Elusive Reality - Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

London, England - 2004

Edward and I were inseparable. As the weeks went on, I found it more and more difficult to be away from him. We spent nearly every night together. Lately he had been working full time for his father and there was nothing I enjoyed more than watching him get ready and all dressed up in a suit. He was so handsome. I watched him every morning, usually from his bed. This morning was no exception.

I was completely naked beneath the sheet that covered me. Edward walked softly around his room, putting his watch on, looking for his shoes. He was always so careful not to wake me, although he knew I was watching him.

When he was completely ready, he finally turned to look at me. I was smiling back at him. He sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?” he asked quietly.

I grinned and shook my head before sitting up and wrapping my arms around his neck as he kissed me.

He sighed heavily when we parted. “I wish I could stay here all day with you.”

“I wish you could, too.”

Edward kissed my forehead and his hand lingered in mine momentarily before he got up. “I may be late tonight. I have a late conference call.”

“Okay. Have a good day, Edward.”

He smiled and blew me a kiss before he disappeared. When I heard his front door close, I got up and into his shower. I loved showering behind him. It smelled just like him and the bathroom was already warm.

When I turned the water off some time later, I was surprised to hear the bathroom door opening. I heard a female voice, “Hey, handsome, I was hoping you weren’t finished yet.” The shower curtain pulled open and I shrieked loudly. I grabbed the towel that hung nearby and clutched it to my chest. The curly redhead and I stared blankly at each other.

“Who the hell are you?” she yelled.

“Who are you!” I yelled back. My heart was racing. Edward was a dead man. I had woken up and showered here on countless mornings and never had I encountered this. The red haired vixen was dressed professionally, but somewhat provocatively. She was fuming.

“Where is Edward?” she asked, hands on hips.

“He’s at work. Will you move so I can get out of here?” I asked.

She stepped back. I wrapped the towel around myself and stepped out of the shower. “How did you get in here?” I asked. Edward always locks the door behind him.

“I have a key,” she snarled.

I nearly choked. I didn’t have a key. “So, who are you, to him?” I asked tentatively.

“I’m just an old friend.”

“With a key to his flat?”

She nodded her head. “Why are you here if he isn’t here? Are you his bitch from last night? Did he let you stay and shower? That’s nice of him.”

I wanted to punch her. Hard.

“I’m his girlfriend.”

She burst into laughter. “Edward doesn’t do girlfriends, sweetheart.”

I had had enough. “Really? Because he’s done me on that bed every single night for the past four months!” I said as I pointed towards Edward’s room. “Give me that key and get the hell out of here!” I started pushing on her shoulders.

“Four months?” She started pushing back. “I’m not giving you anything!” She lunged at me and that was it.

It was an all out girl fight, complete with hair pulling. I was no match for her and I was completely naked and fairly banged up when Edward and his friend/neighbor, Jasper, came running through the front door a few minutes later.

“What the fuck?” Edward demanded.

“Told ya so,” added Jasper.

The redhead and I were still going at each other on the floor, when finally, Edward pulled her off of me. “What the hell is going on?” Edward asked.

I was beyond furious. I couldn’t see straight. “I’ll tell you what the hell is going on, Edward!” I screamed. “This bitch tried to crawl in the shower with you this morning, except she found me!”

Edward’s eyes grew large. “What? Victoria, how did you get in here?”

Victoria started to stutter.

“She has a key!”

“What?” Edward asked as he looked at Victoria. “A key? How do you have a key to my flat?” He turned to me. “Bella, please, we have guests,” he said softly as he handed me my towel. I completely forgot. Every inch of me turned bright red. I was so embarrassed. Tears filled my eyes and I turned around and went into Edward’s room, slamming the door behind me. I could still hear them talking.

“Victoria, what the hell? You can’t just come in here whenever the hell you feel like it. Give me that key and tell my sister to fuck off.”

“I just thought, you know, for old times sake...”

“Well, you thought wrong. We never were, and even if we were, we are not anymore. Don’t call me. Don’t show up at my flat and don’t lay a finger on my girlfriend.”

“I cannot believe she’s really your girlfriend. You need variety, Edward. She’s not even that attractive.”

Tears poured over my cheeks and my nose ran.

“I find her very attractive. Now, GET OUT!”

I could hear Victoria stomping out of the flat. I didn’t even want to deal with Edward right now. I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

“Thanks for calling me, Jasper. Sorry for the disturbance. I owe you.”

“No problem, man. Glad I could help.” The main door closed. It was quiet, except for Edward’s footsteps coming closer.

I was still on the floor, but I scooted a little farther away from his door so it wouldn’t hit me when he opened it, which he did a moment later.

“Bella...”

I shook my head. “Just leave me alone, please.”

“Bella, I can’t. Baby, I’m so incredibly sorry. I had no idea. My sister must have given her a key. I told you she was a bitch.”

I pulled my legs into my chest. I wrapped my arms around my knees, buried my head, and continued to cry. I felt Edward's arms around me before I heard him move. He was rocking me back and forth.

“Bella, I really had no idea. Please, believe me. You know I would never....I mean, I spend every waking moment with you. I wouldn’t even have had time to see her.”

My head shot up. “Ugh, Edward! I get it. I know you didn’t cheat on me.” I wiped at the tears flooding down my cheeks. “I’m crying because it hurts and I’m terribly embarrassed. Your friend just saw me completely naked, as did your ex-bitch and she said I wasn’t attractive!”

Edward laughed momentarily before I shot him a warning glance. “It’s not funny.”

He tried to hide his laughter. “I’m sorry, Bella. Why would you care what she thinks? Of course she’s going to say that. She just learned that you could keep me, and she couldn’t. I think it’s obvious that I’m attracted to you. You’re beautiful, even with tear stained cheeks and a snotty nose.”

I laughed for just a second before I wiped my face with the towel.

Edward moved a strand of my still wet hair behind my ear. “Tell me what hurts,” he said softly.

I relaxed a little. His touch felt so good. “Everything.”

“Well, if you can’t be more specific, I’ll have to do a full body inspection to make sure you’re okay,” he teased, as he pulled at my towel.

“My right elbow and wrist. Both of my knees, and my head.”

Edward took my right arm. I yelped in pain. My wrist really hurt. “Does that hurt?” he asked.

“Obviously.”

“Sorry.” He continued up my from my wrist, to my elbow. “You have a little cut here,” he said. He opened my towel to examine my knees. “And some scrapes and bruises on your knees. Where does your head hurt?”

“Everywhere. I think it’s just from all the hair pulling.”

Edward tried not to laugh before he started touching my wrist again and I tried not to grimace. “Can you move it?”

I shook my head.

Edward sighed. “I think you might want to get it checked out.”

I pouted.

Edward helped me up. “Come on, I’ll get some ice to put on it and I’ll dry your hair for you.”

I smiled. He was going to dry my hair. I think I loved him.

I sat on the edge of his bed, dressed in a t-shirt and sweat pants while Edward dried my hair. He massaged my scalp while he did so and it felt amazing. It almost made me forget about the shooting pain in my wrist. He brushed my hair out when he was finished. He was gentle and careful not to pull.

“I need to make a few calls. I’ll be right back.” Edward disappeared into his office.

He returned a few minutes later. “Okay, I’m all yours until 3:00 p.m. Let’s get you to the doctor.”

