, and cry my eyes out. I didn’t care if James found me. I deserved whatever punishment he would cast upon me.

I just wanted to feel closer to Edward. I sighed. Maybe I could bargain with him.

“Well, I need to get some clothes. Will you come in with me for a few minutes?”

Emmett huffed and puffed, and finally agreed.

When we entered the apartment, it was sparkling. They even painted. It smelled fresh and clean, and I was suddenly concerned that my bed may not smell like Edward anymore.

“Stay here,” I said to Emmett, as I motioned towards the couch. “I may be a few minutes.”

I went to our room and quietly closed the door behind me. I collapsed onto our bed and as soon as I inhaled his scent, the waterworks began. I clung to his pillow as I cried, apologizing to it, as if he could hear me.

I guess I stayed in there too long. Emmett knocked lightly, not waiting for my response, and pushed open the door.

I looked up at him and he sighed. “Bella, come on. You can’t do this all night. I know this is hard on you, but I have to make sure you’re safe and I’d like to get home to my wife and daughter.”

I cried even harder. I got up and packed a bag with a few more things and let Emmett follow me to Alice’s place.

I spent the night there with Masen. I didn’t sleep well at all. I couldn’t stop thinking about Edward. I kept wondering if he was okay. What if he woke up and I wasn’t there? I tossed and turned all night. At one point, Masen rolled over, facing me, and sighed. He reached his little hands up to my face and closed my eye lids. “Sleep, Mamma,” he said softly. I tried, I really did.

I eventually got up earlier than I should have and decided I would go by the hospital before going into work.

I wasn’t allowed to see him, but I did get to check in with Esme. Nothing had really changed, but he was still breathing well on his own. They planned on moving him to a recovery room later that afternoon. I guess that was a good thing. I continued on to work, hoping it would be a distraction from everything that was wrong in my life.

**CHAPTER 23 - CLICK HERE**

Repentance - Chapter 21

CHAPTER 21:

I got home in record time. There was no traffic. No accidents.

The bus stop was about a block away from our building. As I was walking toward the building, two men came out of it that looked strange. They were carrying a large bag and walking fast. As they got closer, I realized it was James and Dreadlocks.

I gasped, and ducked into the nearby alley. I went through the alley and into the parking garage for our building. I went immediately to the elevator in case they saw me, and I noticed Edward’s car in the garage.

I swear the elevator wouldn’t move fast enough. I had to get off the elevator in the lobby and get on a different elevator that went up higher. I finally got to our floor. The apartment door was unlocked. I quietly pushed it open, and what I saw before me, I will never forget.

I screamed at the top of my lungs. There was blood everywhere. Everywhere. On the walls, the floor, the ceiling even. Edward was in a pool of blood on the floor. I wasn’t sure if he was alive or dead. I grabbed my phone and called Rose, I told her to send Emmett and call 911.

I fell to my knees next to Edward and cried out his name. He coughed as if he were choking, and blood dribbled out the side of his mouth. I titled his head to the side so he wouldn’t choke on it. His eyes opened slightly.

“Edward, please. Hang on. The paramedics are coming. Who did this? Did James do it?”

Edward nodded his head weakly and I cried. I didn’t care that his blood was all over me. I kissed his forehead and smoothed his hair back. “I’m sorry, baby. I’m so sorry. I believe you. I trust you. I forgive you, for everything. Please don’t leave me.”

Edward gurgled and didn’t respond. There was so much blood I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.

There was definitely a large amount of blood coming from his neck. I grabbed a towel from the linen closet and applied pressure the best I could. I sobbed uncontrollably. He didn’t know what I knew. He may die and never know.

His eyes were closed, his body still. I leaned down and whispered in his ear, “Edward, please. Don’t give up. Don’t leave me. Edward, I’m pregnant.”

His eyes shot open and he began to cough up a lot of blood. He tried to speak but it wasn’t making any sense.

“Key. Gold key. Drawer. To the shoe box.”

“What are you talking about, baby? I don’t understand...”

He continued mumbling something about a gold key, but I couldn’t understand him and I urged him to stay quiet, fearing it would further complicate his situation.

Seconds later Emmett came rushing through the door. He got more towels and cut open Edward’s shirt to see where all the blood was coming from. It looked like he had been stabbed, multiple times.

As we attempted to clean Edward up and find out where all his wounds were, I heard sirens outside and it was like music to my ears.

Moments later the paramedics arrived. They worked quickly. They cleared his airway and gave him oxygen before placing his lifeless body on the stretcher and carrying him away.

