Repentance - Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28:

Esme got us safely back to Seattle. I was under the impression she was just going to drop of us and get back on her way. I was wrong. She came in with us to see the new place and she went straight to the third bedroom and starting going on and on about how to decorate it.

“Oh, Bella, it’s going to be so lovely!”

“I’m not sure I’m into that much pink. I mean, I know it’s a girl, but I don’t want too much pink.”

“Oh, Bella, don’t be silly! She will be a little princess! Let’s talk about it over lunch.” Esme said as she exited the room with Masen in tow.

I turned to follow them down the hall and Esme was standing at the door with her keys in hand and Masen on her hip.

“Grab your purse, darling, let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“To lunch. I have to make sure you eat and then we’re going to the grocery so you two will have everything you need until Edward arrives since you are without a car.”

“That’s really not necessary. I’m sure we can manage.”

“Oh, Bella. You’re so exhausting. Just let people help you. Come on!” Esme opened the door and I grabbed my purse and followed after her. Why does everyone think I need help all the time?

Lunch was exhausting, but sort of fun. Esme continued to go on about the baby’s room, even going so far as to take out a pen and paper and start drawing a layout. I did at least talk her into lavender as opposed to pink. Esme insisted we paint the walls a nice lavender color and she would stencil some bright colorful flowers on the wall, as well as the baby’s name.

Masen insisted we name her Dora, after Dora the Explorer. I laughed and told him to ask his dad about that one.

After lunch, Esme took us grocery shopping and bought far more food than Masen or I could ever consume in one week’s time. I didn’t argue though. By the time Esme left, Masen was passed out in his bed for a nap and I was asleep as soon as the back of my head hit the couch.

As if on cue, just about the time I fell asleep, the phone rang. I knew it was Edward. I hadn’t called him when I got home.

“Hey, baby,”I said groggily.

“Hi, are you home? You didn’t call.”

“Yes, I’m sorry. You’re mother wore me out. She took us to lunch and to buy groceries.”

Edward laughed. “Good, she followed instructions perfectly.”

“Oh, you put her up to all this? Here I thought she was just being nice.”

“She is being nice. She really does love you guys, you know that, don’t you?”

“Yes, I suppose. I’m just not used to a motherly figure being around. I mean, my mom was never around when I was growing up. I just did everything for myself. It’s just strange that she wants to be a part of everything. I don’t even think my mother knows I’m pregnant.” I had to laugh after I realized that. I hadn’t even spoken to her. I’m sure Charlie would pass the news along.

Edward laughed too. “You should call her before your father does.”

“Nah, let him do it. I’m too exhausted to listen to her. Oh, that reminds me. Why weren’t the Denali’s at Thanksgiving dinner? You’re mom said they were no longer welcome?”

“Oh, yea, it’s sort of a long story. They basically found out about everything that happened between you and I from the beginning and didn’t have nice things to say about either of us. They thought mom should disown me. She told them to go to hell.”

I giggled. “Good for her. This Thanksgiving was so different than the last! I really enjoyed it, Edward. It felt like a real family.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Bella. Everyone loves you and Masen just as much as I do.”

I smiled contently and a yawn slipped out. “Baby, I’m really sleepy. I need to take a nap. I’ll call you when I get up, okay?”

“Alright. Did you lock the door after mom left?” I jumped off the couch because I knew I hadn’t. It slipped my mind. I lied, “Yes, of course, I did.”

“Okay, get some rest. I’ll check on you later. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

I waited to lock the door until he hung up, fearing he would hear it click. I couldn’t believe I forgot to lock the door. Being pregnant made me so forgetful. I locked up, checked on Masen, and passed out in my bed.

***

The next few days were uneventful until Edward arrived home. I took the day off work and Masen and I spent the afternoon baking and decorating a cake that said “Welcome Back Daddy!” Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett and Emmalie all came over to eagerly await his return.

He came through the door with his parents and was surprised to see all of us. The cast was gone, but he still wore a partial boot on his foot up to his knee. He hobbled in and I nearly attacked him before he got half way into the apartment. I threw my arms around his neck and his arms circled my waist. I kissed his cheek. “Welcome back. I’m so glad you’re home.”

He smiled and kissed me again before I felt Masen lunge at our legs trying to crawl his way up Edward’s boot.

“Masen, quit! Be careful.” I warned as I pulled away and picked Masen up so he could be handed over to Edward.

Edward carried Masen around with him as he greeted everyone. The Cullens stayed for cake and helped get all of Edward’s things inside before they headed back out with everyone else. The Cullens were joining Rose and Emmett at their place for dinner. They invited us, but Edward and I declined.

After everyone left, we got Edward settled and had a quiet dinner. For the first time in a long time, we both got to read Masen a bedtime story that night.

It felt good to have Edward home, and it especially felt good to have him next me in our bed again.

