CHAPTER 13
Phoenix, Arizona - 2004/2005
My dad was home the following morning and Renee made breakfast. It was disgusting. It was nice to see Charlie, though. I missed him. He wasn’t very pleased about what happened between Jake and I. While Renee was cleaning up the kitchen, Charlie and I sat outside enjoying our coffee, the one thing Renee couldn’t screw up.
“I gotta say, I’m really disappointed, Bells.”
“I know, Dad. I know that everyone wants what is best for themselves and not for me.”
Charlie scoffed. “That’s not true, Bella. We just always saw you and Jacob together. I mean, you broke his heart. It’s hard for me to face Billy knowing that my daughter ruined his son.”
“I didn’t ruin him. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry Dad, but I’m not going to stay in a relationship I am not happy in. I refuse to be like you and mom.”
“What do you mean? I’m perfectly happy with your mother.”
He was so blind. “You know she isn’t perfect.”
“Nobody is perfect, Bella.”
Edward is perfect, I thought. I missed him. I missed feeling normal. I didn’t want to be here. I couldn’t stay here for two weeks. I couldn’t.
“Nobody may be perfect, Dad, but it doesn’t mean you have settle. I was content with Jacob. He was all I knew. I needed to find myself and learn about who I was as an individual without him. In that process, I just so happened to fall in love with an amazing guy.”
Charlie sighed, he didn’t want to hear it.
“Dad, I wish you would just give Edward a chance. He takes such good care of me. He treats me like a princess. I’ve never felt so cherished and loved in my entire life. He’s such an amazing person.”
Charlie took a deep breath and blew it out. “What about when your program is over and you come home?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t gotten that far. We both know we want to be together, so we’ll figure it out.”
“I don’t like it, Bells. I’m happy for you, if he makes you happy. But, I don’t care how nice he is, nobody is taking my baby girl away from me. You are not moving to London permanently.”
“Well see,” I said. “Who knows.”
I stood up went back inside to my room. I decided I’d meet up with some of my college friends for lunch and later that night at dinner, with my parents, I’d tell them I wasn’t staying for Christmas.
~
Later that evening I was helping Renee cook dinner. Actually, I was cooking dinner and she was watching. I was making mexican. Renee kept refilling Charlie and I’s mugs of beer. At least everyone was relaxed and in a good mood, thanks to Mr. Corona.
I served dinner and the three of us sat at the kitchen table and enjoyed it. I couldn’t remember the last time we all sat at the table together. If my mom wasn’t such a fake, it would’ve almost been enjoyable.
“So, I know you guys were expecting me to be here for Christmas, but I’d really like to spend Christmas in London, so I’m actually going to be leaving on Friday.” Today was Tuesday. I hoped I could get a flight on Friday, I hadn’t even talk to Edward about it. I wanted to surprise him.
My mom dropped her fork and got up and went to the kitchen. She brought all three of us another Corona.
“Bella, don’t leave. We want to spend Christmas with you,” Charlie said.
Renee started in on me too, “Yes, Bella. You need to be with your family on Christmas. You are just totally caught up in this Edward guy and it’s completely unhealthy.”
I felt my cheeks flame. I was feeling light headed. “Unhealthy? Like your relationship with multiple men behind Dad’s back is unhealthy, is that what you mean?”
When Charlie started to defend her, I started sweating. I tried to speak, but nothing was coming out of my mouth. The room was spinning and so very warm. I tried to stand up, and then everything went black. I remember the sound of my head hitting the tile floor and then, nothing. Nothing. Darkness. Silence.
~
“Bella! Bella! What did you do?!”
Darkness. My head hurts. My head hurts so bad. It’s so hot. I’m so tired. What is that smell? Why is Renee screaming at me. Why do I feel wet. Renee is so loud and erratic. I tried to open my eyes. My head is so heavy. Darkness. Silence.
~
Screaming. Renee is still screaming. Light. My eyes opened. The room is still spinning. Renee was shaking me.
“Bella! What did you do? What happened?”
What was she talking about? Was she crying?
I slowly sat up and attempted to take in my surroundings. I tried to prop myself up on my elbows but my hand slipped in something wet. Why is the floor wet? The room stilled and I looked around. I immediately felt the bile rise in my stomach. Charlie. Charlie was bleeding. He was next to me and bleeding, everywhere. I was laying in a pool of blood. There was something cold in my other hand. A knife. A large knife. Why did I have a knife? Why is Renee looking at me like that? What did I do? The rusty smell of blood hit me and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I vomited on myself. Renee backed away from me. I heard sirens. They were so loud. Charlie wasn’t moving.
“Dad? Dad, wake up. Are you okay?”
He didn’t respond. I started crying.
“How could you do this, Bella? What did he do that was so bad?”
My head was pounding. Did I do this? I couldn’t have. Why can’t I remember anything?
Police officers moved in, men that I recognized as Charlie’s co-workers. They told me not to move and to drop the knife I didn’t know I was still holding. Paramedics checked Charlie briefly and then walked away. They weren’t trying to save him. Officers began to pick me up. They cuffed me and started walking me out of the house. I looked back at Renee. She was crying and shaking her head. What had I done? Why couldn’t I remember?
