Elusive Reality - Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

London, England - 2004

I awoke the following morning to a gourmet breakfast, served to me in bed on a little tray, complete with a small vase of freshly picked flowers. It was like something you only saw on a Lifetime movie. I was almost speechless.

“Edward! I can’t believe you did all this!” I said as I sat up and pulled the sheet around me.

“Well, I couldn’t get you to wake up, so I got bored. I went to the store; I made everything myself!”

I laughed. Edward was proud of himself. “What time is it?”

“Almost 11:00 a.m.”

“I can’t believe I sleep so long. You really did a number on me last night,” I teased as I kissed him. He was so cute. We hurried through our breakfast so we could have each other for lunch.

~

Later that afternoon I attempted to call Jake to see if he was still at my place because I needed to go home to get some studying done. When I got no response, I decided I’d take my chances.

“I’ll walk you home,” Edward offered.

“You don’t have to. I’ll be okay, he’s probably not there.”

“I want to, just incase.”

I knew Edward’s concerns were pointless, but I allowed him to walk me home so he would feel better.

We went up to my flat and I opened the locked door and was completely unprepared for what awaited me on the other side.

I stepped inside and was at a loss for words as I took in the condition of my belongings. Everything was in disarray. Jake had trashed the place. A photo of Edward and I that had previously been on my nightstand, was now torn to pieces in a pile of broken glass from it’s frame. The mattress of my bed was thrown up against the wall. My drawers were pulled from the dressers, clothes and other belongings were strewn throughout the small space. There was a hole punched through the door that led to the bathroom. A sob escaped me and I turned to Edward.

His arms were already opened for me and I fell into them.

“I’m sorry, Bella.”

“I know he’s mad, but this is ridiculous!”

I took a few minutes to collect myself and then I started assessing the situation and where I would begin.

“Don’t even think about it,” Edward chimed in.

I turned to face him. “What do you mean? I can’t leave it like this.”

“You have an exam tomorrow. You have to maintain your GPA in order to stay in the program. His antics are not going to dictate your life. Why don’t you go to the library and study for a little while and I will clean up around here enough to make it livable.”

I sighed. “This isn’t your responsibility. I don’t want you to have to do this.”

“I don’t mind. Go on.”

I sighed and reluctantly agreed. It took us twenty additional minutes to find the textbook I needed.

~

Edward’s POV

I was so pissed off. If I thought I could take him, and if I knew where he was, I would do serious damage to Jake. I mean, who did he think he was? If he loved her, how could he destroy all of her belongings like this? It was even worse than we first suspected. It appeared that he had poured a liquid substance over her pile of bedding and many of her clothes. Based on the trash lying around in the kitchen area, it appeared that it was a mixture of milk and cranberry juice.

I wasn’t exactly domestic, and I began to think that this mess was bigger than me. I called for backup.

“Hello, Mother, are you busy?”

“Hi darling! I’m just catching up on some reading. How are you?”

“Um, well, I’ve actually got a bit of a mess on my hands. You think you could come by?”

“Of course, what’s going on?” Esme asked.

“I’ll explain when you get here. I’m at Bella’s.” I gave her the address, told her to bring some cleaning supplies, and I got to work.

It was kind of strange, and intriguing, to wash Bella’s undergarments. I had to wash all of her clothes that were victim the milk and cranberry juice. There were several little undergarments that she had yet to debut in front of me.

I gathered her bedding and put it in a large trash bag. The milk was already starting to spoil. I’d buy her new bedding, it wasn’t worth the time or effort to attempt to save it. I was grateful the little bastard didn’t ruin her expensive mattress.

I heard a gentle knock on the door.

I let my mother in.

“Oh, Edward. What happened in here? Where is Bella? Is she okay?”

My mother immediately began moving things and cleaning.

“She was upset, but I sent her off to the library to study. I didn’t realize it was this bad when I agreed to clean it up for her.”

“Who did this? Was there a break-in? Was she here?”

I sighed. “No, her ex-boyfriend from the states showed up yesterday, he wasn’t too pleased to find us in bed together.”

My mother’s face flushed.

“Sorry, Mum. We are adults, we do adult things, in beds.”

Esme laughed. “I know, darling. It’s just such an unfortunate circumstance that he found the two of you like that.”