~

I cried the entire way home. I sat in the car and cried while Edward stopped at a hardware store. I cried when he tried to buy me breakfast. I cried when he helped me out of the car and into my flat.

I had a fractured bone in my wrist. I had to wear a cast for four weeks. It was my right wrist. I needed that wrist. I needed to be able to type and write and carry my books.

I threw myself on my bed. I felt Edward sit down on the bed next to me. He started stroking my hair. “I’m really sorry, Bella.”

“It’s not your fault, you didn’t know. I can’t help it that I’m a fragile wimp.”

Edward laughed. “You’re not a wimp. You’re strong and brave, and I love that you fought for me and believed me.”

I sighed and rolled over to face him. “You better get to work. I’ve ruined enough of both of our days.”

“I’m going by my place first to change the locks. Are you sure you don’t need anything?”

“I’m okay. I’m just going to rest.” I yawned.

“Okay.” He kissed my cheek. “Sweet dreams. I’ll come by as soon as I get finished with work.”

I nodded my head before drifting off to sleep.

~

My mom had called later that night just before Edward had arrived. I was still speaking to her when he knocked on my door. I let him in, and motioned for him to sit down.

“Mom, I know, but Thanksgiving is not a holiday in London. I have class. I can’t come home.”

“I don’t care if Jake wants to see me. We are not together anymore, Mom.”

I rolled my eyes and looked at Edward, while my mother continued. “Are you hungry?” I asked quietly, ignoring my mother.

Edward nodded his head. I went to the kitchenette and began to heat up some left overs from the take out I had gotten earlier.

I sighed. “Okay, Mom. I promise I’ll come home for Christmas. I just can’t make it for Thanksgiving. I’ve got too much going on. Listen, I’ve got to go, I have a friend over. Tell Dad I miss him. Love you.” I hung up before she had a chance to respond.

“So, your ex wants to see you?” Edward asked.

“He always does, it’s not a big deal. His dad and my dad are best friends. My dad insists on me marrying him.”

Edward’s eyes got large. “Oh great, so your father will never like me.”

I laughed. “He’ll get over it. Eventually.”

I fed Edward, and in exchange, he helped me with my homework and typed up a business plan for me before putting me to bed.


***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! Hope you enjoyed. We pay Bella a visit at the psych ward in the next chapter....more to come next weekend.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR

Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com.

***CHAPTER 9 - CLICK HERE***

Elusive Reality - Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

London, England - 2004

The following day we slept until the early afternoon. It was raining loudly outside. My flat was warm. Edward was warm. He was smiling at me when I opened my eyes. He took my breath away.

Before he kissed me, I slipped out of bed and went to the bathroom to shower. I didn’t realize how sore I was until I walked. It was a feeling I wasn’t used to, but I like it.

I showered and dressed before returning to the main living area. Edward wasn’t in bed where I left him. It only took me a moment to glance around my tiny flat to see that he wasn’t there at all. My heart immediately sank. He left. Oh God.

Just as I began to feel sick to my stomach, he came through the door, soaking wet. He held up a cardboard holder with two cups of coffee and pulled a bag of bagels out from under his arm. “There was a line,” he said, as he shook the rain from his hair. He was laughing.

I took a breath for the first time in nearly a minute. I think he saw the relief on my face.

“What’s wrong?”

I shook my head. “Nothing.” I smiled, trying to convince him.

“Oh. Oh no. You thought I left.”

I shook my head, trying to brush it off.

Edward set our breakfast down and took his coat off. “I should’ve left you a note or something, I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting it to be so busy. I thought I’d be back before you got out of the shower...” he continued rambling.

“Edward, it’s no big deal. Really, I’m fine.”

His eyes met mine. His expression turned serious. “I saw the look on your face. I’m not going to do that to you, Bella.”

“I know, Edward. I’m sorry.”

We talked over breakfast and I stupidly brought up the fact that we probably shouldn’t have unprotected sex again until he got tested, just for my own peace of mind.

Edward laughed at me. I felt my face heat up with embarrassment.

“I’m sorry, Bella. I don’t mean to laugh.”

“Why is that so funny?” I asked.

“Because, it’s a little late now, don’t you think? I mean, if I had anything, I’m pretty sure after last night, it would be all up in you.”

That made me laugh. “Shut up. I wouldn’t normally do that. I mean, I shouldn’t have. I should’ve thought about it first, but I’ve never had to worry about it before, it was just Jake and I.”

“Well, I’m clean. Just so you know. You don’t have anything to worry about. I don’t normally have unprotected sex either.”

I raised a brow at him. I didn’t believe him.

“I’m serious,” he continued. “Occasionally, with regulars, but not often.”

My eyes got wide. “Regulars?”

Edward laughed. “Well, not regulars anymore.”

I tried to laugh, but it honestly made me nervous.

“Bella,” Edward said seriously, “I told you, you’re the only one I’m with right now. You’re the only one I want. Besides, I was tested recently. I’m clean.”

“Why did you get tested? I mean, did you have a symptom or something? Did you think something was wrong?”

Edward laughed at me again. “Yeah, Bella, I grew a third a nut and thought I should get it checked out.”

I launched part of my bagel at him. He continued to laugh and I did too, but I really wanted to know. Who just randomly goes and gets tested for STDs unless they have a reason to?

“I’m serious!” I said.

“I know, I know. Really, to be honest, I just did it last week. For you.”

I was confused. “Huh? For me?”

Edward nodded his head and looked down shyly. “I mean, I figured we were headed in that direction. I just wanted to be sure. I won’t lie, I’ve been around the block. I didn’t want to risk anything with you.” He looked up at me. “You’re too perfect. I just wanted to make sure I didn’t have any slut funk.”

I thought it was endearing what he said, what he did, but when he said slut funk in that cute fucking accent, I laughed so hard I nearly choked on my sip of coffee.

Edward laughed too.

~

Two weeks later, after practically being inseparable, Edward convinced me that I had to meet his parents. I wasn’t sure I was ready for that.

“Isn’t it too soon?” I asked.

“Too soon for what?” Edward responded from his kitchen.

“I mean, I don’t know. We’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of months. Not to mention, your dad is practically famous.”

Edward laughed. “Are you nervous about meeting my father?”

Although he couldn’t see me in the living room, I shrugged my shoulders.

“Bella, he’s seriously the nicest, most humble, guy you’ll ever meet. They’re driving me mad about meeting you.”

He came around the corner and joined me on the couch, handing me a soda. He was helping me study for an exam. Edward was incredibly smart, and kept that fact hidden very well.

“You’ve told them about me?” I asked.

Edward scoffed. “Of course I have. I can’t seem to get you off my mind lately.”

I turned my head towards him and raised an eyebrow in question. He grinned his perfect fucking smile. Seeing him smile always has the same effect on me. I feel like I cannot breathe, and like the world has been lifted off my shoulders.

He nudged me. “Come on, Bella, you know I like you.”

I smiled. “I know you do. I like you too. I guess I’m just nervous.”

“Don’t be. My parents are amazing. My sister is a bitch, but she’s out of town, so that’s a bonus!”

I giggled. The thought of meeting his parents really scared the shit out of me. It felt too soon, it felt like it made us go from casual to serious in a heartbeat. But Edward was serious. Serious is what I wanted. I couldn’t share him.

Edward’s hand covering my knee knocked me from my thoughts. “Hey, are you alright? I mean, you don’t have to meet them if you don’t want to. It’s just...they’ve never known me to have a girlfriend, so they’re curious.”

