Never Think - Chapter 13

CHAPTER 13:

The first few weeks without Rob were pretty painful. I slipped into a pretty deep depression and I didn’t want to talk to him, or anybody else. Part of me loved the baby inside of me, but the other part of me hated it, because I was sure it would ruin my life. I already had to pass on some great movie offers that I was really excited about. I was only 19 years old. I didn’t want a house, and a baby, and baby daddy drama. I wanted to be 19. I wanted to go out and have fun. I wanted to drink too much and act stupid. I wanted to drive fast. I wanted to explore my relationship with Rob more. I wanted to make great movies. I wanted to sleep late. I wanted to travel. I wanted everything a baby wouldn’t allow me to have. And that’s all assuming the baby was Rob’s. The remainder of my life would surely be a living hell if the baby was Michael’s. I couldn’t help this horrible feeling of eventually losing Rob if the baby was Michael’s. There was just no way our relationship could survive Michael’s childish games.

My phone ringing shook me from my thoughts. I glanced at the caller Id. It was Rob. Again. I hated even talking to him because he knew something was wrong and I didn’t want to talk about it with him. He was so utterly excited about the baby that it sort of made me sick. I thought maybe he was playing up his excitement a bit to help me, but it really wasn’t. I begrudgingly answered my phone.

“Hey,” I answered.

“Hey, love. Where have you been? I’ve been calling you all day.”

I nearly laughed. “I’ve been here. I haven’t left this fucking house since you left!” I raised my voice.

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

I felt bad. I had been ignoring most of his calls since he left. I was lucky if I talked to him once a day. I did text message him occasionally though. I never called him. “No, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to yell at you.”

He sighed. “Kristen, please tell me what is going on with you. Things haven’t been the same between us since I left. I don’t understand.”

“What’s going on with me? I’m pregnant, Rob! There’s an alien inside me and there’s a 50 percent chance it belongs to the devil! There’s not a whole lot for me to be happy about!”

“Then give it up for adoption,” he said sternly.

That surprised me. It made me think. I already knew the answer though. “I can’t.” I said quietly. “I just wish it never happened.”

“Well it did, and we have to deal with it. Stop pushing me away, or you can deal with it by yourself. I have enough on my plate without having to wonder if you’re going to be there when I get home.”

I was speechless. I knew I was being distant, but it didn’t mean I was going anywhere. I felt like such a bitch. I knew I was the pregnant one, but he was the one who was sticking around to help me raise a kid that may not even be his. I felt tears pooling in my eyes and when I blinked, the dam broke.

“Rob, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere. All I have is you,” I cried.

I could hear the relief in his voice. “Kristen, it’s okay. Stop crying. I didn’t mean to upset you. I know this is hard on you. I just wish I could be there. I feel like I’m not doing enough.”

“You’re doing more than enough. You’ve been perfect. I’ve been a huge whiney bitch.”

Rob laughed. “Just a little.”

I laughed too, wiping at my tear stained cheeks. I took a deep breath and blew it out. “I’m sorry, really. I’m going to try to be better.”

“I can deal with you being bitchy, but just answer the damn phone at least. I worry about you when you don’t answer.”

“Okay, I promise I’ll do better.”

“Okay. I have to get back on set. Almost a month down, two to go. I miss you like crazy.”

“I miss you too. I love you, Rob.”

“I love you too, baby. I’ll call you later.”

I felt better after having talked to him. I wanted him, I just didn’t want a freaking baby! I decided I’d try to relax and take a warm bath.


****

By the time another month passed, I had nearly driven myself insane. I wanted out of the house so bad. I wanted to see people. I wanted to feel the sun on my skin. I wanted to have a conversation with someone, other than Rob and my parents. After much thought and several pestering phone calls from Nikki, I agreed to let her come over. I’m sure she could could keep a secret. At least I hoped she could. Everyone was going to find out in a few months anyway. I hadn’t told her before she arrived. She would understand as soon as she saw me.

She arrived right on time and I opened the door. I had missed her. I threw my arms around her neck and hugged her. When I stepped back and noticed her looking at me with her mouth hanging open, I started to get a little self conscious.

“Wow, so the rumors are true.”

“Rumors?” I asked.

“Yea, everybody was suspecting you were pregnant and that’s why you pushed Eclipse back.”

“Everybody?”

“Most of the cast,” she clarified.

“Shit. Well, come on in.”

We both plopped down on my oversized leather couch.

“So, you and Rob are like...going to do the family thing?”

“Uh, yea. Sort of,” I said.

“Sort of?”

“Well...” I took a deep breath. “I’m not sure it’s his.”

I thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head. “WHAT?!”

“I was with him and Michael around the same time it happened. Michael had been fucking with my birth control pills for four months, unbeknownst to me.”

“Wow, Kristen. I’m sorry.” She hugged me and it felt good. “What does Michael have to say about this?”

“He doesn’t know. You can’t say anything.”

“I won’t,” she assured me. “Do you know the sex yet?”

I shook my head no. “I’m supposed to find out next week.”

“That’s so exciting! I get to throw you a baby shower!!” She squealed.

“That’s really not necessary,” I insisted.

She went on and on about it and I eventually got to show her around the house. We made lunch and watched movies in the theater room until I couldn’t hold my eyes open anymore. I begged her to stay the night with me, but she had an early appointment in the morning. We said our goodbyes and promised to see each other again soon.

The following week, everything fell apart. I mean everything.

It started just before my ultrasound appointment. My mom was running late to pick me up because the paparazzi were following her and she was having a hard time losing them. We eventually decided I’d meet her at the doctor’s office because I didn’t want those guys finding out where I lived. As I stood in our garage looking at the two cars that occupied it, I couldn’t decide which one to drive. I wanted to drive my Mini, but I knew the paparazzi would recognize it. The other car, a Jaguar XF, was Rob’s. He purchased it just before he left for New York, saying the Mini wasn’t safe enough for a baby, and it was too small for a car seat. Rob had only driven the Jag around the driveway. I’d never touched it. It was huge. I went back inside and stared at the keys momentarily before calling Rob.

“Do you already know?” he answered. I told him I’d call him as soon as I found out the sex of the baby.

“Oh, no. I haven’t left yet. The paps are following my mom, I don’t want them to know where we live. I need to meet her there. Can I drive your car?”

Silence.

“Rob?”

“The Jag?” he asked.

“Yea.”

“Um...yes, I guess that would be okay.”

I laughed. “I’m a better driver than you are!”

He laughed too. “I know, it’s just an expensive car! Go ahead, and be careful and call me as soon as you know something, I’ve got to get back on set.”

“Okay, thanks, baby. I love you.”

“I love you too. I’ll see you in a month!!”

“I know! I can’t wait! I’ll talk to you later.”

As soon as I got off the phone I grabbed the keys to the Jag and got in. It took me nearly fifteen minutes to figure out how everything worked and get the seat and mirrors situated to my liking. It was a nice car. I took a deep breath and headed out.

After I parked the car in the parking garage I called my mom. She said the paps wouldn’t leave her alone and they kept asking about me. She said she already went into the doctor’s office, hoping they would leave.

I knew they hadn’t left. They were waiting outside the elevators in the parking garage. I saw them when I came in. I looked down at the oversized t-shirt I was wearing, and I wished it was colder so I could have worn a jacket. It was the middle of summer. It was pretty obvious I was pregnant. I took a deep breath and got out of the car. I shut the door very quietly so as to not draw attention to myself. I put my sunglasses on and walked quietly to the elevators, hiding behind a larger woman who was heading the same direction that I was.

I was lucky in that as soon as the woman pressed the button to summon the elevator, the doors opened. I didn’t see any flashes, but I heard them say, “there she is!” as soon as I stepped on the elevator. I quickly pushed the close door button before they could snap a picture.

Everything after that was pretty much a blur. The baby was getting big. I saw its little fingers and toes on the ultrasound. The doctor and the ultrasound tech said everything looked good. I should have been happy, but I wasn’t. I wanted Rob. I didn’t want a girl. It was girl. A girl. I don’t like girls. I don’t like pink. I don’t like frilly dresses. I don’t know what to do with a girl. I cried almost as soon as they said it was girl. They thought they were happy tears. They were actually scared to death tears.

It only got worse from there. Mom and I were bombarded with paparazzi when we reached the garage. I had only gotten two steps out of the elevator when they started surrounding us from all sides. They asked how far along I was. I looked at my mom and my tears won the fight then. My gig was up.

As I tried to get into my car, they were still surrounding me. They were pushing each other and one of them fell into my door, closing it on me. I was pinned between the car door and the door frame. I screamed out in pain and they finally moved and pulled the door open. I quickly got in my car and locked the doors. I sat there and cried, for an hour. I had to calm down before I tried to drive. I had to get Rob’s car back to the house in one piece.

I finally lost the paparazzi after two hours. My Jag was faster than their pieces of shit. Just as I walked in the door my phone started beeping, signaling a new text message.

It’s already all over the news. I’m sorry sweetie. It’ll be okay. Call me if you need me. - Mom

I sat in the floor in my kitchen and cried and cried and cried. My phone rang non-stop after that first text message and I ignored it all. I finally pulled myself up off the floor after it got dark outside. It was then that I realized I hadn’t really eaten much all day and I was starving. I was craving pickles. I loved pickles lately. I made a sandwich and ate it, along with three pickles. I sat frozen on my bar stool in the kitchen as I noticed headlights shining through the windows. Someone was here. It was nearly 8:00 p.m. and I wasn’t expecting anyone. We needed a peep hole. I made a mental note to put that on my to-do list.

I cautiously opened the door and regretted it as soon as I did. Michael.

“Can we please talk?” he asked.

I shook my head no. “I can’t do this right now.”

“Are you okay? I saw the pictures.”

“I’m sure you did, because you’re fucking stalking me. How did you know where I live?”

“I’m not. My mom saw it on the news. Nikki told me how to get here.”

“What?? Nikki?”