Things were unusually quiet in the weeks to follow. I continued working and going to school, with the exception of the class I shared with James. I continued my studies in that class via correspondence. I thought maybe I’d run into James on campus somewhere, but I never did. In fact, I’d never seen him since. Edward and I were settling into a routine. I knew he was wearing Emmett out with his appointments but he was almost finished with his physical therapy.

Edward had been so amazing since he had gotten home. I was gone most of the day and every single night when I’d get home, he would have the apartment sparkling clean and dinner on the table. He tried to help out as much as he could and not burden me. I mean, I didn’t think he was a burden, but he seemed to think he was.

***

Edward was nearly 100% back to normal by the time Christmas rolled around. As soon as Edward was back to his old self, he dove right back into school and work. He got registered for classes for the Spring semester and had a heavy course load. With the help of one of the attorneys I worked with, Edward secured a position at a law firm down the street from the one I worked at. He was going to work full time and go to school full time in the evenings.

I was personally dreading the big switch our schedules were about to take on. I decided not to return to class in the Spring. I had finished my undergrad and still had a ways to go with my graduate classes. I felt like I’d never see Edward any more after the first of the year. I made it a point to really enjoy our time together at Christmas.

We spent Christmas with the Cullens in Portland and Charlie and my mother came as well. It was truly wonderful. Charlie seemed to be coming to terms with Edward and I’s situation and he seemed to no longer hold it against him, or at least he acted like he didn’t. I’m sure deep down he probably still wants to slit his throat for what he did. I really try not to think about it anymore.

Edward’s gift to me was a small vacation before he returned to work and school. To my surprise, the three of us ended up flying back to Jacksonville with my mom. Masen was so amazed by the flight. He got the window seat and stared out the window commenting on the clouds until he finally fell asleep.

It wasn’t until we got to my mom’s house that I realized we were going somewhere else. Renee was keeping Masen for three days while Edward and I drove to St. Augustine.

He rented a nice little beach house for us, and although it was a little chilly, the scenery was still beautiful. I was a little disappointed that Masen wasn’t coming with us, but I soon discovered why.

It was New Year’s Eve and Edward and I had been to an early dinner and to a little ice cream parlor before we found ourselves walking down the beach at sunset. Edward set a blanket out for us on the beach just down from where we were staying. I sat between his legs and he had his arms wrapped around me. We watched a beautiful sunset and tried hopelessly to name our future child. Edward wanted to name her after me and I absolutely refused. I wanted to name her something different. I wanted her to have her own identity. We went back and forth for a few minutes and I was still throwing out random names when Edward interrupted me.

“Bella, I didn’t bring you here to name the baby,” he said suddenly.

I frowned, slightly taken back by his sudden unwillingness to continue the conversation.

“Oh,” I said, not knowing what else to say.

He chuckled lightly and I looked back at him over my shoulder and I nudged him. “What? What’s you’re problem?”

Edward laughed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that to come out so harsh. Bella, I brought you here to do something else.”

“Oh, well what is it?” I asked as I turned back to look at the waves and vivid colors painting the sky.

Edward sighed and squeezed me tighter. “Bella, I want to talk to you about something. I know you don’t like this topic, but please, hear me out until I finish, okay?”

That made me a little bit uncomfortable. I was afraid to look back at him. “Okay,” I said.

“Will you turn around and look at me?” he asked softly.

I sighed. I was pretty damn comfortable where I was and now I wouldn’t be able to see the sunset. I got up and turned to face him, sitting on my knees, between his legs. “Okay, what is it?” I asked anxiously.

Edward ran a nervous hand through his hair and took a deep breath before blowing it out. He was really making me nervous. He never looked this anxious and I knew the topic I didn’t want to hear about was the night he...I couldn’t even say it to myself anymore. It didn’t matter anymore. It still hurt. The thoughts still terrified me, but it was in the past. Edward was a different person now, but the way he was acting made me feel like he was about to drop a bomb on me that I wasn’t prepared for.

“Bella, when I...”

I interrupted him. “Wait!” I said suddenly, holding my hand up. “Are you about to tell me something I don’t want to hear? Something that will hurt me?”

He just stared at me, open mouthed.

I couldn’t even look him in the eye. I averted my gaze and looked down at the blanket beneath us. “Please, don’t,” I whispered. “I can’t...I don’t want to know if it it’s going to hurt me.”

Suddenly, Edward looked deflated and his hand came up, his palm caressed my cheek and urged me to look up at him. I obliged and when our eyes met, he continued.

“Bella, I’m not going to hurt you, at least I sure as hell don’t think I am. I just don’t want you to interrupt until I finish.”

I let out a strangled laugh. “I guess I already messed up.”

Edward laughed too. “It’s okay. Just hear me out?”

I nodded my head, still anxious, and waited for him to continue.

Edward swallowed loudly and ran his hand through his hair again. I wished he would stop, he was making me a nervous wreck. A million obscene thoughts were flooding my mind. I didn’t understand what he was trying to tell me and it was frustrating me to see him so unusually anxious.