I swallowed and looked up at him cautiously. “They’ve never met your girlfriends before?”

“Bella, I’ve never had a real girlfriend before.”

I couldn’t, for the life of me, understand what he saw in me. Why me? How did I get so fucking lucky?

I exhaled a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “What if they don’t like me? What if I’m not good enough? I mean, I’m just a middle class American girl.”

“Don’t be silly, Bella. Please?”

I sighed.

“Please. My mother would be so proud of me.”

“Proud?” I asked.

“Yes, that I’d bring home such an intelligent and beautiful young woman.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, Edward. You’re so dramatic.”

Edward laughed. “I am not being dramatic! God, I wished you saw yourself the way I did.”

“I’m sorry. I’ll meet them,” I agreed.

Edward grinned and jumped right off the couch to go call his mother. He was the cutest fucking thing I’d ever seen. It made me nervous to meet his parents because, what happens after that? I’m only here nine more months. I was already so unhealthily attached to Edward. I didn’t understand how he couldn’t see all the problems lying ahead for us. We never talked about it. We just dove in, head first.

~

The following weekend, Edward picked me up promptly at 5:00 p.m. We were having dinner at his parents’ place at 6:30 p.m. I was a nervous wreck. I didn’t know what to wear, and went back and forth for a long time before I decided to just go out and go shopping. I didn’t want to be too dressed up, but I didn’t want to be in my usual jeans and t-shirt. I settled on a nice oyster colored lace pencil skirt that hit just above the knee. I paired it with a white blouse and ballet flats. It was nice, yet slightly casual.

I wore my hair down and curled it to the best of my ability. I even put on a bit more make up than usual. I looked like a lady. I think that is what I was going for.

“You look fine. If you don’t hurry up we will be late.”

“I’m coming!” I yelled from the bathroom. I applied a final coat of clear lip gloss and headed out.

We took Edward’s nice shiny volvo across town to the Cadogan Square area of London. His parents lived in a very nice area and had an extremely large flat. I was in awe of my surroundings as Edward led us up the lift and into a beautiful reception area. I could hear footsteps approaching.

“Edward! Darling is that you?” A petite dark haired woman came around the corner with a warm smile on her face. She immediately pulled Edward into a hug and kissed his cheek. “You look so good, honey. I never see you anymore.”

Edward gently pulled her from him and looked at me. “Bella, this is my mother, Esme. Mum, this is Bella.”

Her smile widened as she looked me up and down. She suddenly embraced me and I didn’t know what to do with my hands, so they just hung awkwardly at my sides.

“It’s so lovely to meet you, darling. I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Oh, thank you. It’s nice to meet you too.”

Edward’s mother hurried us through their large flat and into the kitchen where Edward’s father was. Everything in their home was white and clean and immaculate.

“You must be Bella!” A tall sandy blonde haired man turned to me. I knew his face already. I had googled him. Carlisle Cullen. CEO and President of Cullen Enterprises.

I was momentarily speechless. “Yes sir, it’s very nice to meet you.”

“Call me Carlisle,” he said as he extended a hand. I shook it firmly before Esme whisked me away for the grand tour as Edward called it.

Dinner was later served in the most beautiful dining room I had ever seen. The walls were ivory and all the accessories were some similar shade. The dining room table was dark mahogany with large leather wing back chairs. The table was much larger than all of us, but we all sat at one end. Carlisle was at the head of the table with Esme on his left and Edward and I on his right. They served veal parmesan that was to die for.

Although the Cullens were wealthy beyond imagination, they were surprisingly very down to Earth and funny. Esme showed me pictures of Edward as a child and I couldn’t help but laugh. He wasn’t always sex on legs. He definitely had his awkward moments growing up, but he was a very cute little baby. I saw photos of his sister as well. She was stunning, and had been since the day she exited the womb. She was in law school. I wondered why Edward said she was a bitch. I mean, she did look like one, but still. Her name was Rosalie. Based on the photos, I think she was slightly younger than Edward. They had both gone to prestigious private schools growing up. All of this was foreign to me. I felt uncomfortable when they asked about my childhood. I explained that my father was a cop and my mother was a nurse. The Cullens seemed to think those were very admirable professions.

Esme and Carlisle were a joy to watch. You could tell they were still very much in love. They were constantly touching and looking at each other. It was so unusual to me, as I never witnessed such affections from my parents.

As the night wound down, Esme and Carlisle were cleaning up in the kitchen. Edward had been reading on the couch, but had since fallen asleep. I kneeled down next to him and brushed my fingers through his hair. “Time to wake up, Edward. You have to drive us home.”

Edward’s lips parted into a grin and he pulled me from the floor, into his lap. He kissed me softly at first, but it quickly turned into a heated kiss, before I finally pulled away and shoved at him. “Not here,” I warned.

Edward laughed and kissed my cheek. “They like you.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

I nudged him playfully and found my lips against his again. A moment later I heard his father clear his throat from the entry of the large room.

I immediately felt my cheeks heat up as I turned around to see his mother and father standing behind us. I immediately removed myself from Edward’s lap and apologized as I straightened my skirt.

Esme and Carlisle both laughed. “No need to apologize, dear. We were just going to see if either of you cared for dessert. Esme made a wonderful pecan pie.”

Edward was off the couch in a split second. I swear his stomach was a never ending black hole. I was stuffed, but stole a bite of Edward’s pie, foregoing a piece of my own. Esme was quite the cook. After dessert, Edward and I decided we needed to head back.

Esme was hugging me again. She was such a warm person. She smelled good too, like a mother. “It was so lovely to meet you, darling. I can already tell that you are good for Edward. Don’t let him run you off.”

“Mum!” Edward scoffed.

I laughed. “It was nice to meet you, too.”

“You’ll have to come back and see us very soon,” Carlisle added.

I nodded my head.

“You’re welcome anytime,” Esme concluded.

Edward and I drove back across town mostly in silence. I think he attempted to speak to me a few times, but I was lost in my thoughts.

We arrived back at my flat and Edward came in with me. I immediately went to change into my pajamas and then returned to the living area to see him standing by the door.

“Are you not staying?” I asked.

He shrugged his shoulders. “Do you want me to?” he asked uncertainly.

“Of course, I do,” I answered, closing the space between us.

“You were just so quiet on the way here. What were you thinking about?” he asked softly as he played with my hair.

I looked down and away from him. Tears betrayed me and I tried to hide them. I didn’t know what my problem was. Edward placed a finger under my chin and lifted my head. Our eyes met.

“Bella, what’s wrong?”

I wiped at my eyes quickly and shook my head. “It’s nothing, really.”

Edward just looked at me, waiting for me to continue.

“Your family, they’re just so perfect and warm, and inviting. They’re everything my family isn’t.”

Edward pulled me into a hug and rubbed little circles on my back. “Bella, they can be your family, too.”

I smiled, and squeezed him tighter. Contentment was my only conscious thought.

***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and reviewing! More to come soon. <3

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 8 - CLICK HERE***

Repentance - Epilogue

EPILOGUE

Edward and I married when Molly was six months old. We had a small ceremony at the Edgewater Hotel in Seattle. We only invited our closest family and friends. I never imagined a wedding with so many babies. Alice and Jasper named their son Jackson Alexander Whitlock. He was part of the wedding. Jackson was carried by Jasper, who was a best man and Alice carried Molly. Emmalie was a flower girl. Fortunately, there were no temper-tantrums and everyone was surprisingly well behaved. Of course, Jackson and Molly slept through most of the ceremony, only waking when people started clapping at the end.