“Yea, she’s out of town. She said you wouldn’t answer you’re phone, she was worried about you. When you didn’t answer my calls either, I told her I’d stop by to check on you.”

I shook my head in disbelief. I was going to kill her.

“Can I come in, please? Can’t we just talk about this?”

“Under one condition.”

“What?”

“Don’t touch me and if I say leave, you better fucking leave.”

“Fair enough.”

I stepped aside and let him in. We sat on opposite sides of the couch.

“So, do you know if it’s mine or his?” he asked.

I couldn’t look at him. I shook my head no and those damn tears started burning my eyes again.

“Kris, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for things to happen like this.”

I turned to look at him. “You didn’t mean for this to happen?? You fucking did this to me! Whether its yours or his. You did this, Michael! You fucked up my life, my career, everything. You knew I didn’t want kids. I will never forgive you. Ever!”

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Is there anything else you want? If not, you can leave.”

“Well, I mean...I want to be there if it’s mine.”

I shook my head. “I’ll call you to arrange a paternity test after she’s born. You will not be present at her birth.”

“It’s a girl?” he asked.

I shook my head and cursed myself under my breath for letting that slip. I hadn’t even told Rob yet.

“Well, I want to be there. I have a right to be there if she could be mine.”

“Fuck off, Michael. You lost any rights you may have had when you did all this shit to me! If she is yours, I’ll do everything in my power to keep her away from you. Rob would be a better father than you anyway.” That pissed him off. As he flew to his feet, I did the same, instantly backing away from him.

“Don’t look at me like that; I’m not going to hurt you,” he said.

“I’m never sure anymore,” I said seriously. “I want you to leave now, and don’t come back. Ever. I’ll contact you if I need you.”

“You can’t do this, Kristen.”

At that moment I heard the front door swing open and close loudly. I stepped around the corner to see Rob standing there, coming towards me. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Rob?” A huge smile spread across my face and I ran to him. I threw my arms around his neck, and flinched momentarily as his arms went around my waist. I must have been bruised from the car door slamming on me.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“I am now. Don’t freak out. He’s leaving.”

He set me down then. “Who?”

As if on cue, Michael walked around the corner. I thought I heard Rob growl for a moment.

“Get out!” Rob demanded.

Michael walked towards the door, stopping as he met Rob. “If she’s mine, I will see her.”

Rob looked at me.

“It’s a girl,” I said.

“You won’t see shit, Michael. I don’t care if she is yours.” Rob suddenly grabbed Michael by the collar on his shirt and threw him against the back of the door. “If you ever touch Kristen again, so help me God, I will kill you. You will never see that baby. I hope she’s mine and I hope you curse yourself everyday for creating such a fucked up plan, and watching how beautifully it turns out in our favor. Get out!” Rob let him go and opened the door. Michael walked out willingly.

“I have to say, I’m impressed,” I said, admiring Rob’s way with Michael.

Rob laughed. “I had a bit to drink on the plane. Liquid courage.”

I went to him, wrapping my arms around him. “What are you doing here?”

“My agent saw what happened on the news. I saw the pictures. You wouldn’t answer your phone. I had to come. I was worried sick about you.”

I squeezed him tighter. “Thank you. You’re exactly what I needed.” I started crying into his chest. “Rob, I don’t know what to do with a girl. I don’t want it to be his. It can’t be. I can’t deal with him for the next 18 years, I can’t.”

His hand ran up and down my back reassuringly. “It’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

I don’t know how long we stood in the foyer holding each other like that. It seemed like a long time. I just didn’t want to let go.

“You’ve really grown,” Rob said, referring to my stomach.

I looked down. “Yea, I can’t believe I’m going to be a mom in four months. I can’t even fathom it yet.” I shook my head and walked away from Rob, sitting on the couch.

He followed me and sat beside me. He leaned back on the couch and blew out a deep breath. He looked agitated.

I turned to look at him. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head. “I have to be back by 10:00 a.m. My flight leaves at 4:30 a.m.”

“Are you serious? That’s in like...seven hours.”

He exhaled. “I know, I just had to make sure you were okay. I wanted to see you, if only for seven hours. I feel terrible not being able to be here, and especially now that Michael knows. If you would have just answered your damn phone I wouldn’t have had to fly across the country.”

“I just needed a fucking minute to myself. Sorry I made you fly across the country.” I got off the couch and stomped to our bedroom, slamming the door. I heard him yelling my name after me.

“Kristen!”


***Author’s Note: Sorry to leave ya’ll hanging like that, but it was the best place to stop! I hope you enjoyed it nonetheless! Also, check out my new Robsten mini series! Read the introduction first here:

http://twisagagrl118.blogspot.com/2010/01/robsten-lyrical-mini-series-rlms.html

And the first part here:

http://twisagagrl118.blogspot.com/2010/01/rlms-1-i-cant-stay-away.html

Thanks! Enjoy and leave comments! You should be able to comment anonymously now!

Follow me on Twitter for the latest on updates! @AllOrNothingKR

**CHAPTER 14 - CLICK HERE**

RLMS (1) "I Can't Stay Away"

This one shot is based on the lyrics of the following song. I’ve included the lyrics for your convenience!

I Can’t Stay Away... (by The Veronicas)

This is wrong
I should be gone
Yet here we lay
'Cause I can't stay away

Roses bloom
In your dirty room
I come to play
'Cause I can't stay away
No I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I was numb
For you I come
Night and day
And I can't stay away
No I can't stay away

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I wish I could
Leave and never return
Baby, I know I should
But for you I'd burn

Stay away
'Cause I can't stay away-ay

I'm conflicted
I inhale now I'm addicted
To this place
To you babe
I can't stay away
Can't stay away
We get up, we go down
Then we go one more round
It's wrong, they say
I can't stay a- I can't stay away
No I can't stay a- I can't stay away

I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away
I can't stay away





I Can’t Stay Away

I know this is wrong. You know this is wrong. We do it anyway.

I have a boyfriend, who is my best friend. I’m only 17. Maybe that’s why I find you so intriguing. When I’m with you, I forget about him.

We’ve been warned, by everyone. This is forbidden. You are four years my senior and we work together. There are clauses in our contracts about this. However, everything about you intoxicates me. You own me and you don’t even know it. I try to act so unaffected by you, but everything inside me is screaming your name.

I sit in my hotel room, two doors down from yours, wondering if I should come to you tonight. It had been nearly a month since we misbehaved. We still hung out frequently after filming had wrapped for the day, but we always tried to behave. This physical thing we had was completely unspoken of. It was like we were afraid to admit that it ever happened, multiple times.

I left your room only an hour ago. We ate pizza and watched late night television. We played guitar and laughed at each other. We went our separate ways at midnight. We normally tried to get at least a few hours of sleep.

This was all your fault anyway. We had always been friends, we always hung out. One night when we first started filming, I left your room to head to mine. A couple hours later, I realized I had left my cell phone in your room. I knocked on your door, for a few minutes. When you finally came to the door, you wearing only a towel. You had just gotten out of the shower. I couldn’t speak. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t make words come out of my mouth. There was this bulge in the towel and I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. I literally couldn’t make my eyes move from that spot.

It was all down hill from there. We never spoke about that night, or the several nights that followed. It was always sporadic and random. We didn’t pressure each other. We never talked about it. It just happened.

I wanted it to happen again. Every time was better than the last. I couldn’t fight it anymore. I wandered down the hall in my little tank top and flannel pants. I knocked on your door while I tried to think of an excuse as to why I would be there.

You opened the door and smiled that crooked smile at me. I turned to mush.

“I can’t stay away,” I said softly.

That crooked smile got bigger. “Good,” you responded. You pulled me into your room and into your arms. You kissed me like I had never been kissed before. Your kisses were passionate, desperate, all inspiring. In that moment, I had never wanted anything more in my entire life.

We twirled aimlessly towards the bed as we frantically tried to remove each other’s clothing. I stumbled backwards to the bed, thinking it was closer than it was. Your hand was there to catch me when I began to fall. You lowered me to the bed, all the while never breaking eye contact with me. Your eyes pierced mine and I couldn’t look away. Your eyes can see straight through me. I hoped they saw how truly affected I was by you.

Your hands came around to the front of me, trailing down my stomach. You gently pulled off my flannel pajama pants. I didn’t have anything on underneath. That silly grin spread across your face, and it made my heart swell. I scooted back on the bed, and you followed, hovering above me. Your eyes ran up and down my bare body, taking it all in. I didn’t feel nervous, or shy. It was kind of exciting. I ran my hands up your bare chest and pulled you down to me so I could kiss you. Your lips felt like heaven on Earth, soft, moist and gentle. You always handled me like I was the most delicate creature. It was endearing.

You peppered soft kisses along my jaw and down my neck before drawing lazy circles with your tongue in the crook of my neck. I smiled to myself, wondering how I went an entire month without this, without you like this.

As your messy hair brushed across my face, I inhaled your scent. It was dark, smokey, natural and most of all, addictive.

Your lips found mine again. Our tongues danced a slow, sensual dance for a long time. Tasting you was like tasting sugar for the first time, so sweet. As much as I enjoyed kissing you, another part of my body was screaming for your undivided attention.

I gently pushed you up, just barely separating our lips. “Take me, touch me, feel me,” I barely whispered the words against your lips. A fire ignited in your eyes. Your tongue trailed down my body, between my breasts, and down my stomach. When your hands gripped my hips, it sent a chill through me. Your hands moved down between my legs, tracing the inside of my thighs. I could feel your breath against my most sensitive area and it was nearly my undoing. You trailed kisses from the inside of right my thigh, starting at my knee, and slowly making your way North. Just when I thought you would finally taste me, you backed away, and followed suit with my left thigh. Feeling your hands and lips on me was the most wonderful of sensations, but I wanted more.

“Rob, I want you. Please!” I breathed.

With that, a throaty moan escaped you and you ran one finger down between my folds. “I know you do. You’re so wet, Kristen,” you said, as you explored me with your finger again.