“You’re telling me. The guy is like seven feet tall and built like a horse. He’s a little intimidating. Bella assured me he was harmless, until we came back to this.”

Esme shook her head. “This is awful.”

We made a game plan and started cleaning. Once we had put a significant dent in things my mother insisted on going out to buy Bella new bedding and some accessories that had been damaged. I knew she would go overboard so I insisted on going with her. While we were shopping, an idea struck me. I saw a really nice picture frame that would replace the one that was broken, but I needed to replace the photo as well.

“Mum, I’m going to run home and get my camera and have a print made. Do you think you can handle it from here?” We had already picked out her bedding and I didn’t think there was much else to do.

“Of course, Edward. Do whatever you need to do.”

I handed her my credit card.

“Don’t be silly. It’s on me.”

“No way, Bella will flip out when she realizes I paid for all this. She will be bloody furious if she finds out you paid.”

“It’s just a couple hundred pounds, Edward. It’s not a big deal. I don’t ever get to buy things for you kids anymore.”

“She’s not your kid! And besides, a couple hundred pounds is a lot of money to her. She’s not used to our kind of wealth. I have to practically beg her to allow me to spend money on her.”

“Well, maybe if you play your cards right, she will be my kid-in-law one day,” she teased.

I rolled my eyes. I was never going to win. “Oh, Mother. Just hurry up, okay? I’ll tell her I paid for it and we got it on clearance. Understand?”

Esme giggled. “You didn’t say no! You think you will marry her?”

I laughed. “I have to go, Mum. See you in a bit.”

“Edward!”

I left the department store and went back to my flat. On the way there I got a text from Bella.

Is it safe to come home yet? - Bella

I responded immediately. No, it’s very unsafe. Please study more. - Edward

I got home and grabbed the memory card from my camera. I headed out to make a print of one of the photos we took at the London Eye. It was my favorite of her, of us.

Are you kidding? I want to come home. I’m tired. - Bella

I really didn’t want her to come home before we had her flat back to normal. I wanted it to be a bit of a surprise.

No, I’m not kidding. He emptied the contents of your refrigerator onto your clothes and bedding. I’m still cleaning. Give me another hour, please? That way you can come home and fall into bed and not lift a finger. - Edward

Her response came moments later.

I love you. I’ll see you in an hour or so. I guess I’ll be stopping at the store on the way back. - Bella

Her message made me smile and I hurried to get my errand done and get back to her flat.

~

When I arrived to Bella’s flat, I encountered exactly what I had feared. My mother went overboard. Her bedding is what we had picked out, but in addition were what seemed like a million accent pillows. The bedding was an ivory color, similar to what she previously had, but a bit more luxurious. It had a romantic feel to it. There was some metal sconces above her bed that were on either side of a metal piece of art. The candles in the sconces were lit. Her bedside table had been draped in an ivory cloth that matched her bedding. The empty picture frame sat there next to another lit candle. In fact, there were little ivory candles lit throughout the room. There were ivory sheers outlining the window as well.

I shook my head. “Mum! This is too much.”

“Oh, Edward. No it’s not. She will love it. It feels much more like a home now. Give me the print you made.”

I handed her the photo and she placed it in the frame. I had to admit, Bella’s place looked quite nice. Her bed looked really comfortable and inviting. I really wanted to see her in it, wearing the candlelight only.

I had intended on making my mother leave before Bella arrived so she wouldn’t know my mum had spent any money; however, that didn’t go accordingly to plan. Bella walked through the door seconds later with two grocery bags in tow.

~

Bella’s POV

When I first entered my flat, I did a double-take, fearing I had gone into the wrong unit. Sure enough, though, Edward and Esme were standing just inside the door. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. It was like my entire flat had gotten a make-over, like someone from HGTV came in and took over. There were candles lit throughout the room, a new photo of Edward and I in a new frame, new bedding, new curtains, new accessories, it was too much.

“Edward!” I was slightly speechless as I took everything in. “It’s beautiful, but was it all really necessary?”

Edward came and took the bags from my hands. Esme greeted me. “Hi, Dear. It really was necessary. Don’t you worry about a thing,” she said as she hugged me. “We got everything on clearance. We hardly spent any money at all.” I looked around the room again and started adding things up in my head.

I looked at Edward. I didn’t believe her, but I didn’t want to be rude to his mother. It was actually very touching. My mother had never done anything close to this. The fact that Esme would care to help me made me tear up a little bit. “It’s really beautiful. You really shouldn’t have, but thank you.”