My dress was strapless and fairly simple, but elegant at the same time. I wore my hair mostly down and wavy with only a small portion pinned back. Edward looked handsome as ever and when the doors opened and I started down the aisle, he was the only one I saw. We recited our vows and Edward promised me and our children the world. I already felt like I had it all.

Our wedding day was perfect. Our wedding photos were perfect. Our children were perfect. The day couldn’t have gone any better. It was a perfect start to our forever.

~

The following year, after Edward and I married, we moved to Portland, Oregon to be closer to his parents and to get out of the city. Edward finished up law school and was preparing to take the BAR exam. He already had an Associate position lined up at the DA’s office in Portland.

I was still finishing up my PhD, but in the meantime, I was teaching a class of second graders at a local elementary school. Most days I really enjoyed my job. Although we left Seattle to get a fresh start and move away from bad memories, somehow, a little piece seemed to follow us, but I didn’t mind.

I knew it on the first day when I looked over my roll sheet for my new second grade class. Cooper Stallings. Cooper was a lanky brown haired boy that grossly resembled Christopher Stallings. Although they had similarities, Cooper didn’t quite have his father’s good looks. Cooper was thin and had big glasses. He stuttered sometimes and didn’t always look clean.

I confirmed that he was Christopher Stallings’ estranged son by speaking with his rather young mother at parent teacher conferences. Cooper and I had a really good relationship. He got picked on a lot for being quirky, but I always stood up for him and took care of him. I didn’t like the fact that his father took my son, but I appreciated the fact that he didn’t have the heart to harm him and returned him to me safely. The least I could do was protect his son in return.

I wasn’t sure what Cooper’s home life was like, but I imagined it could be better. I think his mother struggled a lot, but she was doing the best she could. Cooper often only came to lunch with a peanut butter sandwich. On those days, I would buy extra lunch and tell him I was too full to finish, so he could have my left overs. His eyes always lit up. Cooper was my favorite student.

~

Eventually, Edward and I moved to a moderately sized home just outside of Portland. It was the first home either of us owned and we were so proud of it. Edward painted and did things around the house on the weekends while I decorated and worked on the curb appeal.

Molly was a quickly growing toddler. She was so beautiful. She was the apple of her daddy’s eye and anything she wanted, she got. Edward treated her like a princess. I got the greatest joy from watching them interact together.

Edward had been out with Molly for their daddy/daughter time one Saturday afternoon while Masen and I had been to his soccer practice. We returned home shortly before Edward and Molly and were getting ready for dinner when Edward and Molly came bounding through the door, excitement apparent in Molly’s little voice.

“Momma! Masen! See what Daddy got me!” I could hear her bouncing towards us in the kitchen.

Masen jumped down from his bar stool at the kitchen island and ran towards the foyer.

“Oh my gosh! No way!”

“It’s not just for you, Molly. It’s for everyone,” Edward corrected.

I didn’t hear Molly’s response. I came around the corner to a foyer full of giggles and slobbery wet faces. A puppy. A little chocolate colored fluffy puppy.

I gave Edward a questioning look and signaled for him to come to the kitchen while the kids played with the puppy.

“Edward! A puppy is a big deal. We’re supposed to discuss things like that!”

“I know, babe, but you should’ve seen her face light up when she saw him! I promise I’ll help take care of him. Come on, it won’t hurt to teach Masen some responsibility too. It will be a good thing, I promise.”

I sighed. “She has you wrapped around her little finger so tight...”

Edward smiled. “I can’t help it.”

He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my lips. Just as I was beginning to not want to let him go, we heard Molly scream and Masen laugh.

We both ran into the foyer. Molly started crying.

“What happened?” I asked.

Masen was laughing so hard he could hardly speak. “He pooped on her!”

Molly stood in the foyer in all her three year old glory with a dark brown watery stain on the front of her pretty pink shirt.

Edward burst into laughter.

I hit him in the arm. “Don’t laugh at her! Clean her up!”

Edward continued to laugh as he tended to Molly.

“Masen, why don’t you take the puppy out back.”

Masen ran off through the back of the house with the little brown fur ball following closely behind him.

~

A few months later, Edward returned home from a stressful day at work. I could tell he was in a bad mood, but he tried not to let it show.

I was making dinner while Masen played with Bear in the backyard. Molly was coloring at the kitchen table. Since the day she got pooped on by the puppy, she wanted nothing to do with it. Bear was officially Masen’s and Molly got a kitten. Some days, it felt like a zoo around our house.

“Edward, you okay?” I asked as he moved around me in silence, attempting to help with dinner.

Edward nodded his head. “Had an interesting day. I’m supposed to give you this,” he handed me a folded piece of paper from a yellow legal pad.

“What is it?” I asked as I opened it up.

“I prosecuted Christopher Stallings today. Drug possession, again.”

I read the scrawled messy script on the page.

Miss Bella,

I got to see my son last month. He told me all about you and all you done for him. I’m real sorry for the trouble I caused you and your family. I know I’m not the best person, and I get in a lot of trouble, but I love my boy. Thank you for watching out for him.

Chris

“Wow, that is interesting.”

Edward nodded his head. “I don’t get why he just won’t clean himself up and get some help. He doesn’t seem like that bad of a guy, but he’s always doing stupid stuff.”

“It’s all he’s ever known,” I sighed. “I just hope Cooper doesn’t end up like him.”

Edward placed a hand on my hip and pulled me to him. His lips brushed across mine. “With people like you in his life, he won’t end up like his father.”

I smiled up at Edward as Molly yelled, “Ewww!” from across the kitchen. She thought kissing was gross. Edward told her it was and that she should never do it. She believed him.

Edward and I laughed before separating to finish up dinner.

~

Edward and I had been through a lot together. We dealt with some things that felt bigger than us and out of our control. There were many days that I thought I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like I’d never have the life I thought I would.

Although I never planned on a marriage, a house with a big fenced back yard, and 2.5 children by the time I was 30, I was damn glad it turned out the way it did. Even if it all started out rocky, Edward and I had a beautiful family and a lot to be grateful for. Not a day goes by that I don’t feel lucky to have him in my life. He caused me a lot of pain and hurt in the beginning, but he saved me in the end and gave me a life and a family that I never imagined could be so perfect.

***I know I promised this forever ago, but unforeseen circumstances got in the way. I’m truly sorry. I hope you all enjoyed the story overall. I know it isn’t for everyone. Thanks for hanging in there with me and thank you for the reviews. <3

Of course, don’t forget to check out my next story - Elusive Reality - on FF and my blog.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

CHAPTER 6

London, England - 2004

On Friday, while I was still in class, Edward sent me a strange text message.

Do you own a dress? - Edward

Did I own a dress? Was he serious? I’m a freaking girl, of course I’ve owned a dress at some point in my life, however now was not the time. He must be able to tell that I’m not a dressy kind of girl, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pull it off. I’ve had to wear dresses and suits to various events and conferences in my college career, especially during presentations. However, I didn’t really bring anything dressy to London with me.