I moaned, pleading with you. You finally tasted me and explored me with your wet velvet tongue. Everything inside me was on fire. My limbs were cold, but I felt flames clawing at the underside of my skin, begging to escape.

When your fingers entered me and moved inside me in perfect rhythm to your tongue against my bundle of nerves, the flames escaped. The most pleasurable sensation crashed over me like a wave. It started at my center and rolled outwards, like the epicenter of an earthquake. I didn’t begin to catch my breath until the waves rolled out into a smooth sea.

My knees shook and I gently pushed you from between my legs, as I was too sensitive to handle your touch any longer. Your hands gently covered my shaking knees, steadying them. You smiled down at me, and I grinned back at you.

“That, is the reason I can’t stay away,” I breathed in satisfaction.

You let go of my knees and settled between my legs. As you put most of your weight on your right arm, your left hand traced my silhouette, from my hip, all the way to my lips. You traced my bottom lip with your thumb, before gently pushing a stray strand of my hair back behind my ear. “Is that the only reason you can’t stay away?” you whispered.

My breath hitched. My heart stopped beating. What did you mean?

I answered the best way I knew how. “There a million more reasons why I can’t stay away from you.” My hand came up to cup your face and I kissed you with everything I had. I wanted you to know, I meant what I said.

When I finally freed your lips from mine, you looked away and sighed, in what sounded like frustration.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

I caught you off guard. You quickly glanced back to me, and put on a pretend smile. “Nothing is wrong. Everything is perfect.” You kissed me again and I quickly forgot your troubled look.

You gently spread my legs apart and I felt you, hard and ready, at my entrance. A huge grin swept my face in anticipation of you inside me. You laughed at me and then you filled me.

I felt my eyes roll back in my head. I don’t know why you felt so different from my boyfriend, but you did. You felt amazing. You made me feel beautiful and wanted.

I loved seeing you so vulnerable. At any other time, we’re just good friends, and you make a joke of everything. Now, though, when we’re like this, you’re serious. You always joke about liking me, about me leaving my boyfriend. When we’re like this, I believe you.

Feeling you move rhythmically inside me was incredible. You left no square inch of my body untouched. I wanted to explore you like that. I pushed against you and you stopped moving.

“What?” you asked.

“Um...” I shyly glanced away, before bringing my eyes back to yours. “I’d like to go for a ride.”

Your grin was heart stopping. You put an arm around my waist, behind my back, and in one motion, you flipped us, without ever leaving my body. Now I was on top, ready to ride the Rob roller coaster. I looked your naked body over, wondering where to start my assault first. You were so different from Michael, and I loved it. I loved your long, lean frame, the spattering of chest hair, your soft happy trail, I loved it all. I leaned down against your chest and kissed you, everywhere my lips could reach.

Your hands tightly gripped my hips, guiding me at your pace. I wanted to go at my own pace.

I sat back, my hands covered yours and slowly moved them up my body, resting over my breasts. “Here,” I said, referring to where I wanted them. “Please keep your hands inside the ride, on the handle bars, at all times, until we come to a complete stop.”

You smiled back at me as you kneaded my breasts in your hands. “This is going to be one hell of a ride,” you said.

I leaned down to you, and whispered in your ear, “Is that a promise?” I asked, before nibbling your ear lobe.

You moaned, delighted. “What has gotten into you, Kristen?”

“You,” I answered honestly. We both smiled simultaneously and I began moving on top of you. You felt so good. I closed my eyes, as I picked up the pace, and enjoyed the sensations of your hands on me and you inside me.

At one point I opened my eyes, only to find yours staring back at me intently. Neither one of us spoke, we just looked at each other. I don’t know why, but it was so erotic. You broke our staring contest first. You clinched your teeth momentarily and your eyes shut. Your face squished up so cutely.

“Ohhh, Kristen!”

I smiled to myself. That was always my favorite part, listening to you say my name. I rocked my hips against yours even harder, your hands raked across my skin, over my breasts and down my stomach, latching on to my hips. You began thrusting your hips into mine at the exact time I thrust mine into yours. We were in perfect rhythm. I felt everything inside me start to scream. I felt that little familiar tingling feeling building between my legs.

Your eyes were squeezed tightly shut and, for a change, you were biting your bottom lip.

You moaned, “Fuck, Kristen, I’m about to come...”

We never used protection. It just didn’t start out that way, and I wanted nothing between us. Normally, though, that would be my queue to slip off of you and take you in my mouth. This time though, I was enjoying the look on your face entirely too much to move.

The pressure continued to build between my legs and I could feel you tensing inside me. You stopped thrusting and began pushing at my hips, warning me to move. I held on. I rocked my hips harder against you. The friction was sending me over the edge.

We came at the same time. I’ve never heard a more beautiful sound, than that of you saying my name when you came.

I collapsed onto your chest. Your arms instantly surrounded me, your finger tips drawing a beautiful portrait against my skin.

“That was wonderful,” I said as I nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

I could feel you smile and I smiled too. I eventually left the comfort of you and excused myself to the bathroom to clean up. I never stayed the night, normally. But I so badly wanted to on this night. I wasn’t sure what you’d think of that.

I came out of the bathroom, you appeared to already be asleep. I quietly crawled in bed next to you. I wanted to touch you, but I didn’t want to wake you. As I lay next to you contemplating what to do, you rolled on to your side, towards me, and scooped me up next you. I smiled contently, loving your smell and your warmth.

“Kris?”

I thought you were sleeping. “Yea?”

“Remember when you asked what was wrong with me earlier?” you asked.

“Yes.”

“There is something wrong.”

I turned my head so I could see you behind me. “What is it?” I asked.

You sighed and looked me directly in the eyes. “I don’t want to share you anymore.”

I smiled, “Rob, I don’t want to be shared.”

We kissed briefly before falling asleep together, and in that moment, everything was bliss.




***Author’s Note: Hope you guys like this! Let know what your suggestions for future songs are!

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Robsten Lyrical Mini Series (RLMS) - INTRODUCTION

Hello everyone! Thanks for hanging in there with me, it’s been a rough year so far! I’m starting a new Robsten mini series of sorts and this blog is just to tell you about it! It’s going to be called “Robsten Lyrical Mini Series”. It’s a collection of one-shots based on lyrics of a song. I decide on what lyrics I want to use first, and then I write the one shot. They are going to be a little x-rated! I know some of you will be thrilled with that, and some of the younger ones, not so much! I don’t think anything I write will be “vulgar,” but you use your own judgment. I’m sure most of you have done worst things behind closed doors!

I’ve chosen the first song myself, but I’d like you all to chose future ones! Feel free to leave comments/song suggestions here (you should be able to leave them anonymously now) or you can get them to me via Twitter! (@AllOrNothingKR). Or, if your not technologically inclined to do either of those, you can email me directly at AllOrNothingKR@gmail.com. So, if you hear a song you like and you want me to write something to it...let me know!

The titles of the new series will be “RLMS (1) ___________” and the name of the song will go in the blank - so that’s how you can locate them in the archive. I’ll be posting the very first one next! I hope to maybe do a couple of these a month, but not as frequently as weekly so I can keep up with the other stories!

I’m going to post the first RLMS one-shot and then I will update Never Think! Thank the blizzard Tennessee is getting for all this updating in one day!

Enjoy!

Repentance - Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3:

It was late when I got in and Alice was asleep on the couch. She woke up when I closed the door behind me.

“Hey,” she yawned. “How did it go?”

I grinned from ear to ear. “It went really well.”

She laughed and patted the spot next to her on the couch. “Tell me everything!”

We sat on the couch for over an hour and I told her every little detail. She was really excited for me.

“He’s so gorgeous, Alice. I just don’t get what he sees in me! We’re from two different worlds.”

“Stop being so hard on yourself, Bella. Any man would be lucky to have you!”

I sighed. “Well, I guess we’ll see if he calls tomorrow. I don’t want to like him, but I do.”

Alice laughed. “Why don’t you want to like him? What isn’t to like! He’s gorgeous, rich and smart!”

“I don’t know. I just don’t want to get hurt.”

“You have to learn to take risks, Bella. No pain, no gain.”

“Yea, in case you haven’t noticed, Alice, I’m not much of a risk taker,” I laughed.

“Maybe it’s time for change, Bella,” Alice said seriously.

“Maybe, but it’s still early. What do I tell him if he asks about Masen?”

“I don’t know. I was wondering about that too.”

I sighed. “I’m not telling him the truth, I can’t.”

Alice shook her head in agreement. “How about your high school sweetheart? When you got pregnant, he left. That sounds good, right?”

I laughed. “I guess.”

“I’ve got to get going. See you next week!”

“Okay, thanks again.”

She smiled and let herself out.

I didn’t sleep much that night. I couldn’t help but see Edward’s striking features when I closed my eyes. I found myself wondering what he looked like without clothes on. Those thoughts especially scared me.

I was grateful when the sun finally rose and I could get out of bed. I used the few hours Masen slept in to get some homework and cleaning done. It was shortly before noon when I heard my cell ringing. I tripped over one of Masen’s toys while running to the kitchen to find my purse.

“Hello?” I answered, breathless. Masen was still laughing loudly at my clumsiness.

Edward laughed. “What’s got him so tickled?”

I laughed too. “He’s laughing at me. I tripped trying to get to the phone.”

“I wish I could’ve seen that!”

“No, really, it was quite embarrassing, even if he’s the only one who saw it.”

Edward laughed again. “Well, I hope it’s not too soon, but I wanted to see if you’d like to go to dinner again, tonight perhaps?”

“Um...,” I hesitated. “Well, I’d like to, but I don’t think I am able to.”

“You can say no, if you want.”

I laughed. “No, I mean, no, I want to.” I fumbled my words. “Its just that, I can’t ask Alice to keep Masen again. The weekends are the only time she and Jasper really get together and I kept her from him last night.”

“Is Jasper her boyfriend?”

“Oh, yea, sorry.”