Esme kissed my cheek. “You are welcome. I’ve got to get home. Carlisle is probably wondering where I’ve disappeared to. You kids enjoy yourselves.” She hugged and kissed Edward before quickly making her exit.

“I can’t believe you and your mom did this,” I said to Edward.

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s no big deal,” he said as he went into the bathroom and moved a load of my clothes from the washer to the drier.

“It is a big deal. Nobody has ever done anything like this for me before.”

“Well you obviously haven’t been hanging around the right people.”

I nudged him. “It is too much, but I really love it. Thank you.”

Edward glanced up and smiled at me. “You’re welcome.”

“I can do this,” I said, trying to take over my laundry.

Edward actually stepped out of the way and allowed me to take over, however he had something in his hand.

“Why haven’t I ever seen these on you?” he asked as he held up a small dark blue lacy pair of panties.

I felt my cheeks turn red. The fact that he had been doing my laundry just hit me. That was awkward. I snatched them out of his hand and placed them in the drier. “They’re new,” I said, embarrassed.

Edward laughed. “Don’t be shy now. I’ve officially seen all your undergarments. You’ve definitely been holding out on me.”

I turned around to face him. “Oh my God.” I covered my face with my hand. “You are embarrassing me. I have not been holding out on you, I just haven’t worn some things yet.”

Edward laughed again and pulled me into his arms. “I’m just playing with you, baby. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I like you better naked, anyway.”

I reached up and kissed the crook of his neck. Despite all his apparent hard work, he still smelled good.

~

Edward’s POV

Making love to Bella that night in the glow of candlelight was unlike anything I had ever experienced before. I didn’t think she could be any more beautiful, but seeing her creamy skin against mine in the dull glow was absolutely stunning. Her mahogany hair splayed out across the ivory pillow and her bare shoulders in stark contrast to one another. I worshiped every inch of her body with my lips and tongue until I saw a desperate look in her eyes to give her something more. Her lips were red and swollen from my kisses and she was beautiful in her imperfection. Bella was unlike any girl I had ever met before. She was constantly surprising me. She made me feel good. She made me want to do good. My happiness was a direct result of her own. My days were not complete without seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, and tasting her kiss.

“I love you, Bella.”

Her lips turned up in a small smile and she kissed my jaw. “Show me, Edward,” she whispered against my skin.

With that, I pushed into her and watched as her eyes squeezed tightly closed, and I listened, while a tiny gasp escaped her and we were connected. I loved all the different sensations she created within and around me. She was warm inside, but cool outside. Her breath against my skin was electric. Her lips left tingling sensations wherever they went. Her hands were soft and her nails strong, as they dug into the flesh on my back or tugged on my hair.

I never wanted our bodies to be apart, because everything felt right when they were together, but it was impossible not to chase the high she always brought to me. So, when her body grew tense around mine and my name began to fall from her lips, I could do nothing more than come with her and tell her that I loved her.



***Author’s Note: Sorry I missed the update last weekend! I’m in the middle of working 18 days straight w/ only one day off, so I have been short on time. Hope you all enjoyed this one....trouble starts in the next chapter. Thanks to those of you who have been reviewing! <3

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR

Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

***NEXT CHAPTER - 12 - CLICK HERE***

Elusive Reality - Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

London, England - 2004

On what was Thanksgiving weekend in the states, I got quite the surprise in London.

Edward had come by late the night before. He had been working full time now for his father and he often worked late hours. Edward liked to sleep in and work in the afternoon and put his business plans and presentations together in the evening when everyone had left the office. His father was the boss, so he could do what he wanted. Edward was still in his work clothes when he arrived. He looked so delicious in a suit. I hung up his jacket for him while he filled me in on his day and vice versa. We joked about already acting like an old couple.

Edward playfully threw me on to the bed and crawled on top of me. “Old couples probably don’t do this...” he said as he began to trail kisses down my body. I felt my insides turn all hot and liquid. I loved what he did to me.

The following morning I woke early to find myself curled up next to a nearly naked Edward, and I was wearing only his white button up shirt from the night before. I didn’t have to be on campus until 10:00 a.m., so I went back to sleep.