Um, I can. Why? - Bella

Wear one tonight, if it isn’t too much trouble. I slipped an envelope under the door of your flat. The dress is on me. I’ll pick you up at 5:00 p.m. I can’t wait to see you. - Edward

What are we doing? I can buy my own dress. - Bella

It’s a surprise. Stop being difficult. I’m buying. - Edward

I really didn’t want him to think I needed his money, or that I was some charity case. I wasn’t. I was doing perfectly fine, better than fine, really. I didn’t want to argue with him and ruin our night. I’d pay him back somehow, later.

Fine. You win. Only because I miss you and don’t want to argue. However, I’d still like you even if you were the poorest man on Earth. ;) - Bella

You make me feel rich, not the money. See you at 5:00 p.m. - Edward

I couldn’t hide the stupid grin on my face and I was momentarily embarrassed by my professor because he asked me a question I hadn’t heard.

~
Shopping for a dress was an adventure. I hadn’t been shopping before in London. Angela told me about a few local stores I might like and I made it to the first place and found a dress that would work. I wasn’t picky and didn’t feel the need to go all over town looking for a dress. I wasn’t sure how dressy I was supposed to be so I just stuck with something simple and black, but sexy. I wanted him to like the dress, after all he paid for it.

It was satin, short and strapless with a sweetheart neckline. It hugged my slight curves nicely and really made my rear look lovely. I found some black satin heels that matched. I paid for those.

I got lost on the way home and ended up taking a cab back to my flat. By the time I arrived, I was running late. I hung my dress up and placed Edward’s credit card and my receipt for the dress back in the little white envelope that he slipped under my door.

I showered for the second time that day and made sure every inch of me was silky smooth, just in case I got lucky. I twisted my hair up to expose my back and shoulders and left a few loose tendrils down in the front. I put a little more make up on that I normally did, adding a nice peachy gloss to my lips. I pulled out a diamond necklace my father bought me for my 16th birthday and slipped it around my neck. It was the perfect little accessory. I missed my dad. I made a mental note to call him the following day.

Edward arrived promptly on time. He looked amazing. I had never seen him outside of his casual and somewhat grungy attire. This was the first time he actually looked like he had money. His dress pants were black, paired with a royal blue dress shirt and a sport coat that hung open.

“Good evening,” he said.

“Hi.” I smiled shyly.

“You look beautiful,” he said softly as his arms wrapped around me and embraced me for a hug. I took a deep breath and breathed him in. He smelled so good. I inhaled his scent all the way to my core. I couldn’t express how badly I wanted this man to touch me.

His lips pressed softly into the crook of my neck. “I missed you.”

A small smile swept across my face as he nuzzled me. Screw whatever he had planned, I wanted him in my bed right now.

I sighed and tried to focus. I gently pushed him away and grabbed my handbag from the counter. “We better go,” I offered.

~

Edward had completely outdone himself. I felt like a princess in some sort of fairy tale movie. Edward took me to the London Eye first. We had a private capsule and shared a bottle of wine while we watched the sun set over London. It was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen. I had never seen London from that perspective. It was extremely romantic and Edward was ever the gentleman.

I stood, watching the last sliver of light disappear over the horizon as Edward came up behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. His chin rested on my shoulder. His voice was soft.

“I’ve never done anything like this for a girl before.”

I turned to look at him. “What does that mean?”

I inhaled a sharp breath as his lips moved closer to mine.

“It means that I really fucking like you.”

His fingers swept along my collar bone and up to caress my cheek as his lips met mine. I got lost every time we kissed. I never wanted to let go. He felt so good.

We eventually separated and made our way to dinner at a lovely restaurant nearby that overlooked the city. We shared everything on our plates and another bottle of wine.

By the time we made it back across town to my flat, I was fairly tipsy and a lot horny. If Edward didn’t give me what I wanted tonight, I would surely combust.

I opened my door and expected him to follow me inside. When he didn’t, I turned around. “Aren’t you coming in?” I asked.

“I should go home.”

“Why?”

“So you know that I am serious about you, and that I didn’t do all of this to take advantage of you at the end of the night. I did it because I like you, and I like seeing you smile.”

“You’d really make me smile if you came in a for a few minutes. Please?” I asked.

He sighed and gave in, following me inside.

He sat on my bed while I fetched us a each a glass of wine from the tiny kitchen area.

I sat down beside him. We sipped our wine. I didn’t know what to do next. I’d never really seduced a guy before.

“You look really handsome tonight,” I semi-teased. We both laughed. I sat my wine glass down and said to hell with it. I crawled over him and straddled his lap. He looked shocked.

“Bella...” he warned.

“Edward, please. This night would be perfect if...” I trailed off. I began placing feather light kisses along his jaw and down his neck. His intoxicating aroma became stronger and nearly made me whimper.

“But I want you to know that you’re different. No matter what you hear about what I’ve done in the past, it’s different with you.”

I pulled back and looked at him. “I know. I know you mean it. You showed me tonight.”

My lips pressed to his and the power struggle began. The push and pull of lips and tongues, the soft bites and sounds of pleasure in between breaths.

“You have no idea how badly I want you,” he said into my mouth.

“I think I do,” I responded as I pushed myself down onto him, feeling the full length of his erection through his pants.

He groaned and pushed me off his lap. I was standing before him, slightly confused. “Turn around,” he ordered.

Oh.

Edward carefully unzipped my dress and watched as it fell to the floor. He took my hand and helped me step out of the small pile of fabric on the floor. It was a rare feeling, but I felt beautiful before him in my satin heels, black lace panties and strapless bra, with my diamond necklace dancing across my neckline.

“So beautiful...” he mumbled as his lips pressed to my stomach. His hands roamed down my sides, over my hips, and up and down my thighs.

He turned me around and laid me gently on the bed. He partially undressed himself as I watched. His pants were discarded on the floor. He began to unbutton his shirt as he crawled back onto the bed.

I sat up on my knees. “I want to do that part.”

He smiled and dropped his hands. We were both sitting up on our knees in the center of my bed as I carefully and slowly unbuttoned each button on his shirt until I let it slide off his shoulders. He had a black t-shirt on underneath and I quickly pulled it over his head. I ran my hands up along his chest and across his shoulders.

“You’re so warm,” I said, as I melted into his embrace. My hand wound around his neck and my fingers got lost in his mess of hair.

His hands fell to my lower back as he gently laid us back down against the bed. I wanted to ravish him, but he was being so gentle with me, like he was afraid I was going to break. He peppered soft kisses all over me, my face, neck, chest, tummy and between my thighs. I was absolutely melting and wild with desire. Jake was good to me, but he never made me feel like Edward did.

I pushed Edward up and over onto his back. I straddled him and returned all the little kisses he had given me, but with a little more need.

Our lips met in a heated kiss.

“I want you so bad,” he said into my mouth.

I inhaled. “Take me, Edward. I’m yours.”

He smiled his beautiful smile before capturing my lips between his once more and showing me everything I never knew existed.

Eyes that smolder, lips that bite, hair that gets pulled, fingers that dig and nails that bend. No matter what we did, it wasn’t enough. I just couldn’t get him close enough to me. Even when he was inside me, I wanted him closer.

He felt amazing. His skin was soft, his arms were strong, his kisses were sweet, and his skills were off the charts. I felt inadequate compared to him. He made me come so many times I lost track.

When I finally climbed on top of him and made him climax, I felt relieved, and exhausted. I was concerned briefly that I had just had unprotected sex with a sex god. I was on the pill, I wasn’t worried about that, but I knew Edward was an experienced man. I fell asleep on his chest before I could ask him about it.