He laughed. “That’s alright. Well, you can say no, but what if I make you and Masen dinner, at my place. I really like you, Bella. I know our schedules are insanely busy during the week, so I guess I’m being greedy by wanting to see you again tonight.”

I giggled and my heart raced. “Are you sure? I mean, dealing with me is one thing, but dealing with me and Masen will be a handful.”

Edward laughed. “I’m sure I can handle it. Does Masen require any sort of special diet?”

“No, he can eat whatever we eat. Whether he will or not, is another story. But I’ll take care of him, you just worry about us.”

“I can do that. How does 6 o’clock sound?”

“That’s fine, but there’s one other problem.”

“What is that?” Edward asked.

“Um, I don’t have a car and I don’t like to take the bus after dark with Masen.”

“I’ll pick you both up at 5:30 p.m. then, you’ll just have to help me cook.”

I smiled. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”

As soon as I got off the phone with him I started frantically running around the house wondering what Masen and I were going to wear. I called Alice for suggestions and between the two of us we figured it out. She also suggested I bring desert, which was a good idea.

Masen and I ran to the store and got the necessary ingredients. I spent the majority of the afternoon making sure my homemade apple pie turned out perfectly.

As soon as I got Masen down for his nap, I hit the shower and began the never ending task of my hair. I wanted to wear it down, for Edward. I tried to mimic what Alice had done to it the previous evening, but I wasn’t exactly successful. I clipped some of it back from my face and left the majority of it down and slightly wavy. I decided on a v-neck, fitted, dark crimson imitation cashmere sweater with a nice pair of dark wash skinny jeans. A black belt and black ballet flats finished the look. I wanted to be casual, but still look nice. I dressed Masen in blue jeans and a dark blue sweater and then I gave him a talk.

“Masen, we’re going to visit a friend for dinner tonight, okay?”

Masen eagerly shook his head. “Ms. Alwice?” he asked.

“No, not Ms. Alice. We’re going to see my friend, Edward. You have to be on your best behavior, okay?”

Masen laughed and shook his head in agreement. “Try not to have a stinky in your diaper, that’s not cute,” I joked.

Masen giggled. “tinky!” he exclaimed. Stinky was his newest word and he loved repeating it. I got all of our things together and set them by the door. Between my purse, Masen’s diaper bag, a smaller bag full of things to entertain him and his car seat, Edward would think we were moving in. The site at the front door almost made me want to cry. It was such a production to go anywhere. Surely Edward wouldn’t be expecting all this, but it was necessary with an 18 month old. I was making sure I had everything together when I heard a knock at the door.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. “Hi, Edward. Come on in.”

Edward came inside and stood near the door while I went to grab Masen. He started screaming as soon as I told him we were leaving. “What’s wrong? I told you we were leaving.”

He started pointing behind me. “Unky!”

“You’re monkey. Right. We’ll get your monkey.” I ran back to the bedroom and grabbed his stuffed monkey from his crib. I met Edward back at the front door. “Are you sure your ready for this?” I laughed.

Edward laughed too. “I’m sure.”

“Okay, well, we have to get all of this stuff downstairs,” I said, gesturing to the pile next to the door.

“Oh, wow. I didn’t even think about a car seat!” Edward laughed.

“Yea, it’s a big production to take us anywhere.”

“Nonsense, Bella,” Edward said, grabbing the car seat and the diaper bag. I took Masen and my purse. I couldn’t believe how willing he was to jump in and help with Masen. We made it outside and down the street a little ways to Edward’s car. He opened the passenger side door and scooted the seat up and placed the car seat in the back seat. “I have no idea how to install that thing,” he laughed.

“I’ll do it. Do you mind holding him for a second? If I put him down, he’ll disappear.”

Edward laughed. “I don’t mind at all,” he said as he took Masen from me. I struggled with the car seat for a few minutes. I was used to having a little more room in a four door car, unlike Edward’s two door.

I was a little surprised when I turned around. Masen was asleep in Edward’s arms, his head nuzzled into his neck. Edward was brushing a lock of hair back from Masen’s eye. Our eyes met and Edward smiled at me. My heart melted. Edward stepped around me and placed Masen in the car seat. “I’ll let you buckle him in. I’ll probably screw it up.”

I laughed at him and did as he suggested. It was a quiet ride to his apartment on the other side of town. He lived in a nice area, like Alice. We took the elevator to the 10th floor and entered his apartment. Masen was still asleep and I placed him on a blanket on the floor with some pillows around him from Edward’s couch.

“You have an amazing waterfront view,” I said, looking out the wall of windows in his living room.

“Yea, that’s why I got this place. It’s a little small, but it works, and you can’t beat the view.

I continued to look around his apartment. “I didn’t know you were musically inclined too,” I said, noting his guitar and keyboard in the corner. “Is there anything you can’t do?” I joked.

Edward laughed. “I can’t instal car seats.”

I laughed too and nudged him in the side.

We started working on dinner in the kitchen. He was making baked salmon, baked potatoes and a salad. I was cutting up tomatoes for the salad when we suddenly heard the guitar being played in the living room. I dropped what I was doing and ran in there. Masen was picking at the strings on the guitar. I started to go get him when I felt Edward’s hand grab my wrist, pulling me back.

“It’s okay. Let him,” Edward said, staring at Masen.

“I don’t want him to break anything.”

“He won’t. Has he seen a guitar before?”

“Never.”

Edward laughed. “Amazing.”

“What?”

He looked at me. “Oh, nothing. It’s just that, I was about his age when I first became fascinated with the guitar.” Edward left my side and went over and picked up the guitar. He sat down on the couch and Masen followed him, sitting directly in front of him on the floor. Edward started playing. Masen watched him; his eyes fixated on Edward’s fingers strumming the acoustic guitar.

The site made me a little sad. I’d never be able to afford to give Masen a guitar, or lessons. I went back to the kitchen and continued preparing the salad. A few minutes later Edward joined me in the kitchen, carrying Masen.

“I want one doze mommy,” Masen said, referring to the guitar.

I laughed. “Maybe when you’re older.”

Edward passed Masen off to me to finish dinner. “Here,” he said, handing me a glass of wine. “Go have a seat, relax, I’ll take care of this.”

I smiled and went into the living room and sipped my wine while playing with Masen.

Edward popped his head in the living room about 45 minutes later. “Dinner’s ready.” I picked Masen up and went to the small dining area off of the kitchen.

“Wow, this looks really good,” I said, as I sat down.

“I hope you like it.”

I mashed a baked potato up for Masen and fed him some of my salmon. He liked it as much as I did.

The dinner conversation mainly focused around Masen being silly. It amazed me how enthralled Edward seemed to be with Masen. It was as if he had never been around a child before. Maybe he hadn’t. Edward seemed amazed by everything Masen did, it was cute.

Edward stopped me when I tried to help with the dishes. “I’ll take care of this,” he insisted.

“Okay,” I finally agreed. “Edward, is there somewhere I can put Masen down? I mean, he can stay in the living room with us, but we can’t be noisy.”

Edward laughed. “Noisy? What did you have in mind, Bella?”

I blushed. “I...that’s not what I meant...never mind.”

Edward laughed loudly. “I’m just messing with you. He can sleep on my bed. It’s down the hall on the right.”

“Okay, I have to read him a story first, so I may be a few minutes.”

“Of course, take your time, Bella.”

I smiled and got Masen and headed to Edward’s bedroom. It felt kind of awkward being in there without him. It was perfectly spotless though. I changed Masen’s diaper before I started his story. He was asleep before I finished. I put some pillows around him and joined Edward in the living room.

“He’s out,” I said, sitting next to Edward on the couch.

Edward smiled. “He’s a great kid.”

“Yea, he is. I keep waiting for him to turn into a monster,” I laughed.

Edward laughed too. “Why would he do that?”

At that point, I realized what I had said. That was always my biggest fear, Masen becoming like his father. “Um...I don’t know. Never mind.”

Edward seemed to sense my uneasiness and he didn’t ask anymore questions.

“Are you ready for dessert?” I asked, to break the awkward silence.

“Sure.”

We both headed to the kitchen and I warmed up two slices of the apple pie.

“Apple pie is one of my favorites and I have just the thing to go with it!” he said, as he pulled a container of vanilla bean ice cream from the stainless steel freezer.

“Mmm! That will be good!” We made our plates and went back and sat on the couch.

“So, Edward, tell me something.”

“What?” he asked.

“What do you want with a girl like me?”

He laughed. “What do you mean, a girl like you?”

“Well, I mean, we’re obviously from two different worlds. I’m a single mom, I live in government housing and can barely pay the bills.” I laughed.

His face turned serious. “Bella, none of that matters to me. I don’t know why. I was initially just drawn to you. You’re beautiful, and last night, I learned so much more about you, and I really like what I’ve seen of you so far. You’re not pretentious like other girls. You’re real and your passionate and you’re smart and caring and you give 110 percent at everything you do.”

I stared at him blankly. I couldn’t remember the last time someone took the time to get to know me, instead of classifying me as a whore, or single mother on food stamps. He stared at my lips and he moved closer to me. His hand caressed my cheek. His lips were mere inches from mine and my heart was thundering inside my chest.

“Is it alright if I kiss you?” he whispered against my lips.

I shook my head and instantly felt his lips against mine. Time seemed to stop. I set my plate in my lap and my hands made there way around his neck and into his wild hair. Everything inside me was on fire. I couldn’t help the way my body reacted when I was around him.

He pulled my bottom lip between his, sucking gently and pulling slightly away from me. “And you’re an amazing kisser,” he said, before lightly pressing his lips to mine again.

I smiled against his lips. He tasted incredible. I finally pulled away from him, grinning from ear to ear. “I should get going.”

He shook his head in agreement. We got Masen and gathered my things together before heading to the car. Fortunately, it was parked in the garage. It was pouring rain. I momentarily had a flash back to that night when I looked out on to the street from the covered garage. I didn’t realize I had stopped walking until Edward turned back and looked at me.