I don’t think I had been back to sleep long when I heard a knock at the door. I sat up and looked at Edward. He was still half asleep and I wasn’t sure he heard it. I crawled over him, receiving a smack on the ass as I went. He was definitely awake. I padded across the room and swung the door open without a second thought.

I gasped when I saw him. I turned a deep shade of red when he took in my appearance. We both stood there speechless for a moment. I swear I could hear my heart braking, and his.

“What are you doing here?” I asked quietly, hoping Edward had fallen back to sleep. Jake started to stutter and I heard Edward getting out of bed. I looked over at him, clad, in only his black boxer briefs. I begged him with my eyes to stay put, but I knew it was hopeless. I turned back to Jake.

“I...I missed you,” Jake confessed.

I gasped for air. He knew we had broken up. He didn’t know I was seriously involved, and sleeping with, someone else.

I shook my head. “Jake...”

I felt Edward’s arms wrap around my waist behind me. He kissed my cheek. I wanted to cry. I didn’t want to hurt Jake like this.

Jake’s mouth hung open. “Wow,” is all he said.

“Jake, I’m sorry. I had no idea you were coming.”

“I know, but really, Bella? You’re already fucking someone?”

“Already? Jake we haven’t been together in months.”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Edward chimed in.

Oh no. No. No. No. I urged Edward to be quiet. I could see the anger building in Jake.

“How long has this been going on?” Jake asked.

Before I could open my mouth, Edward answered.

“Months.”

Jake stood awkwardly at my door, a bag in hand. It dawned on me then that he had probably intended on staying with me.

“Jake, just give me a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.” I closed the door gently, not shutting it all the way. I moved Edward away from the door.

“I’m sorry. You have to go.”

“What? Bella? Seriously? I thought you were done with him.”

“We are finished, but he’s still a really good friend of mine. I can’t hurt him like this. I can’t. Please, just go and let me talk to him. We’ll get things straightened out.”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him.”

“What? Edward you have to. I mean, he’ll probably stay here. He can’t afford a hotel.”

“Stay here? Where? I’m pretty sure there isn’t room for three in your bed,” Edward said. I could tell he was getting mad. I didn’t want him to be mad at me. I was so mad at Jake for showing up, but I didn’t want to completely destroy him either. I knew he was still in love with me and seeing what he saw, had to hurt.

“Edward, please, let me just work this out. I’ll call you later. I’ll stay with you.”

Now Edward looked hurt. I didn’t understand.

“Edward?”

“I spent all this time trying to convince you that I wouldn’t hurt you, that you were different. It never dawned on me, that you could potentially hurt me, break me, ruin me.”

I closed the small space between us, and wrapped myself around him. “Edward, no.” It hit me then, that Edward probably felt threatened by Jake. After all, he was taller than Edward and had a body to die for, but that didn’t mean anything to me. “There is no choice to be made here, Edward. He couldn’t do, or say, anything to make me want you any less. I’m yours. How could you doubt that?”

He sighed and finally embraced me back. He took a deep breath. “Okay, well, I need my shirt back, so I can go.”

I started to unbutton it right in front of him. His eyes fell from mine, down to my chest and waist, before coming quickly back up. “Don’t,” he warned before kissing me. Damn Jake. I wanted nothing more than to crawl back into bed with Edward and show him just how much I wanted him, and nobody else.

After Edward stopped kissed me, I disappeared into the bathroom and changed clothes. When I returned to the main room, Edward was fully dressed. We walked in silence to the door. We paused for a moment before I opened the door.

“Call me when you get off work tonight, and I’ll head over to your place,” I offered.

“No need,” he said, as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out his keys and took off the key to his flat and placed it in my hand.

I smiled. “Thank you. I’ll just head there after class.” I opened the door and before I knew it, Edward was kissing me. If it didn’t feel so damn good, I would’ve stopped it sooner because I knew Jake was watching. Edward’s kiss left me breathless. I knew he was doing it to prove a point in front of Jake, but it was so wonderful, I couldn’t be mad. His hand lingered in mine for a moment. “I’ll see you tonight. Call me if you need anything.” He squeezed my hand, and he was gone.

Jake was furious. He immediately came inside and started pacing the floors. He glanced around.

“Is this it, Bella? It’s tiny.”

“It serves its purpose,” I responded.

Jake walked around looking at things for a few more minutes before he finally sat down on my bed.

“So, you’ve been seeing this guy for months? When did you meet him?”