I woke a couple of hours later. I was warm, and in strong arms. I had never been so comfortable. My eyes fluttered open to see his staring back at me in the dark. He brushed a tendril of my hair out of my face as he leaned in to kiss me, and we started all over again.

We spent more time that night satisfying each other’s desires than we did sleeping. It was perfect, and a night that I will never soon forget.

***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading/reviewing! Trying to get back into the swing of weekly updates! We have a few more “London” chapters before we return to present day, not so sane, Bella. Enjoy. <3

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR

Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 7 - CLICK HERE***

Elusive Reality - Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

London, England - 2004

Edward and I had seen each other every day since the day we met two weeks ago. Being around him was like getting high. Not that I was familiar with that, but I imagined it would be a similar experience. I had to have my daily Edward fix. I was starting to think it was becoming unhealthy, so I challenged myself not to speak to him for an entire day. I was getting used to campus and didn’t need his help as much.

I had a long day on campus and an even longer evening in the library studying. I have to admit I was a little disappointed to retrieve my cell phone from my bag and see that he hadn’t called or messaged me.

I had to refrain from calling him on my way back home, that was generally our routine. It’s funny how something can become routine in such a short amount of time.

I entered my building and headed to my flat. I stepped on it before I noticed it. A single pink rose at the foot of my door with a small card attached. I grinned wildly, knowing it had to be from him. I picked up the rose, thankfully having only stepped on the stem of it, and smelled it. I opened the little card after I went inside.

Bella,

I’m sorry I missed you. I had to go out of town with my father on business. I’ll be back Thursday evening. Please reserve Friday night for me. I’ll need my fix of you when I return. I’ll call you soon.

Edward

I smiled and then cursed myself for staying late at the library. He had been here and I missed him. Now I wasn’t going to see him for two more days. Damn me. I sighed and placed the perfect pink rose in a cup of water. I didn’t have a vase. I placed it on the end table/night stand next to my bed. It was pretty. It made my flat a little brighter.

~

The following evening I went out to a pub with one of my classmates. Her name was Angela. She was really nice. We studied together and we both felt like we aced our exam so we went out for drinks to celebrate. Angela was going on about our professor while I was trying to pay attention to my text message conversation with Edward.

“Bella, are you even listening to me? Who is blowing up your phone?”

I laughed. “Yes, I’m sorry. I’m listening. I promise.”

“Are you talking to a guy?” Angela teased.

“Yes,” I replied.

“I didn’t know you were seeing somebody! You’ve only been here a few weeks! Who is it? What’s his name?”

“His name is Edward,” I said, as I was looking at my phone, distracted by typing a response to him.

“Edward?” she asked. “Not Edward Cullen, right?”

I looked up from my phone. “Uh, yes, actually. Why? Do you know him?” I internally prayed that he hadn’t slept with Angela.

“Do I know him? Doesn’t everyone? He’s only the biggest player in London. It was even worse when he was still at UW. Girls were all over him and he loved it. He’s never been a one woman kind of guy. Don’t you know? His dad is one of the wealthiest men in London. He has practically funded the International Business program and his company hosts the internships every year. Cullen Enterprises, you know?”

I just stared at her, slightly speechless, for a moment. “No, I didn’t know. I mean, I assumed he probably did okay, based on where he is living and some of the things he’s said, but I didn’t know he was that wealthy, or that promiscuous.”

Angela laughed. “Are you kidding? I heard he’s like a sex God. How is it? Seriously, give me details!”

I couldn’t wrap my head around what she was saying. I mean, sure, Edward has probably been around the block a few times. I suspected as much just from listening to his friends, but what I couldn’t understand is the fact that Edward hadn’t even attempted to get me in bed. I wonder if he didn’t want me that way. Maybe he wasn’t attracted to me? I was so confused.

“Come on, Bella, spill!” Angela continued.

I stuttered for a minute, searching for words. “We haven’t....”

“What? Yes you have! Don’t be shy!”

I shook my head. “No, we haven’t. Not at all. I mean, we’ve only kissed.”

Angela looked shocked. “What? How long have you been seeing him?”

“Just a couple of weeks.”

“That is so weird. Normally he would’ve already made you scream and left you.”

“Is that what he does?” I asked.

She nodded her head. “That’s what he did to Jessica and Lauren, and everyone else from the sounds of it.”

“Hm. Well, I don’t know. I mean, we’re just dating, I think. I mean, it’s nothing serious you know? We’re just having fun. He’s shown me around town and stuff, you know?”

Angela nodded. “Well, hey, you better play your cards right. He has serious pull at Cullen Enterprises. He could get you an amazing job at his father’s firm.”

I nodded my head and changed the subject. I stopped responding to Edward’s text messages. I needed to clear my head.

~

Six beers later I was stumbling into my dark apartment. I flipped on the light and fell onto my bed. I didn’t want to feel sad, but I did. I didn’t understand what was going on between Edward and I. If he was such a ladies man, why hadn’t he tried to seduce me? Lord knows I’d drop my panties for him in a heartbeat. Maybe he didn’t think I was attractive.

I sighed when I heard my phone beep for the tenth time.

Why aren’t you responding to me? Are you okay? - Edward

Because I’m confused. I don’t know what you want with me. I learned more about you tonight, from a classmate. - Bella

Before I had even set my phone down, it was ringing. It was Edward. I didn’t know if I even wanted to talk to him, but I had a lot of liquid courage and I figured it was better now than never.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Bella, what are you talking about? Who have you been talking to?”

“Just a girl from class. I mean, come on Edward, I know you’re not perfect. Just, please, just don’t play with me.”

Edward sighed. He cursed under his breath. “I’m not fucking playing with you, Bella! Are you kidding me?” he scoffed. “I’ve been nothing but gentlemanly to you.”

“I know, but apparently that isn’t your norm, and you haven’t even tried to touch me. So, I’m just confused. They all say all you want is sex, but you don’t seem to want that from me. Are you not attracted to me?”

“Are you kidding me? Are you even listening to yourself? How much have you had to drink?”

“How much I have had to drink is not relevant.”

Edward sighed. “Can we just talk about this when I get back? So I can actually see you when I speak to you?”

“No, we can’t.”

He sighed, a dejected sigh. “Bella, please.”

“We can talk about it now. I can’t function when you’re looking at me.”

He tried to hide his laugh.

“See, you know. You have me right where you want me.”

“Bella, stop. I’m not playing you. I’m not using you. I’m not playing mind games with you.”

“Then what are you doing?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know, Bella,” he said it so quietly I almost didn’t hear him. I felt tears sting my eyes. How could I like this boy so much in such a short amount of time?

He continued, “I just, I love being with you and of course I’m fucking attracted to you. Are you crazy? I have to constantly tell myself not to ravage you when you’re around. I admit, I’ve not been the best guy in the past, but you’re different. That’s why I haven’t touched you, as you say, because you’re different. Because you’re not one of them. You’re a lady. You’re not a whore or a slut or a one night stand, you’re so much more. I’m not worthy of you, Bella. I guess I’ve just been trying to convince myself that I was good enough, that a girl like you would want someone like me.”

I didn’t know what to say. I suddenly felt very sober. I mean, what do you say to that? “I...I don’t know what to say,” I whispered.

“I understand if you don’t want to see me again.”

“I do, though. I don’t know if I should, but I do.”