I fell to pieces in his absence. I sat in the pool of blood he previously laid in, because it was a part of him. I cried and cried and wished the blood was mine instead of his. Emmett repeatedly tried to get me to get up and go with him to the hospital but I was frozen, shocked, and I refused to leave. I refused to go to the hospital and watch him die.

When Emmett realized he wasn’t getting through to me, he left. At the time I didn’t know where he went. I curled up in a little ball on the floor. To hate blood so much, I sure had it all over me. I didn’t care. I was devastated. I knew it would be just my luck. It wasn’t enough to find out the man I was in love with raped me and fathered my child. No, he raped me, fathered my child, fell in love with me, admitted the truth, I still loved him, wrongly accused him of something he didn’t do, and then he dies, because of me and all the while I was carrying his second child.

The thoughts made me physically ill. I couldn’t raise another child. Not without him. I couldn’t look at another child’s face and see Edward for the rest of my life if he wasn’t here. I wouldn’t.

Something hitting the floor nearby shook me from my thoughts. I glanced towards the door to see Rose standing there, her purse on the floor, her mouth hanging open.

“Bella, what the fuck happened?”

I cried. “James did it. I don’t know exactly what transpired. He’s gone, Rose.”

“No, he’s not!” Rose cried. “Emmett said he was still alive when they took him. Get up and get out of this mess right now! We have to get to the hospital! If anybody can get through to him, it’s you!”

I continued to cry, and sat up slowly. I was covered in Edward’s blood. The police began to arrive to work the crime scene. Rose took me to the bathroom, stripped me of my clothes, and left me standing under a cold shower. I could hear her going through the drawers in my bedroom. She came back, a bag packed in her hand. She turned the water off and threw a towel at me.

“Dry off and get dressed. Now!”

I did as she demanded, throwing on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. I pulled my wet hair up in a bun. When we tried to leave, we were stopped by the police. They wanted a statement from me. Rose insisted we had to get to the hospital. She took charge. I loved for her for that.

She told the police officer if he wanted a statement, he could ride with us to the hospital, and that’s what he did.

I told the truth, about everything, from the beginning. I left nothing out. They couldn’t press charges on Edward if he wasn’t alive. I was sure he was gone. He was so pale and lifeless. I became hysterical every time I imagined his face before they took him away. I had to mentally prepare myself for arriving at the hospital and them telling me he didn’t make it.

As soon as I described James and Dreadlocks, the investigator was on the phone with someone, relaying their descriptions. Thank goodness. They had to find to them.

I admired Rose’s strength from the backseat of her BMW. She was fierce. She was scared, and worried, but she remained strong. At least one of us had our shit together.

“Where’s Masen?” I suddenly asked.

“He’s with Emmett. Relax, Bella. Everything is going to be okay.”

I sighed and sat back in my seat. Although it was only a few minutes, the ride to the hospital felt like an eternity. There were other investigators there when we arrived. They were first in line to talk to Edward when, and if, he came out of surgery. That pissed me off.

It was a long agonizing night. Edward was in surgery for nearly eight hours. Afterwards, he was placed into a medically induced coma. At least he was alive.

The investigators eventually tired, and went home to their wives and children, promising to return the following afternoon.

Edward’s parents and Nanna Cullen had arrived. We had a brief meeting with his surgeon. He had been stabbed four times and suffered some blunt force trauma to his head and knees. Edward’s right leg was broken. His intestines had to be reconstructed and tears in his stomach stitched back together. He had a large cut across his neck. The doctor said the knife just barely missed his carotid artery. He had a small amount of bleeding and swelling on his brain, but they thought it would go down. The doctor said it was a waiting game. The next 48 hours were critical. If he survived them, the outlook would be better, but still not good.

I felt light headed. This was entirely too much to deal with.

Nanna Cullen insisted I go back to Rose and Emmett’s and rest. I hadn’t slept all night. I reluctantly agreed, after I was told there was no chance of seeing Edward for the next several hours. Emmett insisted on coming with me. He had taken Masen to Alice and Jasper’s and baby Emmalie was with Emmett’s mother. It dawned on me that I knew nothing about Emmett’s mother. I made a mental note to ask him about her later. I tried to tell Emmett that he should stay with Rose, but he insisted.

“I’m coming with you, Bella,” Emmett said adamantly. He lowered his voice. “If Edward pulls through this, and something happens to you, he would never forgive me.”

Who knew Emmett had a softer side? I hugged him tightly, and then agreed that he could come with me.

Emmett drove me back to his apartment. He insisted I could have his and Rose’s bed to rest. I declined because I had other ideas.