I took a deep breath. I needed to be honest. “Yes. I actually met him my first weekend here.”

“Is it serious, or are you just fucking him?”

I scoffed. “I don’t just fuck people, Jake.”

“What do I know anymore?”

I rolled my eyes. “Edward and I are together for now. I don’t know what the future holds.”

“Was I really that easy to forget?” Jake asked softly.

I felt my chest get heavy. I hated this. “I didn’t forget you. We’re still friends, I still want to stay friends. We’ve known each other our entire lives, Jake. I just don’t think we’re meant to be a couple. I don’t know what will happen when I have to return to the states, I just know that for now, I’m really happy with Edward. I’m sorry that it caught you off guard.”

Jake sighed and didn’t really respond.

“I have to get ready for class.” I excused myself to the bathroom.

When I returned, Jake hadn’t moved.

“I should be back around 3:00 p.m. You can make yourself at home. I’ll stay at Edward’s tonight.”

“You can stay here. Your bed is large enough. I won’t bother you.”

I sighed. “Edward wouldn’t appreciate that. He’s just a block away, it’s no problem.”

Jake scoffed. “Whatever.”

I turned to go to class and left him and his attitude alone.

~

When I returned home from class, Jake was gone. I wanted to talk to him. He left a note on the night stand that said he went sightseeing and would be back around 3:00 p.m.

I packed an overnight bag to take to Edward’s and continued to wait on Jake. I didn’t want to leave things they way they were. I wanted to make amends. I really didn’t want him to return home and tell my parents how he found me. My dad would freak out. I laid down and drifted off to sleep while pondering ways to smooth things over.

~

My eyes shot open sometime later when I heard my door open. The room had grown considerably darker. Nightfall. Edward.

I began to sit up but felt a heaviness that was keeping me down.

Edward looked down right enraged.

“Edward, what’s wrong?”

I realized then, exactly what was wrong. I felt his heat before I saw him. Jake’s arm was wrapped firmly around my waist and he was shirtless. He sat up without a care, as if nothing had happened. I was furious. He did this on purpose.

“Jake!! What the hell?” I shoved him off of me.

Edward went over to the drawer in my dresser that was designated “his” and started pulling his things out.

“Edward, wait! Stop!”

Jake laid back on the bed, a smug look on his face. Apparently things were going accordingly to his plan. I wanted to hit him.

I went to Edward and started putting things back in his drawer that he had dropped on the floor to collect.

“Edward, stop!”

I could see the anger in his eyes. His cheeks and ears were red. His skin was warm. He pushed me away. “I don’t even know you!” he screamed.

I burst into tears. “Don’t say that.”

Edward continued to gather his things. I turned to Jake, who was still smug. I couldn’t hold it in anymore.

“Get up, Jake. Get dressed, and get the hell out of here.”

Jake stood up and grabbed his t-shirt that was laying on the floor nearby. When he stood, I smacked him as hard as I could, right across his face. He looked a little stunned. It was one of the first times I had gotten to use my right hand, as I had just had my cast removed the day before. “How could you do this to me? You don’t love me! If you did, you wouldn’t be trying to sabotage my relationship with him. Just because he leaves, doesn’t mean I’m going to run back to you, Jake. Ever. You’ve really disappointed me. Grow up. You wonder why we didn’t work out,” I scoffed.

I turned and walked out, leaving them both standing speechless in my flat. I didn’t know where I was going, I just didn’t want to be there.

I decided to grab a coffee and go to the library to try study for an exam. It was useless. I sat in a study carrel and cried and watch my phone ring over and over. The little screen alternated between Jake and Edward’s names. I was too upset to talk to them, and the library wasn’t the place, anyway. I couldn’t believe that Edward said he didn’t know me, that he would believe what he walked in on was real.

I must have dozed off from crying and I woke up to someone’s fingers running through my hair. I was startled and sat up quickly. I knocked something out of Edward’s hands. I was embarrassed, people were watching us.

“I’m sorry. I thought you’d be here. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Edward whispered, picking up a small bundle of flowers from the floor. He brought me flowers. I started crying again. I stood and grabbed my things. I began apologizing profusely, unsure if I was apologizing to Edward, or the people in the library that were watching us.

We didn’t speak until we were outside.

“Bella, let me take you home, please.”