I could tell he was smiling. “I bet you look so fucking cute right now.”

I laughed. “Probably not.”

“Well listen, I’ve been completely honest with you tonight. I still want to take you out on Friday. I’m not playing any games with you. Will you agree to see me on Friday, please?”

“Yes.”

“Good. Well, I need to get some sleep, I have to get up soon. I’ll see you on Friday, okay?”

“Okay. I’m sorry I kept you up.”

“Don’t apologize. Goodnight, Bella.”

“Night, Edward.”

After I hung up I rolled over and grinned wildly at the pink rose in the glass of water next to my bed. He likes me. And he thinks I’m cute.


***Author’s Note: Hi! Sooooo sorry it took me forever to update. I’m swamped with work and w/ my fur babies. I’ll try to do better. Thanks for reading/reviewing. More to come soon. Promise.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR @ gmail (dot) com

***CHAPTER 6 - CLICK HERE***

Repentance - Chapter 33

CHAPTER 33:

On Monday night at 10:36 p.m., Molly Claire Cullen entered the world. She weighed six pounds and eight ounces. She had a head full of chocolate brown hair and her daddy’s crooked smile. I picked Molly and Edward picked Claire, after his grandmother.

Shortly before midnight, on the same night, an evil man lost his life. James was murdered at his parents’ home in Seattle shortly after Molly was born.

Charlie waited to tell us until the day after we were home from the hospital. He waited until Edward’s parents returned to their hotel for the evening.

“Thanks for coming, Dad. We really appreciate it.”

“Yeah, you’ve been a big help,” Edward chimed in. Charlie helped keep Masen entertained while we tended to Molly’s needs.

Charlie turned away from the door. “I’m not going just yet. I needed to talk to you two about something.”

Edward and I looked at each other and then at Masen, who was avidly playing with a little fishing game that Charlie had bought for him.

Charlie gave us both a look that said whatever it was he wanted to talk about shouldn’t be around Masen.

Edward and Charlie convinced Masen it was his bedtime. Edward let Charlie read him his bedtime story.

I waited for Molly to finish her bottle before I changed her diaper again and put her down in the bassinet in our room. I carried her monitor with me. I couldn’t stand to not be in the same room with her.

Charlie emerged a few minutes later.

“Well, I’ve got some news that might shock you guys,” Charlie said, facing us as we sat down on the couch.

Edward grabbed my hand and squeezed it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Bella, uh, shortly after Molly was born, James was murdered at his parent’s home here in Seattle. He’s dead.”

I gasped. “What?”

Edward stood quickly. “Who did it? Why?”

“They won’t tell me yet. I’m not sure they know. What I do know, is having Molly that night was the best possible thing you could’ve done.”

“Why?” We both asked in unison.

“Because you were their first suspect,” Charlie said, looking at Edward. “You’re the one with the most motive.”

I clutched on to Edward and he stood there speechless. “But, I’m not anymore, right? I mean, they know it couldn’t have been me.”

“Right. They came here to question you. They were surprised to find me and Masen here. I told them where you were and they confirmed it with the hospital. They know more than they’re letting on. I just don’t know all the answers yet.”

I didn’t know whether to celebrate or cry. As much I wanted to kill James for what he did to Edward and I, nobody deserved to die. “What happened?” I asked.

“He was shot, three times in the head at point blank range. He never had a chance.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m so confused. Who would want James dead? And what about the guy that took Masen? How does he fit into this?”

“I don’t know, Bella. I’m still looking into it. I’m not going back to Forks yet. I’m staying here a few more days, to get more answers. In the meantime though, I got you this.”

He pulled a small handgun from his bag.

“Dad, no. Absolutely not. I don’t want it.”

Edward stepped up and reached out for the gun. Charlie started showing him how to use it.

“Hello!” I screamed. They both acted like I wasn’t there. “I said no!”

“Bella, it’s for your own protection. You don’t know what these people are capable of.”

I was fuming. “I know that I don’t need to operate a gun and I don’t want a gun in my house. We have children!”

Edward and Charlie were looking at each other, trying to come up with a way around what I wanted.

“I said no,” I stated firmly. “Both of you disgust me. Masen is too young and too curious to have that in this house.”

“Bella, we can keep it somewhere safe, locked up even,” Edward added.

“Oh, yeah? A lot of good that does us when someone comes in here and puts a gun to our heads. Hey, Mr. Bad guy, can you hold on a minute while I go get my gun out of the safe? Yea. Fucking. Right.”

Edward’s eyes got big. He knows I’m serious if I’m cursing. “Bella, I would just feel so much better knowing you have this when you’re here alone.”

“Uh! Don’t you get it? I’m accident prone. I will shoot myself in the head and not even realize it! I don’t want that thing in my house! So help me God if you think you’re keeping that thing, you can go sleep somewhere else.”

“Bella...” Edward pleaded.

I turned my back on both of them, and then decided against it. I should make sure it leaves with my dad and that Edward just doesn’t hide it somewhere.

Edward caught on to what I was doing and reluctantly handed it back to my dad. I saw my Charlie out and nearly lost it when he was gone.

I didn’t know what to think or do. I didn’t know whether to be sad or angry or happy. James was still somebody’s son. Somebody cared about him and they lost him. Images of coming home and finding Edward nearly dead flashed behind my eyes. It scared me. Who would’ve killed James? I thought he was behind all this. Who was the guy that had Masen? So many unanswered questions and it really made me nervous now that James was gone.

I nearly jumped out of my shoes when I felt Edward touch me. I gasped.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “Where did you go? You completely spaced out.”

I shook my head and took a deep breath. “I was just thinking.”

“I’m sorry about the gun. It’s gone, okay? Don’t be mad at me. It was your dad’s idea.”

I nudged him playfully, but I guess he was right. It just irritated me that he was all for it, without even considering my clumsiness and the fact that we have children in the house that would think it was a brand new toy.

I finally let down my guard and turned to him. Edward opened his arms and I went to him, nuzzling my face into his chest. “Edward, I’m scared.”

“Don’t be, Bella.” He soothingly rubbed my back. “Everything is fine. He had his chance with us. If he wanted to hurt us, he had Masen. He could’ve...he didn’t.”

I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”

Edward kissed my forehead. “Let’s get some sleep before Molly gets hungry again.”

I made sure the door was locked, twice, before crawling into bed with Edward.

Between Molly and my imagination running wild, I didn’t close my eyes once.

~

Over the next few weeks we learned more about what was going on with James and the person who had been interfering with our lives lately. His name was Christopher Stallings. We had never met him before. He had a lengthy criminal record but mostly petty crimes and possession of drugs.

It took several days for the investigating officer to put all the pieces together. They had an informant working for them. It turns out Christopher Stallings had previously shared a jail cell with Laurent. Stallings was let out early on good behavior. Laurent had a bone to pick with James because James wouldn’t bail him out of jail. Laurent couldn’t put up the money himself. James was blaming Edward’s beating on Laurent. James was using Laurent as his defense in preparing for the trial.

Initially Laurent had given Stallings a few hundred bucks to try to scare us and make us and the police think that James was behind it. Laurent wanted James back behind bars. When the car accident didn’t work and James was still a free man, Laurent requested that Christopher take Masen and dispose of him. He wanted James to take the blame.