“Emmett, really. I’ll be fine on the couch. Please, you should rest too. You can’t just sit here and watch me sleep.”

“I guess you’re right. I am tired. Yell at me if you need anything, okay?”

“Okay.”

Emmett went to his room and closed the door. I laid on the couch with my eyes open for a good hour before I had the nerve to tip toe back to his room. I stood outside his door, listening. He was snoring. Perfect.

I quietly made my way out the front door. I went up to mine and Edward’s apartment. I stood outside the door momentarily. My heart raced. I didn’t want to see it again, but I needed in there.

I unlocked the door. The smell hit me first. It was a mixture of copper and ammonia. There were little cardboard markers in certain places. I guess those identified evidence. The blood was still there. Everywhere. I tip toed around the room, careful not to step in anything or disturb anything.

Just before I entered the hallway to go to our room, I noticed a bloody baseball bat lying just inside the kitchen with a little marker next to it. I felt my heart sink to the pit of my stomach, imagining the pain Edward must have gone through.

I continued into our bedroom. I was glad it appeared to be as I had left it. I started pulling drawers out everywhere. Edward mentioned something about a gold key and drawer and shoebox before they took him to the hospital. I had to figure out what that meant. I searched through every drawer and came up with nothing.

I was growing frustrated and decided to go back through the drawers more thoroughly. That’s when I heard it. I heard a little noise, the sound of metal hitting wood. I was in Edward’s sock drawer. I continued moving things around until I found it, a single gold key.

“Okay, now I have a key and no idea what it goes to.” I recalled Edward mentioned a shoe box. I was uncertain how a key would go to a shoe box, but I went to our closet to check it out anyway.

Edward and I both had shoeboxes on the top shelf of our closet. I grabbed a step stool and began going through each one of them. Shoes, shoes, and more shoes. I think Edward had more shoes than I did.

It was nearly the last box that caught my attention. It was really heavy. I opened the lid and noticed a metal box inside. I pulled the entire shoe box from the shelf and sat down in the middle of the closet. I lifted the metal locked box from the shoe box. It had a gold lock on the front.

I became slightly nervous about what was inside the box. I couldn’t deal with anymore unsuspected secrets from Edward. He told me about it, only after learning that I was pregnant. I concluded there was probably cash inside. Always like Edward to make sure we were taken care of.

I slipped the key inside the lock and turned it. The lock clicked open. I released it, and opened the metal box. There wasn’t cash inside, there were papers, a lot of papers.

There was a living will. “Oh no.” I glanced at it quickly. He didn’t want to be resuscitated or remain on life support for an extended period of time. I felt tears sting my eyes.

“I’m sorry, Edward. I’m selfish. I need you.” I tore the living will into tiny pieces, hoping another copy didn’t exist anywhere else.

I pulled out the next document, which was folded, with several pages behind it. I opened it up. It was Edward’s Last Will & Testament. I sat in the closet and weeped. He knew he was going to die. I wiped my eyes and began reading.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. He had left everything he owned to me, Masen, and any future children we may have. He even had a trust fund set up for Masen. The entire Cullen family had contributed to it. They all knew about this and I didn’t! I began to get angry, but decided it wasn’t worth it. Edward didn’t tell me because he knew I’d react exactly like this.

Edward even left his inheritance to Masen, and of course his guitar. I laughed at the thought.

I continued skimming the pages. The document was created and signed shortly after Edward and I went on our first date. That made me tear up even more. He knew he loved us that much from the beginning. Everything he had said all along was true.

I sighed. It had nearly been two days since I had seen Masen. I wanted to see him. I missed him.

I placed the documents back inside the box and put them back where I found them, hoping it would be unnecessary to ever have to use them.

I packed a few more things for myself and made Masen a bag. I gathered our stuff and carefully made my way out of the apartment, ignoring the scene in the living room.

I went back to Rose and Emmett’s. Emmett was sitting on the couch.

“Where the hell have you been!” he screamed.

I sighed. “Sorry, I couldn’t sleep. I had to get some things for Masen and I,”I said as I sat the bags down.

“I want to go to Alice’s. I want to see Masen.”

Emmett sighed. “Fine.” He stood from the couch and grabbed my bags. I followed him out of the apartment.


We made our way to Alice and Jasper’s. Alice opened the door and immediately embraced me.

“Bella, I’m so sorry.”

I hugged her, hard. She felt like home. “Thank you for keeping Masen. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“It’s no problem at all. We will keep him as long as you need. Jasper is becoming quite fond of him.”

Alice and I both glanced back into the living room where Jasper and Masen were playing with a book that makes animal sounds. Jasper would imitate the sound the animal made and send Masen into a laughing fit.