I nodded and followed him to his car. There was an awkward silence between us. I didn’t know what to say, and he didn’t speak. I wondered where Jake was. The fact that I still needed to smooth things over with him before he returned home was heavy on my mind.

We arrived to Edward’s flat.

“Am I being too presumptuous?” he asked.

I looked at him blankly. I didn’t understand.

“Will you stay with me tonight?”

“Oh, most likely,” I responded, not giving it a second thought.

We headed inside and routinely changed into our pajamas. I was starving. I couldn’t remember the last time I ate. I put the flowers Edward gave me in a vase of water. They were pretty multicolored daisies. He joined me in the kitchen. We starred at each other momentarily.

“Thank you.”

“For what?” he asked.

“The flowers.”

“Oh, of course. It’s the least I could do.”

“Are you hungry?” I asked. “Do you want some popcorn?” Edward rarely had food in his flat, but he always had popcorn.

“Sure.”

I turned towards his pantry when I felt his hand on my wrist. I turned to face him. He closed the small space between us. His hands went to either side of my face and his eyes met mine. I loved his eyes; I could get lost in them. I thought he was going to kiss me, but instead he was just very close to me when he spoke. The pain was evident in his features.

“I’m so sorry, Bella. I didn’t mean what I said.”

I nodded my head in understanding, and before I could speak, my stomach growled. We both laughed, and I made the popcorn.

We shared our popcorn in silence before retiring to bed. We snuggled in close together before I started the conversation that we had been putting off.

“What happened after I left?”

Edward took in a deep breath and blew it out before answering. “We just exchanged a few words.”

“That’s it?” I asked.

Edward nodded his head. “I wanted to kill him, but I thought I’d lose.”

I giggled. “He can fight.”

“Yea, it looks like it.”

“Do you know what he was going to do? His he staying at my place?”

“I don’t know. I told him he needed to apologize to you and go home and never come back.”

I sighed.

“What?” Edward asked.

“I’ve got to smooth things over with him before he leaves, just to appease him.”

“Why?”

“Because, if he tells my father what he saw, he will flip out. He’ll demand that I come home.” I sighed. “He’s going to be so mad at me. My dad, and Jake’s dad, are like brothers. Best friends. Jake will tell him all kinds of crazy shit to try to make me come back.”

“He’s such an ass hole. You are entirely too good for him. Did he ever hurt you? Physically?”

“What? No. He looks much more intimidating than he is. He would never. He’s a good person at heart, he’s just hurt. I mean, all our lives this is what everyone talked about, he and I being together. It’s what people expect. It’s what we expected. I feel bad for him, but he’s really being childish.”

“He is.”

We were quiet for a moment. I turned out the light.

“Bella?”

“Hm?”

I felt his fingers tracing my cheek bone. “I’m really sorry.”

“I know you are, it’s okay.”

“Even when Victoria showed up at my place, you still believed me. You trusted me.”

“I trust you. Maybe I shouldn’t, but I do.”

Edward sighed. “It scares me.”

“What scares you?” I asked, concerned.

“This. Us.”

My heart started racing. What was he getting at? “Elaborate.”

He sighed again and rolled over on to his back, away from me. I followed him, propping myself upon his chest. “Edward? What are you talking about? You’re scaring me.”

His hands covered his face momentarily and he let out a deep breath into them before running his hands through his hair. “I don’t know how to do this,” he finally responded. “The way I reacted...that’s not like me. I’d never felt such a vast array of emotions before, I didn’t know what to do.”

I didn’t understand. Was this him backing out on us? Was this him realizing he was in too deep? Before I could question him, he continued.

“I mean, I was so mad. I wanted to kill him. I wanted to hurt you for doing that to me. I felt alienated and so...so fucking hurt. Like, without you, there would be nothing. I would be nothing.”

I hadn’t breathed in nearly a minute and I was starting to feel light headed. “Are you saying we should cool off? Take things slower?”

Edward’s eyes shot quickly to mine. “What? No, I’m not saying that!”

I exhaled.

He sighed.

We stared at each other, never blinking.

His hand cradled my face. “What I’m trying to say is, I think I’m falling in love with you. I think I love you. I think I’ve never felt this way before and I don’t know what the fuck to do.”

I let out a little giggle, relieved.

“You’re laughing at me?” he teased.

I laughed again. “I thought you were breaking up with me!”