“Are you alright?” he asked.

“Oh, yes. I’m sorry. I just don’t like the rain.”

He didn’t say anything. He walked back over to me and put his arm around my waist and led me to his car.

When we arrived at my apartment it was still raining and we had too much to carry to deal with an umbrella, so we got wet. Edward came in and I put Masen to bed. I met him at the door.

“Thank you for dinner; it was wonderful.”

He smiled. “Anytime. Maybe I’ll catch you at the library sometime this week, otherwise, I hope to see you next weekend.”

“Definitely,” I grinned.

He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him, pressing his lips to mine. His hands left mine and his arms wrapped around me. His scent, again intoxicated me, and I wanted nothing more than to take him to bed with me. But I couldn’t. Our lips finally parted.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered against my lips.

I smiled against his lips before kissing him again momentarily and then pulling away. “Goodnight, Edward.”

He laughed and kissed my forehead. “I’ll call you. I hope you have good week.”

“Thank you.”

“Goodnight, Bella.” He walked out the door and as I closed it behind him, I exhaled, feeling like I had been holding my breath all night. I couldn’t help but to do a little happy dance around my living room before calling Alice and telling her everything.

***Author’s Note: Hey! Sorry this update took SOOOO long. This year has not been kind to me and it’s taken me a while to get my brain functioning again. Things should move a long better from here, hopefully! I hope you all liked this chapter! Thanks reading and reviewing!

Follow me on Twitter! @ AllOrNothingKR

**CHAPTER 4 - CLICK HERE**

Never Think - Chapter 12

CHAPTER 12:


My mom arrived the following morning. I did a few voice overs in the studio, but otherwise, I didn’t do any filming. They couldn’t make my puffy face look “Bella” enough.

My mom took me the doctor and they pretty much just confirmed what the doctor in the hospital did. I was almost eight weeks pregnant. I was due just before Christmas. If I counted correctly, that would mean the baby was conceived the weekend I snuck off to L. A. to see Michael, and ended up with Rob. I was with both of them. I had never felt more dirty than the moment I realized I really had no way of knowing who the baby’s father was.

I cried to the point of hyperventilation on the way back to the hotel. Rob had been blowing my phone up all day, but I couldn’t talk to him. My mom was starting to drive me nuts, insisting I tell him.

I laid down on the bed when we returned to my room and just cried.

My mom sat next to me. “Kristen, you have to stop this. Get it together. What do you want to do? I’ll support whatever decision you make.”

“I don’t know. I don’t want to be a mom! I don’t even like kids!”

“Well, you can have an abortion.”

“Yea, just what I need. I can hear the press now!”

My mom sighed when she heard my phone ringing, again. “Will you please talk to him?”

“And say what, Mom? Oh, by the way, I could be pregnant with either your or Michael’s baby.” I laughed half heartedly at the thought, and then I cried. I wanted nothing more than to curl up in Rob’s arms and have him tell me everything would be okay. But I knew it wouldn’t be. Everything was at stake, including my career and my relationship with Rob.

I finally decided I might as well get it over with. I wiped my eyes. “Will you go get him? He’s three doors down on the right.”

My mom shook her head. “I’ll go back to my room, I’ll check on you tonight, okay? Get some rest after he leaves.”

I nodded my head and felt the butterflies fluttering in my stomach as she left the room. I had to really concentrate so as not to run to the bathroom and lose my lunch. I was so scared.

He startled me when he came rushing through the door a few minutes later. “Where the hell have you been? I’ve been worried sick about you. Are you alright? Why is your mom here?”

Hot tears poured down my cheeks as he sat beside me and wrapped his arms around me. As I cried into his chest, I wanted to prolong the inevitable. I wanted to stay right there, safe, loved, forever.

“Please,” he begged. “Tell me.”

I couldn’t even look at him. “I’m pregnant.”

His eyes got huge and the comfort of his arms around me disappeared. “I thought you were on the pill?”

“I was. I am. I found out Michael had been switching my pills out for the past four months, trying to get me pregnant, to stay with him.”

Rob’s face turned pale. “How far along are you?”

“Almost eight weeks.”

I could see him doing the math in his head. “Los Angeles,” he said.

I shook my head as tears nearly drowned me.

“You were with both of us that weekend. You could be carrying that bastard’s fucking child!” He stood and started pacing the floor. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know.”

Rob stormed out of the door, slamming it behind him, before I could say another word.

***

For the next three days I laid on my bed in the hotel room and cried until I was out of tears. My mom told the producers I was really sick and still recovering from the incident with Michael. I hadn’t seen or heard from Rob since he left. It absolutely tore my heart out. The worse part of all was knowing that even if there was a slight chance I was carrying Rob’s baby, I couldn’t have an abortion. I couldn’t. I couldn’t hurt anything that was a part of him. I couldn’t even bring myself to consider the fact that it could be Michael’s. I was so confused. A knock at the door brought me out of my daze. My heart stopped beating when I realized it was our knock.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror on the way to the door. I hadn’t showered in two days and my face was red and swollen. I didn’t care.

I opened the door and stood to the side, inviting him in.

He immediately embraced me. “I’m so sorry.”

I let out a huge sigh of relief and went to sit down on the edge of the bed. I stared at him, thinking it had been too long since I had seen his face.

“Kristen, I’ve spent the past few days really thinking about things. I’ve decided that I’ll support whatever you want to do,” he said quietly. “If it’s a part of you, I’ll learn to love it, even if it isn’t mine. I fought to fucking long to have you, just to let that ass hole come between us.”

I hugged his neck. “Thank you. That’s exactly what I needed. I’m so scared, Rob.”

He rubbed my back. “Me too.”

“Rob, please know...if I knew, for sure, that it was his, I’d have an abortion. I wouldn’t do that to you. But, just knowing that there’s a chance that it’s yours...I can’t.” I cried.

“Can’t you find out?” he asked.

“Yes, later on. But, it’s not without risks.”

“There’s no point I guess.” His expression turned very serious. “Kristen, I’m not going anywhere. We’ll get through this together, I’ll love it if it’s his, but there’s one condition.”

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t tell him.”

That was easy. The thought never crossed my mind. “I’m not. I don’t want him to know. I don’t care if I have to stay inside my house 24 hours a day for nine months. I don’t want anyone to know. Not right now.”

Rob shook his head in agreement. We didn’t want to know what kind of schemes Michael would come up with if he knew there was a possibility I was pregnant with his child.

***

The next several weeks were spent finishing the filming of New Moon and quietly re-organizing almost two years of filming schedules, saying that I needed some time off. The filming of Eclipse would begin almost four months after the baby was born.

It seemed like I never slept anymore. Rob and I stayed up most nights incessantly worrying about things that were out of our control. I got massive backlash from my co-stars when they found out Eclipse had been pushed back for no apparent reason, other than me needing a vacation. I tried not to let it get to me. They would understand eventually. My mom was on a search for a house in L. A. for Rob and I. And the baby.

I had basically decided that I was never going to leave the house once I started showing. Rob and I contemplated marriage a few times, but decided it wasn’t necessary. Not that I didn’t want to marry him; I did. But not under these circumstances.

Once we were back in L.A. Rob initially stayed at my condo with me, we didn’t care so much anymore about being seen together, but we weren’t officially going to announce it.

After changing cars several times, the three of us, my mom, Rob and me, made it unnoticed by the paparazzi into my first ultrasound appointment. It was the first time I didn’t resent the thing growing inside me. It was the first time it really felt real. It looked like a little peanut. I heard its heartbeat, and for a moment, the world stopped spinning. There were two hearts inside me and that fact absolutely boggled my mind.

When the technician turned off the ultrasound machine and began cleaning me up, Rob kissed my hand and whispered into my ear, “I promise I’ll love it, even if it’s his.” I had been on the edge of tears all day and those words pushed me over. I cried, because I knew he was being honest, and I knew I already loved it, no matter whose it was.

***

We only had a few more days together before Rob left for New York to film another movie. He’d be gone for nearly three months and the thought of it made it hard to breathe. He had been my rock the last several weeks. We spent our final days together getting settled in our new home. I insisted I didn’t want anything big or flashy and I wanted it to be homey. I wanted it to be secluded and gated, and safe. My mom found the perfect place, and we loved it. It sat atop a large hill in a small clearing in the woods about thirty minutes outside of L. A. and only twenty minutes from my mom’s house. There was an attached three car garage behind the house and when you walked in the front door, you could see straight out to the back, through the large windows. There was an amazing view of the valley out back. The house had beautiful hard wood floors, a large fireplace, designer kitchen, and a modest three bedroom floor plan, with an office. Our master bedroom was to the left of the hallway leading off the living room, while the office and other two smaller bedrooms were to the right.

There was also a fully finished basement that included a guest suite, bonus room, and theatre room. Rob liked spending time in the theatre room because it was sound proof and he could play his music there without bothering me.

We had been moved in and unpacked for only three days when several boxes started arriving via FedEx, that Rob insisted I wasn’t allowed to open until he said so.

It was our last night together when, before bed, he said, “It’s time.”

“Time for what?” I asked groggily, getting up from the leather chair and heading upstairs from the theatre room.

He followed behind me. “To open the boxes.”

That woke me up a little bit. As I reached the top of the stairs I saw the boxes neatly stacked up by the front door.

“Open the smallest one last,” he said.

As I eagerly got through all the boxes I realized they were full of things to keep me entertained while he was gone, and while I was stuck in this house for the next five and a half months. There were lots and lots of books and movies, and various other things.

“One of those is for me,” he said, as I made my way through the books.

I laughed when I understood what he was talking about. “What to Expect as a First Time Father?” I asked.

He laughed, “I don’t have a clue, I figured I could read it while I’m gone, there’s one for moms too, and some others.”

I was touched by his thoughtfulness. There were nearly a dozen books on what to expect during pregnancy, labor, and the first years.

I laughed. “I’m going to be an encyclopedia by the time you get back.”