~
I was booked into the Women’s Penitentiary. After they took a million photos of me, I was stripped of my clothes in front of two female officers and forced to shower while they watched. I was then searched from head to toe, literally. They gave me a dark blue pair of pants and t-shirt to wear. The clothes were scratchy and stiff. They took me into a small room with a desk and two chairs. The room was all white with a large glass window that looked like a mirror. They were going to interrogate me.
A detective came in some time later. He started asking me questions. I didn’t know the answers. All I could remember is having dinner and then waking up with a knife in my hand, and Charlie was dead. The detective kept asking me about the argument my dad and I had, but I couldn’t remember it. Eventually, I came to my senses and refused to answer anymore questions until I had an attorney present.
When I got to my cell, I was fortunately alone. That was the first time since the whole ordeal began that I thought of Edward. At the first thought of him, I lost it. I cried until I made myself sick. What had I done? What was going to happen to me? What about my school? What about Edward and London? I kept thinking this was all a terrible nightmare, and I would wake up soon, but I never did. It was the first of many nights I would cried myself to sleep.
~
If I was awake, I was crying. I cannot explain the absolute fear and guilt than consumed me in the days following Charlie’s murder. I felt desperate and out of control. Panic constantly consumed me. I had to be sedated on multiple occasions. I was driving myself crazy, trying to figure out what had happened and what I had done.
After one particularly dramatic melt down in my cell, I was transferred to a state hospital. Things were blurry at best after that. Although my mom was horribly upset with me, she said she got me the best defense attorney money could buy, at the time, I was grateful.
London, England - 2004/2005
Edward’s Story
The following day, I never heard from Bella. I didn’t think much of it at first due to the time difference. I sent her a text message to let her know I was thinking of her and I went about my day.
After another day passed and I still hadn’t heard from her, I started to worry. I tried to call her, but I got her voicemail. I left her a message.
Hey, beautiful, it’s me. I haven’t heard from you in a few days. I’m starting to worry about you. Call me when you get this, I don’t care what time it is. I love you.
She never returned my calls. She never responded to my text messages. On the tenth day with no word from Bella, I was awoken in the middle of the night by a text message.
I’m not coming back. I’m sorry. Things changed. Jake and I are back together. I never meant to hurt you. - Bella
I kept rubbing my tired eyes. I couldn’t be reading her message correctly. When I was sure I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and in fact read the message correctly, my heart started racing. My room was warm. I could feel my heartbeat in my head. She wasn’t serious. She couldn’t be. I called her immediately. She didn’t answer. Bella wasn’t this much of a coward. She wouldn’t do this.
Answer your phone. Talk to me. What about school and your flat? How will you get all your belongings?
I sat up in bed and waited for her response, but it never came. I never went back to sleep. At 3:00 a.m. I crawled out of bed and walked the block to her flat. It was cold and windy. It seemed like I was the only person out. The world felt huge around me. I was alone.
Her flat was chilly. I crawled into her bed and savored the smell of her on the sheets. I tried not to cry. I didn’t cry, especially over a girl. But Bella wasn’t just any girl. I eventually fell asleep with the dreadful thoughts that I may never see her smile again, or hear her laughter. The reality of that, was too much to bear.
~
New Year’s Eve. Alone. She never returned any of my calls. She never responded to my text messages. She had never returned for her things. I was devastated and heart broken. She was the only girl I ever loved.
I went through some of her things at her flat, trying to find a phone number for her mother or father. Her cell phone had recently been disconnected. I couldn’t believe she changed her number because of me. None of this made sense. It wasn’t like Bella to do this with so little explanation. I mean, she was so adamant about dealing with Jake cordially when he was here, and she didn’t want to hurt him, but it was so easy for her to hurt me?
I eventually located a phone number for her home in Phoenix. I called, and surprisingly enough, her mother answered.
“Hello?”
I tried to hide my accent. “May I speak with Bella?”
“Who is this?”
“A friend of hers.”
“Is this Edward? She’s done with you. Can’t you take a hint? She’s not home right now, and she doesn’t want to talk to you. Please stop calling.”
The line went dead. The anger that coursed through my veins was more than I could control. I had to leave her flat so I wouldn’t destroy everything in sight, the same way Jake had. How could she do this? How could everything we shared not have been real? How could she leave here and tell me she loved me and then walk out of my life and never come back? Was everything I thought we had together a lie?
Over the months that followed, I asked myself those questions on a regular basis. I never found the answers and my heart never healed. I was irrevocably broken.
***Author’s Note: Hi! So...things are starting to shape up! The next couple of chapters are a little short, so I may try to update twice this week and next. We meet Alice in the next chapter....can you guess where? :) Thanks for reading/reviewing!
Twitter: AllOrNothingKR
Facebook: AllorNothingKr at gmail (dot) com
***CHAPTER 14 - CLICK HERE***
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