He laughed too. It was a beautiful sound. “I told you I didn’t know how to do this,” he said.

I smiled and kissed him. “You did a fine job. I’m just a pessimist.”

He smiled and flipped me over onto my back. My hands got lost in his mess of bronze locks while his lips explored mine. Everything about him felt so fucking good. After his lips left mine, he peppered barely there kisses down my neck as his hands slowly worked my shirt up. Every square inch of my body was on high alert, anticipating where it would next feel him, when it would next be brought to life. The insides of my wrists and thighs, behind my ear, the crook of my neck, the space between my breasts, he left nothing untouched. Watching and feeling him show his love for me was like nothing I had ever experienced before. While my body was screaming for attention in specific places, my mind lavished every little detail of his sweet assault.

When Edward finally entered me, I felt whole and complete, absolute. His eyes found mine and never left their depths until I was writhing beneath him. When I regained my composure I vowed to give him everything he had given me, and then some. I enjoyed nothing more than being on top of him and watching him watch me. He made me feel as if I were floating. I gripped his hands as they gripped my hips. I watched as his breath caught and his face contorted. I felt his grip tighten and watched his eyes close. I felt his release and saw the relief evident on his face seconds later. I collapsed onto his warm chest. “I think I love you, too.”

Edward suddenly tugged at my hair and titled my chin up so I could see his eyes. “I was wrong. I don’t think I love you, Bella. I know I do. There’s simply no other way to describe the feeling inside me when I’m near you.”

A grin spread across my face and my lips found his. There were fireworks going off in my mind. This was the good life. I was living the good life, with Edward.



***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! We get some EPOV in the next chapter. Stay tuned. <3

Twitter: AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 11 - CLICK HERE***

Elusive Reality - Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

Maricopia County Mental Health Institute - 2006

It’s so cold. It’s always so cold in here. Today something new happened. I saw the doctor for only the second time since I got here. It was normal physical type stuff. He could feel the cold on my skin and he told me after my evaluation next week, if I seemed to be improving, he would see about getting me a warmer blanket. I think it was the first time I smiled since I’d been here. I miss being warm.

I wonder what my evaluation is. Thinking about being evaluated made me nervous. How was I supposed to act? I made sure I took my medicine like I was supposed to because I think I’m more stable and less confused when I take it. If me appearing normal gets me a blanket, then I need to appear normal. No thoughts of Dad and Edward for a while.

~

Evaluation day. Apparently it was a mental evaluation. I got to go to his office. It was on the other side of the hospital. Two people escorted me and I had to have my wrists and hands bound together for the duration of the walk. It was the most exercise I had gotten in months. There were some scary areas in this hospital. My cell looked like a suite compared to some. At least they didn’t have me in a straight jacket yet. One boy I saw even had something covering his mouth so he couldn’t speak.

Dr. Cline’s office was nice. It was warm. There was a couch I immediately sat on. It was warm and soft and squishy. He made me move to a chair and table on the other side of his office. I got to use an ink pen. I had to answer some questions on a piece of paper about how I was feeling. It only gave me four choices and cold wasn’t one of them. I was glad that I still knew how to read. I tried to waste as much time as possible and very slowly shaded in the little circles. I didn’t want to go back to my cell.

“You don’t have to fill it in perfectly, Isabella.”

“Who?” I asked.

The doctor quickly reached for my file, reading the label on the side. “Isabella Swan, is that not correct?”

“They just call me Swan. I haven’t heard Isabella in a long time. I don’t think that’s the name I used before I came here.”

The doctor gave me a strange look and started flipping through some papers in my file.

“Bella, your mother calls you, Bella.”

That seemed slightly familiar. “That sounds about right. Does that thing say stuff about my mom?”

The doctor closed the file. “No, not very much.”

“Oh.” I shaded the last circle and pushed the piece of paper back across the table to him. He reviewed it for several minutes and then started asking me the same fucking questions that were on the paper. I started to ask him if he knew how to read, but then I remembered that I was supposed to be normal and good so I could get a blanket.

I told Dr. Cline that I felt fine. I told him I didn’t know why I was here, but that I liked the crayons and the food that was served on Saturdays and Tuesdays.

“How do you feel when you think about your father?”

Crap. I know I’m not supposed to feel good about my father. I’m very deep in my medicated haze today and I really can’t seem to feel anything. I shrugged my shoulders and told the doctor that I didn’t remember much.