Rob smiled. “Good, one of us needs to be prepared.”

I reached over and kissed him softly. “Thank you. I needed this.”

His hand caressed my cheek and I was momentarily saddened by the thought of not feeling his touch again for a long time.

“Don’t forget the small one,” he said.

“Oh, right.” I unburied the smallest box from the large collection of cardboard and paper that had gathered.

I gasped when I opened it. “Rob!”

He smiled. “His or her first pair of Converse.”

They were little baby black and white Converse sneakers. They were so freaking adorable. I think it was the first time I started to get excited about all of this. “Rob, that’s so sweet, I love them!”

He kissed my forehead. “I’m glad.”

He helped me add all my new books to the book shelves in the living room and put the movies in the theatre room before cleaning up the mess we made. All that was left were the baby sneakers, sitting alone in the middle of the floor.

We both looked at the sneakers, then each other, wondering where we should put them. “I guess we need to decide on a room,” he finally said.

“I guess so.” I hadn’t even thought about the baby’s room. This was the first baby item I had. We both walked into the hallway, to the right and looked back and forth between the two empty bedrooms.

Rob looked to the left. “This one’s bigger.”

I looked to the right. “This one has more natural light.”

We both stood there silently for a moment. “I like the smaller one, it’s cozy.” I said, as I walked into the empty room. I opened the closet and set the tiny pair of sneakers on the empty shelf. I stepped back and observed the nearly empty closet. “That’s sad.” I said. “I should probably start getting it some things.”

Rob laughed as he took my hand and led me in the opposite direction down the hallway, to our bedroom, where we would spend our last night together for a while.

We made love for hours, savoring everything about each other. As he had done for the past several weeks, he fell asleep with me pulled against his chest, and his hand resting gently on the little bump that was forming on my stomach. I knew it would be impossible to get out of bed without waking him, so I formulated my excuse before I moved.

I wiggled out from his embrace and as I swung my legs over the edge of the large bed, I felt his hand on my back.

“Where are you going?”

I turned to face him. “I can’t sleep. I’m just going to read for a little while. I’ll be back.” I kissed his cheek and left the room.

His daddy book was sitting on top of his suitcase by the door. I picked it up and made quick work of creating a new cover for it out of one of my old ones. I cut it down to size and glued it to the daddy book. I didn’t want Rob to get caught with an expecting fathers book while filming his next movie. Now, people would think he was reading Shakespeare. Perfect, I thought, admiring my handy work and placing it back where I found it.

I crawled back into bed, into my spot against his chest, and placed his hand back on my stomach and for the first time, I thought everything might turn out okay.

The shrill sound of the alarm going off woke me from my nightmare. Lately I had been having horrible dreams about Michael and the baby - him taking the baby to be exact.

Rob reached over me and smacked the alarm on the nightstand because I still hadn’t moved. He noticed my wide eyes when he moved over me.

“Another bad dream?” he asked.

I exhaled sharply and shook my head. I never told him exactly what the dreams were about.

He kissed my forehead. “Go back to sleep, it’s early. I’ll wake you before I go.”

I looked at the alarm clock. It was only 5:00 a.m. I had only slept a few hours. I did as he said and closed my eyes.

It seemed like only moments later when I felt his hands running up and down my bare arm. I opened my eyes to see him hovering over me.

“It’s time,” he said.

I closed my eyes. “Nooo,” I whined.

“You don’t have to get up, I just wanted to say goodbye.”

I opened my eyes. “I’m not whining because I don’t want to get up, stupid!” I’m whining because I don’t want you to leave!”

He crooked smiled. “Oh.”

I sighed. “I’m going to miss that.”

He took my hand and pulled me out of our oversized bed. His arms wrapped around me and I clung to him.

“I’ll miss every absolute beautiful thing about you,” he said as his lips captured mine.

The car honking outside interrupted us.

“My car is here. I have to go.”

I shook my head as I felt his arms disappear from around me and the chill that followed in his absence.

As I followed behind him to the front door, I took a deep breath to hold back the tears that were pooling in my eyes. I had a hard time controlling my emotions lately.

“What is this?” he asked as he picked up his book. “Shakespeare? What happened to my book?”

I laughed. “It is your book. I made a new cover for it, so you could read it on the plane if you wanted.”

He smiled as he flipped through the pages quickly, seeing that it was the same book. “How thoughtful, thank you. I’ll start reading it today!”

I reached up and placed a kiss on his lips. “Be good. I’ll miss you.”

He hugged me quickly. “I’ll miss you too.” He placed his hand on the small bump at my stomach. “Take care of yourself.”

I shook my head and he picked up his bag and went through the door. I stood at the kitchen window, watching his car leave until it disappeared from sight.

As much as I knew I would miss him, I was a little relieved when he was gone. I needed some room to breathe. Moving into our house and getting settled together and having baby books and little baby shoes was making this all entirely too real.


***Author's Note: Sorry this update took forever. I've had a bit of an insane week and weekend. I hope you all liked this chapter. Tell me what you'd like to see happen! (Not that I'll do it...but ya know, you never know!) :) Thanks for reading girls, I appreciate it!

Follow me on Twitter: @AllOrNothingKR

**CHAPTER 13 - CLICK HERE**

Repentance - Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2:

“Mama!” Masen ran to me and I picked him up.

“Tell me everything!” Alice squealed.

I walked past her and set my things down next to the coffee table. “Has he eaten?” I asked, trying to avoid her question.

“He has eaten, been bathed, and I read him a bedtime story. Stop stalling!”

I laughed. “Let me put him to bed first, okay?”

Alice shook her head and sat down on the couch and waited patiently.

I took Masen and placed him in his crib, which was next to my bed. His eye lids were already heavy. They always were when Alice kept him. She was exhausting, even to a child. I covered him up and gave him his favorite stuffed monkey.

“Goodnight sweet boy.” I kissed his forehead and waited for him to fall asleep. It never took long. He was a good baby, always had been.

I went back into the living room to see Alice with eager eyes. “We have to make this quick; I have a paper to write,” I said.

Alice ignored my statement. “So, where did you meet him? He’s really handsome, Bella!”

“I ran into him at the library. He’s the strange guy that helped me home a few weeks ago.”

“That’s him?? There is nothing strange about that man, Bella! He’s gorgeous and nicely dressed!”

I laughed. “He’s in law school. I don’t get it. What on earth would he want to do with me?? He knows I have Masen, he knows I live in this dump. I don’t get why he is at all interested in me.”

“Who cares, Bella! At least it’s a free meal, right? You can always use those!”

I shook my head. “I guess. He’ll probably never call anyway.”

“If he does, you’re going and I’m dressing you!”

I started to protest and then I remembered all the wonderful things Alice had done for me, like watching Masen all the time and expecting nothing in return. It was the least I could do. “Okay, I’ll let you. It will be a one time thing though!”

Alice squealed. “Wonderful! I can’t wait! You better call me the second you hear from him!”

I laughed. “Okay, Alice. I promise, but don’t get your hopes up. I’m not,” I joked as I walked her to the door. “Thanks again for watching Masen.”

“It was my pleasure!” She gave me a hug and left.

I tried to put Edward out of my mind and focus on my paper, but I couldn’t get his wicked smile to disappear from the back of my eye lids. I was secretly hoping he would call.

***

The last day of mid-terms finally arrived and I was beyond relieved. It had been a really rough week. Masen had been sick, I missed a few days at work and trying to keep my grades up was becoming very challenging.

I put Masen to bed and sat on the couch with a cup of hot tea. After taking a sip of my tea, I rested my head on the back of the couch and closed my eyes and enjoyed the absolute silence around me. Silence was rare these days.

I don’t know how long I had been asleep. My phone ringing woke me. I didn’t recognize the number on the caller id and my heart pounded in my chest momentarily.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Bella. It’s Edward, from the library.”

I smiled. “Oh, hi. How are you?”

“I’m doing well, glad mid-terms are over! Did you survive yours?”

“Just barely! It has been a long week to say the least.”

“I can imagine. I don’t know how you do it!”

I sighed. “Me either.”

“Well, perhaps to celebrate the end of mid-terms, you’ll let me take you to dinner this weekend.”

“Sure, that would be nice.”

“Great, when is a good time for you?”

“Um...” I hesitated. “You know, I’ll have to get back to you. I will have to check with Alice, to see if she can keep Masen.”

“Okay, well, you have my number now.”

“Okay, I’ll give her a call tonight and get back to you, okay?”

“That sounds good, Bella. I look forward to hearing from you.”

“Goodnight.” I hung up and leaned back into the couch, wondering again why he wanted anything to do with my crazy life.

After making arrangements with Alice and Edward, our date was set for the following evening. I was a nervous wreck by the time Alice arrived late Saturday afternoon. I was sort of glad she was helping me get ready. It felt nice to be pampered for a change and let someone else do my hair. I couldn’t remember the last time I left the house with my hair down. I always only had time to sweep it up into a pony tail. It was just easier that way and it kept Masen from getting strange substances stuck in my hair.

Alice and I went back and forth several times trying to decide on my wardrobe and we finally settled on two different outfits. We let Masen choose.

The first option was a pair of gray dress slacks with a black turtle neck sweater and black boots. That was my choice. Alice preferred a cream colored sweater dress with a black belt at the waist and black pumps.

We laid the outfits out on the bed and told Masen to pick which one he liked best.

“I like dis one!” he said, as he reached forward for the cream colored dress.

Alice was quicker than Masen and she grabbed his eager hands before he could touch the dress. “Don’t you touch that dress with those dirty hands!” she warned.

Masen laughed at her and so did I. I guess I was wearing the dress.

Once I was fully dressed and my hair and make-up were done, I must say, I was pretty impressed with myself. I was actually looking forward to my date with Edward now. I couldn’t remember the last time I had an adult conversation that lasted longer than a few minutes.

Alice made her final observations of me, circling me to make sure everything was perfect. I stopped her when she came back in front of me. I grabbed her hand. “Alice, thank you. Really. It’s been a long time since I felt pretty.”