He took a deep breath and looked up at me again with questioning eyes. “Don’t interrupt?” he asked.

I scoffed. “I said I wouldn’t...hurry up! You’re making me nervous and I have to pee!”

Edward laughed loudly. “Okay...” he began. His expression turned serious. “I don’t care what you say, or how many times you tell me to forget, I will never, ever, forgive myself for what I did to you that night.”

I sighed and looked away. I didn’t want to hear this. It hurt too much, but I tried to keep quiet, because I promised I would.

He tilted my chin back up towards him. “The image of your innocent face never left the backs of my eyelids. I wanted so badly to undo that night. Every single fucking day. Even now, every day.”

I pleaded with him with my eyes, to understand it would never be undone. He shot me a warning glance, so I stayed quiet and let him continue.

“When I first met you, on the street outside your place in Seattle, I knew who you were the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew Masen was mine. You were upset and frustrated and you looked miserable and I knew it was all my fault, but you kept your cool and carried on. I promised myself that day that I’d make sure you and Masen were okay. I’d find a way to make your life easier, even if you didn’t want my help. I wanted to make it up to you so badly. Not to make my own guilt any less easier to deal with, but because you deserved it. Because you raised a child that any other reasonable person would’ve handed off to the first decent set of parents that came into an adoption agency. I loved Masen from the instant I realized he was my flesh and blood. I know it sounds crazy, but I was so grateful to you, that you kept him and even though your situation at the time wasn’t ideal, you were doing your best and it was so much more than anyone would’ve expected of you.”

I didn’t know why he was doing this, why he was bringing back all these old memories. He was hurting me and he said he wouldn’t. Tears filled my eyes and I had to look away from him.

He wiped the tears that fell over my cheeks and urged me to look at him.

“I promise I’m not trying to hurt you, just hear me out, please?”

I nodded my head, encouraging him to go on, hoping this was somehow making him feel better.

“I never meant to fall in love with you. It was never my intention. I had resigned myself to a lonely existence because that is what I deserved. I just wanted to know you were okay and that our son was okay and provided for. It just happened so fast. Everything you did, every smile, every hurdle you climbed over, it took my breath away. You were stronger than me and had such a passion to move forward and I was still stuck in the past. I fell in love with you...and I fell so hard. I never should’ve let our relationship move forward, to being intimate, without telling you first, but I knew you’d leave. Looking back, I know how selfish I was. It terrified me every time we touched, that you’d realize who I was. But you were persistent, and beautiful, and I wanted to love you and not lose you.”

He reached for my shaking hands and took them in his.

“The last year and a half with you and Masen, has been the best time of my life. I know we’ve been through excruciating highs and lows and we’ve beaten all the odds stacked against us. I know that as long as you and I are together, we can make it through anything. I know we have a lot of changes coming our way in the next year and more hurdles to get over, but Bella, you’re the most incredible woman I’ve ever met and I wouldn’t want to go on this journey with anyone else. Next year is going to be hard for both of us, but I want you to know how committed to you and to our family, I am.”

I was such a baby. I could hardly see him for all the tears in my eyes. I blinked once and they poured over on to my cheeks. I sniffed and he brought his hand to my face, gently brushing away the tears so I could see him clearly. He leaned in and kissed my lips, slowly and gently, before pulling back just a tiny bit and our eyes met. His thumb moved back and forth across my cheek as he whispered against my lips, “Bella, will you make me the luckiest man in the world, and marry me?”

I shot back from him and gasped, my eyes wide. I just wasn’t expecting it. Tears blurred my vision again as I lunged forward and hugged his neck tightly, feeling his arms come around my waist.

“Edward!” I screamed. “You scared me to death, I thought you were going to tell me something terrible!”

Edward laughed. “Is that a yes or no?” he asked.

I laughed and nudged him as I pulled back to look at him. “Of course it’s a yes! There’s no one else in the world I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.”

We both grinned wildly at each other. Edward pulled a ring from his pocket and slid it gracefully onto my ring finger and the waterworks started again. It was beautiful. It was simple. It was perfect. It was me.

“Do you like it?” he asked as I stared breathlessly at it. It was a simple platinum band with a moderately sized marquis diamond that absolutely sparkled. It wasn’t too much, or too flashy, it was just perfect.

“Oh, Edward.” I looked up at him. “I love it. I love you.”

He smiled and our lips crashed upon each other as we fell back on to the blanket, smiling and giddy, like two teenagers in love.


***Author’s Note: Thanks for reading and for all the awesome reviews! I’m sure you guys enjoyed this drama free chapter! When I update the next chapter, I’ll also be posting a preview of my new story - Elusive Reality. It’s all human B/E. I don’t even know how to briefly describe what it’s about - you just have to read it. I’m looking forward to getting more of it written (the first several chaps are done), and while I really love the story and it has an interesting story line, it doesn’t have as controversial subject matter as Repentance does, so you don’t have to worry about that. ;)

**CHAPTER 29 - CLICK HERE**