“Who is, Edward?” he asked.

My eyes shot up to his. Who is, Edward? Edward. Edward. Edward. Why does that name seem so familiar. The doctor picked up on my confusion.

“You wrote that name down next to the question about what makes you happy.”

“No, I didn’t. There are only circles.”

He passed the paper over to me so I could see it. The last circle was shaded and the word next to it was marked out and the name Edward was written above it in my handwriting. I didn’t remember doing that. Shit. I was really confused and I was supposed to be acting normal. Edward did seem familiar though. Lie. I would lie.

“Edward was an old friend of mine.”

The doctor seemed satisfied with my answer. After several more questions he let me leave his office, with a white freshly washed fleece blanket. I was so freaking excited. It even smelled good. The attendant carried it back to my cell for me. As soon as I was back in my cell and free from my constraints I curled up on my bed with my new warm blanket. It made me smile. I laid down and rested my head on the lackluster pillow and heard paper crunch.

I sat up, remembering that I kept something in my pillow case. I pulled out a stack of papers. They all either said things about my dad or Edward. Who the fuck was Edward? I started to read further to get more information about Edward but the stuff about my dad was too depressing and I put it all back in my pillow case and took a nap until dinner time.

~

I didn’t take my medicine for a week following that night. I was more confused and unstable as ever. Edward was my boyfriend in London, I think. I couldn’t remember if the things I had written on the papers were real or were dreams or my imagination. I had written little things about our first date, our first fight, our first kiss. Edward seemed real to me, but I wasn’t sure if all of those things were real.

My mom is supposed to visit today. I wasn’t sure whether to be excited or angry about this. It never seemed to go over well.

I got escorted to the visitation room about an hour later. Mom was already there. She looked the same, I guess. She looked like she had been shopping, or changed her hair or something. She looked fresh and bright and made up. She looked happy. I hate her for being happy.

“So, Bella, I spoke with your doctor. He seems to think you’re doing well with your treatment and medication.”

“Oh, yeah? I think I like him, he gave me a blanket.”

“A blanket?”

“Yes, it’s so cold in here all the time.”

“Well that was nice of him.”

I nodded my head.

“If you keep on your medication and do well at your next evaluation, I heard he may let you start participating in more activities.”

“What kind of activities?” I asked.

“Well, they have social time every day at 2:00 p.m. You could start going to that and meet some friends.”

“Friends? Mom, these people are crazy.”

“Well, maybe you might find you have something in common with a few of them.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t think so. But yea, any time out of my cell would be good.”

“When you really start to get on track and do better, they have outside time in the morning and afternoon.”

“Outside? Like in the sun?”

“Yes!”

Oh, how I longed to feel the Phoenix sun on my skin. I just wanted to feel anything other than cold, it’s the only way I could be sure I was alive. “I would like outside time.”

“Well, the only thing that came back not so great about your evaluation is that you keep talking about someone named Edward. You don’t know anyone named Edward. If you quit talking about him, the doctor might think you’re stable enough to participate in more activities.”

“I do know someone named, Edward.”

“Bella, we’ve been through this. He’s not real. At least just keep your little imaginary friends to yourself in front of the doctor so he will allow you more activity time so you don’t have to be so isolated.”

I wanted to hit her in the damn face. She is such a bitch.

“Fine,” I agreed.

“So, Mom, what are you doing now? How are you affording the bills and the house and all these new clothes without, Dad?”

Her face changed. She was about to tell a lie.

“Well, he had some life insurance. I’m still working and using some of that money to help make ends meet. Most of that money went towards your attorney fees. I will likely be putting the house on the market soon and move into something smaller and more manageable.”

I didn’t believe her. She loved that house. She wouldn’t sell it for anything. Dad worked extra shifts every week to help pay for it, because it is what she wanted. Her voice extracted me from my thoughts.

“Well, it’s been really nice to see you, Bella. You’re really making some improvement.”

I nodded my head. “Thanks.”

She stood to leave. “I’ll see you next time.”

I stood as well and I was excited to return to the warmth and comfort of the blanket I earned for pretending to be less crazy.


***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing. Sorry this one was kind of short, the next one will make up for it. Things will start to progress in a few more chapters!

Twitter: @ AllorNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 10 - CLICK HERE***