Alice’s smile reached from ear to ear. She embraced me quickly. “You’re welcome. I’m so glad I could help. You deserve a night out. Promise me you won’t worry about Masen, or school or anything! Just have a good time and stay out as long as you want!”

I laughed. “I’m sure he’ll be sick of me by the end of dinner!”

“Nonsense, Bella!”

A knock at the door interrupted us. I took a deep breath and went to answer it.

“Hi,” I said. He looked so gorgeous. His smile absolutely made my knees shake. He was wearing a pair of black dress slacks with a gray sweater. The thought of sex vaguely entered my mind before I instantly recalled my last encounter with the subject. I forced the images from my mind. Nobody had ever made me desire sex, since I was raped.

“Hi,” he smiled. “Are you ready to go?”

“Uh, yea. Let me tell Masen goodbye and grab my purse. You can come in.”

Edward stepped into my small apartment and stood by the door while I did what I needed to do. I took Masen from Alice while she officially introduced herself to Edward.

“I’m Alice. I don’t think we actually met last time.”

Edward shook her hand. “I’m Edward. It’s nice to meet you, Alice. Thank you for allowing Bella to go to dinner with me this evening.”

“It’s my pleasure, Edward! The girl never gets to have fun!”

“Alice!” I reprimanded. I didn’t want him to think I was a total loser. She heeded my warning and came to take Masen from me.

“Hand him over before your dress is covered in slobber and who knows what else,” Alice said.

I hugged Masen before handing him over. “Be good for Ms. Alice,” I said, kissing him on the forehead. “I love you.”

“Love Mama!” he said, waving goodbye to me.

I turned to see Edward’s eyes fixed on the scene playing out in front of him. “I’m ready now,” I finally said.

“Oh, of course. I’m sorry; I zoned out,” he responded.

I laughed to myself momentarily. It was as if he had never seen a child before.

We made our way outside. “I’m parked just down here,” he said, directing me to the left. It was easy to spot his car. There weren’t cars like his that often made it to this side of town. He opened the passenger door of the shiny volvo for me.

I slid in gracefully. “Thank you.”

He smiled and made his way around the car. We talked mostly about school on the way to the restaurant. He was a first year law student and was doing pretty well, much to his surprise.

We arrived to a little Italian restaurant I had never seen before. Actually, I couldn’t remember the last time I ate out. It was probably in Forks. Edward parked the car and as I reached up to open my door he said, “Let me get that for you.” He got out of the car quickly and opened my door for me, holding out a hand to help me out.

We went inside the restaurant and I was surprised to see that he actually made reservations for us. The small restaurant was packed full of people. The host led us to a small table in the back of the restaurant. It was a very intimate setting. There were warm colors, lots of greenery and beautiful portraits of Italian villages.

“This place is really nice,” I said.

“I’m glad you like it. The food is amazing. It’s one of my favorite restaurants in Seattle. Would you like a glass of wine? The house riesling is really good, if you like white wine.”

Wine? I’ve never drank wine. I don’t drink. Maybe this could be an exception. “Sure, that sounds good.”

Edward ordered our drinks for us and we discussed various things on the menu before both placing our orders with the waiter. I ordered the tortellini and he ordered the veal parmesan.

“I meant to tell you earlier, you look really beautiful tonight. I’ve never seen you with your hair down,” he said.

I felt the blood rushing to my cheeks. “Thank you.” I concentrated on taking a sip of my wine to avoid his gaze.

“So, are you originally from Seattle?” I asked.

“I grew up in Portland. I’ve been out here since I was 18 though. My parents still live in Portland. My father is a doctor there.”

“Oh, wow. A doctor and a lawyer in the same family. You guys are all set.” I laughed. “What does your mother do?”

“She was a stay at home mom. I honestly have no idea what she does all day now. She is involved with several different charities and youth organizations.”

“That’s nice. Do you have siblings?”

“Yes, an older sister. Her name is Rosalie. We’re pretty different though. She works at an advertising agency in Portland.”

“Are you close with your family?” I asked.

“Um, I was. Not so much lately. You see, my dad wanted me to be a doctor like him. I had planned on it, and um, I just changed my mind during undergrad. He wasn’t happy. He’ll get over it one day. He just thinks I’m making a big mistake. He just doesn’t understand.”

“Oh, sorry for all the questions,” I said, feeling like I was intruding.

“No, its alright. So, what’s your family like?”

“Well, my parents divorced when I was little. I pretty much grew up with my mom in Phoenix until I was 16. I went to live with my dad in Forks, Washington when my mom went on the road with her boyfriend. He’s the Police Chief there. I didn’t really like Forks, but I like Seattle.”

“Police Chief, huh?” He laughed. “I guess I better make sure to treat his daughter right.”

I laughed. “Yea, he’s pretty protective. But, I think you’re doing a pretty good job so far.”

He smiled that crooked smile and I felt a million butterflies flutter up in my stomach.

“So, do you work, or just go to school and take girls out on fancy dates?” I joked.

He laughed. “Well, I work part time at the law library on campus. Everyone knows me there, so I find it hard to get any studying done. I always go to the public library up from your place to study. And, to be honest, you’re the first girl I’ve taken out on a date in almost two years.”

“Oh,” I said, not knowing what to say.

Our food arrived just then and while we ate we talked about our likes and dislikes in music and books. He loved to read as much as I did and we had some great conversation regarding some of our previous reads.

“How is it?” I asked, referring to his veal.

“It’s really good. You should try it. Would you like a bite?”

“I’ve never had veal,” I responded.

“It’s sort of like chicken, but better,” he laughed.

“Okay, I’ll try it.”

He cut a small portion of the veal parmesan and held his fork up to my mouth. I was a bit surprised at first that he was feeding me, but I quickly parted my lips.

“Mmm,” I said, as my lips left the fork. “That is really good.”

He smiled. “I told you so.”

Dinner continued with ease. I increasingly became more and more comfortable around him. I was extremely grateful he never asked about Masen, although I wondered what he thought. We shared many of the same interests, the largest differences being our families’ financial backgrounds. It amazed me how down to earth he was.

We took a long walk along the waterfront before heading back to the car. It got chilly after the sun went down, but it wasn’t too bad. It was a clear night and I was surprised at how familiar Edward was with astrology.

After we got back to my place, he walked me up to my apartment.

“I had a really wonderful time, Bella. I hope we can do this again soon.”

I smiled. “I had a good time too. It’s been a really long time since I’ve gotten to do anything like that.”

He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

I was frozen from his touch. I got a whiff of his cologne when he leaned in to kiss me and it absolutely intoxicated me. I finally made the word, “okay,” come out of my mouth before disappearing inside.


****Author's Note: Thanks for the reviews/comments! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! More to come soon!

Follow me on Twitter for the scoop on updates! @AllOrNothingKR

**CHAPTER 3 - CLICK HERE**

Never Think - Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11:

I completely let my body go limp, rolled my eyes back and closed them, losing my balance and falling. I was prepared to deal with whatever injuries may follow to make it look real.

Ouch! Mother fucker! I don't know what all I hit on the way down, but I definitely hit my head. Hard. It took everything in me to not move a muscle on my face. I heard everyone's chairs scoot back and people yelling. Nikki and Mike were hovering over me. I wondered where Rob was. Everyone was talking and overreacting.

"Someone call an ambulance." I heard Nikki say.

Okay, that's it. I'm not going to the fucking hospital. I slowly opened my eyes, pretending to be disoriented. Mike helped me sit up. I reached to the back of my head, where I had hit it. It really did hurt.

"Baby, are you okay?" Mike asked.

I looked around for Rob. He was leaning across the table, looking down at me, along with everyone else. He looked relieved when I looked at him.

"I just...I just want to lay down. Take me back to the hotel please." I closed my eyes and let myself fall into his arms, leaning against his chest. I pretended to act weak. I felt Mike helping me stand. I heard someone else say something about an ambulance.

"No, no. I'm okay. What happened? I just want to lay down for a minute." I said, closing my eyes again. People were all around me, too close. I wanted to scream. I looked at Mike. "Please get me out of here."

He picked me up and carried me towards the front of the restaurant. I had my arms wrapped firmly around his neck and I looked over his shoulder. The entire cast was standing, watching us. I looked through them all at Rob. The expression on his face unreadable.

Mike put me down and helped me into the waiting limo. I guess it would have to come back for everyone else. I immediately laid my head down on Mike's lap, pretending to sleep.

"Kris, are you sure you're okay? You really need to see a doctor, you hit your head on the back of the chair really hard,” he said as pulled my hair back from my face.

"No, no. I'm okay. My head just hurts really bad. I just want to close my eyes for a few minutes."

"Baby, you may have a concussion."

"Just a few minutes. Please." I closed my eyes. I just wanted to make it back to the hotel before this whole ordeal blew the fuck up.



Mike opened the door to my room and led me to the bed. I was acting more alert now. I sat down on the edge of the bed. I looked up at him and reached my hand back behind my head, feeling the knot that was forming. "What happened??" I asked.

He sat down next to me. "Well, I sort of asked you to marry me, and you fainted and hit your head."

I laughed. "Are you serious??"

"Yes, I'm serious. Kristen, I want to be with you forever. I hate being away from you." He pulled the box out of his pocket again. He opened it.

Wow. That is gorgeous. My heart ached. It really did.

"Mike, I...I don't even know what to say. It's so beautiful."

He took the ring out of the box and reached for my hand.

I pulled my hand back, away from him. "Mike, I can't get married. I'm too young, I'm not ready to be married."

I'll never forget the look on his face after I said that. It was like someone had popped a balloon and let all the air out.

"Kris, we can have a long engagement, it doesn't have to be right now,” he begged.

"Michael, I...I don't know. I'm not ready for this."

"You're not ready for this?? We've been together nearly four years. What are you not sure about??" He stood up then. He was getting angry. Michael always had a bit of a temper, just not usually with me.