Fortunately for us, Christopher couldn’t go through with it. Christopher had a son when he was 16 that he never got see due to his criminal history. He may have been a bad man, but he couldn’t bring himself to harm a child. Laurent grew more and more frustrated as the trial grew closer and James was setting him up to be behind bars for the rest of his life. With Christopher out of the picture, Laurent hired someone to take out James, and in exchange, Laurent set up the hit man with his drug dealer who would supply him with drugs in exchange for the murder.

The murderer hadn’t been caught yet. Laurent wasn’t talking. Laurent told police he didn’t know the guy’s name, only that someone else in the prison set it up for him. Police were still looking into that and trying to track down James’ killer, but in the meantime, James was off the streets and Laurent’s motive for hurting us was gone.

Finally, we had the answers we had been searching for. James was gone, and he couldn’t hurt us anymore. There was no lengthy trial that we would have to sit through. Laurent accepted a plea bargain for the assault and attempted murder charges for what happened to Edward. The charges were dropped to aggravated assault only, and Laurent would spend a minimum of five years in prison. Laurent would also stand trial for the murder of James. He was facing life in prison for that crime. Eventually, his hit man sold him out in exchange for a reduced sentence.

For the first time in months, Edward and I could rest easy and enjoy our beautiful children.


***Author’s Note:

Hi all! Hope you enjoyed this chapter...because it is the last one. I know a lot happened and a lot of answers came out! Don’t worry, there’s an epilogue to follow - it will likely be posted on Christmas weekend. Thank you again for all the reviews!

Check out my newest story - Elusive Reality - it’s on my blog and FF.net.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR at gmail (dot) com.

<3

**EPILOGUE - CLICK HERE**

Elusive Reality - Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

Maricopia County Mental Health Institute - 2006

One thousand twenty-four, one thousand twenty-five, one thousand twenty-six...

“Swan!”

Lunch was here. I took my tray and sat on my bed. On the menu today was a tuna sandwich, broccoli, and jello pudding. Tuna was always on Mondays...so today was Monday. That’s about all I knew. I couldn’t remember anything today. They must have increased the dosage of my medication. Today I had to look at my wrist band to even remember my own name, and even then it didn’t seem familiar. The “Swan” part seemed familiar, but that’s because that is what they call me here. Isabella meant nothing to me.

Today, all I know, is that I like to count because it helps me keep time. I took a bite of my tuna sandwich and wondered why I was here. I didn’t know any other place I should be, though. I did know that I got some crayons and paper and that was something new. I was going to explore with them after I ate.

The broccoli still seemed frozen today. It was really hard and cold. The jello was good though. It tasted like it actually had sugar in it instead of that artificial crap. It was watermelon flavor, my favorite!

I ate all my food and slid my tray through the little hole in the door and then I grabbed my crayons and paper. It was so exciting to feel like I actually owned something. The only physical thing in this room that I could move was my toothbrush, and it was made of rubber.

I quickly discovered that I liked to color. My hand moved of its own accord. I didn’t really have any conscious knowledge of the picture I was drawing, it just seemed like it drew itself. It wasn’t pretty. I don’t know why I drew it.

I drew a stick figure, a woman, with a big knife in her heart. There was blood everywhere. Her heart was bleeding. The woman seemed familiar, but today I couldn’t remember who she was. But, whoever it was, deserved the knife in her heart. That much I knew for sure. Maybe the woman was me. It certainly felt like I had a knife in my heart most days. I can’t remember why today, but it seems like I remember my heart hurting a lot. I felt like I was always on the brink of remembering something huge, something life changing, but I can never quite grasp it.

After I drew about ten disturbing pictures, all including the same stick woman, I took a nap. There wasn’t much else to do around here except for sleep. I have strange dreams when I take my medication. I had a dream about that pretty guy again. I know that I am supposed to know him, but I cannot remember him today. In my dream he was laughing and happy, and so was I. I cannot describe the feelings that erupt in me when I see that guy smiling in my dreams. He’s so beautiful. I feel safe and warm around him. If it wasn’t for wanting to know who he was and if those were really dreams or if they were actually memories, I’d probably never stop taking my medication. I didn’t want to remember the hurt I felt with respect to my father, but I desperately wanted to remember the happiness I felt with the copper haired man of my dreams.

I didn’t take my medication for the following two nights. I wanted to remember him. Edward. I remembered his name. Unfortunately, that was about all I remembered. That night I dreamt something terrible. I mean, I’ve dreamt of things much worse, but for some reason this dream stuck with me and it made my heart ache. It made my heart feel like it weighed a hundred pounds on its own. It was so heavy, so difficult to carry the weight around with me. It was hard to breath. What if the dream was true? The look on his face. I’ll never forget the look on his face when he gave up, when he concluded that I was never coming back.


I’m there, in the room with him, but he doesn’t see me. He doesn’t know I’m there. I’m hovering. Watching. Invisible. He looks lost and desperate and horribly depressed. He’s in my flat. He came through the door and sighed. He looked around aimlessly before closing the door behind him. He watered my little potted plant near the window. He swept the hardwood floors. He opened the curtains to let the morning sun in. He laid down on my unmade bed. He caressed the sheets and closed his eyes as he inhaled a deep breath. “Bella,” he whispered my name, “I miss you.” He tossed and turned on my bed, eyes closing and opening, memories flooding his mind, the pain evident on his face.

Day turned to night. He stayed. Night turned day. More watering, sweeping, cleaning, caring, smelling, tossing and turning. Day turned night. Nightmares. He had nightmares. Night turned to day. More watering, sweeping, cleaning, caring, smelling, tossing and turning. Day turned to night. Night turned to day. Day turned to night. Night turned to day.

Emmett arrived. “Edward, you have to quit to this. You have to get out of here. She’s not coming back.”

Edward didn’t want to believe him. He continued with his routine.

Emmett pulled the broom from Edward’s hands. “Dude! Quit! You can’t continue on like this. We’re leaving. She’s not here. She’s not coming back.” Emmett put his hand on Edward’s shoulder apologetically. “You only knew her six months man, maybe she wasn’t who you thought she was...”

I screamed from my invisible silent location. Nothing audible left my lips. I couldn’t hear myself. They couldn’t hear me. I wanted to scream that I was there, that I wanted to come back, that I was who he thought I was. They couldn’t hear me.

Edward’s shoulders fell. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” His eyes looked down, and then around the room. He looked deflated. Hurt. Done. They both turned and left. The door slammed.

It slammed so loud it woke me from my sleep. I replayed the dream in my mind over and over that day. I hated it. I think Edward was real. I think he loved me. I think I left London and never returned, without a word. I think I broke his heart. He’s never going to come find me.

I cried the remainder of the day. I felt helpless and trapped. I tried to only focus on Edward so I wouldn’t think about my dad. I decided then that I needed to do something to help myself. I couldn’t wait for someone to rescue me. That night, I started writing things down that I remembered, whether I thought they were real or not. I just needed something to look back to when I was confused. I needed to start putting pieces together.

I used my crayons and paper to keep up with my memories or imagination, however you wanted to look at it. I kept the log inside my pillow case. At least I’d have something to refer to, something concrete when I knew my mind was in the right place.


***Author’s Note:

Sorry for the delay in getting this posted...I have a new fur baby and he’s keeping me awfully busy! Thanks for reading and reviewing....the next several chapters take place in London, this is the last we see of Bella for a little while.

Twitter: @ AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllOrNothingKR @ gmail(dot) com

***CHAPTER 5 - CLICK HERE***