It made me smile. I didn’t want Masen to know what was going on. I wanted him to remain carefree and happy.

I stepped inside and when Masen realized I was there, he came running to me.

“Mamma!” he yelled.

I kneeled down and opened my arms to him. “Hi, honey. Are you having fun?” I held Masen close. I tried, and failed, to keep my tears at bay. He looked more like Edward every day.

Masen pulled away from me. He lifted his little hand and wiped a single tear from my cheek. “Mamma sad?” he asked.

I shook my head and tried to smile. “I’m okay, baby. You are going to stay with Ms. Alice for a few days. But I’ll come by to visit you, okay?”

Masen nodded his head. He knew something wasn’t right, but he didn’t understand what it was.

We played briefly before I asked to speak to Alice alone. We went back into her and Jasper’s spare bedroom, which had become an office.

We sat down on the small couch and I couldn’t help but cry.

Alice hugged me. “Oh, Bella. Everything will be okay.”

“What if it’s not?” I asked.

“You need to stay positive.”

I shook my head. “It’s so hard.”

“I know,” Alice responded.

“Alice, there’s something you don’t know. Nobody does. I haven’t told anyone. I told Edward just before they took him, but I don’t know if he’ll even remember.”

Alice looked at me, confused. “Bella, what is it?”

I hung my head and cried. “I’m pregnant.”

Alice gasped. “Bella! What? Since when? How?”

“When Edward and I went to San Diego,” I cried. “I hadn’t been taking the pill since he left. I needed to save the money. It just never crossed my mind. I’m so stupid. I should’ve known better.”

Alice sighed and rubbed my back. “How far along are you?”

“Twelve weeks.”

“Why hadn’t you told him? Or anyone for that matter?”

I shook my head. “I don’t know. I guess I thought it might go away,” I half heartedly laughed. “I was going to tell Edward, but then all that stuff happened with Tori and James and I was so mad at him.”

I looked up at Alice. “I can’t have this baby without him, Alice. I can’t.” I cried.

“Bella, stop that. You can and you will if you have to. Edward is still here. He’s not gone anywhere. There’s nothing to be ashamed of Bella. People in monogamous relationships have sex, and they get pregnant. It’s the 21st century, it happens to all of us.”

That didn’t sound like Alice. I looked up at her suspiciously. She was beaming, glowing even.

“Alice!” I screamed.

Alice giggled softly. “Sixteen weeks.”

“No way! Oh my God! Congratulations!” I hugged her. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!”

“We haven’t told anyone yet. I didn’t want to jinx anything, but so far everything is going well.”

I cried, I was happy for her.

“We’ll get through it together, Bella. You have to give me some pointers. I want to eat everything in sight!”

I laughed and hugged her. It felt good to laugh.

“Thanks for everything Alice. I’ve got to get back to the hospital.”

Alice nodded her head. “Keep me posted, and don’t worry about Masen.”

We made our back out to the living room. I said goodbye to Jasper and Masen before Alice walked Emmett and I to the door.

Alice gave me another hug. “Bella, I know there’s a lot going on, but don’t forget to take care of yourself, okay? When is the last time you ate? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, mom.”

Emmett and I got on our way back to the hospital. I felt so much better about everything after speaking to Alice. Up to this point, I was devastated about being pregnant. I realized now, it wasn’t going away.

“Emmett, can we stop to get something to eat? I need to eat.”

“Sure.”

I placed my hand on my stomach, which so far, had only grown slightly. For the first time, I felt connected to the baby, because it was a part of Edward and me. This baby was created out of love, not forcefulness and terror as Masen had been. I shuddered at the thought. I still couldn’t comprehend how the man that did that to me, was the same one I was in love with, and the same one that I was desperate to have survive.

My stomach growled loudly, pulling me from my thoughts. Emmett heard it over the radio. “God, Bella! When’s the last time you ate? It sounds like there’s something living in there!” he teased.

I laughed half heartedly. If only he knew. “I don’t know, Emmett. It’s been a while. Eating hasn’t necessarily been on my high priority list.”

“Well it is now!” he said as he turned the car into a fast food place.

We went inside to eat. I didn’t think I could handle trying to eat while Emmett drove like maniac.

We ate in silence as I watched toddlers play on the indoor playground. I don’t think I ate a third of what I ordered. Seeing a young dad playing with his daughter was enough to make me feel sick.

“I’m not really hungry anymore. Can we just go?” I asked.

Emmett nodded his head, sensing my uneasiness and we left for the hospital.

**CHAPTER 22 - CLICK HERE**