"I'm just too young to be married. I just turned 19, Michael! I'm not even old enough to drink. Marriage is a big thing. I'm just not ready for it."

He headed towards the door. "Well then maybe we should take a break from each other for a while. There's obviously someone else your interested in."

I stood up and walked over towards him. "Michael, I'm truly sorry. I want to stay friends with you, we've been through too much together, I...I just...I just don't think I'm in love with you anymore." I said honestly. There was no point in leading him on.

I could tell he was angry. I could practically feel heat coming off his body. He was fucking pissed.

"There is someone else," he said through gritted teeth.

I started to shake my head no, and realized there was no point. Tears stung my eyes. "I'm sorry, Michael. I'm so sorry, but it’s not like you’ve been perfect. I know you were tipping off the paparazzi to me while I was in L.A.”

"I don’t know what you’re talking about. It's Rob isn't it??" He screamed at me. I was seriously getting nervous for my safety. I've never seen him so mad.

I didn't say anything. I just stood there, shaking.

"You fucking bitch. You're fucking him aren't you!!" He screamed at me and lunged towards me, pushing me hard. I fell back into the entry table.

He was still coming at me and I held my arms up over my face in self defense. I tried to squirm backwards but there was nowhere to go.

"Tell me Kristen!" He yelled even louder. "You're fucking him aren't you?? Aren't you!!"

"Yes!!" I finally screamed out, hoping he would leave me alone. Tears streamed down my face.

He kicked me in my side. "Ahh! Ouch!! Stop it Michael! Stop!" I cried out to him.

He took a step back. "How long? How long have you been fucking him?" he asked.

"Only a few months. It just happened, I'm sorry Michael. I'm so sorry."

He shook his head. "I can't fucking believe you." He turned and kicked the door. Thank God it wasn't me. "I fucking trusted you Kristen! Every explanation you gave about the pictures, the rumors, I fucking believed you!!"

I cried harder now. This entire thing was horrible of me. I went about it all wrong and he was so mad. He's never so much as laid a finger on me. I'd never seen him like this before.

Owww! He kicked me again, but not as hard as the first time. "You're fucking worthless." He walked out the door, slamming it behind him and I absolutely fell apart.

I was crying hysterically. I was in so much pain, my back was throbbing. I reached for my phone to call Rob. I needed him. Now.

"Kristen? Are you alright?" He asked, in a low voice. I could tell he was still at the restaurant.

I couldn't even make my words come out clearly I was crying so hard. "Rob, please, come get me. Please." I cried.

"Are you okay? What happened? Where are you?" I could hear the panic in his voice, he's never heard me like this before.

"I'm in my room, I'm not okay. I need you. Please hurry before he comes back," I cried. He would come back for his things, at some point.

"I'm on my way," he said before hanging up.



I heard our knock on the door a few minutes later and I struggled to pull myself off the floor to let him in. I was surprised to see Kellan with him.

“What happened?” Rob asked, as he knelt down next to me on the floor.

“He got really mad, pushed me, kicked me, my back and side hurt really bad, I can’t breathe.”

“You need to go to the hospital.”

I just laid there and cried. I didn’t care anymore.

"He'll be back." I whispered to Rob. I pointed to the entry table, where his wallet laid. Not to mention his bags were still here.

"Does he have a key to the room?" Rob asked.

I shook my head yes.

"I'm going to fucking kill him. I'm calling the police," He started to stand up.

"No, no no. You're not doing any of that." I reached for his arm, and grimaced in pain. He leaned back down next to me when he saw I was in pain. "It's over now. It's over. I don't want to drag it out. It wasn't as bad as it looks. I deserved this."

Rob looked disgusted. "No you didn't. You did not deserve this Kristen. We’re calling the police." Rob looked at Kellan as if telling him to do it. “And we’re getting you to the hospital.”

I couldn’t argue anymore. I was in so much pain I didn’t care.

***

A phone ringing woke me up. I looked around. I was in the hospital. There was an IV in my left hand. I tried to sit up but I was extremely sore.

"Hey," Rob said, touching my arm and making little circles on it with his thumb. "How are you feeling?"

I was a little disoriented. "I'm sore, but I'm okay I think. My head hurts. What did they do to me? I don't remember anything after we left the hotel."

"They gave you something for pain, that's why you're so tired. You just have a cracked rib and a big knot on your head. You can go home in a few hours.”

Tears started pooling in my eyes as I thought about what happened. What a nightmare this day had been.

I started to say something when I heard my phone beeping, signaling a new text message. I looked around the room. "Where's my phone?"

Rob reached down and grabbed a plastic bag that had all my belongings in it. He dug through it until he found my phone. He handed it to me.

Kris are you okay? I just went back to the room to get my things, I'm so sorry. - Mike

I laughed in anger and threw the phone down at my side, on the bed.

"What is it?" Rob asked.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

Rob picked up my phone and looked for himself. "He's a fucking ass hole."

Rob turned my phone on silent then and put it back in the bag.

A little while later the attending doctor came in. “Mr. Pattinson, I need to speak to her alone for a few minutes if you don’t mind.”

“Sure.” Rob gave my hand a squeeze and he left the room.

“How are you feeling, Ms. Stewart?”

“I’m okay, I guess. My head hurts, my side hurts.”

The doctor went on to tell me about my cracked rib and I tried to tune him out. I was so tired.

“Kristen? Kristen?”

“What? Sorry, I zoned out.”

“I said, did you know you were pregnant?”

This time I really fainted. I think I was only out a few minutes though. I woke up to the doctor standing over me and a nurse taking my blood pressure.

“When was your last period?” The doctor asked.

I was so confused. Did he just say I was pregnant? My last period? “A few weeks ago, but it was light, I just spotted really.”

“When was your last normal cycle?” He clarified.

“Two months ago I guess.”

He took some notes on his clipboard. “Well, I suspect you’re somewhere between 6 and 8 weeks pregnant. You’ll need to get in to see your gynecologist as soon as you can. You’re free to go, here’s a prescription for pain if you need it, but use it sparingly, the rib will heal on it’s own, just take it easy for a while.”

The nurse smiled at me and turned to leave the room with the doctor.

Rob came back in as soon as the nurse and doctor left.

“Are you okay? You look really pale. What did he say?” Rob asked.

I couldn’t speak. I just stared at the wall.

“Kristen? Kristen? If you don’t talk to me I’m going to get the doctor.”

“No! No, I’m okay. Please, take me back to the hotel. I can go.”

Rob badgered me the entire way back to the hotel and I sat silently next to him in the car, unable to process what I had just learned.

He closed the door to my hotel room behind us. “Please talk me,” he begged.

“Rob, I need to be alone,” I said, as I sat on the edge of the bed.

The look on his face caused a pain deep inside me. I was hurting him.

“Kristen, I don’t understand,” he said, bewildered.

Tears stung my eyes and I went to him. I finally had him. Rob was all mine, and here I was pushing him away, scared to face reality. My hands cradled his face, his arms wrapped gently around my waist. “Rob, trust me. Please. I need some time. It’s not you. This has nothing to do with how I feel about you.” I felt a tear escape, fearing if he knew what I knew, he’d want nothing to do with me. I looked up into his eyes, noticing the shiny pools of water collecting there. My heart ached and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close to me. “I love you, Rob.”

He pulled back and looked at me, as if he weren’t expecting me to say that.

“I mean it. I’m not just saying that to get you out of here. I just need to some time to think.”

“I love you.” He kissed my forehead. “Please don’t leave me in the dark. I don’t know what’s going on, but it scares the shit out of me.” He turned to head toward the door. “I’ll check on you tomorrow,” he said.

I shook my head as more tears lost the battle and spilled over onto my cheeks. As soon as the door was closed I ran into the bathroom to get my make-up bag. I pulled out the purple case and opened it, closely inspecting the birth control package. It had been tampered with. These weren’t my birth control pills. My first thought was Michael. No wonder he was so mad. Had he been trying to get me pregnant??

I found my phone and called him.

“Kristen, I’m so sorry,” he answered.

“Michael, shut up. I don’t want to hear it. I want you to tell me everything. Right now. You either spill it, or I’m calling the police.”

“What are you talking about?” he asked.

“Ugh! Don’t play stupid, Michael! I’m talking about you tipping off the paparazzi and the guy in my parent’s house and why my birth control pills are messed up!”

He sighed. “Kristen.” He sounded like he was crying. “I had to know,” he said quietly. “I wanted to believe you, but you were acting so different. I’m sorry for everything I did.”

“Why was that guy in my parents’ house?”

“I had him follow you. He wasn’t sure if Rob was there or not, that’s why he went in. I told him to, I told him how.”

“I can’t believe you Michael! What the fuck is wrong with you! I thought he was going to kill me!”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to loose you,” he cried.

“How long have you been fucking with my birth control pills?”

“Four months, to no avail,” he admitted.

Oh. My. God. The sudden urge to vomit took over my body. “I hate you, Michael. Are you fucking happy now? You drove me away!”

“Kristen, wait!”

I hung up and ran to the bathroom. I threw up in the toilet once and laid on the floor crying. I had no idea who’s child I was pregnant with. I wanted to kill Michael. This was my life and an innocent child’s life he was fucking with, just to keep me. The thought of carrying his child was nearly repulsive. At one point, he was my best friend in the entire world, but now, the last thing I wanted was to be attached to him for the next 18 years.

I spent hours on the bathroom floor before finally calling my mom and pouring my heart out and begging her to come to Vancouver.


***Author’s Note: Well?? What do you think?!?! I hope you liked it! Thanks to everyone who commented/reviewed the last chapter. I’ve got to get a lot of work done on this story, but with any luck I’ll have another chapter out before the new year! I hope you all enjoyed it and I hope you all have a fabulous holiday! Merry Christmas!

Follow me on Twitter: @AllOrNothingKR

And read my newest story - Repentance! (Chapter 2 coming tonight or tomorrow!)

**CHAPTER 12 - CLICK HERE**